• Member Since 28th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 15th, 2019

RealBarenziah


T

Professor Discord starts receiving unwanted attention from the new student of Celestial Academy, Twilight Sparkle. As Twilight spends her days trying to unravel the mystery surrounding the Draconequus, something watches from the shadows with malicious intent.

Chapters (14)
Comments ( 275 )

Hm. Nice story so far.
Question: did you have a prereader run through this?
My personal feeling is no, you did not. Don't take this the wrong way; the story is still well-written.
But it does look like it could use a run-through...
While you did break the infamous wall-o'-text occasionally, there needs to be more breaks. There's no truly clear paragraphs, nor are they marked by indentations.
Especially here:
"I hope this will be satisfactory," Luna said.
"It's wonderful, thank you Princess."
Luna smiled modestly . . . at our Academy."
"Thank you, Princess."
( Paraphrased. )
That definitely appears as a globular, singular block of words.
Sorry, I seem to be in hypercritical mode today... :twilightblush:
If you would like... I could take a look for you in this and future chapters?
.....long shot, I know.
Still, I do like the premise so far. The synopsis certainly gave me a vague, but presentable, view of what could come next! Ciao for now.
- Ohm Machre

940617 I'll run through them again first. It can't hurt to have a second editor, though. I'll contact you when I'm done rereading. thanks for the offer! :heart:

940778 No prob! I'd be plenty glad to extend my services - like I already have, haha.
And, I didn't comment on this earlier, but I like the Theatrhythm-style Twilight you have there! ;D

940795 Thanks! It's a screenshot from Wedding In Canterlot pt. 1

940822
Ah...
Sheesh, I can just imagine Theatrhythm with ponies instead of Final Fantasy characters. XD

To the To-Read-Later list with ye!:twilightsheepish:
(...Also it's 'receiving' rather than 'recieving' in the description:twilightblush:)

I LOVE Discolight! freakinawesomenetwork.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/S2e201.jpg :twilightsmile: You're going to a great start with this story, and I can't wait to read more! :heart:

I love this story so far. All you had to say was DiscoLight and I was there! :pinkiehappy: Interesting so far!
Have a moustache. :moustache:

Getting interesting. Can't wait for more! :pinkiehappy::heart:

Is Discord having a difficult time finding a student who wants to learn? or is he simply being Discord?
either way ...
dis gonna be GOOD! :moustache:

I was SO happy when you updated! :pinkiehappy:

The way you portray Discord makes him sound so in-character, and his constant remarks to his class make him a WELL-beloved character even more in your story. I feel bad for Twilight being ridiculed just because she's different, I was like that in elementary school and middle school as well. :fluttershysad:

I can't wait for the next chapter! :twilightsmile:

Wow I just noticed: 15 likes and 0 dislikes!!! Let's see if I can keep it up! :heart:
You guys are awesome!

1054258
Make that 16 :twilightsmile:
Great story, can't wait for more!

Just a notice: Chapter 1 has been reworked. It's shorter, I think, but it reads better now.

Oh goodness :derpyderp2: So fabulous! I love it so far! I can't wait to see how it works out :twilightsmile:

YAY update! :yay:
So discord knows what twilight is up to now. Can't wait to see how that turns out.:twilightsmile:

I wonder what Discord thinks now that he knows what she's doing... :twilightsmile:

I wonder who left the the paper in her book. Great chapter. :heart:

I was so THRILLED that you updated! :pinkiehappy:

I really like this Mahogany character, I hope she plays a bigger role in your story. :twilightsmile:

So Discord's been watching Twilight...can't wait to see how this plays out. :rainbowhuh:

Can't wait for more! :yay:

ugh I want so much MORE! I can hardly wait! This story is so GOOD and INTERESTING!
Keep it up! :twilightsmile:

I really enjoy how the characters bounce off each others :twilightsmile: it is really amusing :moustache::moustache::moustache: have some mustaches

:rainbowhuh:Discord seems a bit...dulled out, I guess.

i wonder how this is going to play out :rainbowderp:

update!!! yaaaaay!
I expect more.

I wonder how this will all play out? c: So curious~ :yay: :derpytongue2:

Discord really is tired if he did not notice that Luna passed her work of on to him ... :trollestia:

Yay! This reminds me of Hogwarts, at first I thought Dicsord would be like Snape but nah...keep on! :pinkiehappy:

Update in the near future, perhaps?:twilightblush:

Woo hoo its a back!
Twilight may find out that as hard as she is studying Discord, he may be studying her just as intently. :scootangel:

Comment posted by RealBarenziah deleted Dec 29th, 2012

I love this story. And poor twilight, getting picked on like that. I ca t wait to see what happens next.

oh, this is a interesting twist.....
cant wait to see how this turns out :twilightsmile:

This is a very fascinating story. It is very well written. I look forward to seeing more.

please keep it up I LOVE the story!:pinkiesmile::pinkiehappy::pinkiesmile:

You might as well give up now Discord. Twilight WILL find out your secrets. :twilightsmile:

Twilight is going to find you out Discord. Just you wait and see. :pinkiehappy:

I do enjoy reading this story. It is fun to see the young Sparkle to look at Discord with such curiosity. That is one rather nasty curse Celestia put on him but I must admit it is better then stone. The pacing and writing is very well done. I only ended up noticing one error.

“Where’s your tie?” She asked. His neck was completely bare. It was to see him without it.

It seems you are missing an adjective that is supposed to describe how strange it is to see Discord without his tie. Maybe it wasn't strange but some other adjective. Rather good story I look forward to more.

2046666 Ah yes, I altered that sentence last minute. I must have accidentally deleted one too may words. Thanks!

I enjoyed this chapter! I can't wait to read more but take all the time you need to make more greatness! :twilightsmile:

well, this is interesting, a curse from celestia?
can wait to see how this goes for twilight :twilightsmile:

ooooooooooooh... twilights gonna be angry at a few pones tomorrow :twilightangry2:

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