Abductions
Consciousness beat Anon over the head, and dragged him into a cave to devour his bones.
His existence was, in that moment, wholly consumed by a terrible pain, swirling and thrumming and digging down into his skull, squeezing his brain like a lemon. Every breath was another lashing, every tiny movement a spurt of flame. He couldn't focus, couldn't think, couldn't do anything but lie on his back and silently scream into the churning void.
The world returned to him in piecemeal fragments—the mildew strangling his nostrils, the blood painting his tongue, the sweat clinging to his skin. What once felt like a gaping wound became something comparable to a sprained ankle, or perhaps a ripe bruise, and his addled mind grew just lucid enough to parse his surroundings.
Blinking through shadows and starbursts, his filmy eyes caught the root of a tree, spiraling down from a cavernous ceiling of rough-shorn wood and moist earth. Flickering candles bathed the room in a rich orange glow, and racks of magitech computers, fans whirring and circuts glowing, stood watch along the walls. Anon idly wondered whether he'd been abducted by molemen—a theory that didn't seem too outlandish, given that he was married to a talking horse—though it wasn't long before his last encounter with Twilight flooded back to him.
'Wonderful, a kidnapping. Honestly surprised this didn't happen sooner.'
Suffice to say, Anon was far from willing to take part in whatever horseplay the unicorn had planned.
He tried to get up and run, but found that he'd been tied to some sad parody of a marriage bed, rose petals and all. Desperately straining to pull his arms apart, he grit his teeth as the rope held firm, and slumped back on the mattress as he worked to catch his breath.
'It's just a rope, there's no need to panic. Everything's gonna be fine.'
The door behind him slammed open, and something plodded into the room. Turning his head, Anon spied a fat, squat purple lizard, muttering swears as it dragged along a camera and tripod.
"Oh, you're awake."
The lizard set up the tripod next to the bed, locking the camera in place on top of it.
"Sorry if your head hurts, but it's pretty hard to carry something four times your size without knocking it around a bit."
A claw pressed a button on the side of the camera, and a little red light flickered into being right above the lense.
"She didn't even help, you know, just ran into her bucking room and started jilling it. Big surprise, I had to do everything myself."
The lizard snorted and crossed its arms, bizarre ear-fins twitching in irritation.
"It's every day with her, I swear. 'Spike, clean the gutters. Spike, reorganize the library. Spike, strap on this cooler and help me with my heat.' I'm a dragon, I shouldn't have to put up with this crap."
Hoofsteps, and the unmistakable odor of arousal, heralded Twilight's arrival.
"Is everything ready, Spike?"
Spike's glower deepened, and he raised his middle claws before stomping back up the stairs.
"Go buck yourself, Twi."
Twilight watched her brother/son/slave leave with a raised brow.
"I wonder what his problem is."
Shrugging her shoulders, Twilight gave a beaming smile and giddily trotted towards Anon. Her mane and fur were matted and damp, only just washed after weeks of neglect, and her unblinking eyes held a manic vacancy.
"How do you feel, Anon? I hope the trip here wasn't too rough."
He shot her a deadpan glare.
"I'd love to answer, but if you haven't noticed, I'm a bit tied up."
Twilight giggled.
"Oh, that's clever, because the ropes, and ... " She looked away and flicked her tail. "It's just a precaution. I don't want you running away before ... heh, well, you'll see."
Anon flinched as she ran a hoof along his jaw.
"You were always my favorite, I hope you know that. The others all have a certain appeal, I won't deny that, but you're special, you're ... better." Twilight took a shuddering breath. "And now you're here, my perfect husbando. Don't worry, I'll treat you right."
She turned away and flagged her tail, and Anon buried a grimace.
In the time that passed since his situation first registered, observations and speculations flittered about his mind, and crystallized as something of an escape plan. Though this plan was half-baked and half-assed, and filled with more holes than a New Jersey highway, his captor was just horny enough to give it an infinitesimal—but not nonexistent—chance of success.
