Twilight Sparkle has fulfilled her destiny and become the sole ruler of Equestria.

Unfortunately, at her first council meeting, she learns a terrible truth.

Equestria is a bit of a mess.

This story did not explode! What a relief and/or letdown.

Part of OPERATION CRACKFIC STORM 2024 ( group | stories ).

Thanks to Silk Rose for coming up with the idea, writing chapters 22 and 9, and developing the code; thanks also to Meadowsys for general code help.

Thanks to IrradiatedPirateBooty ( tumblr ) for the awesome character art.

And thanks to everyone in the comments who stuck around for the final countdown!

Straight from the Canterlot archives, this collection of documents retells the rise and fall of Princess Twilight Sparkle, Enlightened Despot of Equestria, Defender of the Peace, Lawgiver, and Commander of Fort Libris.

Twilight Sparkle is, of course, known to historians as the first usurper to seek to schedule a coup d'etat by appointment. But for other details- such as, "What is the longest recorded time a pony has gone without sleep?", "Is it true what they say about swans?", and, "Why is there an owlbear in the Equestrian Witness Protection Program?"- these documents provide the answers and much, much more.

This is ABSOLUTELY SERIOUS HISTORY from primary sources. If anything makes you think this is silly, ludicrous, or unbelievable, blame Discord.

Written for FanOfMostEverything's Imposing Sovereigns writing contest.

EDIT 3-15-17: Wow, almost instant featured! Was NOT expecting that!

EDIT 4-8-2017: Featured in the Royal Canterlot Library! Thanks!

Part of the Remember Fort Libris print anthology, thanks to our Kickstarter supporters!

Anon was rather surprised to wake up in a world of magical talking horses. He was even more surprised to discover that said horses already knew him from a TV show.

Inspired by some old prompts in the RGRE thread. Cover art by Nignogs.

In a quiet corner of a nondescript pocket dimension, somewhere adjacent (and slightly to the left) of an unfathomable writhing tempest of antimatter, between an Ikea and the caged spirit of Asmodeus, exists a draconequus. He has thoughts he needs to put down onto paper, some strongly worded thoughts for an irksome purple princess.

Cover art courtesy of JeweLLier on VK.

Featured on Equestria Daily!

Reading by Skijarama.
Reading by Pony&Wolf Productions.

Russian Translation by oranzinispegasas.

Why do ponies dream? Why do we all seem to dream the same dreams?

What if we started to dream new things?

Discord said he wanted to make our dreams more interesting. Add some spice to our boring nocturnal lives. Nothing dangerous – just a bit of excitement to talk about in the mornings.

"Stop worrying so much, Twilight Sparkle," he said. "After all, dreams never hurt anypony."

How I wish he’d been right.

Gold Medalist in the Under the Sun Writeoff Event.

Now with Russian translation, courtesy of Cloud Ring! https://darkpony.space/the-archetypist-1/

Once upon a time, everypony spoke the same language.

Then came Discord, and everything changed. Was it a malicious prank? Boredom? An attempt to teach everypony a lesson? We can't ask him, because he's gone, and who knows when he'll be back.

If language is the glue that holds society together, what happens when it turns to sand?

Winner of the October Writeoff competition, "Illusion of Choice."

After a recent cluster of calamities cursing her farm, Applejack's livelihood stands on the brink of financial ruin. Desperate, she asks Twilight Sparkle for a loan to keep Sweet Apple Acres running.

But when Twilight's unexpected answer inadvertently causes the two mares to butt heads, the stalemate threatens not only Ponyville's food supply but also their friendship.

With the two obstinate mares sticking to their principles come Tartarus or tidal surges, can Pinkie Pie bridge their ideological gap and save Applejack's farm?

Pinkie knows that being a baker means taking a lot of responsibility for your product. The bread has to rise with Celestia. Nopony needs to go through Round Two on the Baked Bads. And if at all possible, you should absolutely avoid serving the kind of 'donuts' which summon an eldritch horror from beyond space and time to destroy the world.

The Cakes keep slipping up on that last part. Not deliberately, at least in that they don't know they're doing it -- but somepony still has to clean up the tentacled mess, and do it by the time Sun is raised. Which is going to be Pinkie. Again.

Break out the caffeine. It's going to be a long night.

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Rated C for Cthulhu Crackfic.

Twilight unveils an enchanted bulletin board in Ponyville just before leaving on a long trip. When she gets back, she discovers that Discord has hijacked the board as a prank and the whole town is now inundated in disinformation and conspiracy theories.

Twilight and Discord work together to reverse the damage but it proves to be a more difficult task than either of them could have ever imagined.