When Summer opened the door, she was met with the sight of a manic unicorn pacing back and forth, a stone held aloft in her magic. A pegasus stood a meter or so behind, her tired frown morphing into a concerned wince when she caught the homeowner's eyes.
"So I'll throw this rock through a window as a distraction, while you kick the door open. Make sure that ... "
"Uh, Twi?"
" ... you find Anon as quickly as possible. We don't how many ponies are keeping him here, or what threat they pose, so be on the lookout. He'll probably be ... "
"Twi."
" ... pretty terrified, maybe even traumatized, so we need to be patient and calm. Remember what I told you, humans are ... "
"TWI!"
The unicorn turned to her friend, brow furrowed and ears tilted back. "Rainbow Dash, please don't interrupt. If we want to ensure Anon's safety, we have to ... "
The pegasus was frantically pointing towards the doorway, and the unicorn spared a momentary glance, if only to shut her up. As she turned back towards her friend, the unicorn's eyes widened in horror, and she looked back again at a very peeved, very tired Summer Showers.
"Oh ... "
She flung the rock away away from the house and desperately straightened her mane, a friendly grin plastered on for good measure.
"Hello miss, how are you tonight?"
Summer maintained her deadpan. "Can I help you?"
"Well, um ... " She pawed at the ground, nervous eyes shifting between Summer and her friend. " ... uh ... " She gulped. "We're from the ... Celestial Church, and want to talk about ... "
The pegasus stepped in, unwilling to watch the unicorn make more of an ass of herself. "The human lives here, right?"
"Rainbow!"
"Yes, he does." She raised an eyebrow. "What's it to you?"
As the pegasus inhaled, words half formed, the unicorn ran up to Summer and grabbed her by the shoulders, their muzzles pressed tightly together.
"Where. Is. Anon?"
"Please stop touching me."
She let her go, backing up a step or two.
"Where is he?"
Summer looked over at the pegasus.
"Is she alright? Mentally, I mean?"
"Twi hasn't been diagnosed with anything, if that's what your wondering." She scratched her head. "She's not usually this insane."
"Right." Summer shifted her attention back to the unicorn. "Do you promise to remain calm?"
"Yes."
Summer knew, in her heart, that the unicorn wouldn't live up to this promise, but didn't have the energy to call her out on it. And so, with a sigh, she moved aside and beckoned them with a hoof.
"Alright, come in."
The unicorn belted through the doorway, dissapearing around a corner to the sound of ecstatic giggles.
The pegasus slowly exhaled. "I'm really sorry about all of this, she's a big fan of the show, and, well ... "
Summer raised a hoof. "I get, I get it. Just try to keep her in line, alright?"
"That's why I'm here."
Making their way to the living room, they were met with the sight of Anon in an armchair, arms crossed and face torn between an amused grin and disgusted grimace. The unicorn was bouncing around him, her eyes closed and smile wide.
"You're real! You're real! You're real!"
"One would hope so, yes."
She gasped, a notebook and quill materializing before her and floating in a lavender aura.
"I have so many questions! How did you get here? When did you get here? In Episode 15, why did Jim ... "
The pegasus coughed.
"Oh. Oh! My name is Twilight Sparkle, and it is an honor to meet you."
She did a little curtsey, and pointed towards her friend.
"This is Rainbow Dash."
Dash coughed, and Twilight sighed.
"The fastest flyer in Equestria."
He couldn't help but chuckle.
"A pleasure. I'm Anonymous, but I suppose you already know that."
Twilight nodded.
"And this is my wife, Summer Showers."
Summer jumped up onto his lap and gave him a kiss. It was an oddly theatrical gesture, but they both knew that the unicorn had some sort of infatuation with Anon, and so made an effort to tell her that he was already taken. Twilight, seeing this, visibly wilted, and Dash felt an odd combination of sympathy and relief. She felt bad for her friend, sure, but figured that Twilight would understand this state of affairs, and move on from her frankly unhealthy obsession.
"That's ... nice. I'm happy for you." Twilight gave a small smile as she hopped up onto a couch opposite the armchair. Rainbow settled next to her, and the four sat there for a bit in silence, the only sounds their breathing and the ticking of a clock.
When the kettle whined, Anon stood up and went to the kitchen, coming back soon after with the tea.
"So, what can we do for you?"
Twilight snapped from her daze.
"Pardon?"
"What can we do for you? I figure you came here for a reason."
"Well ... " She scratched the back of her neck. "I just wanted to meet you, I guess. You're my favorite character in the show, and, uh ... yeah."
"Fair enough." He rubbed his eyes. "It's a bit late to be doing much of anything, so why don't we figure something out tomorrow?"
She gave a vacant nod. " ... okay."
They headed back through the front door, and Anon made sure to lock it.
After waiting for a minute or so, Summer prodded his leg. "Are you sure that's a good idea? She seems a little ... out there."
Anon grabbed one of her ears and rubbed it between her fingers. "It'll placate her. She managed to find us in less than week, lord knows what she'd do if we pissed her off."
She sighed. "Just be careful, alright?"
"Don't worry, I can handle it."
On the other side of the door, Twilight was fuming, heavy hoofsteps creating holes in the dirt road that led to the inn.
"I can't believe it."
