Don't write on two hours of sleep, trust me.

A story with an Anon and the methods he takes to dissuade the Princesses from asking him so many questions about his home and culture. Lacking the basic courtesy of a pony and definitely disregarding their pride in magic, this human drops to lows that are usually seen only in the most disgusting of humans.

Enjoy or not, I had fun writing this and it's more for my sanity than anything.
PS- No actual sex is in this story so calm yourselves.

Professional Reviews

"drunk/10 not bad" –NuclearWaffles21

"I'm seriously rock hard right now." –Rebel

"yeah the 3 children in my basement won't shut the fuck up" –Winter the Gimp

"This is both extremely stupid, and written in such a way that I expect your non-trolly-stories to not be extremely stupid." –bobbananaville

"I don't remember how I found this story, but it was weird, and I liked it." –Narlepoax III

”I like story! Is very good! Now you go to Gulag!” –Joseph Stalin

This story is a sequel to How many friends have you made today?!

Things are a lot better for Anon since the events of Ponyville. His store is doing great and he enjoys the company of all his friends. As the days go on, he finds that the problems of the past are quick to haunt him as he is forced to face the one thing that hurt him the most.

Anon likes his life to be simple. He wakes up, goes to work and sometimes gets himself a good book to read while he is home. It's a routine that he likes to follow, it makes him feel like he has a bit of normality with his life in Equestria. The fact that having Celestia come crashing into his home as part of his routine should prove that his life is anything but normal.

(Thanks to PeerImagination for editing!)

John is alone on this world and has not seen a single soul in a long time. His only companions have been the ghosts only he can hear. Driven by guilt, he goes from town to town, searching and doing the only thing he can do:

Give the dead their final rest.

Discord once gave him a gift. It was given in grief. John has yet to understand what this gift means. He has lost track of time and madness and sanity wage a constant war in his mind.

For John, the greatest terror in his heart is facing the Goddesses.

He's about to meet one of them.

You'd think that being trapped in stone would mean that, if nothing else, I could get some peace and quiet. Unfortunately, it seems that Celestia has other ideas.

She has appointed these ponies... these 'Keepers', as she calls them, to keep me entertained during my incarceration.

Honestly? I'd prefer the boredom.

Cover art by matrosha123
Spanish Translation by SPANIARD KIWI found here

Discord's the only creature in Equestria who can recognize the human for what he is -- not the long-lost Seventh Element that never actually existed and couldn't have existed before the human arrived, but a meta-reality warper, an entity far more powerful than Discord with the power to warp the minds of all around him and the very rules of magic to make sure that he's always the Big Hero. And the role the human's assigned to Discord is the Villain to beat down or kill.

Pre-reform Discord's fine with being the villain. But on his own terms. Not dancing on some alien interloper's puppet strings.

Without friendship, or even allies, Discord's going to have to find a way to defeat a creature who can alter fate itself and who can even mind-control him. Or he may just end up worse than dead.

Art by Tenchi-Outsuno. Progress Bar at my writing journal.

Trigger warnings: Mind control (magically induced love, magically induced friendship, magically induced stupidity, Discord being Discord), noncon/dubcon (magically induced love, other forms of highly dubious consent), rape (female on male), violence/gore (mostly against Discord), literally everything in chapters 19-21, humans not being presented as unilaterally wonderful and superior to ponies and/or draconequui.

The tyrannical Shadow Stallion oppresses Equestria, coating the land in a thick layer of clouds, tightly controlling the population. Three children, the unicorns Celestia and Luna, along with a Draconequus, Discord, must live up to their fate. They must find the Elements of Harmony and take up their rightful place as Equestrias new gods and saviors.

Adventure and Friendshipping mix, intended to be a possible prequel to the show. Featured on EqD since January 09, 2012. Six Stars.

Professor Discord starts receiving unwanted attention from the new student of Celestial Academy, Twilight Sparkle. As Twilight spends her days trying to unravel the mystery surrounding the Draconequus, something watches from the shadows with malicious intent.

Today is Father's Day, a most joyous occasion for Discord to spend time with Celestia and Luna. Even though technically he isn't their father. Kind of. It's complicated.

I've been best friends with Twilight since I was young, but since she's ascended, I've been left with a lot to think about. How will this change things between us?

Thanks to T for commissioning this story.