A crimson halo ringed the sun as it crept behind the shadowed silhouette of the distant Canterhorn. With the stillness and warmth expected of a midsummer night, the humid air bore the chirping of crickets and cicadas, while the first hints of stars shimmered in the clear evening sky. The once-busy town seemed all but empty, fireflies flickered about the golden streetlights, and Anon stared a hole in the little blue horse that had taken him to some sort of life-sized gingerbread house.
"Looks closed to me, Rainbow."
She turned away from the store's darkened windows and shot him a crooked grin.
"That's what they want you to think."
He raised an eyebrow.
"Who's 'they'?"
She snickered.
"You'll see."
It was a delightfully ominous answer, and one that deepened the already gaping pit in his stomach. His grimace apparently reflected this, and Rainbow's features softened.
"This is ... a Ponyville welcoming tradition, yeah, let's go with that. Just trust me, you're gonna love it."
Rainbow then opened the door, paying little mind to the low-hanging closed sign, and held it open with an outstretched wing. Looking back at Anon and Summer, she waved them inside.
"Don't just stand there, come on!"
Summer tapped Anon's elbow, motioning for him to lean down, and whispered in his ear.
"I say we play along, but it's your call. We can leave if you want to."
Though Anon trusted Rainbow about as much as any other friend, he couldn't shake the feeling that someone—or somepony—was lurking around with a baseball bat, just waiting for the perfect opportunity to bludgeon and drag him to a horsey Eyes Wide Shut party. The feeling had bothered him since he got off the train, and had only gotten worse as the day went on, despite the unquestionable warmth and kindness of both the town and its inhabitants. Perhaps he was simply being paranoid—he certainly tried to tell himself that—but his concerns kept niggling away at the back of his mind until they all but overwhelmed him.
In the end, and with no small amount of willpower, he buried his inhibitions and decided to just go along with whatever Rainbow had planned. After all, ponies were a rather amiable lot, and they held friendship as the ultimate good, so the odds of something truly horrible happening to him were, he figured, practically nonexistent.
Anon gave a curt, if forced, nod.
"Alright, but if a witch stuffs me into her oven or something, I'm taking you with me."
Summer tilted her head and narrowed her eyes.
"What was that, some kinda reference? That sounded like a reference."
"Yeah, you know, Hansel and Gretel? Candy house in the woods, trail of breadcrumbs and all that?"
He was met with a blank stare.
"Fucking ABBA's a thing here, but ... " He sighed. "Fine, whatever, just lead the way."
Like an inmate to his execution, he shuffled through the door, swallowing as it clicked shut behind him—the interior was as black as a tomb, stretching out into an infinite nothing. Rainbow forged ahead, disappearing into the shadows, while Anon planted his feet, clinging to the few stubborn beams of light that crept through the shutters. Alarms were ringing in his head, and Summer rubbed up against his side, just as much for her own peace of mind as his.
"Can't say I'm feeling too welcomed, Non."
"Hmm." Anon rested a hand on the small of Summer's back. "Hey Rainbow, you good?"
The question echoed through the darkness, and the only response was a suffocating silence.
"Are we really doing this bit again? That bush from earlier was ... "
"SURPRISE!"
Light suddenly filled the room, revealing a remarkably large crowd of ponies, one that probably shouldn't have gone unnoticed, even if it was pretty dark. A banner reading 'Welcome!' hung suspended from the rafters, and a line of tables covered in sweets ran along the length of the store. Pinkie Pie—who had somehow wedged herself between Anon and Summer—wrapped her forelegs around their shoulders.
"It's so nice to see you again, Nonny! And you too, Summy!"
Summer glowered.
"Don't call me that."
Pinkie giggled, wiping a tear from her eye.
"Ah, good times. It's my honor, and privilege, to officially welcome you to Ponyville!"
Anon tried to distance himself from the mare, but her earth pony strength made doing so somewhat impossible.
"Didn't you already do that?"
"No, no, no, that was the greeting, this is the welcoming." She waved a hoof. "Entirely different things."
"I see."
He didn't.
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" ... Did you know that zebras commit over half of all violent rhymes? ... "
" ... so this bucking dyke just runs up and grabs my snowpity ... "
" ... I wonder what his hoof-spiders feel like ... "
About an hour or two had gone by, and the party was in full swing. Rainbow had thankfully, mercifully, interrupted Pinkie's budding lecture on hospitality with an offered bottle of cider, and it wasn't long before everybody settled into their own little worlds. While Summer and Rainbow talked off to the side, and Pinkie busied herself with all sorts of festive nonsense, Anon was content to sit back, nurse a drink, and engage in some good-natured people watching—there was something about ponies, he thought, that made them particularly entertaining subjects.
Ignoring the stares of some of the greasier mares that decided to attend, he made his way to the door, keen to get some fresh air. It wasn't as if he wasn't having fun—far from it—but something about the situation still rubbed him the wrong way.
Stepping out, he took a moment to appreciate his surroundings. Night had fallen, and the sky was a pale, gentle blue, a full moon shining down and casting the rooftops in a spectral glow. A pony had followed him outside, if the clopping of hooves was any indication, and she plopped down on her flank right alongside him.
"Hey."
He turned towards the mare.
"Oh, hey, you're ... Twilight, right?"
She nodded, nervously rubbing her forelegs together.
"Look, about ... a few months ago, when we visited you." Twilight took a shuddering breath. "I'm sorry if I came across as, um, a little strong. It's just that I'm a big fan, and ... I've always had a bit of a hero worship problem, I guess. If it isn't a human, then it's Starswirl, or the Princess, or ... well, you get the point."
Anon couldn't help but chuckle.
"Hey, it's all good. You're far from the worst, believe me."
"Still, I ... "
He held a hand up.
"Celestia personally showed me her doll collection. Weird fangirling doesn't even faze me at this point."
It took a moment for his words to register.
" ... Princess Celestia is a humare?"
"You mean you didn't know? I thought that's where you got it from, being her student and all."
"Truthfully, she's pretty cagey about her private life. I'll have to bring it up one day, maybe send her a letter ... "
They sat in silence for a moment, and Twilight scuffed a hoof against the ground.
"Hey Anon?"
"Yeah?"
"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"
"Wait, wha - "
A soaked rag wrapped around his head, suspended in a lavender aura, and Anon fell to the ground as darkness consumed him.