Gods can be real dicks. That is the one thought that has echoed throughout my head since I arrived here. Don't worry about my name as I'm sure you will find out soon enough. Being only one of thirteen males on the entire planet kind of has that effect. What? Only one of thirteen you ask? Well yes that is what I just said after all. Basically it all boils down to someone making someone mad so someone, The second someone, placed a curse on the planet that is slowly killing off the worlds population. And guess whose job it is to figure out how to lift the curse? Not mine actually, but I've decided to make it mine anyways. If you would like to find out more about me and the quest that I have taken all you have to do is ask, but be warned, the tale I have to tell is quite...unusual.

A/N: Sex tag is for implication of said activity.

Update: New chapters will be arriving soon, I have just been busy as of late. So keep an eye out over the next week or so.

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to the show My Little Pony Friendship is Magic or its characters.

"We wear the mask that grins and lies, It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes."
— Paul Laurence Dunbar

It started as a normal Equestrian morning, but doesn't it always? The princesses are frightened, and in Ponyville, a creature from a forgotten race walks into town. His kind hasn't been seen in over a thousand years, but even then he's still far from what he appears to be.

Arc 1: The First Day

Author's Note: Hey guys! This is my first story, so constructive criticism is more than welcome. I'll take this moment to say that I own nothing but my main character, the plot, and a few surprises which will appear later. All other characters and linked music are NOT mine. A word on music. At times I might offer two links to a song. The first is the OFFICIAL version, the second is the closest approximation to how I feel it is sung in the story. Just warning you, because I know some people hate covers. This story is rated teen for occasional language, implied sex, and gruesome imagery (mostly late in the story and in flashbacks). Now with technical out of the way, I wish you all happy reading, and I hope you have fun.

Edit: Bug the writer! He writes faster when you do.

Hey, I lived a rather normal life here on Earth. Had a decent job and a nice apartment. But that all changed when a mysterious biker babe offered me the trip of a lifetime. I took the chance and it turned out said biker babe was in fact an horse-like alien from another world and the trip she mentioned actually had less to do with exploring America and more to do with exploring the universe.

Just what the hell have I gotten myself into?

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Be forewarned this story is indeed a self-insert, but the me in the story is from an alternate Earth where MLP:FiM doesn't exist.

Special thanks to JowyBean and TheArtrix for the cover arts.
Thanks to Willow the Pegasus for Pre-reading and helping me with editing.
This is 100% Approved by Twilight's Library!

Pinkie Pie misses Twilight, even after over two years. But she finds out the portal is open and goes in. Let's hope she doesn't get into trouble.

Thanks to http://tixolseyerk.deviantart.com/ for letting me use the cover image.

Mike Patterson is a world renown rock climber whose life's goal is to climb to the top of Mt. Everest what happens when at the end of his climb there is an explosion that sends him to a new world and in this new world is populated by strange creatures with the ability to use magic, control the weather, and fly. Not to mention the size of their breast.
*Anthropomorphic Ponies*

During a large scale battle. Kassadin turns against his fellow members of the void. In an attempt to help stop the void from infecting everything living he is cornered inside the confinements of a small palace. During his final stand-off, he is defeated. However only temporarily, for when he regains his strength, he finds himself in a new land. Now he is faced with a new choice. Should he stay to defend this new land and it's inhabitants, or conquer the land for personal gain.

My name is Simon "Ghost" Riley. I was part of Task Force 141, an elite group of soldiers composed of the best of the best. Our mission was to take down Makarov, the mastermind of Russian invasion of America. The team consistered of myself, Roach, Ozone, and Scarecrow with sniper support from Archer and Toad. We didn't find Makarov, but we did find a jackpot of information. On our way to the landing zone, Ozone and Scarecrow were killed by mortar fire while me and Roach managed to survive. I dragged him all the way to the LZ but fate had other plans in store for us, specifically death at the hands of our own commanding officer. Shot point-blank, the shock and blood loss made my vision blur as everything went dark. I couldn't feel my body or when I hit the ground, but I could smell the scent of something before flames engulfed the world. I tried to resist Death's offer, but in the end, I gave in. I welcomed his embrace, hoping that I'd finally find peace.

Instead, here I am, alive and kicking in a world full of bloody ponies.

Sam Gideon was thought to be dead. Killed in the explosion of the Providence colony after defeating Victor Zaitsev, the leader of the Order of the Russian Star. That's what everyone thought anyway...

So yeah, this is a Vanquish/MLP mix. If you haven't played Vanquish, I suggest you go and pick it up. It's very cheap these days and is an amazing third person sci fi shooter. If you're into third person shooters, you'll love it. Anyway, enjoy!

Due to a rather unfortunate stroke of bad luck, a Blacklight Agent by the codename of "Deadman" has managed to get dumped into Equestria, with nothing to guide him but his training and what he learned in the field fighting The Order and SIVs in this new land.

Can he accept that this land is not in need of a remorseless killing machine like home was? Can the ponies accept a warrior soaked in the blood of nations as a person, and not just another monster in their land of black and white?

Perhaps only time will tell.

Knowledge of the universe is not required, and the story is currently undergoing editing in some of the chapters to correct my past mistakes.

Equestria is dying. A one in a lifetime quirk of astrological dimensional convergence has caused a unique fusion between Equestria and a world called Earth. With it will come the birth of a massive superplanet. But ponies will not survive the process. A proposal for the salvation of ponies has been put into effect. But can Equestrian society deal with the losses that come with salvation?

Only the Conversion Bureau holds the ultimate answer to that question.