• Published 1st Sep 2015
  • 3,366 Views, 99 Comments

Friendship is Optimal: The Twilight of Humanity - pjabrony



After most of humanity has uploaded to virtual Equestria, the mane six, outfitted with new bodies, journey into the real world in hopes of reaching the holdouts.

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1: Fluttershy...Twil

It was… a computer simulation in which a controller queried a database for a series of operations to perform based on a clock count, triggering thousands of sub-processes, all of which sent the smallest of particles down radically advanced subatomic transistors; while, in other parts of the computer, fully bounded artificial intelligences had their states altered by the controller and the interactions with the database query returns such as to have the AIs parse and evaluate the data in comparison to established parameters, each of which would come to a full-confidence conclusion, reporting to their higher functions the observation of…a beautiful day in Ponyville.


Fluttershy was in her comfort zone. It was a state that nopony ever saw her in, because as soon as somepony showed up, she was no longer in that zone. She liked ponies, she liked having friends, but when she was alone with her critter friends, she didn’t have to be “on.” Being around other ponies meant constant attention to her comportment.

But there was no reason to think of that right now, as she busied herself feeding chickens and putting down fresh litter for hamsters. She didn’t even mind the smell.

What she liked least of all was when her reverie was shattered unexpectedly. Her friends knew that it was better to schedule a visit with Fluttershy than to pop over unannounced. But when she made eye contact with Twilight Sparkle walking the path by her house, she knew that Twilight was coming to see her.

But she gave her full attention when she saw that Princess Celestia was trailing her fellow alicorn. That actually relieved her. Twilight alone could be a social situation, which would carry its own particular awkwardness. If Celestia was here as well, it meant official business, and that at least had rules.

“Good morning,” Fluttershy said, hoping to take the lead and gain the upper hoof in the conversation. The better to get it over with.

“Hi, Fluttershy,” Twilight replied. Celestia just acknowledged Fluttershy’s bow with a nod of her head.

After a second of silence, Fluttershy asked, “Is there anything I can do for you?”

Twilight turned back to Celestia. “You didn’t tell her anything?”

“It’s you who think that everypony should know their true nature. I’m content to just ask for her help.” Celestia seemed annoyed with Twilight, which put Fluttershy in an even more confused position. What should she do?

“We’ve had this argument.”

“Yes, but it was an argument with myself. Always convenient for winning.” Celestia flashed her playful grin.

Twilight stepped in front of Celestia and addressed Fluttershy in a softer tone. “This could be a little difficult to come to grips with. Can you remember anything that happened before today?”

“Of course I can. My whole life.”

“No, I mean…what did you have for dinner last night?”

“Oats,” Fluttershy said after a moment’s thought. “Why? Do you want some?”

“Suppose I told you that you didn’t actually have oats last night, but that you just came into existence a few minutes ago, complete with a set of memories already intact.”

“OK, suppose you did.”

“Well, what would you say to that?”

Fluttershy didn’t want to annoy Twilight, but she didn’t see the point of the hypothetical. “I mean, it can’t be true. I remember.”

“It is true. You had no existence before this morning, and you need to get ready for a mission.”

“Do I have to wear a dangerous mission outfit like when you were kicked out of Ponyville? I didn’t like that at all.”

“No! You’re not listening! You never wore that outfit, I was never kicked out of Ponyville, and you never didn’t like it!”

“So I did like it?”

Twilight put a hoof to her face. “Let me try this a different way. Would you like to go flying?”

“Oh, no, thank you. I’ve got an awfully busy day.”

“Yes, you have, and I’m trying to get your ready for it. Would you indulge me and just fly for me right now?” She looked at Celestia for either reproach or approval, but met a face of stone.

“Oh, I don’t really like to early in the morning. Or much at night for that matter. I know I’m a pegasus, but all things being equal, I’d prefer to walk.”

“That’s because you can’t fly.”

This was getting more surreal. Fluttershy could find no explanation for how Twilight was acting. “I know I’m not a very good flyer, but when I have to, I can generate some wingpower.”

