//------------------------------// // 23. The Very Best Home for Me // Story: Cross The Amazon // by Chatoyance //------------------------------// ══════════════════════ T H E C O N V E R S I O N B U R E A U : ══════════════════════ CROSS THE AMAZON By Chatoyance Chapter Twenty Three: The Very Best Home for Me "Are those bananas?" Mrs. Wojciehowicz was puzzled by the new Mark on Caraway's flank. "No, heh, no. They are sort of the same shape, I admit." Caraway swiffed his tail, slapping his own hocks. He couldn't help it, it just felt so good. "They're seeds, Missus Wojciehowicz. Caraway seeds. Like my name." "I've never heard of 'Care-a-way'. Is that something from Equestria?" Mrs. Wojciehowicz was very talkative. Inside, she was still an eighty-seven year old widow, lonely and forgotten. Like many of the aged recently Converted, she had not yet fully grasped what her new body represented - that, in pony terms - she was just barely an adult, fresh with youth. "My old Stan would know, if he were still around. Knew everything about everything, that stallion." Caraway noted the unconscious use of 'stallion' instead of 'man'. He was still cataloging and studying the subtle changes to his own brain, and the brains of others. He might have a new life free from fussing about oil and rocks, but there was still a scientist in him. His own recent Conversion had become a source of fascination to him. "It must be now, considering the world, but 'Caraway' was actually native to earth." Most Equestrian things had originally come from earth. Celestia had just improved and updated them. Equestria was Earth 2.0 - that thought made Caraway chuckle. "Mr. Caraway?" The formerly old Mrs. Wojciehowicz wondered if there had been a joke she had missed. She had long ago gotten used to missing a lot of what was going on around her, yet still felt vaguely annoyed about it. "Just a stray, goofy thought. I'm a very silly pony sometimes, pay me no mind. Caraway was a plant that was very popular in ancient times. They used the seeds for medicine and flavoring. There were even myths about it. But it's also similar to my human name. I've been a bit clever with my name, I think, and I suspect my Butt Mark is a seal of approval with..." "PLEASE TAKE YOUR SEATS, EVERYPONY. WE WILL LIFT OFF IN TEN MINUTES. THANK YOU!" "I'm sorry, Mrs. Wojciehowicz... time to take our seats. But thank you for chatting with me, you've been very kind." Caraway the pegasus gave a clumsy little bow and turned to make his way through the crowded pegabus to his seat. "What a nice young stallion." Mrs. Wojciehowicz waddled unnecessarily back to her assigned seat. She was no longer old, or frail, or fat, but it would take her brain some time to finally grasp these facts. For now, in her mind, she was still the elderly widow that no one wanted to deal with. She was grateful for any simple kindness. Caraway made his way back to his seat with Dropspindle. The trip to the toilet on the immense Super Pegabus was thankfully uneventful. Back on the Lady Venice, before they had been dropped off in Port Elizabeth on the tip of the southern Afrizone, Dropspindle had made sure that Caraway was potty trained before they went to Equestria. Potty trained, basic hygiene trained, essential manners for table and social gatherings, and even how to greet the princesses should he meet them. The process of teaching Caraway how to be a pony had seemed to do wonders for Dropspindle. "No... problems?" Dropspindle set her head forward until Caraway remembered to give her a quick nuzzle and grooming in greeting. He was still having trouble with some of the basic Equestrian social behaviors, thus Dropspindle was taking every chance to reinforce them. "'Raise your tail up, high like a flag, and there'll be no need for mop or for rag' - I remember! I did well. You can be proud of me. No mess. Not even on the newly young old mare I met on the way back!" "I wondered what took you so long." Dropspindle scootched closer to the window, to allow Caraway to clumsily arrange himself on the heavily padded flightbench. She used her horn to buckle him down after he had his legs comfortably folded under his body. "Still getting used to this. Thank you." He tested his buckles. He was held snug - if there was any turbulence, he would not end up tossed about the cabin. "Nice old mare, but the lonely type. Still hasn't gotten used to being young again. She even walks like she's old, out of habit. The brain is a curious thing." "What I'm curious about is when this bus is finally going to take off. This is the second time they've called us to buckle in." Dropspindle looked out the window at the flashing lights of the Blackmesh urban assault vehicles surrounding the landing strip. "It's too many humans, Dropspindle. They're all crushing into South Africa. The native population is pretty upset about it. Basically, every human