Dash Wears Panties

by Rated Ponystar

It Hits The Fan

Rainbow Dash drank the last of her sixteen fruity-tuity milkshakes and slammed it on the counter of Sugarcube Corner. A concerned Mr. Cake asked, “Don’t you think you had enough?”

Rainbow’s response was throwing bits at him and grumbling, “I’ve had enough when I said I had enough. Now give me another. Double watermelon in this one.”

Mr. Cake shook his head and took the bits before going back to make another milkshake. Rainbow Dash rested her head on the counter while wishing her life was over and  that everything would just end. “Worst. Day. Ever.”

“Even worse than the time you got a hive of bees on your wings and couldn’t use them for for two weeks?”

“Yes,” muttered Rainbow Dash before she turned around and saw Pinkie Pie smiling at her.

“Hiya!”

Rainbow Dash grunted in response as Pinkie took a seat next to her friend. “So what’s wrong, Dashie? Why’re ya bluer than usual?”

“I’m having a bad day,” muttered Rainbow, rolling her eyes. She then stood up and glared at Pinkie. “You don’t have some kind of obsession with me too, do you? Nothing romantic or lustful or any kind of hint of being turned on because I’m wearing panties, right?!” Rainbow pointed at the accursed underwear that had been her bane of existence since the whole day started.

“Of course not silly!” giggled Pinkie Pie.

“Oh, thank goodness,” whispered Dash in relief.

“If you were in diapers, however, I’d rut you until Tuesday. Wait, today is Tuesday, so I guess that would mean next Tuesday,” said Pinkie Pie with a smile. Dash felt a little bit of her die inside as she wordlessly got up and started making towards the exit door. “Where are you going?” Pinkie asked.

“I’m going to dig a grave, crawl in, and die. I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.”

“Aw, but I need to make you a funeral party first!” laughed Pinkie. When she saw Dash wasn’t laughing, she stopped giggling and walked over to her best friend. “Hey, what’s wrong? Why so down?”

Dash sighed and took a deep breath before throwing her forelegs up in the air. “This entire day has been crazy! I was dared to wear public underwear, got somepony’s name written on my butt, got shocked, got blood all over me, had to take embarrassing photos, the Wonderbolts are looking for me, and I can’t let them to see that I am in this state! Not to mention I learned that Fluttershy is a panty freak in love with me, and I got kissed by Twilight which is making me really question my sexuality! On top of all that, I’ve got a really really bad rash in a very uncomfortable place!”

“Well, for the last one I suggest baby powder, but I can also help with the second to last one!” said Pinkie, cheerfully.

“Oh, really? How?” asked Rainbow, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, you just need to go on a date with somepony of either gender. If it’s a stallion and you like it you're into guys. And if you're not, you're into mares!” answered Pinkie.

“What if I like both?”

“Then you just need to get laid.”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Whatever, Pinkie. At this point I don’t care what happens to me anymore. I’ll date whoever once I get these stinkin’ panties off of me.”

Pinkie took out a megaphone and said, “Okie doki loki!” With that she was gone in a flash.

Wait, what was that megaphone for? thought Rainbow Dash.

Her answer soon came.

“HEY EVERYPONY! RAINBOW DASH WILL GO OUT WITH WHO EVER STEALS HER PANTIES OFF HER FLANK!”

Dash’s eyes widened. “Oh... buck... me...”

Pinkie’s message was heard all across Ponyville as everypony stopped staring at the fight between Derpy and Fluttershy as both turned towards the direction of Sugarcube Corner. Fluttershy’s eyes lit up as a pink blush decorated her cheeks. “Rainbow’s panties? Date?” In less then a split second, Fluttershy was already flying towards the store screaming, “MINE!”

“Hey! What about our fight!” shouted Derpy, but was ignored. She then raised her eyebrows in shock. “Oh my gosh! I forgot about Rainbow and her bleeding butt! Hold on, Dash! Derpy will save you and your behind!”

Applejack watched as Derpy flew off right behind Fluttershy. She wasn’t the only one as various pegasi of both genders also realized they could get a date or own the panties of one of the hottest ponies in town. Earth ponies started galloping as well while unicorns levitated themselves or teleported, despite Applejack never having seen them doing it before. Pretty soon everypony in market was rushing down the streets, knocking each other out of the way, all towards Sugarcube Corner.

