• Published 1st Jul 2020
  • 13,261 Views, 707 Comments

My Little Human - Some Dickhead



Anon discovers that he's the main character of a popular TV show

  • ...
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Invitations

1 month later.

Summer and Anon Showers,

I managed to snag some extra tickets for this year's Wonderbolts Derby. You two seem pretty cool, and are probably bored out of your minds in that little shitbox town, so I figured that you'd appreciate them. The Wonderbolts are the best flyers in Equestria (besides me, of course), and any friend of mine deserves to see them at their awesomest.

Rainbow Dash

"Huh." Anon eyed one of the tickets, flipping it back and forth in his hand. "That's nice, I guess."

Summer floated alongside him, craning her neck to read over his shoulder. "What is it?"

He passed her the letter. "Dash sent us tickets for that Wonderbolts thing next weekend."

"The Derby?"

He shrugged. "Whatever it's called, yeah."

"Hmm." She placed the letter on a side table. "Do you want to go?"

"I'm not sure. Honestly, it sounds like a lot of fun, and I wouldn't mind spending some more time with Dash, but … I dunno, just waltzing around in public … " Anon grimaced. "Too many ways that can go wrong."

"It's in Canterlot, right?"

His eyes returned to the ticket. "Yeah."

"We can probably stop by the castle, request an audience with the Princess." Summer absentmindedly paced the room, brow furrowed in thought. "Get to her before they do, you know? If she's on our side, the whole situation will be that much easier to deal with."

Anon crossed his arms. "You make it sound like we're at war. They're just some internet weirdos, we don't need to bring a literal demigod into this."

Summer turned to him. "Some internet weirdos who managed to find our house." She sighed and looked away, torn between defiance and concern. "The way I see it, we can't just wait around for more ponies to show up, we need to be proactive. I don't understand why you're not ... I dunno, doing something!"

"As I said before, we can't just go around poking people. Tact and restraint, remember?"

"There's a difference between moderation and cowardice."

He raised an eyebrow. "Cowardice?"

"Anon, I think that you don't want to confront this. I think that you want to sit around and pretend that everything's fine, and only deal with problems as they appear. I think that you're unsure whether or not you're even real, and if your life on Earth was anything more than a script for a foal's show." Summer frowned, ears pressed flat. "I think ... " She took a shuddering breath. "I think that you're scared."

Anon sat down and rested his chin on crossed hands. "I ... I don't ... "

She placed a forehoof on his thigh. "I love you. You know that, right?"

He nodded.

"Then you know that I only want to help. I say we go to Canterlot, watch those flyers, and have the best damn time of our lives. We're gonna take the world by the teats, and laugh in the face of anypony who says otherwise."

Anon took on a small smile, and a chuckle rang out from deep in his throat. "When you put it that way ... "

Author's Note:

Little chub chapter, intro for Act 2.