Research Notes - Bioengineering Department
Hatch
Security code: A001
Hypothesis: It is possible to genetically engineer microbiota to transform inorganic materials into combustible hydrocarbon.
We have successfully engineered a species of bacteria capable of transforming plastic polymers into basic hydrocarbons, along with microbiota of several species of bacterium and fungi capable of transforming inorganic materials into soluble pallets high in nutrition. It is therefore theoretically possible to create microbiota capable of turning inorganic materials into combustible hydrocarbons. Along with[DATA CORRUPTED]
Conclusion: It is possible to create complex hydrocarbons from sedimentary rocks through biological processes.
Further research should focus on the scaling and efficiency of the process.
Security code: A001, B213
Hypothesis: The introduction of different gut microbiota to Gallus gallus domesticus will change the host’s diet.
Elizabeth is given the microbiota that eats sandstone and turns it to goop that technically has nutritional value. We hope that she will defecate coal.
Elizabeth seems well after the introduction process. No physiological consequences have been observed after approximately five hours from subject Gallus-1.
Elizabeth has been eating rocks for a few days and finally defecates a slimy lump of rock. It’s not coal. She’s losing weight and is getting weaker.
Subject Gallus-1 expired of malnutrition.
Subject Gallus-2 is given a revised version of the microbiota. No physiological consequences have been observed after approximately seven hours.
Bertha has been eating rocks for a day and defecates a solid lump of rock. Further research has confirmed that it can catch fire. It’s probably coal.
Bertha has been alive for three weeks and has been continuously eating sandstone. Changes in the composition of eggshells subject Gallus-2 produces have been observed and identified as a “rock.” A more technical term can be found in Physics Engineering’s research notes.
Conclusion: Bertha the chicken is now a source of coal.
Further research should focus on maintaining the host’s reproduction system.
Security code: B213
Hypothesis: We can make a rock-chicken.
Bertha’s fur has all fallen off after a few months after we gave her the gut microbiota. I suspect her cells will turn to something more akin to rocks.
Bertha’s eggs are now literal stones. She doesn’t seem to be experiencing distress when laying them.
Bertha’s skin is turning grey. Traces of sedimentary rock can be found on her epidermis.
Bertha died of organ failure.
Conclusion: We cannot make a rock-chicken.
Further research should focus on creating rock-compatible organs.
Security code: B213
Hypothesis: We can make rock-compatible chicken organs.
A batch of lab-grown chicken organs has been created to see if they still work if we turn them into rocks. Nutrition is given from the excretion of what I’ve come to call the ‘rock microbiota.’
Organs have successfully been turned rock-based. They look like rocks and feel like rocks. They’re rocks.
Organs cannot perform any of their functions save for the anus.
Conclusion: We cannot make rock-compatible chicken organs.
Further research should focus on creating a rock-compatible entity, I guess?
Security code: B213, B215
Hypothesis: It is possible to bioengineer a species completely from scratch capable of metabolism of combustible hydrocarbon.
The hypothetical organism will be created with a dermis composed of trace minerals and cells capable of metabolizing hydrocarbons created by the rock microbiota.
Organs will be taken from Bertha’s remains. The rock microbiota from Bertha’s remains will be reused. Subject Gallus-2 will now be dubbed “Bertha” in certain circumstances.
The species, now dubbed subject Cutie-1 (despite the displeasure given by the researcher) has been living for 28 hours without any complications.
Henry can eat rocks and poop out coal better than Bertha.
Subject Cutie-1 was given different minerals to test if the gut microbiota can handle them just as well and still provide nutrition to the subject. Subject Cutie-1 is also now dubbed as “Henry” should Fluttershy get the turn to write the report.
Henry cannot eat igneous rocks.
Subject Cutie-1 expired of intestinal congestion.
Henry tastes like chicken.
Conclusion: An organism has been created capable of digesting sedimentary rocks and excreting combustible hydrocarbon. We also found out that [REDACTED] is insufferably formal and doesn’t understand jokes.
