//------------------------------// // ajack@alicorn.tech is:important // Story: *Friendship Not Included // by Liquid Truth //------------------------------// Subject: Wrong Name To: Dr. Belle From: Dr. Jack --------------- Dr. Belle, can you change my name in the system, please? It shows Jack as my last name. - Dr. Applejack Physics Engineering Department Alicorn Tech --------------- To: Dr. Jack From: Dr. Belle --------------- No, darling, I can’t. The system requires everypony to have a last name. ~ Dr. Belle Information and Statistics Department Alicorn Tech --------------- To: Dr. Belle From: Dr. Jack --------------- [CENSORED], are you serious? - Dr. Applejack Physics Engineering Department Alicorn Tech --------------- To: Dr. Jack From: Dr. Belle --------------- Language, darling. This is an email. It will forever stay recorded in history once you sent it. ~ Dr. Belle Information and Statistics Department Alicorn Tech --------------- To: Dr. Belle From: Dr. Jack --------------- Ah’m gonna [CENSORED] use any kind o’ [CENSORED] language ah [CENSORED] want, [CENSORED]. - Dr. Applejack Physics Engineering Department Alicorn Tech --------------- To: Dr. Jack From: Dr. Belle --------------- Darling, let me remind you that it’s my job to censor every foul language you sent. Can you please help me make my job easier? Thank you. ~ Dr. Belle Information and Statistics Department Alicorn Tech --------------- To: Dr. Belle From: Dr. Jack --------------- [DELETED CONTENT] - [REDACTED] Physics Engineering Department Alicorn Tech Subject: New Biometrics Blueprint To: Dr. Jack ; view 3 more… From: Dr. Shy --------------- Dear Physics Engineering Department, I’ve enclosed in this email a copy of the required specifications for the new biometric security system Director Invicta has asked for. We ask that the blueprint be finished within a week. If you need any further information, you can ask me through this email or by visiting me directly at my office at the Bioengineering Department. [5 MISSING ATTACHMENTS] Kindly Yours, Dr. Shy Bioengineering Department Alicorn Tech --------------- To: Dr. Shy ; view 3 more… From: Dr. Jack --------------- Flutters, you’re sending us attachments for the spell matrices. This is Arcane Engineering’s job. And isn’t this too [CENSORED] much? I don’t know [CENSORED] about magic hillbillies, but isn’t a week feel too short, even for Twi? - Dr. Applejack Physics Engineering Department Alicorn Tech --------------- To: Dr. Jack ; view 3 more… From: Dr. Shy --------------- I’m so sorry for the inconvenience, it won’t happen again in the future. I’m just forwarding requests from the Director, please don’t be mad at me. I’m so, so sorry for the short notice. [27 MISSING ATTACHMENTS] Kindly Yours, Dr. Shy Bioengineering Department Alicorn Tech Subject: Questionable Spec To: Dr. Sparkle From: Dr. Jack --------------- Twi, I’m sending you the half-finished blueprints for the new biometrics the director asked. I want you to tell me honestly what in the [CENSORED] is this? [2 MISSING ATTACHMENTS] - Dr. Applejack Physics Engineering Department Alicorn Tech --------------- To: Dr. Jack From: Dr. Sparkle --------------- I have a feeling we shouldn’t question the director’s requests, Doctor. - Dr. Sparkle Arcane Engineering Department Alicorn Tech --------------- To: Dr. Sparkle From: Dr. Jack --------------- I’m not questioning it, Twi. You know that I know we can’t really back off since we got employed. I’m just asking you if it is what I think it is. - Dr. Applejack Physics Engineering Department Alicorn Tech --------------- To: Dr. Jack From: Dr. Sparkle --------------- Yes, AJ. It is, indeed, a built-in hoof polish. And before you ask, yes, I know Rarity’s involved in this, and yes, I know she’s doing this just to spite you. I’ll talk to her at lunch. - Dr. Sparkle Arcane Engineering Department Alicorn Tech Subject: Don’t Lie To: Dr. Pie From: Dr. Jack --------------- Pinkie, I know you’re stealing Twilight’s lunch. You could’ve just asked for more in the cafeteria, you know that? My sister will be more than happy to serve double portions. - Dr. Applejack Physics Engineering Department Alicorn Tech --------------- To: Dr. Jack From: Dr. Pie --------------- But the cafeteria doesn’t serve Hayburgers! :,( Dr. Pie ^c^ Metaphysics Department Alicorn Tech --------------- To: Dr. Pie From: Dr. Jack --------------- Alright. I can’t ask Bloom to serve hayburgers, but I know you like apple pies. How does that sound? - Dr. Applejack Physics Engineering Department Alicorn Tech --------------- To: Dr. Jack From: Dr. Pie --------------- Aww, AJ I’m so happy! You don’t need to do that! XOXO :D Dr. Pie ^c^ Metaphysics Department Alicorn Tech Subject: Welcome, New Employee To: All From: Mrs. Inkwell --------------- Attention all Alicorn Tech personnel, We would like to welcome you to our newest members of the family, [REDACTED], Rainbow Dash, Ph.D., and Sunset Shimmer, M.S. [REDACTED] will be leading our upcoming genetics project and has been installed as our new Head of Bioengineering Department. Dr. Dash has been installed in the newly-formed Flight and Aerodynamics Department and will be leading our ongoing arcane propulsion project. Ms. Shimmer has been installed in the Physics Engineering Department. Be sure to offer them our warmest welcome. - Raven Inkwell Personnel Coordinator Alicorn Tech Subject: Hello! To: Ms. Shimmer From: Dr. Jack --------------- Hello, Ms. Shimmer, and welcome to Alicorn Tech Physics Engineering Department! My name’s Dr. Applejack, but