Paul's Thursday Reviews CCLXXIII · 9:01pm Nov 18th, 2021
Before we go anywhere: Cerulean Voice's family needs a helping hand.
So for the past couple of months I’ve been trying to make a decision on how to get to LTUE this coming February. Sure, I could drive, but it’ll be February in friggen Utah and I’m from the sub-tropics; I have no idea how to drive in snow or on ice and I don’t think the hills and valleys of the Rocky Mountains is the place to learn. I could fly, which would be cheaper, but then I’m missing all the countryside; if I’m going to visit a geography I’m entirely unfamiliar with, I’d like to see it. Plus with the aviation industry in such a state of flux there’s no guarantee that any flight I book now would still be available when the time comes to actually board the plane.
Then yesterday, while reading a story, I had an epiphany: what if I took the train?
Trains are a lot more expensive in the U.S. than flying is and take a lot longer. Buuut I’d get to actually see the land I’m passing through, which is a big bonus for me. I don’t have to worry about learning to drive in unsafe conditions. I’m not worried about trains being late, as I have a monopoly on patience and am more than capable of entertaining myself in the meantime. I get the novelty of the act, which would surely help in the future should I ever decide to write about such an experience. Heck, there’s even a train stop in Provo! So the only thing I’d really have to fret over is transportation once I’m in town.
Despite all these seeming positives, there’s one big negative: I’ve never traveled by train before. I did in Japan, but the U.S. and Japan rail systems are wholly different beasts, and I never stayed overnight on a train. Simply put, I don’t know what I’m getting into. For all I know the service is crap, the A/C and heating are perpetually broken, and the food would make even Zesty Gourmand green in the cheeks. I really like the idea of taking a train for this little vacation, but I have no experience.
So the question: anyone here ever taken Amtrak before? Coach or sleeper? Opinions/reviews are welcome.
Speaking of reviews...
Stories for This Week:
Inflorescence by Reptilicus
The Mistress of Dreams by McPoodle
Menace to Propriety by PatchworkPoltergeist
Mission of Mercy by Rose Quill
Total Word Count: 175,141
Rating System
Why Haven't You Read These Yet?: 1
Pretty Good: 1
Worth It: 1
Needs Work: 1
None: 0
Inflorescence
106,571 Words
By Reptilicus
For some time now, Flutteshy has been nursing a rare and exotic flower in the Everfree Forest. When Discord points out that the flower was probably made by Celestia many centuries ago, Fluttershy’s curiosity drives her to invite Princess Twilight to study it. Their trip together through the Everfree ends up revealing a lot more than the hidden origins of a mere flower…
This begins with Twilight getting a wingboner over Fluttershy’s extensive botanical vocabulary… without knowing what a wingboner is. That’s right, Twilight gets turned on when Fluttershy starts talking science. It’s every bit as amusing and adorkable as you might think.
So at first it’s about Fluttershy and Twilight studying the flower and, *ahem*, each other. Which was fine. Great, even!
Then we’ve got Pinkie having always had a crush on Rainbow but refusing to act. And then we learn that Rarity’s been in Canterlot on business for two months and Applejack’s so depressed over it she’s started drinking and lingering around the train station waiting for her, er, friend to come home.
That’s right, this is one of those perfect circle shipping stories where each of the Mane Six ends up with another one of the Mane Six. On the one hand, I find the idea ludicrous due to sheer improbability. On the other, romantics don’t give a rat’s ass about such petty things as “improbability”. On the metaphorical third hand, it’s got the OTP, so probability can go fly a kite.
Assuming you can get over the perfect shipping circle presented – or that your ship isn’t present, I suppose – you may find a worthwhile tale here. Reptilicus is smart enough to make the story about more than just romance, adding in other elements in order to sweeten the pot for the poor, unenlightened non-shippers among us.
Those additional elements are pretty interesting in their own right. We’ve got Rainbow Dash trying to be a mother to Scootaloo, having taken her in permanently prior to the story’s start. This was both awkward and endearing. Awkward because apparently Reptilicus places the CMC as so young they need special care and attention, such as Rainbow literally carrying Scoots around in a baby carrier, to say nothing of them not understanding the concept of sex. I don’t know about you guys, but I always imagined the CMC being way too old for that kind of depiction, even when the show started. But it’s still endearing as we watch Rainbow constantly looking out for her new charge and battling her own feelings of inadequacy, referring to Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rarity for advice on how to be a better parental figure.
