Despite her assertions to the contrary, Rainbow Dash made a concerted effort to fly through the windows of the Golden Oaks Library whenever she came to visit. It was more 'awesome', she believed, than going through the door, and did a remarkable job at grabbing Twilight Sparkle's attention.
And so, when the glass shattered and the hinges broke and the wood splintered, Dash was rather surprised to hear no reaction from her purple friend. While there would normally be a "dammit Dash," or a "you're paying for that," or even just straight up screaming, today there was nothing but muffled shuffling leaking down from the upstairs bedroom. This, Dash thought, was rather odd, so she slinked up the stairs to investigate, taking care to muffle her hoofsteps.
Cracking the door open, she was relieved to discover that her friend was not, in fact, being robbed. Rather, Twilight was stuffing a suitcase with the neutoric intensity Dash had come to expect from her, a concerningly long checklist floating alongside all manner of seemingly disconnected odds and ends. Staying silent, she crept up to the bed and eyed one of the shirts that had been laid out on it.
Dash snickered. "Didn't know you were a humare, Twi."
Twilight shrieked and jumped away from her, the ruler she had been levitating embedding itself in the ceiling with an audible crunch.
"I, um ... look, it's not ... well ... you see ... "
Dash raised an eyebrow.
"I mean ... " She began to sweat. " ... I ... it's a good show, alright?" Twilight looked her up and down, brow furrowed and expression steeled in a desperate attempt to deflect the accusation. "How do you know what humares are anyways? Aren't you 'too cool' for that kind of stuff?"
Dash scoffed. "When you're as big a Daring Do fan as me, you end up seeing some serious shit. There's weird amount of overlap, too much if you ask me." She shrugged. "Never got the appeal myself, but different strokes, I guess."
"Right." She narrowed her eyes. "You're being a lot more mature about this than I would have expected."
"Trust me, I know all about being a fanfilly." She stepped forward and rested a hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "I mean, I can't say I'm too surprised, what with you being a shut-in nerd and all."
"Hey!"
"But, to be totally honest, I always thought that Shy would be the humare in our friend group."
Twilight tilted her head. "Fluttershy? I've never seen her read anything but veterinary guides and picture books, how could you think that ... " She clenched her jaw. "Wait, why am I even arguing this? I should be mortified!"
"You'd be surprised, she's totally into those Neighsian cartoons with the tentacles and stuff." Dash shuddered. "It's always the quiet ones. Like I said, different strokes. This is absolutely hilarious, but I don't think any less of you for it."
"Wait, really?"
A nod.
"That's wonderful! I should go compare anime recommendations with her sometime, I'm sure that ... "
Dash was barely keeping it together.
Twilight sighed. "Also, thanks for the acceptance or something. What are you doing here?"
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Heh, I'm, heh, trying to avoid laughing at this, Twi, but you're not making it easy. Seriously? Anime recommendations?"
Twilight blushed and pawed at the ground. "It's just nice to hear that somepony shares my hobbies, alright?"
"I get it, I get it." Dash wobbled a foreleg. "Just, heh, wanted to say hi. So, uh ... what's going on? There a convention or something?"
Twilight brightened and walked to her computer, beckoning Dash with a hoof. "Do you know what 4pone is?"
"Kinda."
"Well, there's a human discussion board on there, and three days ago, somepony posted a remarkably realistic photo of the main character, timestamp and everything!"
Twilight pulled up the picture and shifted a bit so that Dash could see it.
"So somepony has a weird sex doll, what's the big deal?"
She rubbed her forehead. "Dash ... it's not ... look, the poster then spent the next few hours answering questions. They sound a lot like Anon, and the human in that photo was incredibly lifelike."
Dash gave a deadpan stare. "You think it's real?"
"I'm not sure." Twilight turned off the computer and walked back towards the bed. "Either that, or the poster is a uniquely skilled illusionist."
Dash turned her head to follow. "Then why are you packing that bag? Going on a marehunt to try and find them?"
"Oh please, that'd be ridiculous." Twilight giggled and rolled her eyes. "I already know where they live, I put my privileges as Princess Celestia's personal student to good use and got their IP adress!"
"Twi, what the buck?"
She walked over to a map covered in pin tacks and red Sharpie. "They're in the small town of Gottherd's Branch, which borders the northernmost point of the Everfree. The closest town with a railway station is about a half-day's walk, so it makes sense why nopony has heard from them before now."
"Twi, seriously, you sound insane. What do you mean you got their IP adress? Is that even legal?"
Twilight looked back at her friend and shrugged. "It's in a bit of a grey area, but the discoveries that I could make more than excuse any moral failings."
"You just want to have sex with him, don't you?"
" ... no comment."
Dash marched towards Twilight, her countenance stern and gaze resolute. "I'm coming with you."
She recoiled. "But you don't even watch the show!"
"Why is that your main issue with ... " Dash shook her head. "Look, yeah, I don't, but I'd never forgive myself if you end up foalnapping somepony!"
Twilight winced. "I mean ... technically, it would be a kidnapping ... "
"Twi!"
"Fine, fine, you can come! Just try to show some restraint, alright?"
Dash chuckled. "I could say the same to you."
Twilight sighed. "Rainbow, this isn't the time for me to play it safe. Anon might be out there, and if so, he needs my help. Can you imagine being stranded on an alien world, surrounded by perverts and predators?" She eyes took on a determined gleam.
