Up until that point, Summer was having a pretty good day.
Now, she knew that marrying an apelien would add a certain measure of excitement to her life, that much was obvious, but, with this, the entire situation had entered the realm of absurdity. A literal sun diety, the ruler of the most powerful nation on the planet, just outed herself as a fan of the children's show that starred her husband, and Summer wasn't sure whether she should fight, break down, or grab Anon and run.
And in much the same way that three fat people would prevent each other from going through the same door, Summer froze up when she tried to react. She ended up standing there in a sort of daze, her mouth upturned in an disheartened grimace, and legs held uncomfortably straight.
"Princess, he isn't ... he's not a ... "
Engulfing his arm in a golden glow, Celestia watched in awe as she curled his fingers. "Remarkable ... truly remarkable." She turned to Rainbow. "Did my faithful student help you with this, Miss Dash? She's quite the humare herself, and something like this is right up her alley."
"So this is where she gets it. No, Princess, you don't understand, Anon ... "
She let go of his hand and began to circle him, wide eyes appraising Anon as if he were a used car. "Correct proportions, natural feeling flesh, independent movement ... this really is something else." She gave a quick nod. "I'm impressed."
"Princess Celestia, my husband isn't ... "
Celestia shot her a wry grin. "Husband? We all know that Incognito is best human, but I suppose an argument can be made for Anonymous here." She tittered. "Perhaps we can make ... "
He decided to speak up. "I'm going to stop you right there. I'm the actual Anon, like from Earth and everything. I showed up in Equestria five years ago, and only just learned about the show."
Celestia jumped back with a shrill yelp, her pupils constricted to pinpoints.
"I don't wanna end up in some laboratory or corporate boardroom, and from what I've heard, you're pretty good at helping people."
Shaking her head, Celestia scanned Anon for active magic, and took a further step back when it showed he was clear. "Sweet merciful Goddess, you're real."
"I am."
"You're ... you're Anonymous, the Anonymous, from ... My Little Human."
"We've established this, yes."
"You're ... "
"Yes."
She surged forward and wrapped her legs around him, giggling like a little filly. "You're real! You're Anon and you're real! Stars above I can't believe that ... "
Anon cleared his throat, and Celestia realized what she was doing.
"I ... apologize for that, my little human." She couldn't help but giggle as her hooves met the ground. "Get it? Because I call my ponies that, and the name of the show is ... " Seeing his deadpan, she shook her head and ran a hoof through her mane. "Right, sorry."
Taking a moment to breath, Celestia managed to restrain her excitement, and took on a wide, if bashful, smile. "If ... it isn’t too much trouble, can ... can we watch an episode together? I mean, I ... I get it if you don't want to, but ... "
There were many, many things that Anon would rather do, but he was trying to get something from her, and was, as such, prepared to make a sacrifice.
"Uh, sure."
Her smile grew, somehow, and with a flash, the human and the princess were gone from the throne room, starbursts dancing in the eyes of the pegasi.
Rainbow blinked, her vision swimming.
"Summer?"
"Yeah?"
"Would you believe it if I said this is a quiet week for me?"
Summer stared straight ahead, her emotions looping back around to a dizzying numbness.
"Huh."
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
"This figure has brushable hair!"
Celestia stood there with shining eyes and a beaming smile, her tail swishing back and forth.
"I see."
Giggling, she placed the toy inside the display case, and picked up its neighbor with her magic.
"And this is a Humicon exclusive! You can tell because it glows in the dark!"
"Right." He looked around the room, drinking in the worryingly large amount of human merchandise. "So, you have an entire room dedicated to this stuff?"
"Uh-huh! The show's great, and the characters are even better! If you want, I can show you my Timfiction account!"
He repressed a shiver. "No, I'm good. Do you want to watch the show now, or ... ?"
The princess jumped a bit and hurriedly put the figure away. "Ohmigosh, I totally forgot about that! Come on!"
Grabbing his hand, she bounded towards her bedroom, hoofsteps ringing heavy in the empty corridors of the castle's living quarter. Wrenching open the engraved ivory doors, she practically landed on the couch, dragging Anon alongside her. Apparently trying to imitate a human, she sat in a rather unfortunate upright position and wrapped a forleg around his shoulders. Popping a DVD into the player, she looked him dead in the eyes.
Anon was decidedly uncomfortable, but knew better than to criticize the big white horse Goddess thing.
