Schrödinger's Pony

by DemonBrightSpirit

Is it Possible...?

“What a waste,” I mutter to myself as I adjust my hat. I’d come all the way into Ponyville to pick up parts for Big Mac, and come to find out, the delivery's late! The parts ain’t even come in yet. There’s an hour out of my busy day I ain’t ever getting back. Durned ponies at the post weren’t even apologetic, either!

So here I was, dragging an empty cart back through Ponyville. And that’s when I saw it: the strangest thing that wasn’t all that strange at all. A pony’s top half was sticking out of a barrel, the barrel’s lid balanced on her head. She was dressed head to hoof in black—looked like some kind of spy outfit. To top it all, she was staring across the way through a pair of binoculars.

All of this would have been quite the strange sight, but it wasn’t. Or was it? Well, this mare just so happened to be Pinkie Pie, so it wasn’t as weird as it normally would be. Heck, for Pinkie Pie this was downright normal. So even though the whole thing was weird, it wasn’t as weird since it was Pinkie doing it.

I stopped in place, and peered out across the way. For the life of me I couldn’t figure out what she was looking at. That made me wonder if she was actually looking at anything. I shook my head. There’s no telling what’s going on in that filly’s head.

“What’cha up to, Pinkie Pie?” I asked.

Pinkie nearly shot out of the barrel, dropping the binoculars. She turned ‘round, glaring at me. “You didn’t see anything,” she said, dead serious. Never taking her eyes off of me, she lowered herself into the barrel until the lid sealed it shut.

I scratched my head. What the hay’s gotten into Pinkie this time? I had half a mind to open up that barrel and confront her about it, but I hesitated as I reached for the lid. A thought crossed my mind. A poisonous thought. There was a pretty good chance that if I opened that barrel, it would be empty.

I unhitched myself from the cart and rounded the barrel. Now, I’ve seen many a barrel. Some of ‘em were shoddy as a two-bit jalopy, but not this one. This barrel was nice and solid. The sturdy wood of it left not a gap in its tight bindings. There wasn’t even a bunghole to be found. This cobblestone street was solid, too. So even if there weren’t a bottom to the barrel, there’d be no way out for Pinkie Pie.

Still, something in my gut told me that if I peeked into that barrel, Pinkie wouldn’t be in there. There ain’t a lick of sense in it. Just ain’t no way she could get out of this here barrel, but still, I couldn’t shake the sinking feeling that somehow she wasn’t in there.

I sat down, staring at the barrel. No. Maybe it weren’t that. Pinkie was in there. She couldn’t have slipped out. But, if I opened the barrel, she wouldn’t be there. It’s as if the very act of me opening the barrel would force Pinkie to not be in there, and until I did that, she would just stay in there.

So what if I kicked it? One good buck and even Pinkie’d yelp. Now that made sense. I got up and prepared to buck it, but then another thought stopped me. What if bucking it was like opening it? Pinkie was in there. She had to be. But if I bucked it, then she wouldn’t be.

I rubbed my chin. It was so frustrating! How would she even be able to just vanish like that? Sure, a Unicorn might be able to teleport if they were really good, but Pinkie was an Earth Pony. So how could she just vanish the instant I lift that lid? Even Hoofdini couldn’t get out of there.

Then, it hit me. The simplest solution there could be. I cleared my throat. “Hey, Pinkie. Why don’t you come outta there and talk to me?”

Silence.

I sighed. I didn’t know why I thought that’d work. But that just brought up more questions. If Pinkie was really in there, why the hay wouldn’t she talk to me? She’s got to be in there. That’s what my head’s been telling me. But my gut just don’t agree.

I should just open it. That’d settle it, right? But if I go and open it, then if she really was in there, I’d never know. Unless I opened it and found her, but what were the odds of that? Pretty low, I’d reckon.

Maybe there was some kind of bait that would lure her out? Cake? A balloon, maybe? Naw, that don’t make sense. She’d never see it from in there. Then again, how would she know if she couldn’t see? Maybe if I just bluffed...

“What are you doing?”

I blinked, recognizing the voice as Twilight’s, but I didn’t dare look away from the barrel. If I looked away for even a second, then Pinkie’d have a chance to slip out of there. “I’m watchin’ this here barrel,” I told her, plain and simple.

“And… why are you doing that?” Twilight asked, walking over next to the barrel so I could see her.

“I’m tryin’ to figure out if Pinkie’s in there or not,” I replied, never taking my eyes off of the barrel.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Well, that’s silly.” Her horn glowed, and so did the barrel’s lid.

I held up a hoof. “Wait!”

It was too late. The lid fell to the side as Twilight peered into the barrel. She raised an eyebrow. “What the—?” Her aura lifted out a white, well-groomed cat. “What in the wide world of Equestria was Opal doing in this barrel?” Twilight levitated Opal over onto her back. “I’m sure Rarity’s worried sick about you. Come on, I’ll take you home.”

