• Member Since 2nd Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen Monday

Cloud Hop


Chrysalis kidnaps Rainbow Dash and holds her for ransom.

This same Rainbow Dash also happens to be engaged to the immensely powerful Alicorn Princess Twilight Sparkle.

Chrysalis is not a very smart changeling.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 265 )

To her credit, Chrysalis looked genuinely confused. "You mean, becoming a princess doesn't automatically make you cute and adorable?"

Ummm...Chrysalis, you do remember that you are a shapeshifter, right?

3000 years later, this error would throw off a pony's clock by two seconds, causing him to just miss his train, preventing him from meeting his soulmate, and triggering his slow descent into madness.

I am somewhat concerned by the rate of progress in Equestria if ponies are still using trains 3000 years from now.

Originally this story was much darker and involved swearing, death, and the actual genocide of the entire changeling race. I toned it down a lot. Now the changelings are just... sleeping.

Yes, sleeping. Forever.


That turned out better than I though it would.:pinkiesick::pinkiesick::twilightoops:

This is absolutely ridiculous. I love it. :pinkiecrazy:

this error would throw off a pony's clock by two seconds, causing him to just miss his train, preventing him from meeting his soulmate, and triggering his slow descent into madness. An unfortunate, but necessary sacrifice

Wow.... it was at this point my chuckles became full blown laughter that barely stopped long enough to breath for the rest of the story.


"Looks like I'm blasting off again!"

No, see, it's a laser train. They use those in the future!

Also, 'Alicorn Insertion Protocol' is the name of my new band.

10/10 would clop to this

This is absolutely MENTAL! I love it!

... I don't get it.:applejackunsure:

Celestia considered going after Twilight and trying to explain that a Class 5 magical detonation was not going to solve her problems

But, Celestia, don't you know the rule?

As the size of an explosion increases, the number of problems it is incapable of solving quickly approaches zero!

Um Twilight ripping open other dimensions sounds like a bad idea.

Rainbow NOOOOOO! Don't get that close to the screen you are going to blind yourself.

The more things you blow up the less problems you have. I like it.

Wtf did I just not read? I can already see tell...


I am now terribly tempted to write an epilogue where Celestia scolds Twilight and she counters with this quote.

As a matter of fact, that was the most "Quite" thing I've read in a while.
Good Work:twilightsmile:

This is just beautiful, a perfect example of perfectness.

Would read again and ask for a sequel / 10

Literally every single paragraph I read, this happened:



:ajbemused: :facehoof:


:rainbowhuh: :facehoof:


Not even kidding...
Just... Wat...


Meanwhile, in a far distant universe, an androgynous elf wizard with purple hair displays a small smile, while experimenting a feeling of joyful pride for no apparent reason.


Got a problem, Equestria?

Throw Twilight at it, things only escalate from there.

So, this is the opener to season 5, right?

This story is hilarious I laughed the whole way through the story. THERE NEEDS TO BE A SEQUAL.:flutterrage::twilightsheepish:

At the same time, this is both ridiculously bad and ridiculously good

Equestrian society will collapse in 1000 years because of the advent of Neo Nightmare Moon. In 2900 years, the train will be reinvented.
In 3000 years, the train will be electric.

... I expected to almost die from laughter, but I only got one or two chuckles. I guess random comedy just isn't for me.

I laughed when she cured cancer. :rainbowlaugh:

I have seen a lot of stories, but this one is by far, the funniest thing I have ever read. Oh and the cancer made me cry, so, good for you friend.

This is a WONDERFULLY Random and slightly insane fic.

I got a total Douglas Adams-style vibe from this. :rainbowhuh:

...okay it's more of a "Douglas Adams dancing like Psy in the 'Gangnam Style' music video" vibe. :derpyderp2:

....and is it really bad that the chapter title is really... I mean it's....

:trollestia: ....oh dear, I've been standing in a gutter all this time. I really need to get out of the gutter. :derpytongue2:

Twilight arrived at her destination, and the sky was filled with ominous clouds swirling above her. Excessive amounts of lightning danced across her lithe body as she focused her magic, and bent the fabric of the universe to her will. Her eyes glowed with eldritch power, and a massive runic sigil began tracing itself behind her.
"Ҍәҥ Ӽԑἣ Ԅѳҥ ѳҌὗἣ!"

Daaaaamn, Twilight.

It felt a little bit dry at the end, I can't imagine Twilight not caring about screwing up with banishment, also: sleeping? (Does not fit with the rest of the story)
Awaiting sequel.

The scene with Celestia had me laughing my ass off. I could totally picture that happening and Celestia being calm as a cucumber.:rainbowwild:

Comment posted by Yappyjack deleted Jul 11th, 2014

*snrk* Not sure what I just read, but it was hilarious XD

Comment posted by Yappyjack deleted Jul 11th, 2014

Poor Chrysalis, all she ever wanted was to rule over everyone and everything with an evil titanium fist. :fluttercry:

Twilight Sparkle is played by Terry Crews for Old Spice Body Wash.

And so I remember that Comedy is not my thing.
I decided to try it since the description made me laugh. From what I understand of Comedy, you did well, so props to you. :twilightsmile:

...I enjoyed this more than I should have, the fact that I just spent ages watching playthroughs of the Stanley Parable might help though. ANYWAY, this was fun.

You do realize that the story's description states that Twilight and Rainbow are engaged, right? How would you know this was going to be funny if you didn't even read the description?

And why is such an easily ignored detail keeping you from reading something you already stated you were interested in regardless? You could always just, I dunno, pretend that Twi and RD are both engaged to somepony else and were planning a double wedding of sorts. And Twi could have gone this mad about the kidnapping because it threw a wrench in her plans. After all, we all know how meticulous she has to be when it comes to planning.

Also, as for "What is with us people?" We like romance. Not too much of a stretch there. We like these characters. Also not that odd. Thus it makes sense that we would like to see these characters in romantic situations. There's nothing wrong with that. Love is a beautiful thing, and also something that a lot of people have loads of fun writing and reading about. I suggest you try to remember which fandom you are in before you go around judging people about what they like.

Anyways, on topic, I will make an attempt to read this later since I spent most of my free time before work typing the response above. :twilightblush:

Princess Celestia, Over a thousand years membership of the "i just dont give a buck" society

Chrysalis sneezed. "Sorry, I'm allergic to Mary Sues."

All my keks:rainbowlaugh:

This was simply beautiful :rainbowlaugh:

I'm surprised I understood any of this. :pinkiehappy::derpytongue2:

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