left is trying to come here, and the crowding is terrible. So is the issue of keeping them all fed and watered - the Blackmesh are at their wits end. From what Mrs. Wojciehowicz told me, the problem is that they are spilling past the barriers onto the airfield. Even pegasai need some room to get up to speed - at least for something this big." The Super Pegabus was as enormous as a human airship, though not close to the class represented by the Lady Venice. The entire, pressurized mega-carriage was pulled by thirty-one pegasai, all bottled up in individual pressure suits. Caraway had wanted to get to talk with even one of them - about their job, about their suits, about just being a pegasus with a job - but he hadn't gotten to. They'd been hustled quickly onto the pegabus in part for their own safety. The humans streaming into South Africa from all over the remaining half of the globe were not, by and large, pony-positive people. They were still holding out for an alternative solution, or for a miracle from some god or secret society. They had dragged their feet on getting hooves for so long it had become habit... or doctrine. Some simply could not face making such a momentous choice. Many were opposed, sometimes violently, to Equestria, the Worldgovernment of Man, and ponies all. There had been incidents. There had been atrocities. Everything was rapidly spiraling out of control. Only the courageous men and women of the Blackmesh prevented open rioting and mass slaughter. Outside the flying bus, Dropspindle noticed something happening. Shrieks and crying filled the cabin as Newfoal after Newfoal turned from the windows and buried their heads in the ponies sitting next to them. Dropspindle watched, calmly noting "Looks like the humans breached the fence. They're rushing us. The Blackmesh are doing their best, but I think there's too many for them." Calloway shuddered and found himself glad that he couldn't see out the window. He noted that inside himself, remade and renewed, he was definitely in the 'hide your eyes' contingent. He forced himself, out of stubborn pride, to remain with head upright and not buried in Dropspindle's fur. "T-the Blackmesh are the best the world has. H-has ever had. They'll think of something." "BUCKLE UP PONIES! EMERGENCY TAKE OFF IN FIVE, FOUR, THREE..." The large team sent every erg of thaumatic force they could through their harnesses and by way of them, into the pegabus as a whole. Caraway felt a ripple of force run through him, which made him shiver with something not unlike delight. Magic felt good, somehow. The Super Pegabus, all three levels of it, began to move both forward and vertically. The thirty-one suited pegasai coordinated through their wired pressure helmets to pull the bus in such a way as to mostly avoid the screaming, angry humans rushing the field to smash the bus apart with whatever they could find at hand. Several humans landed blows to the rear of the vehicle as it left the tarmac. It sounded like hail on the back of the bus. Louder spanging sounds came as bullets hit the underside of the bus. Many Newfoal passengers, raised on action holos, understood what the sounds meant, and cried or shouted in fear of the bus being shot at. Calloway lifted his head from Dropspindle's barrel and watched the pony attendants searching for holes in the bus - or in the passengers. After some time it was decided that the pegabus was intact and unhulled, and that they would make for near orbit and then Equestria. The thirty-one pulled the strange, pressurized super-carriage higher and higher. In a flash they were through the global smog layer. Equestria was vast, but no longer just a wall. As they flew higher and higher still, the great sphere that intersected the earth began to show its curvature. It looked like a great pearl of a moon, frozen in mid-collision with the smog-shrouded corpse of the world. The sun was setting by the time they passed the last of the noctilucent clouds at seventy-six kilometers high. The hemorrhoid sky ached around them as they passed into darkest blue, traversing into black. Tiny fairy-leaves of frost formed on the edges of the windows, and on the helmets of the pegasai. Still they climbed. "Dropspindle!" "What is it Calloway? Caraway!" The unicorn mare grimaced. "Why did you have to pick such a similar name? I was expecting some sort of crazy, koo-koo Newfoal name. Sorry. What?" "Let me see!" "Huh?" Caraway struggled to try to unbuckle his straps with his teeth. He was having no success. "I have to see! I've never been this high up! Not ever, not even on the Government's creditstick! This is space - or as close to it as I'll ever get. Lemmy see! Please! I've got to see this!" Dropspindle fought with herself, inside. Always obey the rules. Follow directions and everything will be alright. But this was still earth. This was still... "Alright! But be