Add to that Spike’s view of his relationship with Twilight. This isn’t like a lot of stories I read, where Spike doesn’t know what to think in this regard and they’re both tiptoeing around the subject. No, in this story Twilight and Spike are overtly acting like a mother and son from the get-go. It’s nothing like we see in the show, and yet it is somehow pleasant to see. Also, Spike and Angel coming to terms about their respective mares being a ‘thing’ was a nice touch.
Then we’ve got Twilight’s feelings towards Celestia. This one was a bit odd to me, as it doesn’t come up until the story’s practically over, and when it does it comes in a rush, complete with all caps shrieking at the top of Twilight’s lungs. I would have appreciated it if Reptilicus had kept this as a subtle element of the story from the beginning instead of throwing it in there seemingly from nowhere. That being said, it’s not a bad show once it gets started. This isn’t about Twilight seeing Celestia as a mother figure or role model (although the subject does come up), it’s about how Celestia has been treating her since the first episode. I appreciated it a lot more than I thought I would.
Then of course we’ve got Discord, who brings his own brand of character growth and trouble. I really liked his addition to this story, which showcases how very alien his thought processes are compared to the average pony. His little conversation with Twilight above the streets of Canterlot was one of the highlights of the story IMO.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention Luna, who certainly has her moments. Like Discord, she’s hardly a major player in the events, even if her actions did act as the catalyst to a few things. Still, what little we do see of her is pleasant and interesting. It should be noted that Reptilicus considers the comics canon for this story, and thus uses Rarity’s time as the Nightmare to do some light (and frustratingly offscreen) bonding between her and Luna.
Okay, so the story’s got a lot going on. It’s by no means a perfect melding of ideas, with some of the topics feeling tangential or superfluous, but at last they’re all interesting, which is more than I can say for a lot of stories that try this kind of thing. The story suffers from a number of grammatical and stylistic issues, indicating that the author didn’t do much in terms of cleaning the story up after it was written. An editor is desperately needed, but if you’ve read my other reviews for this author then you know that’s par for the course. None of it stood out to me as deal-breaking, but I can understand if some people find the writing too much to get through.
So, overall? I liked it. I liked it quite a bit. Reptilicus is one of those authors with some great ideas and a strong storytelling talent that is sadly held back by their grammatical/stylistic difficulties. This story is a great demonstration of that. It’s a shame they apparently left the site in 2018, because I think with more practice they could have produced some real gems.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Antaboga. — Pretty Good
Vaguely Familiar. — Worth It
The Mistress of Dreams
23,230 Words
By McPoodle
Sequel to Accelerando
The Mane Six and Vinyl Scratch have been trapped in a dream state by the evil Dragon Emperor (nb4 Torch: this series was written before he was a character). Gradually, they’ve been traversing the dream of each pony to help them ‘wake up’ so that they can face the Emperor. With Vinyl, Twilight, Pinkie, Rainbow, and Applejack free, they now move on to Rarity. Yet Rarity has something none of the others did: she's a lucid dreamer.
This one was at once interesting, but also a bit strange. Kind of like Pinkie’s dream. The world Rarity creates for her friends is of a stereotypical “the worst of capitalism” scenario, intentionally created to be so ridiculous and beyond realism that the Mane Six (well, most of them) instantly recognize it to be a dream. Which was the point. The strange thing about this story is that it doesn’t seem to do much.
Oh, yes, there’s a big new world to explore, but we barely do so. Sure, there’s some character growth, but it doesn’t really have a lot to do with the dream. Okay, there’s a villain, but we never do anything with him. For as grand as McPoodle tries to make this one out to be with its ideas and imagery, as a story it’s a big bag of “not a lot happened”. Even the proposed ‘purpose’ of Rarity’s dream – namely training the Mane Six to prepare for their fight with the Emperor – is all but skipped, both in terms of what we see and any actual, realistic amount of training they might have performed in the time this story allots to them.