"Hey Twiley?"
Her ears perked, and she stared him in the eye with a blush.
"Y-yes, um ... Nonny?"
"Now, I understand why you'd feel the ropes are nessecary, but I can't imagine we'd have much ... fun if I'm stuck lying here like a dead fish. Why don't you untie me?"
Frowning, the mare stepped forward and shook her head.
"What, and let you leave? I've waited too long for this, no way."
He gave her a sultry grin, or at least as good a one that could possibly be cobbled from disgust and desperation.
"Don't think I haven't seen you eyeing my hands. Look, if you get rid of the ropes, I'll show you what they can really do."
Twilight took a step back, nervously chewing her lip.
"But, if ... I don't ... "
Now to drive it all home.
"I dunno about you, but Summer can't get enough of them. Scritches, rubs, pets ... sometimes I even, you know, show her a little love down there. Doesn't that sound nice?"
She timidly studied the room, her gaze narrowly avoiding the human lying right in front of her. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to look at him, and nearly folded in on herself when he playfully wiggled his eyebrows.
"P-promise?"
He nodded.
"Promise."
With a flash of her horn, his bonds disappeared—the exact mechanics of this eluded Anon, given that it was just a regular rope, so he simply chalked it up to the usual magic nonsense. He sat up and draped his legs over the side of the mattress, while Twilight, stiff as a soldier, nervously wringed her hooves. Stretching his arms and rolling his shoulders, Anon spied a stray bit of computer equipment jutting out from underneath the bed, and silently decided on a singular course of action.
He reached out and grabbed one of Twilight's ears, and began to slowly knead it between his fingers. Melting into his touch, Twilight let out a low, guttural moan, and slapped her sopping tail against his legs.
"Heh, you're certainly enjoying this."
Tongue hanging out, she struggled to remain standing.
"Mmm ... 'non ... "
It was then, just as Twilight reached nirvana, that an old monitor smashed against the back of her head.
She collapsed onto the floor in a pile of limp flesh and broken electronics, and Anon jumped from the bed and ran towards the door.
If he took the time to look back, he'd have noticed her betrayed expression, and the blinding white light shining in her eyes.
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s2g twi's gone full retard
what the fuck was she expecting to happen
Before the chapter there was a chance this wasnt what it looked like. Now Twilight is a insane lunatic that is a threat to public relations and a big stain on Celestias flank. In short Twilight life is ruined, Celestias image is damaged, Anon will never trust anyone that hasnt earnd his trust with difficulty and worst of all?
Spike is still underpayed and overworked
Friendship is magic is a bad joke after this chapter...
Bad chapter. The story was rather fun. Silly, juicy and sometimes a bit odd... Bot it simply a story about Twilight Sparkle getting locked up for good ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
The - End
10883570
I mean, she wanted her husbando...though that blow to the head is nothing compared to what's gonna happen when Anons girl finds out what happened
10883591
To be fair this is a clear sign of severe internal health problems that should've been addressed way sooner. Anon has plenty reason to never want to see her again, but friendship lasers are going to be a thing so magical reformation is not off the table.
10883570
The power of horny can blind people from common sense.
Ha ha! Good on ya, Anon!
So is Spike now an accessory in the crime of kidnapping?
10883622
yes, and there is a good chance that Celestia will not appreciate this since she wasn't included.
10883615
We must send Twilight to horny jail
10883591
Yeah. She's gonna be pissed.
This is for Twilight:
I also feel bad for Spike in this story :p
Did you hear that guys? It was her status, friendship, and respect ponies feel towards her doing self-destruction with the force of medium-size nuclear warhead... or this is what I would say if it wasn't Equestria... how many chapters before everyone is going to forgive her? At least give her one year on the moon, how about that? XD Or perhaps until Anon and his wife passed away, huh? 🤔
I curse you cliffhanger. CURSE YOU!
10883615
Which is why I only make decisions after post nut clarity, my financial advisor is not a big fan of it though
Can’t say I’m surprised, in all honesty purple can reach undiscovered levels of stupid whenever she get like this.