quick about it!" She used all five of her telekinetic fields to unbuckle Caraway. He pushed himself partially upright, half laying across Dropspindle in order to press his muzzle against the window. The sight that greeted him was dazzling. The curve of the earth, gray and shrouded, but with a bluish-purple translucent skin that faded into the black. The blue layer of atmosphere turned brilliant laser red as the curve swept into the remnants of sunset. The equally vast curve of the Great Barrier reflected the earth, the stars and the sunset of the earth, making for a double sunset spread across two worlds. Away from the glaring brilliance of the reflected light, Caraway could see through the Barrier, into Equestria from on high. There, beyond the domain wall that separated two entire universes, he watched the sun rise from Equestrian night. As the sun set on earth, another sun dawned beyond the Great Barrier. When he finally realized he had stopped bothering to breath from the wonder of it all, Caraway took several deep lungfuls and whispered "Thank you." "It's okay. But get back to your bench! Quickly, before somepony comes!" Dropspindle put up with the indignity of Caraway's clumsy hooves as he clambered off of her and back to his previous position. She got the last of the straps buckled down as one of the attendants passed by. "Everything alright here?" "Fine, fine!" "Hows... things with you? There? Good?" The attendant puzzled at their sheepish grins, but affirmed that all was well, and that they would be passing through the Barrier into Equestria soon. Dropspindle and Caraway giggled conspiratorially to themselves after she moved on. "Another adventure survived!" Caraway was beyond glad. He had always wanted to see space, and even if it was only just the bare edge, he had still seen stars, shining in the black. "Does Equestria... does home..." It was still very strange to think of the alien universe as such "... have, well, space?" Dropspindle had to think a moment, to recall how strange and different Caraway's universe was from her own. "Not... not like you mean. I think. This side... the stars are... suns, right? Only very far away. And it all just goes on forever, right?" Caraway nodded. "Yes. As far as we know. Well, not forever. Maybe. Maybe forever." "Then no. Not like that." Dropspindle looked out at where earth's atmosphere met vacuum. "Nothing at all like that." She shuddered. The emptiness of it all, the vast, vacant black horror of what the stars meant here ate at her soul. It was terrifying. "In Equestria, the stars are living beings. Luna made them, and they play on the dome of the sky. Sometimes they put on shows, I assume at her command. They aren't like those..." She nodded with her head out the window. "... not tiny and scary and far away. Our stars - your stars - are friendly, and close, and bright. They even helped our princess, once. Maybe many times - history wasn't my best subject." Caraway sighed. "The stars I am going to sound wonderful... but..." He glanced at the window by Dropspindle. "...the stars we leave are scary, yes, and far away - very far, very, very far. But they are also beacons of mystery and awe, sparkling in the night. I will always miss them. Can't help it really. Too much sci-fi, I guess." "Sigh-fye?" "Science fiction. Slang term for it. Too much space ships and aliens from other worlds." Caraway began to laugh. "What?" Dropspindle was baffled at the stallion's sudden switch from melancholy to laughter. "You know, it never hit me, truly hit me, until this moment. I can't believe it, but it never really hit me!" "What? I don't understand!" Calloway leaned his muzzle close to Dropspindle. "I used to watch these shows, right? Had space captains meeting strange, alien races from other worlds. Loved those shows with a passion. And here you are!" "I still don't understand." "You're a native. Of Equestria. You were born there. You grew up there." "Yes. Caraway..." "No, hear me out. From my perspective - though I didn't truly, emotionally grasp it until now - from my perspective, well, you are... a strange alien from another world! I got my fantasy, and I didn't even know it at the time!" Dropspindle worked to process the meaning of Caraway's statement. "You were... humans are... strange aliens to us!" Caraway shook his head. "But did you have an entire literature, an entire subculture built up about how cool it would be to meet aliens and be their friends or space battles or..." The latter bit, ravening lasers against impenetrable shields was no longer enjoyable to him. Fighting wasn't fun, now. Ponies would get hurt. "Well, anyway, you don't have sci-fi, do you? But we did. And it was my fantasy - to boldly go where no pony has gone before! To seek out strange new worlds and strange new civilizations! And, well, I did. And here I am." "Caraway?" Dropspindle had noted yet another