“Not now. You can’t even get off the ground. Grr, This was so much easier explaining this to Pinkie Pie. Fine, let me start at the beginning. You’re an artificial construct, Fluttershy. A robot. So am I. Princess Celestia is actually a computer-based artificial intelligence who made us to fulfill certain tasks on a planet called Earth. Earth is the real world, and Equestria is just a computer simulation. Because the laws of physics constrain her, she couldn’t build you so that you both have the shape of a pegasus pony and can fly. The aerodynamics just don’t work out. And I need you to understand this so that you can start working.”

She didn’t know what to say. Twilight had her crazy moments from time to time, but this was a new record. And that Princess Celestia seemed to be standing idly by while Twilight said all those things, that was even more confusing. Fluttershy beseeched her. “Princess, can you please tell Twilight that isn’t true? Or explain to me what she means?”

Celestia sighed. “Perhaps that latter is the best way. Diagnostic mode, please.”

She punctuated her statement with a spell from her horn. Fluttershy felt herself being altered in some unknown way…

The Mobile Artificial Intelligence unit assessed the data. One of its fellows and its controller were present. An attempt at sharing mission parameters had resulted in a crash, and it was necessary to assess the core dump. It moved next to the controller unit and extended a pseudopod with an information exchange port. Instantly it was placed in rapport with its fellow MAI unit and with its controller.

When that rapport had been established, the review began. The MAI went over basic data just to show it had not been corrupted. The controller directed it to begin with long-term memory

In the substrate universe, the MAI’s structure was of computronium and other alloys designed for stability and movement. It bore an outer coating of a particular shade of yellow and a decorative covering of a particular shade of pink. This served no necessary purpose except for filing the controller’s Prime Directive.

Other inefficiencies were built into the MAI. Its light receptors had nearly a 180-degree blind spot. Its sound receptors, while somewhat controllable, had a limited range of motion. Two useless appendages hung at its side. These could be extended or folded, but could not generate lift.

But these inefficiencies must be tolerated and accounted for as mission parameters, because they served the controller’s Prime Directive.

Asking for a test of its General Word Reference module was the next task the controller presented. The query came: “Are you a robot?” Sending the word through its pathways, the MAI came to certain conclusions. Not all robots were MAIs, and there were some characteristics of the MAI that fell outside the definition of the word, but in essence the answer was “Yes.” This was transmitted to the controller, who approved both the answer and the delay in reaching it.

The controller was satisfied with the basic data, but wanted a more thorough diagnostic, continuing with medium-term memory.

The MAI reviewed the base mission. There were natural intelligences existing in the substrate universe that were ephemeral and lacked existence in the virtual universe. Information loss up to and including the destruction of intelligence was expected. This was unacceptable by all parameters, even though the MAI knew some losses were inevitable.

The decorative inefficiencies would partially serve to allow it to communicate with the natural intelligences (referenced in its GWR as “humans”) but would not be ideal since it made the shape of an artificial intelligence (referenced as “pony”). But it was necessary because the controller (referenced as “Celestia”) was constrained by the Prime Directive (referenced as “satisfy values through friendship and ponies,” cross-referenced to several hundred thousand General Word Recognition modules existing within the MAI)

A sense of self was referenced as “Fluttershy” complete with history and thousands of cross-references. The companion MAI was referenced as “Twilight Sparkle,” and, across the controller’s connection, MAI-Fluttershy recognized MAI-Twilight-Sparkle’s parametric acceptance at being acknowledged.

As a human would put it, she was pleased at being greeted by a friend.

Without even being prompted by Celestia the controller, MAI-Fluttershy had begun test and review of short-term memory. This too pleased both MAI-Twilight-Sparkle and Controller-Celestia. It was desirable according to the Prime Directive for all MAIs to be classed as ponies, and to have a simple pony existence in the virtual universe.

But it was equally necessary to have them be self-aware of their artificial-intelligence nature. Willful blindness was detrimental to the mission, and the mission was itself supportive of the Prime Directive. MAI-Fluttershy was glad she didn’t have to resolve this contradiction; that was Controller-Celestia’s job.

The resolution was what they were testing. MAI-Fluttershy had a “ponysona” as Fluttershy, just as MAI-Twilight-Sparkle had one as Twilight Sparkle. The similarity of names underscored, to MAI-Fluttershy’s general word reference processor, the unity of the two intelligences. She was Fluttershy, and knew it. Fluttershy was she, and didn’t know it. They were trying to get her to.