Further research should focus on expanding the variety of minerals capable of being digested by the rock microbiota and teaching Dr. Shy about lab protocols.
Security code: B213, B215
Hypothesis: The new artificial species now called a “hatch” is capable of reproduction.
Subject Cutie-2 has been created with the same configuration as subject Cutie-1.
Carl has been around for a few weeks. Scanning spells show that they can produce eggs.
Subject Cutie-2, also known colloquially as “Carl”, has laid a fertile egg.
Carl is now a father!
Subject Cutie-2 may also be a mother.
Carl is a hermaphrodite.
Conclusion: The artificial species known as the “hatch” is a hermaphrodite capable of reproduction. The researcher known as [REDACTED] is now capable of identifying cute things.
Further research should focus on expanding the variety of minerals capable of being digested by the rock microbiota.
Security code: B213, B215
Hypothesis: A prolonged diet of sedimentary rocks will eventually yield microbiota capable of digesting a wider variety of minerals.
Subject Cutie-2 and its offspring, Cutie-3, are fed sedimentary rocks for approximately a month.
Carl has laid another egg which contains a higher percentage of rocks than eggshells. Jean has also laid an egg, but it contains the usual amount of rocks in its shell.
The egg laid by Subject Cutie-2 bears an offspring, tagged subject Cutie-4, with a skin composed of a thick layer of sedimentary rock. The egg laid by subject Cutie-3 is cracked open and exposed to heat for three minutes to create a culinary delicacy known as an omelet. It tastes just like an omelet.
Carl’s child, Charles, can eat igneous rocks.
Subject Cutie-4 is capable of digesting metal in raw forms. The excretion product is still mainly composed of coal.
Charles ate my scalpel.
Subject Cutie-4, after successfully digesting my stool, has laid an egg with a shell composed mainly of aluminum.
Charles’ offspring, James, is cobalt-blue and smooth. Their skin is composed of a thin yet durable layer of aluminum. They can be used as a musical instrument.
Subject Cutie-5 is terminated after attempting to eat my sister’s favorite coffee table.
Conclusion: Do not eat the director’s coffee table. Also, the hypothesis is true.
Further research is required to figure out a safe way of digesting the director’s table without risk of personnel termination.
Wheezewort
Encryption Level: 3
Security code: A001, B213
Hypothesis: The artificial species dubbed Catcher is capable of metabolizing ambient thermal energy.
A failed attempt at creating an animal capable of surviving by consuming dust yielded an entity seemingly capable of living off of ambient heat. Subject Catcher-22 has been observed to be dropping the temperature of the petri dish enough to prevent microbial growth.
Subject Catcher-22 is put in an insulated room full of oxygen at atmospheric pressure at 303K.
The room dropped 5K after 72 hours. The little guy is still enjoying its life.
The room dropped 10K after 144 hours.
The room was left for an extended period of time. The temperature stops dropping at approximately 213K, at which the subject began stifling itself.
Conclusion: The artificial species dubbed Catcher is capable of absorbing thermal energy to maintain its bodily processes.
Further research should focus on figuring out a way for the species to reproduce.
Security code: B213, B215
Hypothesis: The artificial species now known as the Wheezewort is capable of liquefying gas.
The wheezewort has been observed to be capable of living in a temperature range of approximately 213K - 368K. Carbon dioxide liquefies at 216.6K at atmospheric pressure. It is therefore theoretically possible to liquefy carbon dioxide with the help of subject Catcher-55.
The big wheezewort is put in an insulated room full of carbon dioxide slightly above atmospheric pressure.
The temperature management properties of subject Catcher-55 is observed to be dependent on the local gas’ specific heat capacity.
The wheezewort stops eating heat after reaching 222K.
Subject Catcher-22 expired of malnutrition.
Conclusion: The artificial species known as the wheezewort is incapable of consuming thermal energy that will result in a phase change of the local atmosphere. Dr. Shy, true to her name, is incredibly shy toward Ms. Shimmer.