How dare she have a betrayed look in her eyes. That implies that she didn’t see Anon as sentient and more as a rly friendly dog that would be friendly with anyone including the one who stole it, or 2 she’s delusional to the point of thinking the kidnapping is ok.
My words to anon "Run bitch run"
10883585
Knowing politicians this is the kind of thing that gets swept under the rug until a rival finds it useful.
10883789
Cant be. To high profile. At this points its simply to huge because both character are well known. Difference is Twilight dont have half the Nation as humare fans. In fact she might be denied being called one for lifetime!
10883570
hot steamy penis horse sex, obviously.
Oh no, Twilight's gone full purple! Sound the alarms!
Not smart Twi. I wonder what the mandatory minimum for abduction, unlawful imprisonment and sexual assault are in Equestria, 'cause that's what Book Horse is getting.
...and yet again, reality rears its ugly head and ruins a perfect fantasy. Twilight, did no one ever teach you never meet your fantasy crushes in real life? Haven't you read enough fanfics to learn it never ends well?
Well, I think a restraining order followed by 24 hours of heavily armed supervision and a stern talking from Celestia. Oh and several severe words from Haspone's lawyers to boot.
How the fuck did she think he'd react?
10884092
She's probably written the majority of them
10884027
Full purple?
Well full on betray mode is engaged and now Psycho Twilight is gonna appear! Don't know how Anon will get away but will be interesting to read next chapter.
Well this all escalated quickly...
Twilight I expected, but Spike? He may not be psychotic but now he’s gone and become just as monstrous as Twilight. Him actually helping her just destroys any sympathy he may have garnered.
10884543
Reference to Dear Princess Sunbutt, where Twilight's... eccentricities are often described as a result of, or simply as, her being purple (e.g. "Anon tried to explain that setting ponies on fire was wrong, but I was too purple to listen to his logic")
10885671
So her being the way she is, is being blamed on her coat color?
So, I appreciate the direction the story's going. However, I will be severely disappointed if Twilight doesn't suffer SEVERE consequences for this. She attempted rape so she should at minimum be placed in prison for a VERY long time.
This is one of those things where, sadly, I have no tolerance for the mane 6 getting away with murder just because they're famous/important. Unless that's been established as part of the main plotline (corrupt world scenario), it's just unacceptable. Minor infractions are one thing but something on this level needs to be addressed. I sincerely hope the author has an appropriate resolution for this. I'd hate for this to sour the story.
10885662
Your Mom/Sister/Master tells you to carry the guy she just knocked out you do it.
I’m interested to see how you manage to resolve this plot.
10883591
Wife gon' be mad.
oh... yikes... you're going there.
Be careful how you handle this, author, because the both Anon and Twilight are the audience-inserts in this fic.
Never have Twilight be a fan of you.
10884176
It's sad, but there are people like that in real life. They trick themselves into thinking that the character an actor plays as is how the ACTUAL PERSON is and that they themselves somehow fit into a self-created romantic niche. They also have no real idea how romance works in real life context because they too-frequently drown their mind in cheap-romance books and tv shows to where they seem to be under the (in real life, ludicrous) impression that having lunch with someone once or twice, help them with a problem once or twice, and maybe be greeted with a common courtesy 'good morning' or good night for a week or two and it somehow means they're deeply in love with him/her. Nevermind the fact they they may be dating or married to someone else. Nevermind that they may not be interested in romance at all. Nevermind that they've never actually said "I love you." to them.
They're so wrapped up in their private fantasy world that they Just Can't See through the haze of their delusion. Often times when others try to bring them out of it the attempt is either dismissed, or the nut-job in question becomes violent. Give you one guess which way this is going to go with Twilight.
Get rekt
Swing harder next time, now crazy pony is mad.
Twiggles, no.
Video unavailable :(
And I was so excited to hear 9th symphony with "that many drums" too
Fly you fool!
And Twi has oopsied.