you can call me AJ at any time the director isn’t around. I will be the lead engineer for most of Phys. Engineering projects, which means we will be working together often. I hope we can be the best of partners! A little tip around the office: don’t be too formal. Most of us here in Alicorn Tech like to goof around, so being friendly is way more important than being respectful. Especially Dr. Pie at Metaphysics. That being said, the same doesn’t apply in Information and Statistics Department. You should be careful around Dr. Belle. She’s the head of Information and Statistics Department and will test you out every so often. Be cautious. - Dr. Applejack Physics Engineering Department Alicorn Tech --------------- To: Dr. Jack From: Ms. Shimmer --------------- Thank you for the warm welcome, AJ! I’ll make sure to take your advice to heart. - Sunset Shimmer Physics Engineering Department Alicorn Tech Subject: About the new employee To: Dr. Jack From: Dr. Belle --------------- The new mare at Physics Engineering, Ms. Shimmer I think her name is, has been quite apprehensive every time I met her. I can tell she’s being on edge about something. Can you talk to her about it? Or maybe tell her that I’m willing to listen if she has any discomfort in her new workplace. It’s part of the job, after all. Poor dear, she must be really anxious. ~ Dr. Belle Information and Statistics Department Alicorn Tech --------------- To: Dr. Belle From: Dr. Jack --------------- Sure thing, Rares. - Dr. Applejack Physics Engineering Department Alicorn Tech Subject: Call from IaSD To: Ms. Shimmer From: Dr. Jack --------------- Dr. Belle contacted me earlier today telling me that she wanted to meet you. What did you do, Sunset? - Dr. Applejack Physics Engineering Department Alicorn Tech --------------- To: Dr. Jack From: Ms. Shimmer --------------- I didn’t do anything, I swear! Can you tell her that I don’t know what I did wrong? Maybe she’ll understand that I didn’t mean it. Whatever it is, please tell her I’m sorry. - Sunset Shimmer Physics Engineering Department Alicorn Tech --------------- To: Ms. Shimmer From: Dr. Jack --------------- I’m afraid I can’t, Sunny. Good luck. - Dr. Applejack Physics Engineering Department Alicorn Tech Subject: not funny To: Dr. Jack From: Dr. Belle --------------- Messing around a new employee’s head isn’t quite amusing for my taste, per se. Don’t you know how positively terrified she was when she walked through my door thinking she’s in trouble for something she never did? Oh, of course you don’t. You only think about yourself and your spite for something I’m not even to be blamed with. Shame on you, you ruffian. ~ Dr. Belle Information and Statistics Department Alicorn Tech --------------- To: Dr. Belle From: Dr. Jack --------------- Hypocrite. - Dr. Applejack Physics Engineering Department Alicorn Tech --------------- To: Dr. Jack From: Dr. Belle --------------- Scoundrel. ~ Dr. Belle Information and Statistics Department Alicorn Tech --------------- To: Dr. Belle From: Dr. Jack --------------- Attention whore. - Dr. Applejack Physics Engineering Department Alicorn Tech --------------- [234 MISSING REPLIES] --------------- Subject: Shut up To: Dr. Jack ; Dr. Belle From: Mrs. Inkwell --------------- Can you two please put your bickering outside the company’s system? This is not a formal warning but may the moon [CENSORED] me to [CENSORED] and have [CENSORED] me to the sun and back if I can fire you both for being too spiteful and immature. - Raven Inkwell Personnel Coordinator Alicorn Tech Encryption Level: 3 Deleted data successfully retrieved Subject: Dr. Sparkle To: Dr. Belle From: Dr. Jack --------------- So, you finally did it? How does it feel? - Dr. Applejack Physics Engineering Department Alicorn Tech --------------- To: Dr. Jack From: Dr. Belle --------------- You worked on this project too, you know that? ~ Dr. Belle Information and Statistics Department Alicorn Tech --------------- To: Dr. Belle From: Dr. Jack --------------- Yes, and I feel terrible. What I want to know is if you also feel the same. - Dr. Applejack Physics Engineering Department Alicorn Tech --------------- To: Dr. Jack From: Dr. Belle --------------- Who wouldn’t, AJ? ~ Dr. Belle Information and Statistics Department Alicorn Tech --------------- To: Dr. Belle From: Dr. Jack --------------- Wanna go to the bar after work? The drink’s on me. - Dr. Applejack Physics Engineering Department Alicorn Tech --------------- To: Dr. Jack From: Dr. Belle --------------- Your entire bank account will be plunged into oblivion, you know that? ~ Dr. Belle Information and Statistics Department Alicorn Tech --------------- To: Dr. Belle From: Dr. Jack --------------- I don’t care anymore. I just want to forget that any of these ever happened. Not even your bitchy attitude. Let's just forget about all these shits and let ourselves cry over what we once were. - Dr. Applejack Physics Engineering Department Alicorn Tech --------------- To: Dr. Jack From: Dr. Belle --------------- Such cheesiness for an Applejack. The world sure is ending. ~ Dr. Belle Information and Statistics Department Alicorn Tech --------------- To: Dr. Belle From: Dr. Jack --------------- Actually, it is. And before you ask, I'll tell you all about it at the bar. Yes, it has something to do with the director's stupid ambition and what you just did to Twilight. No, there's nothing we can about it. Now help the both of us and delete this conversation. - Dr. Applejack Physics Engineering Department Alicorn Tech