"I would do anything for my husbando, anything, and there's nothing anypony can do to stop me."
Twi pls no
Twilight don’t think with your lady penis You’re not the anime protagonist you’re just the background harem character
RD honestly is more hilarious than Twilight. Her reaction of "So? I've seen weirder shit on the internet when fandoms cross over" is priceless. I do winder just when in the timeline this is though.
oh boy, Looks like Twilights going off the deep end again.
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No idea when lol. I would like to think that Magical Mystery Cure onwards are noncanon, and so base some of my writing around that. Twiggles is an academic, not a politician, and words cannot express my loathing for "Creaturequestria."
Twiggles finding out that her husbando already has a waifu will have hilarious consequences
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That makes Sunset non cannon though, therefore heresy!
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And what is "creatureequestria"?
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The incredibly hamfisted diversity message they glued onto Seasons 8 and 9. Politics aside, it was a wholly uneeded, and frankly uncomfortable, excursion into modern racial politics, something that a fantasy show really doesn't need. Things like Zecora, Buffalo, and the Dragon Migration did those themes much better.
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This comment just made me burst out laughing because technically Twilight could be a main harem protagonist if she tried.
more
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I completely agree.
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Well I'm intrigued lol definently liked and followed
Absolutely haram.
I love it!
Twilight, humans are not real 😉
How dare Anon shack up with some nameless run-of-the-mill mare in some backwater town! I didn't write a 512,339 word self-insert fanfic about me hooking up with a human, just to have a real-life man end up with someone else!
I know My Little Human portrays them as being monogamous to appeal to the fantasy of fillies having an entire stallion all to themselves, but he better herd with me if he doesn't want to get mind-controlled.
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Hush, no spoilers allowed
This is going to be so glorious, it will be the one of the first FiMfictions to enter Sto'vo'kor.
When your husbando turns out to be real, but has been married to some rando for 5 years. That's gonna be painful.
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You can not escape me tinman. Our tastes on stories are too similar
Lol. I'm loving this.
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yeah this is some good shit
Well then.
Hoooooooo boy. My friends what we are about to witness shall go down in history as one of the biggest waifu wars to ever be fought.
Sweet celestia purple smarts is being autistic as heck. I love this fiction already.
Okay I love this. I neeeeed more.
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I would imagine Twilight is more compulsively obsessive than autistic... if she were autistic she would have had problems talking with Rainbow. From observation, Twilight was packing some supplies to attempt to protect a being originally thought to be imaginary from unfounded dangers, more of a thread from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (the Fandom labeling the observed behavior "Twilighting")
Some information from which the observation are based:
Autism spectrum disorder impacts the nervous system.
The range and severity of symptoms can vary widely. Common symptoms include difficulty with communication, difficulty with social interactions, obsessive interests, and repetitive behaviors.
(While Twilight shows obsessive interests and repetitive behaviors, she still has no problems communicating with those around her.
I might not be able to show it behind a screen, but I have observed myself to be autistic to a degree, I just can't say I am clinically autistic due to not having a professional's opinion.)
Obsessive-compulsive disorder is characterized by unreasonable thoughts and fears (obsessions) that lead to compulsive behaviors.
OCD often centers on themes such as a fear of germs or the need to arrange objects in a specific manner.
(The observation in this case show Twilight worrying about the safety and "wellbeing" of a supposed nonexistent being, and is setting herself for a quest to make the fictional object of her desires hers... wouldn't doubt there'd be Anon posters, plushies, and pillows lining every inch of Twi's room.)
Based on the above observations, shows Twilight having symptoms of OCD
Condition Description source: Mayo Clinic
My apologies for biting at the ear.
I'm loving this so far, oh the irony.
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I think the show labeled it as Twilighting first.
I'd let Twilight humannap me.
HAHAHAHAH
Anon, run. Hide. Go now, while you still have time.
It's only the second chapter, and, much like incest in a West Virginia funeral, I'm in like sin.
My housemates are now complaining from how hard I'm laughing.
Suddenly being a stallion in this world is the norm.
Holy Shit! That one mighty Uno reverse card played. A MLP universe with us as cartoon...
Absolutely PRICELESS
This is amazing and hands down the best thing I’ve found on this site.
Anon is a goat, confirmed. Straight from the horse's mouth.
She gonna be upset when she finds out he's already married. Heh, MAR(R)E-ied!
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Did they? Did they really? The buffalo were treated like racism - admitted to once exist, only to never be spoken of again. The dragon migration totally retconned everything that makes dragons cool, by turning them into a bunch of scalie-anthro-pricks. At least Zecora was allowed to exist, but come on. She's tolerated at best, and I get the distinct impression that's because the ponies only have to deal with her once a week, when she comes in to town to raid people's flower gardens for
drugsbulbs, and to make the obligatory stop at Sugarcube Corner.However, if it weren't for the latter seasons, we also wouldn't have some of the best fanimations. That being said, I too agree S2 MLP had some of the series' high water marks, and prefer pre-alicorn Twiggy.
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The Uno reverse card is multiversal
Twi, you're gonna be disappointed when you find out your husbando has a Waifu.
Awe yeah
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I guess she is the Yandure character then.
Ok, that's worth a good laugh, thanks.
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