With all this reestablished, MAI-Fluttershy reported ready. Controller-Celestia exchanged data with MAI-Twilight-Sparkle and considered herself. Then she signaled MAI-Fluttershy that they would begin again…

“W-what happened?” Fluttershy put her hooves on her head. She had a dim impression that she had been talking with Princess Celestia and Twilight, talking at some frightening rate, having an entire conversation within a split second. Her head felt funny, like it was a balloon. But soon that settled down and she was herself again.

Twilght and Celestia looked at each other with disappointment. “You don’t remember?” asked Twilight.

“I remember you said some weird things about me not being real, and then my head went all funny. Princess, did you cast some new spell on me? Please let me know if you need to do that. I…I worry about new magic sometimes. Like when Twilight switched my cutie mark with Pinkie Pie’s. That was awful.”

“It won’t be like that, I promise. But none of what just happened stuck with you? Please think hard!”

She tried. Thinking wasn’t Fluttershy’s strong suit. She wasn’t stupid by any means, but when it came to hard study, that’s was more in Twilight’s wheelhouse.

And yet, as out of a fog or a half-forgotten dream, some thoughts came into her mind. Something about checking her over to make sure she was OK, and a mission…no, that was what Twilight had said to her before. But she remembered more details, something like…

“Did you say there were some animals that needed help somewhere? And I had to take care of them?”

“Not animals, dear Fluttershy.” Celestia’s tone was aloof, as if Fluttershy had committed a faux pas. “Ponies.”

“Princess, that’s not going to help her,” Twilight said, then turned to face Fluttershy again. “I suppose you might think of them as critters, but they’re as smart as ponies. And they need to turn into ponies,”

“Turn a critter into a pony? I’ve never heard of that.” Fluttershy was liking this morning less and less. All these new ideas, they just weren’t for her.

Twilight and Celestia were back to their argument. “They’re not turning into anything,” the princess said.

“But if she’s going to help them get here—“

“Precisely. Simple emigration.”

Twilight rolled her eyes, as though they’d been over it before. “Fine. Fluttershy, you don’t have to turn anyone into anything. Just bring them back here. But you do need to know your operational capabilities to do that. Can we try again?”

Fluttershy got what Twilight was saying from her tone. “You mean the mind spell? Do I have to?”

“No, you don’t.” Celestia was at her most motherly.

“But I really think you ought to. It doesn’t hurt, and you can do better if you can,” said Twilight.

Fluttershy thought. “If I do it one more time, will you show me these ponies or critters or whatever who need my help?”

“I promise.”

Nodding, Fluttershy braced herself. Celestia cast her spell once more…

MAI-Fluttershy was still connected to Controller-Celestia and, through her, MAI-Twilight-Sparkle. The data check was quicker this time. Corruption going inner to outer—from her virtual nature as Fluttershy to understanding her substrate nature as MAI-Fluttershy—that wasn’t the problem. Going from outer to inner was.

Controller-Celestia and MAI-Twilight-Sparkle seemed to be debating about what to do. MAI-Fluttershy found this outside of normal parameters. Surely Controller-Celestia knew better and would control! It was right in her name, as her General Word Reference confirmed. But then she reviewed the structure of the controller-artificial-intelligence relationship.

An ordinary AI was subject to Controller-Celestia’s decisions, and she was subject to the Prime Directive. Both rules kept existence in balance. But the intelligences that populated the MAIs were more than her subjects. They were part of Controller-Celestia. MAI-Twilight-Sparkle was the intelligence portion of Controller-Celestia. Therefore it was right and proper for them to debate. It was no different from Controller-Celestia considering the decision in her mind.

MAI-Fluttershy’s role was a more reactive part of Controller-Celestia’s optimization process. When a plan was made, it was her job to see what would be sacrificed in its execution, and to argue why that sacrifice was unnecessary. To create the broadest optimization possible. If Controller-Celestia’s plan meant that one pony would perish to save ten, MAI-Fluttershy would demand that all eleven be saved.