sweeping change of emotion in the stallion. "Now I am the alien. And I belong to the strange new civilization on the strange new world. I am Spock." This set Caraway laughing again, and while it was merry enough, Dropspindle had no idea what had made him so jolly. "I don't know where I'll go. I suppose we'll all get relocated out in those... Exponential? Exponential Lands. That was it. Exponential Lands. Apparently they're vast, a brave new frontier and all that. Probably have us starting new towns out there. Settlers. The Oregon Trail, only without all the dysentery. I hope, anyway." Caraway turned from the earthpony mare who had been chatting him up across the aisle. "Dropspindle? There's no dysentery in Equestria, right?" Dropspindle, who had been trying very hard to Not Listen One Bit, startled and tried equally hard to Not Give Away That She Had. "Uhh... Oh? What was that again?" "Dysentery. Doesn't exist in Equestria, right?" Dropspindle had never heard of that pastry before. "I don't think so. But surely somepony might remember the recipe. You could probably learn to make it, if you tried." Caraway, the mare, and several other Newfoals who had been listening in, all laughed for a long time. "Oh! Good Luna, I hope not!" "That's one recipe I hope nopony remembers!" A large light-orange unicorn stallion on the bench to the fore laughed heartily. "What did I say?" Dropspindle felt strangely alienated, despite being entirely among ponies. They all knew and shared so much in common that she knew nothing about. For the first time in her life, she felt like somehow, impossibly, she was a stranger among her own kind. Caraway nuzzled her. "It's a disease. Earth disease. Really bad. Humans died from it a lot when they settled newly conquered lands." His ears dropped. Every time he talked about earth, it really did seem to have something bad or cruel in it. He wouldn't have thought twice about such things, before. "Oh. I see. I thought it was a cake or something." Dropspindle's ears were low too, and she seemed to be shrinking inside herself, away from all the ponies around her. Even Caraway. "It'll be okay, soon, Dropspindle." Caraway stroked her withers with a hoof. "We'll pass through the Barrier in just a few minutes. And then we'll land, and we'll all get shipped off somewhere. You'll be home, with ponies you know, probably by the end of the day. No more Newfoals saying weird things... or reminding you of... back there. Give it time. It'll all be just a bad dream that happened a long time ago. You'll see." "No! It won't!" Dropspindle's ears were flat now, and her pupils small. "What we've been through... that's never going to go away. Maybe you're right that I'll feel better someday, but... I've seen things, done things... who can I ever talk to about any of this? Ever? I'll be alone! I'm not the same, I'll never completely fit in, not ever again! How can I? And I need to talk, I need to be able to talk about these experiences, but..." Dropspindle turned her head and stared at her own hooves. "Well, then, let's talk. You have me at least until we land and disembark." Caraway groomed Dropspindle's mane just as she had taught him. He nibbled at the hairs along her withers with a gentle and massaging chewing motion. "I know I put you through a lot, and I truly appreciate that you risked your life - and your sanity - to rescue me. I am always willing to be there for you. Always. Well - as long as they'll let me, of course." Newfoals had to be shipped out and resettled in the Exponential Lands. There was simply no other option. Before Equestria's collision with earthly spacetime, it was a relatively tiny, pocket universe. The entire, collective, native pony population was not more than two hundred thousand. Dragons added only ten thousand more. Griffons were an undetermined number, but it was known to be not large. They did not reproduce often, or in large clutches. The best estimate was around two thousand Griffons. All of the original Equestrian spacetime could fit within a region barely the size of the earth-moon system itself. Now, after processing terrestrial space, time, matter and energy, Equestria could be measured in light years. One guess made by the Worldgovernment scientific research committee on Equestria had placed the new Equestria at about a parsec in diameter. No one earthside knew the truth, of course, but it was probably not a bad estimate. It was looking as if somewhere between ten and twelve of the earth's nineteen billion would ultimately be rescued from the demise of the planet. Just barely in time, with only three generations left before the total failure of the biosphere. Before there was no more oxygen in the atmosphere left to breathe. Before the planet finished dying. Equestria had almost arrived too late. Any later and there would have been no need for Bureaus at all. But ten to twelve