There I was. Just your average dude. Career prospects? Dead. Cartoon pony obsession? Crippling. Skin? Green. You know, standard stuff. And there I was crossing the street when, wouldn't you know it, a cargo truck came to a complete stop before proceeding with caution. I was so amazed that I didn't even notice the clearly-indicated construction site I was walking directly into, nor did I notice the open manhole until I'd stepped into it.
So, obviously I didn't die at the bottom of that manhole. Otherwise I wouldn't be narrating right now. Instead, wouldn't you know it, I was transported to a vaguely familiar, conspicuously colourful realm. In the distance I could see a quaint little village - but directly below me, and coming up fast, was a dark, dense forest!
Luckily, I hit every branch on the way down, so I didn't land too hard. But wouldn't you know it, I landed right in the middle of a manticore den! What are the chances, huh?
So there I was - well, I won't bore you with the details. There was a lot of nasty stuff in that forest. I got chased, clawed, bitten, stung, petrified, cursed, haunted, and I even stubbed my toe!
Hours passed from one pursuer to the next, but it seemed I'd finally gotten away. Thick forest canopy made way for a sparser ceiling of woods, through which I could see the deep night sky. The moment I made it onto a meadow hill with soft grass, I just collapsed, totally spent.
And then, after all those hours of suffering, just when I thought I was free, wouldn't you know it...
At least I can lie here and watch it end. But man, does that suck!