All alone in the middle of a destroyed market, Applejack only had one thought come to her head. What have Ah created?

“You guys heard that right?” asked Spitfire as she and her fellow Wonderbolts came out of the hospital; Fleetfoot’s backside covered in bandages.

“Yeah, it sounds like Rainbow Dash is offering herself,” said Soarin with a raised eyebrow. “Is this the same ‘mare of integrity, respect, and dedication’ you were talking about?”

Spitfire blushed and rubbed the back of her neck. “I... I’m sure there is a very good explanation for all of this. We’ve just gotta find her and get the answer. Right, Fleetfoot?”

“Has anypony ever wondered if Princess Celestia farts solar flares when she’s feeling gassy?” asked a woozy Fleetfoot, her eyes glazed over and spaced out as she slurred in her speech. “But if that’s true then... does Princess Luna fart moon beams? Dude, I’m so high.”

Spitfire facehoofed, “Ugh, I think they over did it on the morphine. She can’t fly, much less talk.”

“Whoa....” said Fleetfoot looking at her hooves. “I’m like some kind of... horse thingy... far out...”

“I’ll watch over her, you go check on Rainbow Dash,” said Soarin as he put a wing over Fleetfoot who blushed and started licking it, much to Soarin’s disgust.

“Hmmm, taste like radishes....”

Spitfire nodded and took to the skies in a flash, leaving her two comrades behind. Soarin sighed and turned to Fleetfoot. “Alright, Fleet. Let’s get you back inside and wait for you to start thinking straight.”

“The sky is purple... it’s pretty...”

“Yes it is. Yes it is.”

“Did ya hear that girls?” asked Apple Bloom as she took off her sister’s orange colored panties and put them in the pile that was on the “yes” side. They had snuck into her sister’s room after using bobby pins to unlock the door. So far they had a good big pile of panties to wear while the rest were tossed around the floor.

Apple Bloom never knew her sister had such a big collection.

“Sounds like whoever steals Dash’s panties is gonna be getting a date with her. That’s sounds so romantic!” sighed Sweetie Belle.

“How is that any bit romantic? Sounds gross and disturbin’, like those fanfics Daring Do fans make and submit to that fan magazine. Especially the ones with Daring and that filly companion of her’s. She’s like ten,” said Apple Bloom as she shivered at the thought of them. She then raised another pair of pink with a bright green rose in the middle. “What do ya think about these? Think we would look sexy in this?”

“Maybe Scootaloo would fit best in them, what do you think?” asked Sweetie Belle as she turned around towards her pegasus friend. However, she raised an eyebrow at the sight of her friend. “Scootaloo?”

“Hey, Scoots, ya alright?”

Scootaloo was currently holding a red and blue pair of panties while her mouth was wide open and her eyes spaced out. Sweetie Belle raised a hoof and waved it in her face, but no response.

“What do ya think she’s thinking about?” asked Apple Bloom.

Standing on top of a thousand bodies, all groaning with pain, stood the warrior known as Scootaloo as she held in her hooves the main prize. The rainbow colored panties of Rainbow Dash, personally worn on her butt. Rainbow Dash, flustered and staring lovingly at her hero, hugged Scootaloo and nuzzled her. “Oh, Scootaloo! I knew you would win! My heart has always been yours and this proves that we are destined to be with each other!”

Scootaloo smiled and held Rainbow Dash close as she whispered, “The panties are nice. The date is nice. But I’d like another reward right now.”

Rainbow Dash blushed as the two inched closer to the point where their lips were barely apart... and then...

Popping the cork, Scootaloo poured the grape juice into both her and Rainbow Dash’s glasses as they finished their meal. Straightening her tux, Scootaloo and Dash clinked their glasses and drank. Wiping her mouth, Dash sighed and stared at Scootaloo. “You know, you are the most awesome filly ever. Just... so cool.”

“Not as cool as you, Rainbow Dash,” whispered Scootaloo as she held out her hoof. The two touched hooves and smiled at each other.

Dash then stood up, ripped off her dress, and revealed herself to be only wearing panties. Grinning, she shouted, “Take me now, Scootaloo! Fly with me unto highest point of nirvana I can feel!”