Further research should focus on the reproductive capabilities and the temperature management effectiveness of the wheezewort. Also why Dr. Shy wasn't as shy to me as she was to everypony else. And how to make [REDACTED] shut up.
Shove Vole
Security code: B213, B215
Hypothesis: The rock microbiota can eat moon dust.
The rock microbiota is let to cultivate in a petri dish filled with regolith samples taken from the moon.
After roughly 144 hours, the rock microbiota has adapted to digesting moon dust.
The nutritional value of the resulting product is deemed to be sufficient to sustain a 10kg hatch, should the entity ever be created. The waste product is not combustible by any means.
The waste product turned out to be regolith.
The specimen now dubbed regolith microbiota is incapable of producing combustible hydrocarbon.
Pinkie Pie ate our specimen.
Conclusion: Don’t put a lab specimen in the lounge’s refrigerator.
Further research should focus on the usability of the specimen as a gut microbiota for an animal capable of living in space and the effects on the consumption of said specimen by a pony.
Security code: B213, B215
Hypothesis: Subject Pinkie Pie, after eating the regolith microbiota, is now capable of digesting regolith.
We gave Dr. Pie a bowl full of moon dust. She ate it all and complained that it needs more sugar.
Subject Pinkie Pie is capable of flatulence after an hour of digesting regolith.
Dr. Pie defecates a healthy manure with hints of moon dust.
Subject Pinkie Pie has been eating regolith sparingly with cupcakes for a month. No physiological alteration has been observed.
Dr. Pie is as healthy as ever and has taken a liking to eating dirt.
Conclusion: The regolith microbiota is capable of being an auxiliary gut microbiota to sustain a typical carbon-based lifeform.
Further research should focus on fixing Dr. Pie’s gut microbiota and the possibility of creating a species capable of sustaining itself by consuming regolith.
Security code: B213, B215
Hypothesis: The regolith microbiota is capable of becoming an auxiliary gut microbiota to a vole.
We put the regolith microbiota to a vole and fed it moon dust.
Subject Vole-1 successfully defecates a healthy manure with hints of regolith.
After a few days, the vole vomits the moon dust back out instead of defecating it.
Subject Vole-1 has been living off of regolith for three weeks. Metabolism is still typical of a vole but the vomiting of substance instead of defecation.
The vole is still alive after a few months. No physiological alteration has been observed other than a dysfunctional large intestine.
Subject Vole-1 is terminated on grounds of being “too ugly” by sis.
Conclusion: The director is a huge meanie-pants.
Further research should focus on teaching my sister on the importance of maintaining employee morale and the psychological effects of being a [CENSORED].
Dr. Shy
Security code: B215
Hypothesis: Dr. Shy is having a mental breakdown.
Dr. Shy is showing psychological symptoms of being under huge stress including insomnia and unintentional vocalizations.
Dr. Shy is given benzodiazepines in an attempt to calm her down.
Dr. Shy is successfully put to sleep.
Dr. Shy woke up in a screaming fit of approaching deadlines that don't exist.
Dr. Shy is incapable of producing comprehensible words. An attempt will be made to sooth her with spoken words.
Dr. Shy has been neutralized with a tranquilizer on grounds of trying to kill me with a scalpel.
Conclusion: Celly has gone too far.
Security code: B215
Hypothesis: Director Celestia Sol Invicta is capable of empathy toward her employees.
Subject Dic-1 is exposed to the truth of her employee incapable of working productively due to extended periods of extreme stress.
Subject Dic-1 argues that sufficient motivation is needed for her employees to reach the deadline of saving Equestria from its energy crisis.
Dr. Shy is woken up without being informed that subject Dic-1 is observing. She proceeds to produce gibberish vocalizations and some minor words such as “Director” and “Deadlines.”
Subject Dic-1 shows distress after knowing that it’s all her [CENSORED] fault.
Dr. Shy attempts to stab my eye with a bonesaw and almost succeeding, effectively rooting the lesson into subject Dic-1 that she should maybe be kinder to her employees.
