//------------------------------// // 0 // Story: The Masks We Wear // by JourneymanChronicler //------------------------------// I write these words not for the benefit of my memory, but for the preservation of my sanity. 0 She felt at peace in the familiar embrace of her night. Despite all that had changed in her absence it had remained the same. The air was cool, the cicadas called in the summer, the waking world rested, and the nocturnal creatures roamed. It had always felt calming to her, and that was one reason why it had hurt to see her citizens shun her realm. They had only seen it as a blackness that hid dangers within in its embrace. When she and her sister ascended to the throne, she had forgotten the fear all creatures of the day had of the dark. The Nightmare had made her remember. All those years trapped within herself gave her a renewed fear of an empty darkness. It reminded her of what could be waiting in the dark for its chance to strike. She had been such a fool to let that happen. In a way, it may have been her fault for letting her sorrow drag her down into whatever abyss that monster had come from. She had kept the majority of her depression hidden from her sister, not wishing to burden her with the trouble. Then, one dusk something latched onto her sorrow and wormed its way into her mind. Everything after that was like experiencing life through another's eyes. Her voice told Celestia that she would not lower the moon, but it was not her that willed it to do so. Her magic had changed her form, but she had not wanted it to. Many believed the Nightmare to have been an extension herself, and while it was true the Nightmare was feeding off her desires, it had twisted and perverted them in the process. All she really wanted was her citizens to love the night as she did. To love her realm as they did her sister's day. The Nightmare wanted to rule and oppress. It wanted to turn her beautiful night into the very thing everypony already feared. The Nightmare would have been the death of her night just as it had almost been the death of her. Nightmare. Its name was far too accurate, especially for her. She was aware while it had taken her. She had seen flashes of what it was doing. Watched as it had ended the lives of those that had stood in its way. She had cried as it fought her sister. A few of those cries were her begging Celestia to end it all. She refused to be a monster and would not live as one. It had been the only time that she wanted to die. Luna had never asked if Celestia had heard those cries, it wasn't a topic either wanted to discuss, but Luna suspected she had because the louder she shouted the more Celestia yelled for her to fight. She tried. The monster's power was immense and fed off her own adding to its strength. She fought with every ounce of her soul through the haze and madness, trying to give her sister time to do something. They fought the monster, her from within and Celestia from without, and they had been losing. Luna remembered looking down at Celestia through that thing's eyes. Celestia was beaten and broken. One wing was mangled, her coat was covered in cuts and bruises, and her pink mane had been torn from her scalp in places. The Nightmare readied to end her sister's life, and Luna was going to be forced to watch. Her spirit was exhausted, and it felt that if she let go she would fade into oblivion. Her mind sparked as an idea came to her. Letting go was exactly what she had to do. Not debating her decision, she let go, not of her life, but of her elements: loyalty, generosity, and honesty. They disconnected from her soul, and she sent them to her sister. Celestia and the Nightmare had both been surprised by this. The Nightmare faltered in its death blow, and Celestia was nearly blinded by the sudden flow of power. She looked into the Nightmare's eyes as her wounds healed and her mane changed from pink to a pastel rainbow of green, blue, and pink. "Luna?" she said, sadness in her eyes. "Do it," the Nightmare said, but it was Luna's voice. Across the monster's enraged features a single tear fell from its eye. "Do what must be done, Tia." Her voice had been one of resignation. Celestia stood her horn glowing with ethereal light. "I will not let this monster take you from me," she said. "I promise I'll save you." She released the magic of harmony, and Luna slept. Her exhaustion and fatigue ate at her soul, so she welcomed the rest. She did not remember much from her time on the moon. The Nightmare had tried to absorb her further while she slept. Whether it was an act of desperation by the weakening creature or just the natural process of its hold on her she did not know. She remembered flashes of the creature's pain and one time a deep despair followed by a torrent of hatred. She did not know what had caused the feeling, but she had done everything to keep it locked away. It was not a memory worth reliving. The first few months back from her exile had been tiring. Her sister had stayed by her side the entire time and tried to act as if it were just like old times. It had only unsettled her, and she feared she would return to her depression. The memories that were from before the Nightmare only served to remind her of what she had lost. Friends that she would never see again. Some far closer than she believed even her sister had known. Habits and traditions that were outdated and forgotten. They showed how behind she had become. How the world had moved on without her. It had every right too, she thought. Change is just a sign of life moving along as it should. It was the first time she had started watching the night again that she felt something different. Ponies were out, and they were looking at her night in wonder. It was bittersweet that in her absence the ponies of Equestria had finally started seeing what she had, but it was still a pleasant surprise for her to find. It had stoked a fire within her that made her adventurous. Soon after that she journeyed to Ponyville to take part in the village's Nightmare