"Sister, what in Tartarus is with all the noise, I am trying to sleep! If I didn't know any better, I would say you are trying to summon ... "
Luna stood in the open doorway, and her face scrunched up in disgust when she spotted Anon.
"Sister."
"Yes, Lulu?"
"Is that one of the apes you keep pornography of?"
Celestia gave a happy nod.
"I see." Luna wanted nothing to do with any of this, and shambled back to bed with a frustrated snort.
"Is she ... "
Celestia scoffed. "Luna's always been a drama king, just ignore her." Her smile returned, and with a vengeance. "We have human to watch!"
" ... great."
I don't know what to say about this. I've been laughing nonstop for a solid minute now.
10394839
I think the better question is how does luna know her sister even has human porn?
10394890
Well, she isn't exactly subtle about it.
10394890
Wet dreams?
Yep!
Good job Luna.
Because of that line I'm going to have to clean up where I spit my drink out.
Subtle.
Honestly it just makes me feel sad for Celestia. Being that utterly emotionally invested in a show is not only extremely unhealthy but also shows underlying issues.
Yeah, Luna definitely wasn't impressed
Okay, so its not quite as bad as it could have been, but Celestia is still bit too much inti the show. At least she isn't as insane about it as Twilight. I suppose that's one way Celestia could be indirectly involved without intruding, by helping Anon and sheilding him from those who would drag him off she gets to helpthe protagonist of her favorite show have his happily ever after with his wife.
10395203
It's a low effort comedy story, no need to read into it lol.
Imma pissed, want tin know why? Dispite me having this story tracked fimfiction still refuses to tell me about the update.
I only found out about the update because I checked the last updated tab......ffs
10395100
Because I had to share what my wretched brain thought up. I have to live with the fact that I came up with that. The least you can do is suffer with me!
This broke me, i had to walk away to calm down. That's some funny shit right there.
Even in this universe they haven't released Blu-rays of the series.
Curse you, Haspone! You've ruined everything, again!
So there's at least one sane pony in this all. Good for Luna!
Rainbow well end up bonding with them over the wackiness of it all. Let's just hope she doesn't get a broken heart out of it too.
This is just hilarious, and I hope to see more.
At least it hasn't gone "Full Humanity" yet, and strapped him to a lab table, but we still have the possibility.
Personally, I hope it stays in "Equestria Level" Insanity, and just provides a running commentary of the Fandom.
There are plenty of GrimDark fics out there already.
10396606
I can probably see Pinkie writing a MLH version of Cupcakes...
... I fell out of my chair, and into a book shelf half an hour ago. I am beaten, bruised, and still giggling like a madmare.
Well played author, well played.
Just what did Luna think Celestia was trying to summon? (As if we didn't know)
Also, Summer is going to need therapy after this, not to mention bodyguards against the "husbando stealers" brigade.
10395501
Same, I only just found out about it.
Edit: oops, double post
Edit2: "apelien" is the best new word :)
10390277
Honestly, that sounds like a riot (humorous situation, not an actual riot, mind you.)
I posted this on the wrong page. Whoops
I love it. Everything. Anon's name, 4pone, /mlh/, humares... Pure gold my dude.
10407472
"human in a jar"
I wonder how Twilight would react to this.
10411649
I'm pretty sure bowchickawowow music would start playing in her head...
Kudos for "apelien".
Oh god...
Anyway, its strange that someone with good social skills would be so dense to go "look at my cute collection of your friends as plastic toys!". Creepy.
10419842
Again, this isn't War and Peace, this is an AIE comedy that takes the piss out of the fandom.
10410993
Jesus fuck no!
Luna is done with Celestia's shit
Lololololololololol
Fucking... Drama King... Celestia as a humare... PRICELESS ♡ !!!
Would that be herself, Luna or Cadance? Perhaps Faust?
Wonder if Spike is a hu-dragon
Time for a threesome? Twilight x Anon x Celestia.
Summer get 100 Bits for every minute as compensation
Im dying of laughter over here!
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By the Moon I did NOT see that coming. I mean I figured that either Sun Horse or Best Princess would be fans, and thinking about it I probably shouldn't be too surprised that it's Sun Horse. But for Sun Horse to be fanfillying like that... Wow
I love Best Princess's reaction.
Fantastic
Can I have your permission?
Your horse momma!
!