Well that was relatively quick and darn it I got beaten to being first by the author no less! Anyway, this was awesome and I cannot wait for the rest to come into play, right boys?
Medic: Oh I cannot wait! Ha!
See? Even Medic is enjoying this! Keep up the amazing work 6588693
6588695 Ah, but there's a difference between not wanting to read boring writing that hasn't provided a hook, and the tutorial of a computer game or the intro to My Little Pony. In the case of the computer game, I am actively doing something, and learning about the game in question. Thus, it isn't boring. Plus most tutorials are short. In the case of the show, most TV shows have theme songs, and most are longer than MLP's. But most theme songs are also catchy, with interesting visuals that get you excited about the show in question.
In the case of writing, the prologue and/or first chapter should be enough to get me interested. If the first chapter, the part that is supposed to really draw readers in and get them interested and excited, is boring, then why would I read the rest of the story? It's like writing a dull description. The description is the bait, the first chapter is the hook. In this story, the bait is good, but the hook is dull. It's not a matter of lacking patience, it's a matter of the story not having a strong enough start for me to stay.
6589169 I don't know can you cause right now I got some guests reading with me like say Bowser? Bowser roars and breaths fire over my head Hey! Watch the roar Bowser! I don't want to be cooked here!
Scout: Yeah there he is!
Soldier:Points at Bowser You stop right there! That is an order!
Hold that thought for a second...
Scout: Don't do it man, don't do it!
Soldier: Do not do it!
Sees Bowser charging at themScout: Oh god, oh god!
6589131 You simultaneously acknowledge the story's hook, saying you feel it is a "boring hook", and insist that it has "no hook" at all.
You've also claimed that the story is "confusing and hard to understand". If I may ask, which parts confuse you? Is it the structure? The vocabulary? Are you having trouble with the fact that not everything is spelled out or immediately explained? My writing does reward readers who cognitively engage, and this one in particular is as much a mystery story as it is an adventure. If you are too confused to recognize the hook, then I recommend sticking to more straightforward stories. If you find the hook dull, then this is simply not the right story for you. (Perhaps you would be happier with something by Michael Bay? )
6589215 And now you've gone from defending your story to insulting me personally. As such, I will not justify that with a response. Only to say that when you cannot prove your point in any other way than by personal insults, it doesn't reflect well on you or the story.
Please remember that you are the one who complained that the story was confusing to you and hard for you to understand. I merely asked for clarification. That's not the same as attempting to "prove a point".
Please pay closer attention to the use of question marks and the "if" component of if/then statements.
If my suggestion that you might prefer something by Michael Bay struck you as insulting rather than humorous, then I am to blame. The only thing I can say in my defense is that I was responding to someone who got bored when the first 3000 words of a story didn't involve an explosion.
Either way, I see the conversation has come to an end. Again, best of luck to you.
Good read. Reminds me of India Jones or movie like Journey to the Center of the Earth. Though maybe I enjoyed it a lot more cause I was listening to music.
This chapter sort of reminds me of the assassin attacks that take place in the memory orbs and the pirate kidnapping mentioned in the main story. Maybe even the odd untold details of the tragedy of Littlehorn as well. It's all very interesting to note and think about things in this story that might or might not have effects an the main story.
Not to mention the precursors of magical ammunition. Assassin weapons? My do some zebras have nasty weapons, do they not?
6589243 Considering how much I love FO:E, I'm sure it won't disappoint. Thus far, the writing seems on-par with your previous work, and is nothing short of stellar. I find myself wishing the chapters were a bit longer, but given the update pace, it seems to even out. The one complaint I have is that the formatting seems off, but that could be due to me reading on mobile.
So far, 9/10 solid work! Very enjoyable, and it frames the FO:E-verse well. Odd, considering this is original work from the creator, but it fits well.
6588693 Well I must say this is getting exciting! bravo job well done Kkat! Loving how this is going so far, the mystery and intrigue is astoundingly awesome~
So, awesome job, nice work and good show! So keep it up gurl I eagerly await more to this story.
