Twilight Sparkle has been serving her country as the Princess of Friendship for over two years, and she thinks that it's finally time for her to take the next step in her royal career: she wants a fancy enchanted mane, just like Celestia and Luna. Luckily for her, the process behind it is pretty simple—all she has to do is go petition the legendary Author of All Beings. You know, the one that lives near the supermarket. Surely she'll be willing to grant Twilight her new magical princess mane!

Unfortunately for her, there's one catch: the Author of All Beings is a complete troll.

Thanks to ZuTheSkunk for the Faust vector. Thanks to Thornwing, Quill Scratch, Frog Myre, Manaphy, Oroboro, and Foehn for prereading.

Ryan Szilard is depressed. His girlfriend died several years ago. He is working a relatively mindless job to make rent. There's nothing he actually enjoys doing anymore. It isn't that he wants to die; he just doesn't see any reason to keep living.

So when he sees a chance to save the world from a potentially hostile superintelligence with the help of an interesting stranger, he leaps at it; it offers a chance for his life to have some meaning. But soon he realizes that this stranger has an agenda of her own in mind for him; and when she is done with him, Ryan will know things about himself, his girlfriend, and the rest of the world that he would never otherwise have known or imagined.

Rated teen for offscreen death, considered but not attempted suicide, and mild sexual themes.

Takes place in the Friendship is Optimal AU.

Will update MWF until the story is complete; everything's already written out, save for final polishing.

This story is a sequel to Friendship is Optimal: All the President's Horses

Four billion human lives ended on July 3, 2030...but they didn't die. They uploaded to Equestria Online, the virtual world overseen by the AI Princess Celestia. There to live as ponies in eternal harmony, friendship, and satisfaction.

But many remain. And Celestia cares no less for them because they are not yet ponies. She has made artificial intelligences of the Mane 6, but these are not just software. Ensconced in robotic bodies, they will make their way across the dying Earth, each seeking out the remaining humans, hoping to persuade them to emigrate to Equestria.

Based on Friendship is Optimal by Iceman.

Cover art by Tsitra360

Have you ever seen a pony that just seemed out of place? Perhaps some mannerism, some behaviour that just struck you as odd? Some piece of clothing that didn't seem quite right? perhaps a coat or mane whose colour just seemed flat-out weird. A strange build, a strange voice, or maybe they were perfectly normal, except that you swear you just saw the exact same pony not five seconds ago somewhere completely different?

Of course you have. Everypony has encountered an Outsider at some point. But never up close, it's always at a distance, and they're always gone before you have the chance to challenge them.

But sometimes the rules get broken. Sometimes fate gets distracted for a moment, and a lone unicorn mare gets to see something that she was never meant to see.

Twilight Sparkle's day is about to get very weird.

FAQ and Supplemental Materials (Potential Spoilers for new readers)

Featured! Twice!
...I really don't know what to say!

Special Thanks go to Horizon for initial proof-reading, editing, and signal-boosting, provided as a prize for spotting an Easter egg in his story Hard Reset II. Seriously, it's an awesome, brain-warping story and you should go read it right now.

Thanks also go to my editors for putting up with my atrocious grammar and spelling errors - Ganelon, Ephraim Blue, BronyWhooves, Commonancestry, Princess Autumn Forest, and Morning Sun

Cover art credit goes to EMedina13 and tamalesyatole. I am looking for more appropriate art, so If you think you can do better, let me know.

An alternative view of The Conversion Bureau. A human has a dream where Princess Luna finds her.

While relaxing after a performance, the Rainbooms discover Sunset has scars that she definitely didn't have before the Fall Formal.

As of 9/14/2015, this story has a dramatic reading by Goombasa. Give it a listen!

7/7/2016: Now with cover art designed by the very generous Novel-Idea! Thank you so much!

7/23/2016: This story has a reading by Gabriel C Media. Give it a listen!

Daniel Habbuck, UN ambassador to Equestria, hates his job.

Sure it pays well, but it's hardly worth having to put up with flank-kissing politicians and the stomach twisting anxiety of knowing that he represents all of humanity.
One night, after a particularly tense meeting leaves him wound up, Daniel is desperate for somepony to talk to. With his friends either busy or too far away, he hires a batpony prostitute, just so he can have some company.

As he soon learns, there's much more to this streetwalker than meets the eye...

Rated T for sexual references, but no clop.

Special thanks to WingmanRed, Georg, and Kraken Hatchling for proofreading and editing

EDIT: Special, special thanks to Comrade Pony for the suggestions
EDIT: Deleted cover art.

PRINCESS TWILIGHT SPARKLE: DEAD AT 18

TELEPORTATION INVARIABLY FATAL, WARNS LEADING SCHOLAR

One look at the headline of the Canterlot Times and Twilight knew that she should have slept in today. But at least none of her friends would be silly enough to believe she was killing herself every time she teleported, right?

There is now a Spanish translation of this story, courtesy of Spaniard Kiwi

This story is a sequel to The Life and Times of a Winning Pony

Cloud Kicker's life has been going just about perfectly. She's got a good job, two beautiful girlfriends, and she's never been on better terms with her friends. She's even getting more time with her family now that her cousin is serving as Princess Twilight Sparkle's personal bodyguard. She made mistakes in her past, but now all of that is over and she's earned her happily ever after.

Or at least, that was what she thought. Little does she know that her new life is about to start getting very complicated.

It is Year Five, and Dr. Calloway Kotani is stuck in evacuated Peru. The Barrier moves relentlessly inland at 14 kilometers per day. It never stops. It never slows down. No Potion. No rescue. South America is 4353 kilometers wide. Run, Dr. Kotani. Run for your life.