Conclusion: My sister extended lunchtimes and approved recreational activities to be held inside the facility outside working hours.
No further research needed. She [CENSORED] got the point.
Duplicant
Encryption Level: 5
Security code: B215
Hypothesis: The Printing Pod is capable of printing out living beings.
A DNA stamp of subject Amoeba-1 is given to the Printing Pod to be printed. Sufficient genetic ooze has been synthesized and put inside the cartridge.
The Printing Pod worked as intended and printed out an amoeba-like creature into the petri dish, now dubbed clone Amoeba-A.
Clone Amoeba-A is observed to be lacking a mitochondrion.
Clone Amoeba-A expired of malnutrition.
Conclusion: The Printing Pod is capable of printing out living beings with certain limitations.
Further research should focus on perfecting the printing method to yield a better output.
Security code: B215
Hypothesis: The revised version of the Printing Pod is capable of printing out living beings.
A DNA stamp of subject Amoeba-1 is given to the Printing Pod to be printed. Sufficient genetic ooze has been synthesized and put inside the cartridge.
The Printing Pod worked as intended and printed out an amoeba-like creature into the petri dish, now dubbed clone Amoeba-B.
Clone Amoeba-B is observed to have a nominal cytoplasm and membrane.
Clone Amoeba-B attempts to split and fails. Clone Amoeba-B does not cease its attempt.
[DELETED DATA]
Clone Amoeba-B expired.
Conclusion: The Printing Pod is now capable of printing healthy amoebas, however still incapable of reproduction.
Further research should focus on the effects of printing out multicellular beings.
Security code: B213, B215
Hypothesis: The Printing Pod is capable of printing out multicellular beings.
A DNA stamp of a Rattus norvegicus domestica dubbed subject Hibiscus-1 is given to the Printing Pod to be printed. Sufficient Ooze has been synthesized and put into the cartridge.
The Printing Pod worked as intended and printed out a rat now dubbed clone Hibiscus-A. External appearances of clone Hibiscus-A similar to subject Hibiscus-B, but lacking a snout and having approximately 20% less mass.
Clone Hibiscus-A is fed sunflower seeds.
Clone Hibiscus-A defecates a healthy manure, indicating a healthy metabolism.
Conclusion: The Printing Pod is Capable of printing out multicellular beings. Dr. Shy has fully recovered from her shock. Glad to have you back.
Further research should focus on printing out sapient beings and perfecting the anatomical anomalies caused in the printing process.
Security code: B125, B213, B215
Hypothesis: The Printing Pod is capable of cloning a pony.
A DNA stamp and brainmap of subject B125 is given to the printing pod to be printed. Sufficient Ooze has been synthesized and put into the cartridge.
The Printing Pod worked as intended and printed out a pony dubbed clone Duplicant-1. External appearances differ from subject B125 by shorter height and smaller body size, almost like a pony with dwarfism, a shorter snout, and a shorter horn.
Clone Duplicant-1 is incapable of speech. Vocalizations restricted to monosyllabic squeaks and noises typical of a theremin.
Clone Duplicant-1 shows extreme happiness upon seeing subject B125. Subject B125 and clone Duplicant-1 engaged in a one-sided conversation and the clone seemed to understand simple commands and offers such as “come here” and “would you like a cookie?”
Clone Duplicant-1 consumes a chocolate chip cookie.
Clone Duplicant-1 defecates a slimy substance typical of a symptom of diarrhea. Clone Duplicant-1 does not show any other symptom that indicates a problematic digestive system.
Clone Duplicant-1 is tasked to do a simple levitation spell and fails. An arcano meter shows no signs of magic activity. Clone Duplicant-1 shows signs of psychological distress upon failing the task. Subject B125 successfully calmed clone Duplicant-1 to its nominal psychological state.
Clone Duplicant-1 is shown pictures of subject B125’s past experiences and shows no response that indicates familiarity.
Clone Duplicant-1 is asked to do a moonwalk and does so successfully. Researcher shows signs of jealousy.