There is a reason that the Elements of Harmony, fueled by the Spirits of Harmony, working together under the direction of those whose virtues resonate with Spirits of Harmony, are the single most powerful magical force in our world.
It is strange to see such a sentiment given how Celestia kept them off the front lines of war so as not to let them get killed.
Over the next few days, I made it my mission to get to know A.K. Yearling and, if possible, become her friend.
Wait, what? I thought AKY and Daring Do were the same pony? So far, so good.
The two crashed into one of the stacks of crates marked for the Stalliongrad.
extra "the"
Having read your blog post "Signs and Portents," I should have known to re-watch Daring Don't for some additional context. Now, along with rereading the story, everything is making a lot more sense.
Ahhh! I'm being sucked into the story! It won't let me go… It's like a giant squid got ahold of me; except, it's less painful.
This is one of those stories that give me mixed feelings by being so good; I don't want it to end, and I saw the word count, which was less than a day's worth of reading. (I have only two speeds for reading: “yes” and “no”. I can't artificially prolong my reading.)
I wonder if the thing going on with A.K. Yearling is actually what I think it is. I also wonder if the Sphinx knew something, and was giving a hint. Because my answer to the riddle would seem to point to something like that.
((And I better stop there before I start exploring tangential tangents.))
Thank you, everyone! I hope you enjoy the new chapter!
I should be posting a new chapter each day for the next week.
6588658 Or you could try not being pretentious about it
Well that was relatively quick and darn it I got beaten to being first by the author no less! Anyway, this was awesome and I cannot wait for the rest to come into play, right boys?
Medic: Oh I cannot wait! Ha!
See? Even Medic is enjoying this! Keep up the amazing work 6588693
Now this is definitely interesting. I look forward to seeing more and how this all turns out.
6588766 why is the medic here again ?
6588702 In what way is not wanting to slog through uninteresting writing at the beginning of the story pretentious?
6588695 Ah, but there's a difference between not wanting to read boring writing that hasn't provided a hook, and the tutorial of a computer game or the intro to My Little Pony. In the case of the computer game, I am actively doing something, and learning about the game in question. Thus, it isn't boring. Plus most tutorials are short. In the case of the show, most TV shows have theme songs, and most are longer than MLP's. But most theme songs are also catchy, with interesting visuals that get you excited about the show in question.
In the case of writing, the prologue and/or first chapter should be enough to get me interested. If the first chapter, the part that is supposed to really draw readers in and get them interested and excited, is boring, then why would I read the rest of the story? It's like writing a dull description. The description is the bait, the first chapter is the hook. In this story, the bait is good, but the hook is dull. It's not a matter of lacking patience, it's a matter of the story not having a strong enough start for me to stay.
6589096 Beats me, guess all of them like this book so far and are reading it with me?
Spy: Gentlemen, I'm back...
Hey Spy great to see you here.
6589167 wait a minute if you can bring video games characters here then i should be able to right ?
6589169 I don't know can you cause right now I got some guests reading with me like say Bowser? Bowser roars and breaths fire over my head Hey! Watch the roar Bowser! I don't want to be cooked here!
Scout: Yeah there he is!
Soldier: Points at Bowser You stop right there! That is an order!
Hold that thought for a second...
Scout: Don't do it man, don't do it!
Soldier: Do not do it!
Sees Bowser charging at them Scout: Oh god, oh god!
6589190 oh shit, where's my Thompson when I need it
I didn't read the Origin Story in blog form, so I'm glad to see it being condensed into one solid place.
6589131 You simultaneously acknowledge the story's hook, saying you feel it is a "boring hook", and insist that it has "no hook" at all.