This felt like a huge missed opportunity. The ideas for this story, especially in relation to Rarity and her plans, are genuinely great, but McPoodle doesn’t give them the attention they are warranted. This could have been the masterpiece of the series, and we’re limited to this? Poor form, author. We ended up with less a story and more a bridge between stories, and that’s a shame.
I’ll put this one on the middle ground. Again, I really like the idea of it, I just wish McPoodle had bothered to deliver the goods.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
The Invisible Hairless Ape — WHYRTY?
The Perfect Little Village of Ponyville — WHYRTY?
Masquerade — Pretty Good
Accelerando — Pretty Good
Menace to Propriety
44,189 Words
By PatchworkPoltergeist
Sequel to Diminishing Returns
What was supposed to be a delightful weekend of stepmother/stepdaughter bonding turns into Diamond Tiara being bored while watching Spoiled Rich work. But she’s got a (literal) contract with her stepmother: if Diamond is on her best behavior throughout the day, she can get any pet she desires. Spoiled soon comes to regret that agreement when Diamond’s eyes settle upon the most unpleasant dove in the history of thoroughbreds.
Oh-ho, but this was delightful. When Diamond Tiara spots the most klutzy and ungraceful dove ever, she knows she has to have him. What follows is an endless stream of negotiations, scheming, and outright fighting as she works against Spoiled to keep the bird and, once that victory is attained, endure its quirks. The dove – Menace II Society – is quite the character, but if anypony can work with him, it’s DT.
Yet this isn’t just a story about a cantankerous, troublesome bird that might be on the verge of death. No, this is a story about Diamond Tiara and Spoiled Rich. It’s always been rocky, so much so that they are both convinced of the other’s general hatred for them. Yet we know from the previous story: Spoiled loves Diamond. Genuinely and without qualifications. She just has no idea how to show it.
The end result is a long struggle session of the two learning more about one another and what they mean to each other whilst dealing with an uncooperative new member of the family. The bird’s antics combined with an ever-witty narrative cement the building blocks of a wonderful tale of character and relationship growth. I loved every word.
The best part is that you need to have no understanding whatsoever of anything that’s come before to grasp what’s happening in this story. It survives perfectly well all on its own. So if that’s making you hesitate, don’t. My one and only complaint is that there’s no sequel to continue this delightful universe.
I believe this is the only story I’ve read so far that explores the relationship of Spoiled Rich and Diamond Tiara, and it has set the bar high.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
A Diamond and a Tether — WHYRTY?
The Silver Standard — WHYRTY?
Diminishing Returns — Pretty Good
Mission of Mercy
1,151 Words
By Rose Quill
Sequel to Something That Needed to be Done
Fluttershy takes it upon herself to deliver a care package to the Sirens.
As is typical of this author, there’s not much to this story. Fluttershy delivers a care package. Adagio tries to refuse. Fluttershy’s Stare and Sonata’s hunger change her mind by force. Story over with no lessons learned or problems resolved.
Has human Fluttershy ever used the Stare? I’m thinking back on it and I can’t recall a time in EqG where this has happened, although I’ve had zero experience with the comics. It just struck me as curious; with it being such a fan-favorite element of hers, you’d think it would have come up somehow.
Moving on: this is a very short… uh… scene. I hesitate to call it a ‘story’ on account of it not resembling one. I’m still not sure why Rose Quill writes these little events like this, and this one was even less of a story than usual. I imagine most people will look at it and be like “that’s it?” I wouldn’t blame them. At least the author’s consistent.
Still, I intend to move on to the sequel. That at least has the wordcount to suggest that it will, in fact, be a story and maybe even resolve the ongoing problem. But this one in particular did nothing for me, and the manner of it is such that I’m not sure it holds much value on its own.
Bookshelf: Needs Work
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Tactics — Worth It
Walk in the Darkness — Worth It
Got a Minute? — Worth It
Succor — Worth It
Something That Needed to be Done — Worth It
Stories for Next Week:
Spirals and Spices by THEJamiboi
Raremageddon by Knight of the Raven
And That Made all the Difference by Between Lines
Soarin's Pet Rock by Beware The Carpenter
The Knight and the Knave by Trick Question
Love Is Blind; Friendship Closes Its Eyes by Bico
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You'll be coming to LTUE? Excellent! I will definitely see you there!
