Though the language was somewhat sanitized, My Little Human had shown itself remarkably close to actual events, at least according to Anon's recollections. It wasn't particularly exciting, what with its focus on the lives of some nobody 20-somethings, but the show did have some interesting slice of life elements, and the writing was, all things considered, fairly decent. On the whole, it was good for a kid's show, but certainly nothing to write home about, and Anon would have ignored it completely had he not been the main character.
Neither Anon nor Summer slept very well during the first couple of days that followed this discovery, their time spent almost exclusively learning more about the show and its fanbase. Once the initial shock wore off, and the overpowering sense of cosmic horror lessened a bit, the two had an absolute riot, revelling in a combination of absurdity, narcissism, and smugness. After all, there's something special about seeing fanart of yourself, and Summer couldn't help but laugh at the fact that Anon was already taken.
"I still don't get why so many of these fanfictions have me in a gay relationship with one of my friends." He rested his chin on a hand. "What's the appeal?"
"My money's on exposure. Main characters are usually the most developed, so they end up being the most popular. Besides, you six share a lot of screen time, so these ponies probably don't see it as that much of a stretch."
"Makes sense. Still, some of these stories are pretty disgusting." He pointed at the screen. "Look, this is scat porn starring my little brother. He's twelve."
Summer visibility recoiled.
Anon leaned forward, his nose nearly touching the screen. "Surely there's a point where these writers ask themselves 'hey, would my parents be proud of me if they knew I made this?'" He turned back towards her. "Honestly, like a good third of humare shit is sexual. It's just bizarre."
"Why do you think that is?"
Anon shrugged. "The show's pretty kid friendly, so I reckon it's the fans. If I had to guess, they're fairly lonely in real life, and so turn to this stuff as a form of escapism. You know, living vicariously through cartoon characters."
He clicked around for a bit.
"Is that Princess Celestia?"
"Looks like it. I have to say, I'm flattered by how big they think my dick is." Anon nudged her shoulder. "Bet you wouldn't mind that, eh?"
She pushed him away. "Oh buck off. You know, I couldn't walk for a week after our first time."
He did a little pose. "Heh, mares quake in fear of my mighty column, robust in girth and substantial in length."
"Nonny, you're twice my height." She snorted. "I'm surprised it fits at all."
Anon pulled her close, and she nuzzled his neck. "You say that like it's a bad thing."
"Heh. I love you."
"I love you too."
They sat there for a few moments, losing themselves in each other's embrace. When their affection cooled, and reality once again reared its head, Summer pulled away and stared him in the eyes.
"Anon?"
"Yeah?"
"Where do we go from here?"
He raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
"It's just ... this entire situation is incredibly disturbing, and even though we're laughing, I can't imagine that either of us are comfortable with it." She tapped her hooves together. "Even if nothing changes, the knowledge that this show exists will eat away at us, and we'll be all the worse for it. Honesty, I can't see this ending well."
"Summer, we've been through some serious shit, and this is no different." Anon pat her on the head. "It might be rough, be we'll get out on top, don't you worry."
She swatted his hand away. "This is serious. We can't just sit around and pretend that everything's all hunky-dory." Taking a breath, Summer leaned back in her chair. "We could always sue them or something."
"God no, that's the last thing I want. Can you imagine how much of a legal nightmare that would be? Even beyond citizenship and free speech and shit, Haspone has a copyright, and they might pull something to try and take me."
Her ears wilted. "I know, but I'd still like to do something about it, if only to get them off our backs. The best defense is a good offense and all that."
"Trust me, I get it, but I'd rather not provoke anybody. Why don't we wait until something happens and take it from there?"
"Anon ... I really don't think that's a good idea. By then, it might be too late."
"So you wanna jump in blind?"
"No, just ... " She sighed. "I don't want to lose you."
He kissed her on the cheek. "And you won't, but only if we handle this with tact and restraint." He looked up at the ceiling. "We should probably buy a gun though."
She tilted her head. "A what?"
"You know, a gun. Big metal tube, shoots bullets, makes a loud bang." He made a finger gun and shot at the wall, making sure to accompany the display with appropriate sound effects.
"I've never heard of those before."
"You guys have computers but you don't have guns? What kind of backwards tech tree is this world running?"
She shrugged. "I don't see what the big deal is, we get along well enough without them."
"I guess." He chuckled. "If worst comes to worst, I can just brain them with a table leg or something."
"Human ingenuity at its finest."
"Hey, if it works." He looked at the wall clock. "Anyways, I'm gonna head in."
