Rainbow Dash is the perfect girlfriend.

Sunset breaks up with her anyway.

Third place in Oroboro's "Endings" contest. Edited by MrNumbers.

Patreon. Ko-fi. Picture of me looking handsome.

Listen. You've read the title. You've read the short description, and now you're reading the long one. It's not THAT HARD. Sunset Shimmer Breaks Up With Everyone^tm. Okay? In this story, Sunset Shimmer, the Pony, breaks up with everyone. Because that's the thing you need to have in this entry for this contest. That's right, this is for a contest. Alright? Okay? Yeah. I'm writing it like 2 days before the deadline because who gives a toss. I'm not gonna win. Are you? Maybe you are! Maybe you, the potential winner of this contest, is reading this right now going 'hahah this ass, he's never gonna win', and you know what, you'd be right.

But before this story gets rejected because I didn't add the story summary in the description, let me repeat what happens in this damn story:

Sunset Shimmer breaks up with everyone.

Equestria is a thriving space colony inside an asteroid. Here, everypony is provided with everything they need to live a happy*, healthy**, and fulfilling*** life.

*Friendship not included.
**Oxygen not included.
***Terms and conditions may apply.

Cover art by ZettaiDullahan.
Crossover with Oxygen Not Included, although prior knowledge to the game is not needed to enjoy the story.

It is a time when, even with the merger of magic and machines, and despite the rise of social media and new ways to connect, ponies still find it difficult to find understanding and true friendship among the nets.

Life in Canterlot means having to deal with the MegaCorps. Maybe that means working for them. Maybe it means working against them. Maybe it means running a streaming channel and getting donations for flirting with viewers while you play video games.

Sunny Glow is the only one of her friends that has a real job. She probably should have asked those friends exactly what they do for a living, because they've gotten into a lot of trouble.

A commission for Ankaru. Sunny Glow is their character, used with their permission.

I probably could have gotten away with an E rating but I always err on the side of caution. I tried to make the cover art look a little like a sun-faded VHS cover, like I remember from my own youth.

Thank you to all my patreons and readers!

Paul Zagranski is the best negotiator on Earth. He has ended wars and brokered deals between nations. But now, as humans and ponies prepare to seal the greatest trade pact ever between their dimensions, all of humanity is relying on him. We are willing to offer all our technology, our weapons, our science, every book ever written, every song ever sung and every movie ever screened, all of it in order to have what only the ponies can give.

Ear scritches. Also mane brushing and braiding. And nose boops.

God speed, Paul. All of Earth is counting on you.

A can of Pringles goes to Equestria. Spike eats them, and unleashes the a-pop-alypse. Pinkie Pie must save the day.

Neither Nick Land nor Till Lindemann appear in this story, but we think of them happily and always.

This story is a sequel to Princess Celestia Side Swipes a 2001 Dodge Grand Caravan

After being assaulted by a minivan and then surviving a wild night at a bar with Thomas and his crew, Princess Celestia is ready to return home, peace treaties signed and fun had. As an aside, Celestia made a joke with the President of the United States about bringing a couple of these “minivans” home for herself and her sister.

Luna didn’t know what the massive shipping container that came along with Celestia was for, but upon opening it, realized they could have some fun with this…

Fiat-Chrysler would have been a bit more hesitant in sending off two brand new 2018 Chrysler minivans if they knew neither of them knew how to drive.

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Box of Shame 9/7/2019

Unedited, and probably not pre-read, or if it was I didn't listen.

A silly gift for Admiral, a sequel to a commission from him, and inspired by his blog post.

Now translated into Chinese thanks to Nova Twinkle!
Now translated into Spanish thanks to SPANIARD KIWI!

Out for a pleasant walk through the woods, Princess Celestia takes a break from dealing with Earth politics and finds herself exiting next to a long, black road. As it just so happens, a native comes by and hits her with roughly two tons of steel, plastic, and glass.

Luckily, the vehicle's occupant carries lots of napkins and bandages.

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Now translated into Chinese thanks to Nova Twinkle!
Now translated into Spanish thanks to SPANIARD KIWI!

This story is based on true events. Written for my good friend, Admiral Biscuit, as a commission/payment for a set of rear wheel bearing puller heads for a slide hammer. He also pre-read and edited it, because that's how he rolls.

Box of Shame second position 12/25. Bah humbug.

This story is a sequel to Roam-Springa

Roam-springa: a period of self-reflection. At least that’s what Mom calls it. Who has time for that? Especially when Limestone is the one in charge. She doesn’t need a stupid waste of a couple weeks to know where she belongs.

Featured on Equestria Daily.

There’s plenty of gardening work for ponies on Earth. Rich clients would give an arm and leg for the exclusivity of having their landscaping done by pony.

But that’s not the point, as Wysteria well knows.

Now with a reading by No One And Nobody!