billion was an unthinkable population to Equestria - and it had quickly become apparent that Celestia had not been prepared for such a vast herd of humans. Without the sudden appearance of the miraculous and ever-increasing expansion of the Exponential Lands, there would literally have been no room aboard lifeboat Equestria for the teeming hordes of humanity. Somehow, the princesses had made space. Possibly literally. "Maybe... maybe you don't have to... go. To the Exponentials. If you don't want to, of course. Maybe you do. They say it's quite an adventure, to found your own village." Dropspindle barely whispered the words. "I've had enough of adventures for three lifetimes. I'm not looking forward to being shipped out. I've just been trying to be grateful for my new life. What, is there some special appeals process or something? Can I petition the crown to stay in proper Equestria? What do I have to do, Dropspindle?" Dropspindle was quiet for some time. She glanced out at the stars of horror, the distant suns of earth's universe. They were almost to the Barrier. In moments, friendly stars would replace them. She swallowed. "You... you could stay... with me. There's a provision for... for Newfoals as... family members." "But... you don't... you said you don't even like me. Has that changed? Because I'm a pony now?" Dropspindle shook her head. Then she nodded, slightly. "A little. You're better as a pony. I've enjoyed you... learning how to... be your new self. But, the fact is... well... you're still you. You haven't changed that much. We don't have a lot in common, your sense of humor often offends me. You're not... a bad pony, and you clearly care, deeply, but... somehow... you sort of annoy me." "Then... I don't understand. It sounded like you were proposing back there or something. Unless Equestrian families are different than I think." "No... not entirely. No. Families are families, Equestria or Earth." Dropspindle stared hard at Caraway. The look in her eyes was decidedly, almost disturbingly, Not Pony. "We could register and pretend we were mated. We could get married, and legally you could stay. As long as nopony found out the truth, it would work. You would be a Central Equestrian Citizen by marriage, and not have to go to the Exponentials." She sounded almost feverish. "You could get to see Canterlot - our Capitol! We could visit Manehattan and the Great Salt Lick. You could experience things almost no Newfoal ever gets to see! And... and it would be safe, and secure, and you would be in the very heart of Equestria, right near the princesses and everything interesting! You might even get to meet a dragon! They visit!" "Dropspindle... out with it. What's your game here?" Caraway gave her the side-eye. "Alright. I don't particularly feel attracted to you, I mostly just tolerate you. Sometimes, you're fun. And you worked really hard to save me right back, the whole trip. You can be nice, sometimes. But I'm never going to love you, and we're never going to be best friends forever." Dropspindle stared at her hooves intently. Then she raised her head and locked eyes once more. "I need you, Caraway. You're the only other pony I can talk to about any of what we went through! I feel completely alone around ponies now! I felt strange around the pegabus team, and they're all natives! Like me! I felt like I was the stranger, I felt like I was a Newfoal around them!" Caraway laughed. "None of this is the least bit funny! See, that's what I'm talking about!" "Let me get this straight, Dropspindle..." Just then, the pegabus passed through the Great Barrier of Equestria. It happened swiftly, instantly, because of their tremendous speed. The forces of the Barrier flashed along the length of the Super Pegabus and the next moment, tingling, everypony found themselves within another universe entirely. Caraway could feel it in his very bones. Magic. Home. This was the cosmos his body, mind, and soul was constructed for. This was the water that the fish of his existence swam in. Equestria permeated his being. The universe, all of reality, was no longer terrifying, or empty, or cold. "Wow. Just... wow." Caraway wiped his eyes with his pasterns and sniffed. The feeling was overwhelming. He was not alone - around him some Newfoal passengers openly wept. He regained his composure. "Okay. You want to trap me in a loveless marriage, likely for the next three centuries - otherwise it wouldn't look very good to those in charge - so that you can have somepony on tap, at your convenience, to confide in and comfort you when you are feeling freaked out about your time on earth. That's basically the plan, correct?" Dropspindle looked shocked. Horrified. "W-when you put it like that...!" Caraway grinned. "Sure! You got a deal, wifey-wife! I'm all in. Do we need a certificate, or what?" Dropspindle blinked. Several times. "What? I don't... what