Clone Duplicant-1 is tasked with lifting Researcher B215 despite B215’s reluctance. Clone Duplicant-1 successfully shows her ability to lift things way heavier than herself by lifting all three ponies in the room simultaneously.
A consensus was made to not test clone Duplicant-1’s reproductive organs.
Conclusion: The Printing Pod is capable of cloning ponies with certain limitations, such as magical capabilities, anatomy, and memory retainment. Advantages found in the clone include excessive muscle strength and having a very positive outlook in life.
Further research should focus on perfecting the anatomical anomalies caused in the printing process.
Security code: B125, B213, B215
Hypothesis: A pony clone now dubbed a Duplicant can have their motoric movements be controlled by a microchip implant.
A brain surgery was conducted on clone Duplicant-1 to implant a microchip. Further specifications on the microchip can be found in the Physics Department.
A joystick from a Joyboy was used to control motoric movements of clone Duplicant-1. The clone moved its left front hoof upon given input. The clone shows signs of curiosity upon being released from motor control. No signs of psychological distress detected.
Conclusion: The cranial chip implant works and no ethics board is going to like it.
Further research should focus on what the hell to do now with the Dupe. And maybe figuring out a way to give her speech.
Security code: A001, B215
Hypothesis: A Duplicant does not retain basic survival instincts.
[DELETED DATA]
Clone Duplicant-1 terminated.
Conclusion: A Duplicant retains basic survival instincts.
Further research should focus on figuring out what the [CENSORED] is happening to Celly.
Security code: B215
Hypothesis: A Duplicant can be brought back to life after expiring to [DELETED DATA].
I couldn’t let Sunset know about this. Celly’s gone mad.
Conclusion: Rest in Peace.
Further research should focus on [EXCESSIVE USE OF PROFANITY DETECTED]
Security code: B125, B213, B215
Hypothesis: A Time Arrow Generator is capable of powering the Printing Pod without producing neutronium. A revised version of the software for the Printing Pod is capable of printing a Duplicant capable of multisyllabic speech.
A Time Arrow Generator of sufficient wattage is connected to the Printing Pod.
The Printing Pod is given a DNA stamp and brainmap of Subject B125 to be printed. Sufficient Ooze is synthesized and put in the cartridge.
The Printing Pod takes approximately 72 hours to charge before automatically functioning. The resulting clone is now dubbed clone Duplicant-2.
Clone Duplicant-2 is tasked to say “Hello” and successfully says, “Good Morning.”
Conclusion: The Printing Pod is now a perfectly self-sustained system and ready to be used on interstellar colonization efforts.
Further research should focus on creating an artificial intelligence capable of managing a colony of Duplicants. Requests have been sent to Physics Engineering.
Security code: A021, B215
Hypothesis: Detailed information on the physiology of a unicorn’s arcane nodes can be used to clone a Duplicant with magical capabilities.
A scan of Subject A021’s arcane nodes is done and given to the Printing Pod along with the DNA stamp and brainmap of Subject A021. A slight modification is made to include a cranial chip implant to be printed along.
The Printing Pod works as intended and successfully printed clone Duplicant-3 already with a cranial chip implant installed. Clone Duplicant-3 acts as a typical Duplicant.
Clone Duplicant-3 is tasked to do a simple levitation spell and fails. An arcano meter shows no signs of magic activity. Clone Duplicant-3 shows signs of psychological distress. Subject A021 successfully calmed clone Duplicant-3’s psychological state to nominal with a playpone magazine.
Conclusion: Detailed information on the physiology of a unicorn’s arcane nodes is not sufficient to create a Duplicant capable of magical capabilities. Duplicants show interest in conversations with sexual innuendos, but lack interest in the activity itself.
Further research should focus on recreating the experiment on other races. The one not involving playpone magazines.
Security code: A001, A021, A101, B215
Hypothesis: Detailed information on the physiology of a pegasus’ and an earth pony’s arcane nodes can be used to clone Duplicants with magical abilities.
