• Member Since 10th Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

naturalbornderpy


Just a nice, polite Canadian.

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Set 10 years after the brief escape of Tirek, Discord knows one last ploy is all that will be allowed him. Unleashing a villain long since defeated and forgotten, Discord sets in motion a series of events that'll either end with his victory... or his final curtain call. Since when was friendship supposed to last forever?

Chapters (24)
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Comments ( 109 )

Really good for a first Fic! I don't read any Dark Fics (just Cupcakes, Rainbow Factory and another classical Dark Fics), but you sir caught my attention! :ajsmug:

Thanks! This is the first fanfic of absolutely anything I've done but I thought I had at least one ok story in me. Thanks for the read.

I'm going to wonder if what Discord has been doing is illegal. That, or has gone without Royal Allowance.
Next chapter, please.

This story is pretty good:twilightsmile:

You've got my attention with this deliciously evil story. I'm looking forward to reading more...

Ah, new chapters! I shall partake when I get home from work. :rainbowdetermined2:

Man, I love Sombra being sadistic. More chapters, pleasssse.

Wow. :rainbowderp:

I don't think Discord knows what he's unleashed. Well, if you play with fire...

4727765 I always thought Sombra deserved some menace...

I'm really enjoying this story.:pinkiesmile: At first, I was going to question your choice of using underlined words, but now I see it was used in the sense to convey the magical manipulation of Sombra. Keep up the good work.:twilightsmile:

Sadistically cruel Sombra is best Sombra

4758473 For some reason he just has the worst time making friends...

This is amazing. Just... Amazing.

You made Sombra into a villain that I actually fear of... For the first time in my life, I felt fear towards a fictional character... Hasbro should hire you.

Aside from some typos here and there, this is a beautiful story so far. And it has sealed King Sombra as a character inside of my mind forever. Your version of King Sombra is also my version of King Sombra now. :twilightsmile:

4776066 Why thank you very much! I always thought since Sombra was pretty close to a blank slate in terms of character, I could use him as any sort of villain I felt would work (still keeping his overall goals in mind). Thanks again for reading.

Though I really like your story, it could use some editing. Italics are used for thoughts and for emphasis in sentences. Underlining could be used for emphasis as well or you could use bold lettering when you are putting forth the image of someone yelling or being blunt with a word. Other than those hints, the story is well put together and captures the attention of the reader very well and holds it for the ride.

4800796 The only reason I underline instead of italicize is because I'm used to writing in manuscript form like my other stuff. If it annoys people enough I might go back and change it eventually. Regardless, thanks for reading along. (Although we're only halfway there.)

Now it's time for Discord to shine, eh?

I'll be honest, that was a pretty good arc. With the whole Wyvern Sombra and his Skeletal defeat, this was pretty darn cool. Can't wait to see Discord do his things. :pinkiehappy:

4804858 Whoa! Spoilers much? I don't think anyone knew Discord was in this story! (Just kidding. Thanks for commenting.)

4810747
Discord is in this story? Man now it's all ruined. I mean the first 13 chapters were good but I didn't want the spoiler that Discord is in this story!

4810747

God dammit, I'm sauce sorry! Discord was supposed to be kept a secret for that added surprise value, I mean, nobody saw it coming! :pinkiegasp:

You invoked the name of the HBO earlier, I think, and given some of their quality titles I thought that was pretty ambitious. But this really is shaping up to be really solid. Great work on Sombra, and efficiently and rather chillingly dispensing with any sympathy for the devil. Thanks for writing.

4841665 Ha! Oh boy, when I mentioned HBO my only intention was to compare the possible tone of the following chapters to some of their shows (i.e. Game of Thrones, True Detective), but never in comparison to overall quality. I don't dare be that cocky! Anyway, thanks for reading!

That was really, really stupid of Discord. Banishing three no-name ponies to the Frozen North is one thing; banishing the husband of one alicorn and the brother of another was a terrible, terrible idea. Did he actually have an unexpected breakdown and have to cover it up? Is he actually starting to crack under the weight of his own lies?

Twilight knows Discord was meeting with someone from the Crystal Empire. Cadance probably knows Shining was going to Canterlot. Possibly, even, to talk to Discord. If they compare notes, Discord is boned. And they will, once they can't find Shining.

4842200 Oh, I'm sure he'll think of something...

This Discord is interesting as he seems to be ruled by the contradictory goals of some chaos mixed with fear of a final death. I also saw the Shining Armor thing coming as soon as they seemed to want to be confronting him. I do like how you add the greying factor of "do we expose the lie for the sake of justice and deny the citizens their happiness for the brutal truth?" I also like how right Discord is about whether the people would actually want either of the other two princesses to rule them. Other than the secret evil deeds Discord has done, he hasn't done anything the people wouldn't be happy about. He's kept the sun and moon moving, he's taken the reigns of leadership instead of hiding away to read or disappear in the ponies' hour of need.

He wants to dance on the edge.

The game is boring now. He won. Nothing left but to stagnate in place under the weight of responsibilities. He needs conflict, he needs challenge. So when his enemies come to him questioning what he's done, he's stopped lying to deflect them, even though he's very, very good at lying. He wants them to know because he wants a conflict.

In the long run he's going to end up in the same million tiny pieces he did all this to save himself from, because he can't bring himself to admit that he's the villain long enough to actually, directly kill, and he can't be satisfied without stirring up hatred and conflict from someone, and now that they know what an incredibly good liar and actor he is when he wants to be, they could never, ever trust anything that comes out of his mouth, ever again. It's like a classic Greek tragedy, where everything the protagonist does to escape the fate he's prophesied ends up bringing him to that fate in the end, largely through his own tragic flaws.

He thinks he did all this in self defense, but had he been a genuine friend, none of the ponies would ever have been able to bring themselves to kill him even if he did slip up badly enough to be put back in stone. Now that ship has sailed. He could have saved himself, but he couldn't believe in the power of friendship... so he threw it away, and what he's done to escape his doom will be what brings that doom upon him.

I just hope Luna and Twilight figure out how to do it in a way that Equestria survives it. Me, I'd try to lure him someplace where no one will see the fight, and bring the Elements back from the Tree and have them lying in wait to ambush him. And then I'd say that when Luna returned, he begged her to take over for him, because he couldn't bear to go on without Celestia and the only reason he'd stuck it out this long was because Equestria needed him and Celestia would have wanted him to take care of her little ponies once she was gone. And then he went to the Tree of Harmony and asked it to turn him to stone, and when it did, the statue crumbled, because he wanted to die to be with Celestia again. Unfortunately, Luna may be too honest to be able to pull off a lie like this, but if they kill him, Equestria will be much, much better off if they can make it look like a tragic suicide for love, and never tell anyone the truth.

Another great chapter that taps into Discord's motivations and fears.:pinkiesmile: I'm really liking your characterization. Also, congrats on getting featured!:pinkiehappy:

4855867 I was featured? I take a nap for a hour and look what happens... lol

This is going to get harder by the second. All I know is Discord's lies he told the ponies can't last forever.

Discord reminds me of Cao Cao and Frank Underwood but with Chaos shit.

4892413 I have no idea who Cao Cao is, but House of Cards is one of my favorite shows, so I find this comparison very cool. House of Cards/House of Chaos? (Someone make the image now!) Thanks for reading.

:applejackunsure: Nothing to stop Discord? But there is got to be way to stop Discord!

May the glorious overlord Discord win!

And that shattering sound was the smashing of the last hope that this won't end with either Discord or everyone else dead.

4930519 Nail on the head. Thanks for commenting.

Well I for once hope the evil guy wins

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