I do not have any remotely recent experience with train travel, however, so I can't advise there.
Meanwhile, I moved to Japan so I could work by communiting via public transportation and I was placed in a position that requires me to drive.
That event seems fun, but communiting by train in the US is not something I even though was possible these days. I'd say if you can afford it, might be worth trying out unless you can find a YouTube review of it that says otherwise.
I did take a train once to get to Baltimore for BronyCon. I want to say it was Amtrak? It was a very short trip, less than an hour, I didn't have to deal with things like getting food or sleeping, so I can't offer anything on that front. The train did seem rather nice though, I can't remember having anything to complain about from the experience.
"Menace to Propriety" was great. I love that whole series by that author.
Thanks so much for the review!
I have done the 'See the USA' Amtrak pass. I did have a sleeper car as it was for me and the wife in our before children phase. Even in coach, the seats are not that bad to sleep in.
Sleeper car includes meals, which is a savings compared to paying per meal. Meals on the train compare to Airline Business Class meals. Riding in coach, you can add a cooler to your luggage and eat from that. Most stops are long enough to grab something nearby, if they are open then.
The staff on Amtrak are rather nice. Happy to point out up coming sites to see as the train moves along. The sleeper staff will make you think you are flying Business Class.
it is good to be flexible as Amtrak rides freight line rails, and does tend to run late as the distance increases.
5608866
The Silver Standard is one of the greatest fanfics ever written and I’ll fight anyone who dares to disagree.
5608807
I figured since they'll be publishing my short story I might as well go see it. Plus I didn't take a single vacation in 2021 and I'm overdue. Plus Plus it's an opportunity to meet others with my interests in the flesh. I wanted to join a writer's club in my area but they're all meeting online because COVID.
Just wish the darn thing wasn't in February...
5608831
Requires commuting by car? What, is it way out in the countryside? If you have to drive to get somewhere in Japan, there has to be some unusual circumstances involved.
5608866
5609031
The Silver Standard was indeed a great story, and Menace to Propriety also great, although perhaps in different ways. I'm actually quite sad that I seem to have read every story in this particular series.
5609055
I don't think you have covered And Yet, What Riches Still Await yet, though it's more of a prologue to those stories. Might help you understand Spoiled more.
5608842
5609016
This is certainly encouraging. Online reviews are never reliable; I find that the people who most have a desire to write them are the ones who had bad experiences, which can make the reviews lean artificially towards the negative. Alternatively, the people do get hired to write glowing reviews.
I'm still undecided, but I'm leaning more and more towards trying the train. I'm considering going coach for the shorter leg of the journey, which would have me leaving late at night and arriving early the next morning, then taking a sleeper for the second part which is over 24 hrs. With plenty of vacation days saved up I should have no problems with the extra time it'll take to get where I'm going.
5609056
I'll have to give it a go, then.
5609031
And when we of the Royal Canterlot Library had a panel to select the fandom's greatest stories at the final Bronycon, I championed it with one of my 3 picks.
5609083
It's also one of the only stories I deemed good enough to warrant being featured on my user page. I've been tempted to re-read it lately... again.
5609086
Also, seconding that recommendation of the prequel "And Yet, What Riches Await." Same continuity, and a very good, sympathetic Spoiled Milk.
5609083
Once upon a time I stumbled upon the There Can Be Only One event page on RCL and added the majority of the sixteen nominated stories (ones I hadn't read, of course) into my RIL list. So indeed it's thanks to you that I got to read this wonderful, wonderful piece of art and then spend 13 months translating it into Chinese. You threw my life completely off course and I can't thank you enough for it.
5609086
Please do but maybe sometime early next year because I've also been providing some proofreading for PatchworkPoltergeist while translating The Silver Standard and I expect we can finish the work one or two months later. The changes are, to be fair, hardly noticeable, but still I'll proudly say that I helped making the greatest pony fiction even (just ever ever so slightly) better.
5609054
Closest train station is 10-15 minutes by car. I'm 田舎 as heck. I don’t mind it though when comparing my commute back in Texas.