Dash turned to her. "What?"
"She stole him from me."
She blocked her with a wing. "Twi, please, don't do anything stupid."
Twilight scoffed. "It'll be nothing stupid, Rainbow. I just need to show him that I'm better than her. What's a weathermare to the personal student of Celestia herself?"
Dash raised an eyebrow.
Twilight blushed. "Heh ... no offense."
Run, and do not stop, and don’t look back!
bruh
Oh dear.
I'm guessing this is a reference to Flash Sentry "the waifu stealer."
So she isn't yet an Alicorn Princess in this story? I feel like she might not end up as one in this A.U. depending on how diligently she pursues Mister F. Aggot, hand how little respect she might end up showing toward personal boundaries.
Oh come on , they are invited in ask nothing then are told "its late come back tommorow"?
It would have made more sense for Twilight to think of Summer Showers as an antagonist if they weren't invited in.
There is a million questions she should have jumped at asking! She even popped out a list!
sigh, yep, this is how I thought it’d go. Well, as long as we don’t get into Love poison territory, I’m sure it’ll be fine. Not good, but not illegal.
10318098
It's literally midnight lol. I think it's more "she wants to be a fangirl, but it's too late to deal with that shit. Just put it off until tommorow."
10318108
From their point of view , totally get it.
But if I'm twilight sparkle I'd say no problem I'll just ask celestia to change the time.
Anon is doomed
This is officially on the purple scale of 8 so far. The moment she acts on that little bout of insanity of hers and it will be a 9. 10 if she goes off the deep end.
"Hey Summer?"
"Yes?"
"Know any good pony songs for hiding a dead body? Or, you know, hiding a body in general?"
Get your rain slickers out fellas, we're in for a hell of a shit storm.
Alright, I hate Twilight now. Are we going ri have several chapters if her attenpting ti steal the object of her obession and posses him with q care as to his own happiness, or are they going ti smack the shit out of her for being an asshole? Because she really doesn't look like she actually cares about him at all given her first reaction to him existing is to kidnap him, and her reaction to him being married is to ruin that marriage.
Um, Rainbow, look at who you're talking to.
Rainbow Dash is the voice of reason.
Just let that sink in...
Hoof, meet mouth. You're going to be intimate before this is all over. Very, very intimate.
I know this is a weird question but how does a pony curtsy?
10318359
The same way a pony has shoulders - for ease of writing without having knowlege of horse parts. I suppose she'd just bend all her legs.
10318371
They can definitely bow, but a curtsey requires either wearing or pretending to wear a skirt or dress. I suppose it may still be part of 'proper' etiquette, since major social events seem to require the wearing of clothing. Twilight would have learned that either as part of her schooling or from Rarity in preparation for one of the Grand Galloping Galas.
Oh, so Twilight's that kind of fan. Oh boy I hope she gets set straight, and hard, that type is the fucking worst
This is fun. It’s also probably the first story I’ve read where having anon as the human is actually beneficial to the story. I mean how hard can it be to spend 2 seconds to write a, though generic, original character? Anyway the whole my little human makes it work. Using the everyday man most commonly used in fanfics makes more sense than making your own character here.
Twilight, no.
Twi why?
10318094
I hope restraining orders are a thing in this version of Equestria.
Oh, dear. It looks like Twi's set to react just as poorly as I feared.
This is funny. I hope to see more.
Throw a book at her, preferably a bible so you can say something like the power of christ compels you or begone demon or something along those lines. She’ll be too flabbergasted that she had a book thrown at her to realize what is going on.
I do hope Twilight Sprokle does NOT get in the way.
A dead body is seriously hard to hide, especially the ruler's prized pupil and lead of the Elements of Harmony.
You're gonna need a super hole to hide all of that.
I'm in this story and I don't like it.
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I see sane Twilight has taken an extended vacation.
Yeah, the extra day to work out what to do next is necessary
run anon run
Somepony contact Princess Celestia, as in, right now! If anypony, she is the one to be able to keep Twilight in line.
That weathermare comparison... discussed with Rainbow Dash ofc, priceless.
10318217
It could be worse. Rainbow Dash has more common sense than Rarity, or Pinkie Pie... Pinkie has Pinkie sense.
Ewwww.
This will not end well. I get the feeling that Twi will have a restraining order put on her.
Aaaaand just like that, the character went from Twilight Sparkle to OOC Donut Steel.
10318217
The world's gonna end, Discord gonna raise the sun and moon, and Daybreaker and Nightmare Moon will bring rampage and destruction upon all of Equestria
10318049
'Bruh' is the only reaction I have to Twilight atm as well...
...This is not looking good.
...
*Grabs popcorn*
Man we're only 3 chapters in and we're already going in a direction of edgy teenagers with attachments issues
I can already see the memories of past reddit posts beginning to resurface in my mind
O for fuck sake... A sociopath is after Anon...
The should haven taken Spike to keep her in check.
his - unless Anon changed gender wile giving ears scriches
10318049
The thing is, some people think EXACTLY like that. It makes me very glad to NOT be famous.
10318217
She's probably had to deal with overenthusiastic fans herself. It's got to be awkward as heck seeing one of her friends behave like that.
Anon word of advice...... RUN MOTHERFUCKER.