I facehooved as I watched Twilight walk away. If Pinkie ever was in the barrel, I’d sure as hay never find out now. I turned, and immediately my field of view was filled by two, blue eyeballs. “Gah!”

I jumped back to see Pinkie Pie—without her fancy outfit—leaning out of the barrel towards me. “Aw, come on!” I shouted, pointing at her. I groaned, pinching my nose. “Pinkie, were you in there the whole time?”

Pinkie jumped out of the barrel and continued to bounce along her way. “It’s a secret!” she replied in a chipper, sing-song manner.

I gave a frustrated grunt before heading over to the cart. I hitched myself in and started again for home.

I have no idea what I was thinking. Like I could ever figure out Pinkie Pie. Even Twilight couldn’t do that. “What a waste,” I muttered to myself.

Comments

[serPomiz]

a perfect regular day in ponyville with aj getting filosophical

[SnoopyStallion]

just dont think about it. when pinkie pie is involved, just shut down your god damn brain and accept everything what will happen.

nice story ^^

[Aatxe360]

5642039

I demand answers! Even if I know I won't get any.

[Wolf Wytch]

I love paradoxes like Pinkie's barrel, Schrödinger's Cat, and The Axe from "John Dies At The End."

[punzil504]

[youtube=cKx7v-uHDRQ]

[Meep the Changeling]

5643340 But Schrodinger's Cat isn't a paradox... It's an explanation of the real phenomena known as Quantum Super Position. This is why US high schools should be required to teach physics to all students

[Wolf Wytch]

5643630 1) i agree, physics should be a high school requirement,
2) i tried to take physics in high school, but all the physics classes were full, so thy put me in marine biology with probably the only high school teacher in America who legitimately believes that coloring pictures is a valid way to teach 16 and 17 year olds about aquatic habitats. I actually read the entire marine biology textbook to actually learn something.
3) America needs a better education system in general

[Meep the Changeling]

5643745 Totally. The system docent work at all. No American is taught anything useful or relevant. Hell 90% of history taught in those classes is so embellished as to be fraudulent. I only got a good education by literally reading the entire library available at my high school.

[Crystal Moose]

5643630
Add to that, it was also Erwin Schrodinger calling bullshit on macro interpretations of quantum superposition. While these days a lot of people use it as an example of quantum superposition, Schrodinger's original intention was to point out the absurdity of a cat both alive and dead based on observation.

[PiercingSight]

While I don't understand (or do I understand that I don't understand? Is that understanding or lack of understanding?) I did enjoy it.

[Meep the Changeling]

5643846 And yet, Superposition is a real thing, as absurd as it is. Its funny how the univerce at it's fundamental level says fuck you to the human idea of logic.

[Crystal Moose]

5643912

univerce at it's fundamental level says fuck you to the human idea of logic.

I kind of feel that describes quantum mechanics in a nutshell. I certainly don't get 99% of it.

[SnoopyStallion]

5643138 welllll I cant give you any answers. pinkie pies actions are not bond to any physical boundaries XD so the best you can do is just accept it XD like twilight did hehe

[IceQB]

Did you just finish playing Virtue's Last Reward or something? o.o

[Meep the Changeling]

5643936 I understand maybe 20% of it, but that's because I am making a serious effort to and am a little nuts.

[rogueunicorn]

This is what happens when you try to understand Pinkie.

[Titanium Dragon]

I wrote a review of this story; it can be found here.

[TheArchive]

Sadly, what Applejack didn't realize (likely since she didn't understand the deeper aspects behind Quantum Mechanics) is that observing Pinkie in the barrel (when she lowered into it) caused her wavefunction to collapse, meaning that she was no longer in a state of superposition. Sorry Pinkie, but not even Quantum Mechanics can get you out of this pickle.

5643846

Actually, that's not right. Well, the idea is right, but the name isn't. Schrodinger's cat, funnily enough, was not made by Schrodinger at all. In fact, it was Einstein who came up with the thought experiment to mock the more "out there" aspects behind Quantum Mechanics (such as the idea that something can both be in one state and a completely different state at the same time).

In fact, even Schrodinger was annoyed by some of the aspects. Example:

If we are still going to put up with these damn quantum jumps, I am sorry that I ever had anything to do with quantum theory. -Erwin Schrodinger

Actually, Hawking had something to say about the cat thing as well (it's also a pretty hilarious quote of his):

When I hear about Schrodinger's cat, I reach for my gun.

[Replicant]

This could easily be a canon short or something. You perfectly captured all of the characters' personalities even from AJ's limited perspective; I love it.

[Starlight Nova]

Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.

[NotanImportantPony]

This is just Pinkie being Pinkie, and as usual Pinkie is entertaining.

[PaulAsaran]

You can has review!