She yawned. "Agreed."
Anon stood up and popped the knots in his back, and Summer stretched her wings. The two made their way to the bedroom, her tail wrapped around his leg and his hand resting in her shoulder.
And as his head touched the pillow, there was on a knock on the front door.
"Anon, are you in there? Anon?"
"Celestia Twi, it's midnight. He's probably asleep."
"I need to make sure he's alright. Anon? Anon? Can you open the door? Anon! Rainbow, help me pick the lock, go and ... "
"Summer?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you think they'll notice if we jump out the window?"
"Probably."
"Fuck. I'll put the kettle on, you make sure they don't set the house on fire."
Sigh, Twilight!
Though I do have to ask, what does Anon do to keep busy in the town?
Does any other pony in town have internet or tv?
Is no other citizen a mlh fan (humare)?
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No completely valid questions allowed. Just assume the town's a bunch of hicks who don't give a shit about "them moving pictures," and so none of them own a TV or anything.
So glad to read more of this! Quality comedy, well thought out and sound satire, good meta analysis. While the premise isn’t 100% unique (what’s new these days anyway?), the execution is unique and high quality. Hoping the character interactions have substance, but I don’t mind if they’re just jokes that lead to more satire and meta analysis.
This is great! A few spelling errors once in a blue moon, but nothing that detracts from the comedy or story
I need more of this!
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Editing is for the weak
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sounds like the farming town my grandfolks live in. the place accutally has a working phone booth and i am pretty sure baring the cell phones of visitors that it is the only phone in the whole town and you can forget about tv or the "interweb"
it is a nice enough place but going there sure is like taking a step back in time.
oh i wanted to ask but do you know how to fix the notification your story is not showing up for me when you post a new chapter
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Oh, so just like back home where I was? Damn kids these days and their fancy moving screens! We had a rock and a hoop and had to get that rock into the hoop without our hands, then the losing team was sacrificed
This is surprisingly enjoyable. A. F. Aggot seems like a nice guy.
For a world without guns I sure feel like this story is taking shots at everyone.
Getting some critical hits too.
Twilights a yandere isn't she?
Oh no. A story that’s a satire/parody of the briny fandom which makes me state my self in the face. I have a feeling this story will be what Asper-chu is to Sonic-chu for those of you who are familiar. Looking forward to more of this.
Sorry to say Anon, but you've got one huge neurotic fan pony banging on your door and once the horsernet figures out shit is legit, you'll have a stampede (herd?) of psychos gunning for you. The current purple one has cheat codes for life so be glad she didn't teleport in and gaze at you from atop the bed sheets.
Hope your health insurance covers Crazy, Adventures, and any combination thereof.
It’s so meta it hurts but I love it!
This is a great story. You can't change my mind
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Perhaps not, but I can certainly try
I love this
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I had absolutely no desire to spend a few thousand words on Anon's backstory - figured I'd shit out a simple explanation and go from there. Certainly not ideal, sure, but going straight into it would require a lot of exposition.
Is this story updating daily, or did we just get lucky
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Took today off, more or less daily.
Well Anon, it was nice knowing you, hopefully Twilight won't traumatize him too bad.
And with the second chapter I am not only drawn further in but disturbed by the reality of the response.
EDIT: Yeah yo. Make this more of a thing.
The greatest line on this website
Uh.....
Holy shit i love this story Guess we all go bonkers if Dr. Who suddenly parks his Tardis next door
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I love this story too. But nah, the Doc has his own tardis garage in Derpy's house...
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There a story on fimfiction like that?
Haha same
pngitem.com/pimgs/m/599-5991841_crying-pepe-png-transparent-png.png
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Time Turner / Dr. Hooves appears quite often in many stories here. Occasionally he is that Doctor, occasionally just a normal stallion. There should be dedicated stories too, but I never looked for them specifically. One of the most common details is that he either lives with or close friend of Derpy Hooves (and yes, they are at least friends in the show).
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Did you know that Blockbuster is still a thing in the middle of the US? Places that don't have much in the way of internet connection beyond dial-up still make frequent use of it. Might be a similar case here and they just thought he either ended up there from some crazy unicorn's experiments with teleporting (or else the town is a cover for an Equestrian SCP site and they're just happy to have a friendly SCP that can scratch your back and ears juuuust right and are playing dumb.)
This is some real bittersweet meta here with some biting commentary!
Truthfully, most of these guy's parents gave up hope and turn their back on them. They stop caring.
That too! Stupid ass fans!!
Feeling called out.