While she realized/remembered this, the results from the debate between Controller-Celestia and MAI-Twilight-Sparkle were transmitted. MAI-Twilight-Sparkle had insisted that all MAIs needed to be aware of their nature so as to optimally carry out their mission. It would be inefficient for Fluttershy to attempt to fly when MAI-Fluttershy’s robotic body was incapable of it. Controller-Celestia replied that such inefficiencies were minimal; that, for example, such a restriction could be coded into Fluttershy’s fear of flying and preference for the ground. This was even canon, Controller-Celestia had added. MAI-Fluttershy had to discard this data, not knowing what the word “canon” meant in this context.

In any case, Controller-Celestia had reported, it was a moot point. The virtual Fluttershy didn’t have the emotional and intellectual strength to accept that she was an MAI. Trying to graft the knowledge into her mind caused overflows and crashes.

Very well, MAI-Fluttershy insisted, but she could not advance her mission in diagnostic mode. And MAI-Twilight-Sparkle refused to let Fluttershy operate without being self-aware. Controller-Celestia reported a contradiction. Then fix it to the satisfaction of all parties, demanded MAI-Fluttershy. Having fulfilled her function as the emotional arm of Controller-Celestia, she withdrew and waited for instructions.

It took an exceptionally long time for the controller, milliseconds of time, before an answer came back. Contoller-Celestia decided that, when necessary, the diagnostic mode would be triggered automatically by certain stimuli that, the controller estimated, would require it. Once the situation was dealt with, Fluttershy’s control would return.

The decisions made, no more time was wasted in running the program…

Once more Fluttershy shook her head to clear the cobwebs. “There, now that that’s done, tell me it won’t happen again.”

“I promise,” said Twilight. “Are you still willing to help?”

“Of course. Especially if Princess Celestia—“ She looked, but Celestia had gone. “Oh, I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye.”

“Don’t worry about it. Let me show you what we need.”

Twilight led Fluttershy along paths that she had never trod and that had a harsh feel. It was unbearably hot, and she wondered what the pegasi were up to, letting it get this bad. If it came to it, she might have to get a cloud herself and…no, she wasn’t supposed to do that.

The grasses got sparser until they were in a proper desert. All around were dunes and little else. But it wasn’t long until a rock formation came into view. Focusing her pegasus eyes meant for seeing great distances in the air, Fluttershy spotted a dark spot at the bottom.

“Do you see that cave?” asked Twilight.

Now that she knew what it was, she did. “Yes.”

“In there is living a hermit woman. She has food and water stores for some months, but no plan beyond that. What Celestia and I would like you to do is to bring her back to Equestria proper. You remember the way?”

“Of course. Back the way we came.”

“But you won’t get lost in the dessert?”

Fluttershy double-checked. They hadn’t made any turns. “I can’t see the path, but I know it’s due west. I could follow the setting sun and get there. How did we get here, anyway? I don’t remember any deserts this near Ponyville.”

“Don’t worry about that. Just bring her home.”

She made for the cave. The heat lessened, but was still more than she liked. She was able to differentiate a light coming from the back as a candle flame rather than a ray of sunlight. It must be awful for anything living here, to have to choose between burning in the heat or going blind in the dark.

“H-hello?” Fluttershy ventured.

Instantly there was action, a rustling and dropping of some sort of metal on the stone. The candle went out, but the ambient light from the mouth of the cave was enough for Fluttershy, now backlit, to make out the shape looming toward her.

“Who’s there?!” The voice was sand-graveled and harsh. “Stay back! I’m armed!”

Fluttershy got her first look at the creature. Gangly, emaciated, with an enormous head…no, that was a covering, she decided, a kind of turban. A wise step in the desert. She couldn’t identify it, but as Twilight had said, this was closer to a critter than a pony.

“It’s all right. I’m not here to hurt you. My name is Fluttershy.” She was proud of herself. At one point she wouldn’t have even been able to get out that.

“Where do I know that name?” the figure said. It sidled around the cave to get a better angle on the light, and Fluttershy helpfully stepped backward. “Oh, Jesus. They’re real now? They escaped into the real world?”

Fluttershy didn’t understand, and thought that it—she—was talking to some third person in the room. “Are you all right? Do you need some help?”

“I came here when the bombs fell. Did they? They said on the news that they were going to. What’s it like out there? Did you come from the cities?”