You've also claimed that the story is "confusing and hard to understand". If I may ask, which parts confuse you? Is it the structure? The vocabulary? Are you having trouble with the fact that not everything is spelled out or immediately explained? My writing does reward readers who cognitively engage, and this one in particular is as much a mystery story as it is an adventure. If you are too confused to recognize the hook, then I recommend sticking to more straightforward stories. If you find the hook dull, then this is simply not the right story for you. (Perhaps you would be happier with something by Michael Bay? )
6589214 Thank you! I hope you enjoy it!
6589215 And now you've gone from defending your story to insulting me personally. As such, I will not justify that with a response. Only to say that when you cannot prove your point in any other way than by personal insults, it doesn't reflect well on you or the story.
6589276
Please remember that you are the one who complained that the story was confusing to you and hard for you to understand. I merely asked for clarification. That's not the same as attempting to "prove a point".
Please pay closer attention to the use of question marks and the "if" component of if/then statements.
If my suggestion that you might prefer something by Michael Bay struck you as insulting rather than humorous, then I am to blame. The only thing I can say in my defense is that I was responding to someone who got bored when the first 3000 words of a story didn't involve an explosion.
Either way, I see the conversation has come to an end. Again, best of luck to you.
6589276
6589370 Wow I came to check out a story and this is what I find.
6589384 Drama!
Yeah, I'm a little embarassed. But we're done now.
Anyway, I do hope you enjoy the story. Please let me know what you think.
6589397 Indeed but it was an interesting argument. I actually invested time into reading the whole thing and said forth.
Good read. Reminds me of India Jones or movie like Journey to the Center of the Earth. Though maybe I enjoyed it a lot more cause I was listening to music.
Kinda fits a bit with this chapter.
This chapter sort of reminds me of the assassin attacks that take place in the memory orbs and the pirate kidnapping mentioned in the main story. Maybe even the odd untold details of the tragedy of Littlehorn as well. It's all very interesting to note and think about things in this story that might or might not have effects an the main story.
Not to mention the precursors of magical ammunition. Assassin weapons? My do some zebras have nasty weapons, do they not?
6589243
Considering how much I love FO:E, I'm sure it won't disappoint. Thus far, the writing seems on-par with your previous work, and is nothing short of stellar. I find myself wishing the chapters were a bit longer, but given the update pace, it seems to even out. The one complaint I have is that the formatting seems off, but that could be due to me reading on mobile.
So far, 9/10 solid work! Very enjoyable, and it frames the FO:E-verse well. Odd, considering this is original work from the creator, but it fits well.
I eagerly await more.
6589682
This sums up my reaction to your question.
6588693
Well I must say this is getting exciting! bravo job well done Kkat!
Loving how this is going so far, the mystery and intrigue is astoundingly awesome~
So, awesome job, nice work and good show!
So keep it up gurl I eagerly await more to this story.
Oh I haven't seen that episode. 0_0 Sorry bout that.
It is strange to see such a sentiment given how Celestia kept them off the front lines of war so as not to let them get killed.
Wait, what? I thought AKY and Daring Do were the same pony? So far, so good.
extra 'the'
Just had to point that out, I'm enjoying the vague beginning and it's so much of a breeze to read after a 20-30k chapter.
That damned riddle is going to drive me crazy!
extra "the"
Having read your blog post "Signs and Portents," I should have known to re-watch Daring Don't for some additional context. Now, along with rereading the story, everything is making a lot more sense.
Ahhh! I'm being sucked into the story! It won't let me go… It's like a giant squid got ahold of me; except, it's less painful.
This is one of those stories that give me mixed feelings by being so good; I don't want it to end, and I saw the word count, which was less than a day's worth of reading. (I have only two speeds for reading: “yes” and “no”. I can't artificially prolong my reading.)
I wonder if the thing going on with A.K. Yearling is actually what I think it is. I also wonder if the Sphinx knew something, and was giving a hint. Because my answer to the riddle would seem to point to something like that.
((And I better stop there before I start exploring tangential tangents.))
Neatreactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/neat_futurama.gif
6742063
Or, this sentence could be rewritten as “The two crashed into one of the stacks of crates marked for the city of Stalliongrad”.