the broth... huh?" Caraway dropped his full-power grin down to smile levels. "I've done a little reading. I'm not totally ignorant about Equestria. Mostly, but not totally. I definitely looked up our... shall we say... relationship... practices." Dropspindle's eyes widened, and she looked vaguely sick. "Heh, yeah, that. But also the social stuff. I'm a cad, but a cultured one." Caraway grinned fully once more, for a moment. "Look, here's my amendment to this little deal. I know traditional Equestrian families are little herds all their own. You don't do nuclear families very often. So, someday, if I find a mare I fancy, that I truly love, and who loves me back, well, you have to agree that she gets to marry in. You can do the same, of course. Mare or stallion - I never did hear your preference. Actually, it doesn't matter in the least! Especially for us! How about it - you get what you need, I get what I need, and in the end, everypony happy, everypony loved - by somepony or another - and it all works out!" Dropspindle closed her mouth. "I guess... that works..." "Listen, Dropspindle - we're comrades in legs. Arms. Muffin this pony brain of mine. Comrades In Arms. It's an earth thing. Ponies who struggle together develop a bond. It's a bond that goes beyond friendship or love - it's a family bond, of a sort. We have that. We'll always have that, because we kept each other alive when the whole world - two worlds - were against us! This is a very traditional, human thing. And it's okay. It's better than okay. It's a good thing. It's one good thing from my old world, so you can feel glad of it. "I would love to do and see all the things you suggested. Of course I would! But... that's not why I'm willing to do this. It's part of it, don't get me wrong - but it's not the whole reason. I do like you, even if that will never be reciprocated. But most of all, I share what you feel. I feel the same way. Who in parfait would I be able to talk to about our experiences either? Most humans don't go through what we have, so even other Newfoals would just goggle at me! We're comrades in arms, and that makes us friends. Sort of. Come on - we're friends, of a sort, admit it!" Dropspindle could not suppress the smile. It took command of her muzzle despite her best effort to suppress it. "Yeah... I guess. Of a sort." "Well, then, pally-pal, dearest chum, buddy of buddies..." "Don't push it, Newfoal." Caraway chuckled. "You really have gone human, haven't you?" Dropspindle instantly deflated. "Hey - I didn't mean it that way. I was just joking back at you.... oh, hey, come here. Come on. I'm sorry." Caraway embraced Dropspindle. Interestingly, she reciprocated. "We'll get hitched, and we'll make it work. We'll find partners we love and who love us in return. We'll live in Equestria proper, and we'll be there for each other, when we get blue about... ancient troubles. One big family. And who knows, maybe you'll even make a decent pony you can like outta me. Stranger things have happened!" Dropspindle laughed at that. "Yeah. Much stranger." Caraway looked out at what he could see through the window. The sky was a different shade from earth, almost a teal color. It was relentlessly clean and pure. The clouds were different - more swirly than lumpen. The sun here didn't hurt his eyes. It was an entirely new universe to explore. And three hundred years to learn, and grow, and love and be loved within. "Caraway?" "Yeah?" "Maybe I do like you. A little." "A little is enough." The End The Lost In The Herd Series: One: The Big Respawn, Two: Euphrosyne Unchained, Three: Letters From Home, Four: Teacup, Down On The Farm The Conversion Bureau Novels: 27 Ounces: A story of eight and one half ponies The Taste Of Grass The Conversion Bureau: Code Majeste The Conversion Bureau: The 800 Year Promise The Conversion Bureau: Going Pony The Reasonably Adamant Down With Celestia Newfoal Society! Recombinant 63: A Conversion Bureau Story HUMAN in Equestria: A Conversion Bureau Story The PER: Michelson and Morely Little Blue Cat Cross The Amazon Adrift Off Fiddler's Green: The Final Conversion Bureau Story The Short Stories: Her Last Possession The Conversion Bureau: PER Equitum The Conversion Bureau: Brand New Universe Tales Of Los Pegasus The Poly Little Pony The very first and original Conversion Bureau Group archives only the best Three Rules Compatible stories! Optimalverse Works: Friendship Is Optimal: Caelum Est Conterrens Leftovers: A Friendship Is Optimal Story IMPLACABLE My Life In Fimbria Injectorverse Works: I.D. - That Indestructible Something The More Conventional Fanfics: The Ice Cream Pony Summer Around The Bend PRIDE related works: Transspecieality My FREE music streaming service! Rare, personally chosen anime, SF and fantasy television, movies, and comedy music. A truly unusual collection to listen to, featuring Spot Announcer Dr. Sandi!