The sun is shining, the birds are singing. When Fluttershy stepped out of her cottage it was a perfect summer day. Or at least it would have been if she hadn't come across a certain rainbow-maned mare in her yard. One thing she wasn't expecting to find herself asking today was the odd question...

Why is Rainbow Dash eating her flowers?

Featured: 4/5/18

This story is a sequel to Changeling Courtship Rituals

After many years of battle, Queen Chrysalis has finally defeated Twilight Sparkle.

To Twilight's surprise, she discovers that to changelings, this means they are now married. However, she has some thoughts about this...

***

A reboot/remake of Changeling Courtship rituals, where Twilight reacts in a much more normal way, rather than like a sitcom character.

This story is a sequel to Changeling Courtship Rituals

Queen Chrysalis attacked Canterlot, brainwashed Twilight Sparkle's brother, kidnapped her former foalsitter, defeated her mentor in combat, and conquered her kingdom. She kidnapped the sisters of Twilight's friends, turned them against one another, and tried to drain all of Twilight's magic. Queen Chrysalis has, at every opportunity, done her very best to utterly destroy Twilight Sparkle's life.

For some reason, this has not caused the pony to fall in love with her.

However, due to Twilight's misunderstanding of changeling customs, it does mean they are now married. Twilight eventually managed to tell the Queen the truth, but she forgot that whether it's a kingdom or a heart, changelings conquer.

And since the changeling way of conquest didn't work, Chrysalis is determined to try the pony way. The only problem is, of course, she has no idea what that is. But she knows someone who does: Princess Cadance.

Now, with the absolutely sincere help of her mortal enemy, the pony she once locked in the caves beneath Canterlot while trying to steal her husband on their very wedding day, Queen Chrysalis is going to woo the sister-in-law of that very pony.

Surely this is the most perfect plan ever devised.

***

Proofread by ShutterflyYay.

Takes place roughly after season five (so Starlight Glimmer is running around occasionally)

For years, Twilight Sparkle and Queen Chrysalis have been at each other's throats. Both have experienced victory over the other, and both have experienced defeat. Out of all the creatures in Equestria, none despise each other the way the pony Princess and changeling Queen do. They seemed destined to remain locked in battle forever, or at least until one is finally dead at the hooves of the other. The cruel insults, the vicious loathing, and the powerful spells that have passed back and forth between them at each meeting have become the stuff of legend.

Imagine Twilight's surprise when she finds out changelings consider this dating.

And now they're married.

***

Sequel: Pony Courtship Rituals

***

Some beautiful fanart of the end of chapter three was done by Dmann892; you can see it here.

More awesome fanart, this time from chapter one.

Now with a TvTropes page (obligatory TvTropes warning goes here).

If you want a Russian translation, you can find it here.

There is now a reading of the story on Youtube, which starts here.

There's a little known fact about Bonbon, aka Sweetie Drops. Though she's known as a tough as nails, hard-boiled mare that has stared down monsters, she's also a notorious cuddle bug. Unfortunately, Bonbon, as with most other ponies, is ignorant to this fact. Luckily for her, Adonis is more than happy to bring this closely guarded secret to light.

Princess Twilight Sparkle has been busy, what with dealing with supposedly reformed draconequui, restoring the ancient castle in the Everfree Forest, and making time helping the Cutie Mark Crusaders learn new skills. So when she finally gets a chance to relax, she decides to engage in her favorite pastime.

Reading!

Which would be a lot easier if Rainbow Dash didn't keep showing up and sitting on her. Or near her. And now she's so busy trying to figure out what her friend is up to, that she's losing out on precious reading time!

Will Twilight ever get to finish her book? Is Rainbow Dash pulling off the most elaborate prank in Ponyville history? Will there be a surprise guest appearance by David Pownie? Regrettably the answer to the last question is no, but find out the in the thrilling story: An Inconvenient Dash!

I saw the image used for the cover art and this story just kinda creeped into my head, and refused to leave. But hey, more Twidash is always a good thing right?

The image for the cover art belongs to Strange Danger, at least according to the watermark and derpibooru tag.

New Patch 1.2
Harmony numbers have been increased 20% across all classes.
Grammar corrections provided by the wonderful Applejack-fan.
Twicon Panic Levels have been fixed to be brought in line with current Defcon numbers.
Bug fixes for the Dragonshy raid have been deployed.
New World Event: Discord's Disco Disaster- Discord is up to his old tricks, turning Ponyville and all its inhabitants into 70's disco versions of themselves. Boogie down with your favorite mare or stallion, compete in special dance themed quests, and earn the special seasonal item -Bell-bottom Bogey Pants +5-!

Chrysalis kidnaps Rainbow Dash and holds her for ransom.

This same Rainbow Dash also happens to be engaged to the immensely powerful Alicorn Princess Twilight Sparkle.

Chrysalis is not a very smart changeling.

After losing a bet, Rainbow Dash now has to wear panties for an entire day. This wouldn't be so bad except for the fact she not only has her weather duties, but also has to help out her friends. Let the awkward moments commence!

Pre-Read by: RainbowBob and DbzOrDie

Edited by: Unnamed Pawn, ugugg93, and Apple Fritter

Thanks to FreeHomeBrew for the cover art

Ever since she traveled to the human world, Twilight grew fascinated with humanity and their ability to accomplish technological advances despite having no magic. After studying modern technology for a while, she asks her counterpart and Sunset Shimmer to conduct an experiment with her. They would bring technology to Equestria, get it to work, and share it among their friends.

Update: As of May 31st, this story has begun it's reboot. As such, all previous chapters will be archived and will eventually be replaced by the reboot chapters.

Luna begins to question her understanding of the modern day language when she finds that nopony wants to be gay with her.

Gay
Olde meaning
'Light-hearted and carefree.'

Reading by Skijarama / Tone Shift