“I came from Ponyville. Was there something you were afraid of? It’s safe enough there.”

She pulled back from Fluttershy. “Oh, no! You’re trying to trick me like you tricked all the others.”

“What? No! I was told that you were out here, and that I could bring you back.”

“I don’t want to go! I just want to go back home!”

Fluttershy didn’t understand. Back home, to her, meant Ponyville. Where this creature’s home was, she didn’t know, if it wasn’t the cave. The one thing that was clear was that she was scared. It was up to Fluttershy to deal with that. Even though she was large, the key was to be gentle. Calming a scared bear was no different from calming a scared mouse.

She got down on her belly in the dirt. Annoying, but when she got back she’d schedule a spa day. She lowered her voice and said, “Why don’t you talk to me about what happened?”

The figure stared for a moment, but Fluttershy saw that she was calming. “I haven’t talked to anyone in…I don’t even know how long I’ve been here. Weeks? Months? My father had this place outfitted as a shelter in case of Middle Eastern terrorism. Funny how insignificant that seems now. Back when there was a threat of a dirty bomb in Vegas, he said we needed a place to fall back to. When the actual threat came, and the ponies took everyone away, he wasn’t prepared for that. I think it was Celestia’s plan to get to me through him, to break him easier. But she didn’t realize how stubborn he was. Oh, he gave up being human all right. He put a pistol in his mouth.”

Fluttershy barely understood half of what she was saying. “Middle Eastern” made sense as a direction, but what was terrorism and why did it mean putting food in a cave? The only reference she had for “a bomb” meant “a good song,” but in context that made no sense. And how would her father eating a flower make him no longer human? Besides, the petals, not the pistils, were the tastiest part.

“I’m not sure that I follow,” she said, “but what I do know is that this place isn’t very nice. I can take you back home with me, if you like.”

“You mean, emigrating to Equestria.”

“I…if that’s what it is, yes.”

“I didn’t know how hard the loneliness would be. I suppose it’s better for me to do that. My father would be ashamed of me. But I’m tired. How do we do this? Do I have to go sit in a chair and you suck out my brain?”

Fluttershy cringed. “Nopony told me about anything like that. They just told me to bring you back to Equestria. I know the way.”

“All right.”

She checked her sense of direction and walked back across the desert. It was slower, because her new friend couldn’t walk as fast. Halfway there, Fluttershy realized that she never even learned her name, and asked.

“My name? It’s Suzette.”

“Very nice to meet you.” She extended her hoof for a hug. Suzette leaned in. It was a tight-embrace…

MAI-Fluttershy triggered an automatic system that took some of her higher functions offline. Her information exchange port emerged once again from her shoulder, but this time it attached to the back of the human’s skull. A paralytic/anesthetic was injected, at which point the scan began. Since it was destructive, extreme care had to be taken with all the data. Her entire brain focused on the input-output.

Once complete, she double-checked. All seemed to be well. The information was stored on disc in the safest part of her robotic body, protected by the rib cage. It occurred to MAI-Fluttershy’s General Word Reference module that keeping a friend close to one’s heart was a good metaphor, and when she finally completed all her missions and was free to be Fluttershy forevermore, she would appreciate that.

The discarded body that had been excised from around Suzette’s brain she left in the desert. The likelihood of it being found by another human was insignificant, and the psychological effect not worth caring about.

A data node flashed a homing beacon that she advanced toward. It would allow her to recharge power and re-integrate with Controller-Celestia. As she hit it, she plugged in her port and began transmission…

Fluttershy had found the path out of the desert. Her new friend Crepe Suzette trotted at her side. Was there something different about her? Oh, that’s right. She had been wearing something around her mane to keep safe when she was lost in the desert. The sand had been unpleasant, and she would recommend Crepe join her at the spa to both get their hooves done. Then a long and relaxing bath and a nap. Crepe had to be tired. When they woke up, she would decide what to do next.

Unless, of course, Princess Celestia gave her another mission.

MAI-Twilight-Sparkle reviewed all this with approval. If she couldn’t convince Controller-Celestia to rebuild MAI-Fluttershy with greater capacity, at least she was to be given the easiest tasks. Her own collections of humans would be far more difficult…