• Published 14th Sep 2013
  • 561 Views, 14 Comments

Internet, Home of the spam. - Xx-Sniper_Masters-xX

(includes screamer reactions)You know when a pony finds spam what they usually think is: This pony is annoying and useless. But what happens what a princess like Luna is face to face with some scary chainmail saying she will die?

  • ...


[The Following Morning]

All I remembered was waking up in the bed. I looked outside to see that the sun was shining brightly through the window. Sucks for me. But I didn't think about it much and went back to sleep only to be woken up by Celestia 4 minutes later.

"Luna! Wake up!" Celestia was shaking me back and forth constantly.

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?!" I said to Celestia angrily.

"It's time for you to lift the moon up to the sky." Celestia said calmly.

I looked outside to see that the sun wasn't there anymore. Had I really overslept? I brushed the thought away and started to lift the moon when Celestia stopped me.

"Say Luna... Since when did you get that mark on your face?" I stared back at Celestia blankly. Not knowing what she was talking about.

"What mark?" I asked.

"That mark on your forehead. It looks like you got kicked in the face." Still not knowing what Celestia was talking about I went into the bathroom to check. There on my head was 2 red circles. How did I not notice this? WAIT A SECOND!

"Tia it's just paint that got on me." I said as Celestia kept staring.

"Since when do you use paint?" Celestia asked

"No... There was painters here today you see? You were still asleep and I fell on one of them." I said to Celestia calmly

"Are you sure?"


"Well alright then. I'm going to sleep Luna. Whatever you do DO NOT go in my room."


I walked through the hallways and looked around. The castle is so big that I actually got lost a couple of times only to have Celestia find me in the closet. But thankfully I memorized the hallways so now there would be no chance of me running into a random room again.

"Alright lets see... I'll get a snack from the kitchen... study the stars for a bit and go back on the internet!" I then had my plan carved into my brain so I wouldn't forget.

As I turned the next corner I noticed that one of my guards had also came around the corner. Next thing I knew was that my guard had reacted and attacked me square in the face.

"Oh my! I'm so sorry Princess Luna! You startled me and I..." I then stopped him mid-sentence and accepted his apology.

"It was an accident. Trust me I'm alright. Move along now." Then guard nodded and then went to do what he was going to do. I watched him as he ran down the hallway and ran right into the wall. Seriously... I can't tell you how many times I watched that same guard run right into that wall. In fact he hit that wall so much it made an indentation of his face.

"I will never understand that guard." I then moved along and went towards the kitchen. There I saw a perfectly laid meal right there. You know some apples, veggies, and some lettuce. Not what you would call a snack but still you couldn't resist a meal like that go cold.

"Maybe I'll just take an apple." I then levitated the apple and placed it in my mouth and ate the whole thing. Well except the core.

As I started to walk to the garden outside I ran into the same guard that had kicked me in the face. This time he hit me on the chin. SHOOT! I have no idea if that guard has superpowers or something but his kicks are insanely painful!

"Oops sorry... I'll be going now!" The guard then rushed towards more of the other guards. He kicked them in the face as well. Maybe next time I won't forgive him...

"Come on Luna get a grip! He's probably just doing a bet or dare." I stood there for a while and then went outside in the garden. I looked at the statue of Discord in the garden and to me it didn't really fit at all. I then looked up at the stars and stared at them. Not really thinking about them much. I mean there were some constellations but still...

"Princess Luna!" a voice called behind me. I turned around to see another guard with a mark on his face.

"Yes?" I asked the guard.

"We have a problem in the castle!" The guard announced.

"And what might that be?" I really hated it when the guards say there is a problem in the castle and they wait for me to answer before they actually say WHAT the problem is.

"One of the guards are constantly kicking us!" The guard said immediately

"I see... I will talk to this guard about his behavior." So I went inside to talk to this guard who has been kicking the others lately. I just hope he doesn't decide to kick Celestia as well.

As I walked around in the hallways I managed to spot that pesky guard again and stop him in his tracks.

"So, tell me why are you kicking our fellow guards in the face?" I asked the guard.

"The internet! It said on the internet that if I didn't kick 20 ponies in the face twice I would die in the next 5 minutes!"

"You don't say? So tell me please. When did you read this on the internet?" I said it sternly so he wouldn't really try to lie. But everypony knows you can't lie to an Alicorn.

"Uhh... 10 minutes ago?" Then I saw as the guard realized it was all fake.

"See? You aren't dead are you? It's just a trick made up by some random pony." I then watched as the guard thanked me and went back to his business. Only to have his fellow guards kick him in the face.

As I turned on the computer I noticed that I had gotten a message from that anonymous pony again.


I sighed and sent him back a message.

'Didn't Read LOL!'

Author's Note:

Some of you should already know the moral of this story.

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