Night Celebration. She had been so nervous on that night she kept falling back into habits she had been trying to break. She owed Twilight Sparkle a great debt for helping her through her awkwardness. In the end it proved to be the second crack in the shell she had encased herself in. Her smile returned to her and everything began to feel normal again. She and her sister began to talk more, and she began to keep in touch with all of the Elements of Harmony. She owed them her life, and it made sense that her friendship could be the least she could give them in return. She couldn't believe how happy it was to fall into a satisfying routine again. She would get up every evening and raise her moon. Then she would have breakfast while her sister had dinner. They would talk and, increasingly, laugh with each other until they left for the Night Court. Celestia would retire around eleven and leave her with the last hour of court. One thing that had unfortunately remained the same was the Night Court. It was still as boring and depressing as it had always been. Nobles would drone on about problems of little importance, and commoners would come with problems that were either just as petty or ones she couldn't help with. She was both thankful and annoyed Celestia let the more demanding matters be discussed while she accompanied her. She was grateful because Celestia was better at handling depressing situations. Luna still didn't know how Celestia comforted a distraught filly who had come asking for them to "wake up" her sister. Celestia had sat with the child for almost half an hour, talking quietly with her. By the time the filly left her cheeks were still damp, but a smile had appeared on her face. The annoying part was that after Celestia left for the night all that remained for Luna to handle was the nobles. She often wondered why they had nothing better to do then gripe to her in the middle of the night. If she had to hear Prince Blueblood complain one more time—or his servant complain for him—her lawyer would have to pull off a temporary insanity plea after she turned the stallion into a gelding. Not only would he deserve it, but his prattling kept her from her other more enjoyable duties. When court had the mercy to adjourn, she retreated to her balcony and let herself be lost to her realm. It felt as if she had spread herself over all of Equestria. She couldn't see it, but she could feel it. She sensed tiny disturbances in her night, most of which made her heart sing. This night was beautiful. Her lips curled into a content smile as she checked on one disturbance coming from a young colt camping with his father and grandfather on the Unicorn Range. Dreams were her window into the night. They were how she stayed connected with her subjects and guided them through their troubles. She wished she had taken more pleasure in it before, but it was the Nightmare that had given her a reason to try harder. She vowed that no pony would suffer the tiniest amount of torment like she had. The little pegasus's dream was a calm and blissful journey. He dreamed of flying through the stars. Gliding up to them and having them swirl around his hoof. He watched them spiral into the galaxies he would one day find out they were. Her smile brightened further, and she departed from his dream without him knowing she was ever there. She opened her eyes and gazed out at the land before the city. She was at the west tower and gazed at the indigo of the fading night that contrasted with the warm red of the fast approaching dawn in the east. The moon hung low in the sky waiting for her to put it away. Some called it Luna's moon, but she knew that it was not her possession. It belonged to everypony beneath it, and it was simply her responsibility. The same was true of her sister's sun. Celestia was no doubt on the eastern tower at this moment waiting for the time to bring the day to Equestria. Which would be right... now. A small bell inset into the balcony's railing in front of her dinged. It wasn't necessary for the device to be there to tell her when to do her job, but she knew it helped the council feel the day was more regulated so she didn't argue. Her horn glowed as she gave the moon the push it needed to be ready for her to raise it in the east at dusk. It slipped beneath the horizon in a way that made it look like it melted into the earth below. It was a sight she would never grow tired of. The sky behind her and the castle turned a dazzling red meaning Celestia had finished with her job as well. Luna sighed, her smile still on her face, and turned away from the balcony. Two of her Nightguard stood at attention at her balcony's entrance. They saluted as she walked by, and she bid them good morning. "You may begin the changing of the guard, Captain," she said. The bat-winged pegasus bowed respectfully but remained where he was. She knew they wouldn't change until the time set for them, but she hated having them wait those few minutes in the daylight. I'll have to talk to Celestia about getting the Nightguard some eye protection. She bowed to her guards and made her way into the castle. She and her sister would always meet after they raised and lowered each of their respective celestial bodies and have dinner/breakfast with each other. Today, she felt like making the chef's job easy this morning and having breakfast for dinner. She chuckled. If Five Star doesn't stop making pancakes as well as he does I will have to seriously consider going on a diet. She took one more step, and her laugh died in her throat. Something cold and empty fell over her mind. Her legs buckled and she fell to the floor. "No, not again!" she said, fearing that the Nightmare had found her again. However, she discovered that this feeling was different. The Nightmare had felt like a snake had constricted around her entire body. This felt like the world had been wiped away. It left a hole of complete nothingness. She still felt the floor beneath her and the cold of the stone against her body, but her connection