After ponies make peaceful first contact with humanity, President Dick Cheney retaliates by declaring war on Equestria and attempting to overthrow Princess Celestia's tyrannical reign with the finest American military equipment that can be shoved through the small portal into Equestria.

Things don't go as well as planned.

Now with a reading by AShadowOfCygnus!

Within this glittery lemur cage you shall find a collection of (super) short horse word scenes written to match the requests/prompts of various members of the marsupial alumni. Topics range from the serious to the silly, from the kaizo to the catastrophic, from pieces of shipping to pieces of... well... you know... shenaniganical. The one common element to these is pastel horse women and the antics that they partake in. A secondary element, of course, is Skirtsian randimosity.

You have been forewarned.

On one of the darkest days of her life, Derpy needs a hero. Unfortunately what she gets is Dr Whooves. There are many low points in the life of the mysterious Thyme Lord from Gallopfree. This is one of the worst

Cheerilee decided that she would allow each pony in her class to choose what the nature of their homework should be. That was her first mistake.

The second was to think that Scootaloo was serious.

Luna usually doesn't get scared much. Okay that's a lie. But one night when Luna went onto a certain "website" she finds a threatening comment saying a bunch of random things will happen in the week. Copy and Paste. Will it all actually happen?

One of Chrysalis's soldiers finds out just how insane Chrysalis is.

Preread by Rainedash!

I reckon Pinkie Pie has to be in that barrel. I saw her go in myself. But I just can't shake the feeling that if I go and open that lid, she won't be in there.

Many ponies claim to be the Seventh Element of Love/Honor/Fluffy Kittens/Whatever, all in the name of superficial love and glory. Many seek to fight monsters, to claim famous mares as their lovers, or to just stroke their egos. Enough for the Powers That Be to notice.

Chuck Norris is not happy.

Chuck Norris is going to slap roundhouse kick a filly.

Incredible thanks to Regidar and ThatOneWriter for helping me out by prereading it!

Special thanks to Manes for giving me the inspiration I needed to finish this!

When the Bearers race forth from Ponyville on an official mission, somepony has to take over on their day jobs. For Fluttershy, that's usually Snowflake.

But he's not available right now, so today, it's going to be a Sherman tank.

Don't worry. I'm sure nopony will ever notice the difference.

(Inspired by this story. Rated MC for MetaCrack.)

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

And here's a reading!

Weeks after Rarity undergoes a complete meltdown, Princess Luna suggests she join a club called the "Block Party."

It's not a very fun party.