Scootaloo’s grin widened as she leapt from the table, tackled Dash onto a nearby bed that came out of nowhere and...

(Courtesy of the SJW’s of Tumbler)

Looking into her bride’s eye, Scootaloo finally said the final words. “I do.”

Princess Celestia smiled and said, “Then by the power vested in me, I declare you husband and wife. You may kiss.”

The entire church applauded as Rainbow Dash, dressed in white, removed her veil and lowered her head as Scootaloo raised her own head to...

“Rainbow! Speak to me!” shouted Scootaloo as she held her bleeding bride. The destruction of the church was everywhere, ponies crying out in pain or for the loss of so much life. Scootaloo turned around and saw so many of her friends lying in their own pools of blood from the multiple gunshots. Sweetie Belle, Fluttershy, Princess Luna, Twist, Rarity and more all gone to their eternal rest.

She could still remember crime lord Diamond Tiara’s final words on how she would let her live so she would know pain. Diamond Tiara. The filly’s name brought only rage when she thought of it. But none of that mattered as much as the dying love of her life in her hooves.

Rainbow Dash, with a small smile and blood trickling down her nose, slowly caressed Scootaloo’s cheek. “Goodbye, squirt. And... always... be... cool...”

Her smile didn’t fade even as she closed her eyes and went limp. Tears leaked from Scootaloo’s eyes as she screamed, “Diamond Tiaraaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!”

*** And Now A Commercial From Our Friends Of Japan ***

*** We Now Continue With Scootaloo’s Mind Theater ***

Scootaloo, clad in a billowing trench coat, stepped into the abandoned warehouse where she saw her: Diamond Tiara. Sitting on her comfy chair at the top level of the warehouse, surrounded by fifty or so unarmed goons.

Stroking her pet white cat, Diamond TIara gave a mocking laugh. “So the blank flank has come to join her loser wife in heaven. Well, if it’s a death wish you want I shall be more than happy to provide it.” She stomped her hooves three times and the lights came on revealing... ninjas!

Hundreds of them!

Scootaloo growled, drew two handguns, and shouted, “You’re gonna need a thousand more pajama wearing idiots to stop me!”

“Kill her!” ordered Diamond Tiara as the ninjas charged.

Scootaloo screamed as she raised her guns and....

(Courtesy of *Bang*)

Thud

AN: We apologize for that. The current editor has just been shot. We will now continue without any interruptions

Scootaloo looked upon the thousands of corpses she had taken care of herself. Machine gun in hoof with one last magazine, she scoured the bodies for any sign of Diamond Tiara. Little did she know that Diamond TIara was right behind her, ready to take her brains out with a single shot from her pistol.

Suddenly, Scootaloo turned around and opened fired. Dozens of bullets pierced Diamond Tiara’s flesh. Her agonizing screams echoed as she was kicked back through a window.

“Curse you, blank flank!” cried out Diamond Tiara as her last words before she landed on a gas tank that blew up upon impact.

Scootaloo looked down at the flames and muttered, “Have a nice trip, Diamond Tiara. In hell.” With that said she took out Dash’s panties, the ones that started their romance, and kissed them. “And rest in peace, my love.” She released them and let the wind take them into the sky. The sky her loved one cared for so much.

With nothing left, Scootaloo walked out of the abandoned warehouse and into the sunset. Her revenge complete.

“Scootaloo?” asked Apple Bloom for the fifth time before Scootaloo finally responded and threw away the panties. They landed squarely on Applebloom’s face as the pegasus turned to run.

Leaping out the window, Scootaloo shouted, “Panties! Here I come!”

The two crusaders just looked at each other in confusion.

Rainbow Dash rushed out of store just as Pinkie finished and held her by the shoulders. “What the hay, Pinkie Pie!”

“What? I figured it was best to let everypony know that you're single and looking for a special somepony!” said Pinkie with a smile.

“And the grabbing my panties?!”

“You said you would date when they came off. This way two birds are nailed with one stone.!”

Dash was about to yell at her again when she suddenly felt the ground quaking. She slowly turned around and felt all the color leave her face when she saw the size of the crowd coming towards them. Somepony shouted, “There’s Rainbow Dash! Her butt is ours!”

Dash could only do the one brave thing she could do in a situation like this.

Run like a little scared filly screaming for her mommy.