to the world was lost. Even during the day she could still feel part of the world, but now it felt like that connection had been erased. Nothing was blocking it. It was just gone. She trembled. The withdrawal had stolen her breath and left her head swimming with an unbearable delirium. Just as she was about to scream, the feeling left as suddenly as it had come. Luna's eyes snapped opened as she laid on the ground. Her chest rose and fell as she tried to steady her breathing, and her coat had become slick with a cold sweat. "Your majesty!" said one of her Nightguard, concern lacing his usually stoic face. "I'm fine," she said, trying to stand. Both guards helped brace her as she stood on her hooves. Her knees shook and her stomach twisted. She didn't feel like pancakes anymore. "It's passed." "What has passed, Princess?" asked the guard. "You didn't feel it?" she asked. The guard shook his head. "No ma'am," he said, "we thought you had fallen until we felt how cold you were. What did you feel?" "It felt like-" she paused. She didn't really know how to describe the emptiness. It felt like a feeling of nothing. It was a paralyzing numbness that was trying to swallow her soul, or at least drive her mad. Then the words came to her, and she looked up to him. "Like somepony dancing on my grave." She had heard the phrase before, and she doubted that any other feeling could come so close. To an immortal (or something as close as she was) it was an odd phrase to use, but it had felt like her life was being drained from her. The guard seemed to be about to speak to her when a light blue unicorn came running around the corner. "Your Majesty! Your Majesty!" she shouted when she saw the Princess of the Night. "Gentle Touch, what's the matter?" Luna asked, her knees still shaking. The mare looked distraught, and it took her a moment before she could calm herself enough to speak. "Princess Luna, it's- it's your sister!" "Tia!" she exclaimed, forgetting her own discomfort, "What happened?" "She- she collapsed!" "What!" Luna shouted. Did she feel it too? "She had just raised the sun and seemed fine," Gentle Touch said, tears beginning to roll down her cheek. "Then she fell. Her guards told me to find you, and they carried her to her quarters." Luna's heart clenched in her chest as worry turned her blood to ice. Without letting the poor mare say another word, Luna took off down the hall of the castle. Half running and half flying, she dodged guards and pushed past palace servants without offering a word of apology. Her only thought was reaching her sister. She came to a stairway and leaped over the railing avoiding the stairs altogether. She fell a few floors before spreading her wings and glided into the corridor that led to her sister's bedroom. Her hooves had only just touched down as she threw herself into the door. It swung open hard enough to cause the frame to split. "Tia!" she shouted, grinding to a halt in her sister's room. The Princess of the Sun was sitting in a large chair with an ice pack magically held against her head and a fluffy, pink bathrobe covering her alabaster coat. She seemed dazed but otherwise unharmed. "Lulu," she said, with a smile. "I don't think my door deserved that." Luna went up to her sister and embraced her. "Tia, are you alright. Gentle Touch said-" "Luna, calm down. I'm fine," she said, rocking her sister who started crying against her shoulder. "It's just when I felt it, I was so scared," Luna said. Celestia stopped her rocking. "You felt it too?" she asked. Luna nodded, smearing her tears into her sister's bathrobe. "Oh dear, I was hoping I had finally overworked myself." "It- It felt so- so empty," she stuttered. "I thought the Nightmare had come back." Her tears came back again in force, and she pulled herself tighter against her sister. "It's okay, Luna. It wasn't the Nightmare," She paused and looked out her window. "I'm not certain what it was." "I lost my connection with the world. It made me so dizzy," Luna said leaning off her sister. Celestia nodded, "I had just become fully connected with the day. The shock of it all being ripped away so quickly must have made me pass out." "What could do that?" Luna asked following her sister's gaze out the window. "I don't know, Lulu. I just don't know," Celestia said. She didn't look worried, but Luna knew when her sister was hiding her feelings. Celestia was just as terrified as she was and was barely holding it together. "Is it still there?" Luna asked, her voice barely a whisper. It was like she was afraid something would attack if she spoke any louder. "Something is," Celestia said, her voice becoming a whisper as well. "I don't sense anything, but I know something is out there." "What should we do?" Luna asked. "Have everypony in the palace ready to respond to an emergency," Celestia said. "What about the Elements?" Luna asked. Celestia shook her head. "If the ponies hear the Elements were summoned it could cause a panic. I'll have a letter ready for Twilight, but I'll only send it if we need her," she said. "Why?" asked Luna. "Remember, the time travel fiasco," Celestia said. "That was when she warned herself. Imagine how she would react if she got a letter from me." "Good point," Luna said. "Besides, there's a still a chance this could be nothing." "You don't really believe that," Luna said. Celestia frowned, "No, I don't." Luna continued to embraced her for a few moments longer. She stared out the window wondering what could be out there, and what it would do. Her eyes scanned the countryside, a part of her wondering if she would actually see something. Little did she know for that for the briefest moment a flash of reflected light shone from the top of an oak tree on the border of the Everfree Forest. It was so brief that she hadn't noticed it. Even if she had it would have been impossible for her to see what had caused it. She would not know that miles away a strange creature was focusing the lens of a camera on the castle and staring through the viewfinder in a quiet awe.