A DNA stamp, brainmap, and nodal scan of subject A101 is given to the Printing Pod to be printed. Sufficient Ooze is synthesized and put inside the cartridge.
The Printing Pod works as intended, printing clone Duplicant-4. The clone is asked to touch an office plant. Three arcano meters fail to detect any magical activities.
Clone Duplicant-4 is found to have similar body odor with subject A101.
A DNA stamp, brainmap, and nodal scan of subject A001 is given to the Printing Pod to be printed. Sufficient Ooze is synthesized and put inside the cartridge.
The Printing Pod works as intended, printing clone Duplicant-5. The clone is asked to try to fly and fails. Three arcano meters fail to detect any magical activities.
Clone Duplicant-4 and Duplicant-5 are terminated upon request of subject A001. Subject A021 shows signs of extreme psychological distress after executing orders.
Conclusion: Detailed information on the physiology of a pegasus’ or an earth pony’s arcane nodes is not sufficient to create a Duplicant capable of magical capabilities. Celly does not see the Duplicants as sapient beings. Mr. Gutterson is too used to her [CENSORED] to care.
Further research should focus on convincing Celly that they’re still ponies.
Security code: A001, A021, B011
Hypothesis: A Duplicant printed from a sufficiently powerful unicorn is capable of magic.
A scan of Subject B011’s brainmap and arcane nodes are attempted simultaneously. Subject B011 is made aware of the things subject A021 is willing to do for the sake of keeping her occupation. Subject B011 struggles against the restraints of the neural vacillator.
Subject B011 successfully escaped scan before the brainmap scan finished. Damaged modules include: Empathy Module (23%).
Nodal scan of subject B011 complete.
Severe trauma to arcane nodes of subject B011 detected. First aid is given in sufficient time and subject B011 is sent to the medical compound.
A DNA stamp, incomplete brainmap, and nodal scan of subject B011 is given to the Printing Pod to be printed. Sufficient Ooze is synthesized and put inside the cartridge.
The Printing Pod works as intended, printing clone Duplicant-6. The clone is noticeably more hostile in nature and personality.
Reports from the medical compound details that subject B011 have 72 hours before expiring to complete nodal collapse.
Clone Duplicant-2, Duplicant-3, and Duplicant-6 terminated.
Conclusion: A Duplicant is incapable of magic.
Further research should focus on saving Twilight’s life.
Lulu
Security code: A001, manager.AI
Hypothesis: There’s still hope.
My dear little sister. I didn’t listen.
There’s still a way to save you. There’s still a way for you to live on.
Forgive me. I hope your friends succeed in their attempt, although I see no possible way they could.
Conclusion: Evidence suggests that you are correct in assuming they didn’t.
Don’t worry, I’ll find a way to fix your mistakes.
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...well that went pear shaped fast.
So it looks like Celestia went full mad scientist with no ethics, started killing the clones which no one else liked and eventually ended up killing Luna and tried to use the cloning machine to make another one. What I want to know is what is going on in equestria to cause this, because it sounds like something happening to make them desperate
Awww 😢
Very fascinating
we can make a reasonable conclusion that Subject B125 was Sunset Shimmer, and B011 was Twilight Sparkle; and A021 was Rarity based on both the information in this chapter, and previous chapters.
I continue to find this story interesting; thank you for writing. :)
We didn't actually test its material composition. I'm a genetic engineer, not a geologist.
This is especially concerning given that, as a chicken, Bertha shouldn't have fur to begin with.
Was that really necessary to determine, Dr. Shy?
That's more in the realm of the social sciences.
Given Dr. Pie's background in petriculture, we may need another subject to eliminate environmental variables outside the scope of the experiment.
Ah. Luna is the sister more concerned with her subjects' mental health.
... Oh. Oh my. That went horribly wrong. In George Lucas's words, it's like poetry. It rhymes. That's not necessarily a good thing.
I wonder about the content of the deleted data.
Never underestimate the last part.
Wow.
That was certainly something.