Paul's Thursday Reviews CCLXXV · 9:00pm Dec 9th, 2021
*glares at phone* What do you mean it’s going to hit 82 degrees today? It’s December, Celestia, you can turn it down a notch!
Stupid Texas weather…
Nothing much to talk about today folks. Only bit of news is that something’s going to show up in your feeds sometime this week after I do a bit of touch ups. Keep your eyes peeled.
Let’s get on with the reviews, shall we?
Stories for This Week:
Idbow Dash by An Unimpressive
Kaidan by Lupine Infernis
A Method to his Madness by Luna-tic Scientist
The Thirty Minute Dash by Esle Ynopemos
Total Word Count: 250,782
Rating System
Why Haven't You Read These Yet?: 1
Pretty Good: 2
Worth It: 1
Needs Work: 0
None: 0
Idbow Dash
3,638 Words
By An Unimpressive
While practicing her routine for her Wonderbolts application, Rainbow runs into a magical ‘elf owl’. The owl offers Dash a reward: for the next twenty-four hours, nothing she does will be remembered by anypony. She’s got one day to do whatever she wants with zero consequences.
It is said that the greatest test of our integrity and nature as individuals is how we behave when we think nobody is watching. In a sense, that’s exactly the kind of test Rainbow undergoes here.
I was expecting her to perform a lot of silly, goofy, if not outright mean acts in a long montage before she learns her lesson at the end. Instead this story is all about the lesson. Kind of a disappointment, but only due to my expectations. The story is still decent overall, even if it feels a smidge unrealistic at times.
Honestly. A magical ‘elf owl’. And she just believed it. I’m not sure if that’s too dumb to be believed or perfectly in character for Rainbow Dash. I don’t know about you guys, but if I ran into a goose that could talk and offered me a billion dollars, I think I’d want to know where the strings lead first, aside from checking the goose for a hidden speaker & camera.
An Unimpressive takes this one in directions I never expected, including an entirely random encounter with Lightning Dust and Dash thinking about Gilda out of nowhere. The meeting with Spitfire was easily the highlight of the story, whereas the ending felt like false promises of more to come. Your enjoyment of the story will likely depend upon your ability to go with the flow and not question too much of it.
Not bad, but I’ve certainly seen better by this author.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Twilight, Revised — WHYRTY?
Get Thyselves a Room — Worth It
Kaidan
40,557 Words
By Lupine Infernis
Twilight and her friends, along with Trixie and Starlight, get together one dark night to share spooky stories. They are having a “kaidan”, in which sixteen stories are told before sixteen candles, after each of which a candle must be blown out. It is said that strange things can happen once the final candle is snuffed…
Now this was my kind of horror anthology. It’s got creepy stalkers, murderous katamari, eldritch entities in the sky, and quite a few instances of the Weird. Lupine Infernis demonstrates a wonderful awareness of how to make horror work, and I greatly appreciate that. It’s got atmosphere, it’s got setup, it’s got variety. Best of all is the conclusion of each story, in which the girls discuss them and, to a certain degree, the nature of horrors in general (Starlight being the major component in that aspect).
I had two predictions regarding how the final story would go based on all this, and one of them turned out to be correct. But this is not a case of predictability being a bad thing. On the contrary; every story was independently strong, and the ending instead demonstrated to me that the author and I are of similar minds towards this whole “horror” thing. How could I not be pleased?
Also, I can’t help but note what I think is a reference to a certain Rarity-centric PoweredByTea story. If it was a reference, it was extremely subtle, a “blink and you’ll miss it” thing. Upon catching it, and assuming it was a reference, I must wonder how many other references might have been hidden in there and totally missed by yours truly?
I couldn’t really choose a favorite out of these, and I liked all of them to some degree. Horror aficionados will find a lot to love. So glad I read this right before Halloween. So sad I couldn’t publish the review until December. Oh, well.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Forget me Not — WHYRTY?
Twilight VS Anime — Pretty Good
A Method to his Madness
183,301 Words
By Luna-tic Scientist
Alternative Title: Mother Goose Down
Neighmann has a theory, one largely revolving around a strange uptick in accidents and mistakes that is, strangely, centered around the Canterlot Castle Gardens. None of his peers take it seriously. Save one. In most scenarios, one wouldn’t be enough. Luckily for him – and the world – this ‘one’ happens to be the royal patron of the sciences, Princess Luna. She has a theory of her own, one centered around a certain statue that has more story behind it than any of these modern ponies know.
Luna-tic Scientist, apparently allergic to writing anything not set in a technologically super-advanced world, sets this one five hundred years after the events of the show. This AU cuts out everything canon after, say, Season 2: Twilight never became a princess and, most importantly, Discord was never reformed. Which makes sense, as this is set in the same universe as Days of Wasp and Spider and Final Solution, and the Discord of the AU is not exactly… er, “Discord”, for lack of a better way to put it.
The story is set in three phases. The introduction reveals that Discord is developing a resistance to the Elements’ power and will soon break free in significantly less time than he did the first go around. We then get to watch as Neighmann leads a team of scientists to monitor the draconequus, predict the timing of his escape, and prepare to combat him. The second phase covers Discord’s actual escape and the mayhem he causes using extremely subtle tactics the ponies and princesses were in no way prepared to counter. The final phase is the actual conflict, with Luna rising up to the occasion while Celestia… Eh, not so much.
This would normally be the point where I gloat about Luna being Best Princess, but not this time. Luna-tic Scientist did a great job showing that Luna only escaped the same defeat Celestia suffered by luck and past experience with Discord-induced mind-warping magics.
A Method to his Madness is a faster story than its predecessor without sacrificing the scope, impact, and pacing. The author avoids a lot of the traps of the previous stories, such as jumping to unimportant perspectives for a few thousand words just to demonstrate some random event happening. When they did go to previously unknown perspectives, the scene actually had a bearing on the overarching plot, which was a significant improvement. Every chapter holds something of some value, and that’s wonderful.
Alas, Luna-tic Scientist still has a fetish for advanced technology viewed up close. I have no idea how many times the author felt the need to stop everything just to describe in minute detail the little gizmos and technical intricacies of, say, how a missile detonates. It was neat the first time or two, but after that it started to get old.
That’s just one little niggle in a world of “yes”, though. We’ve got Luna in a desperate battle for not only Equestria, but for her sister’s sanity. We’ve got normal ponies going up against impossible odds and not always winning; honestly, when I realized a mere seven normal, mortal ponies were being sent to battle Discord alone I had to question how we were to reasonably expect them to come out alive and of sound mind. This isn’t the goofy, playful Discord of the show and this story doesn’t pull punches.
That’s actually a major highlight: this is not Hasbro’s Discord. This rendition is a true abomination that revels in the suffering of others, and I mean that in the most sadistic of ways. There’s always been the idea of him “Discording” a pony, i.e. making them act opposite to their nature. This story explores that in its most insidious incarnation: an outright plague of the mind that spreads from pony to pony via mere proximity and unleashes pure chaos upon the world. Don’t expect this to be a bright, happy story in which Friendship triumphs over all.
That’s a sticking point for me; with this story, Luna-tic Scientist denies that Friendship is Magic. They interpret the Elements of Harmony not as pure embodiments of Harmony but as mere tools that can be used by anyone provided they know the underlying mechanisms. Heck, Celestia proves able to use them even when her mental state is completely removed from anything remotely resembling “Harmony”. It’s even mentioned offhand that Twilight and her friends were nothing more than the final product of a covert eugenics program designed to create six ponies biologically attuned to the Elements. If you have any love for the core of the show, you may find this grievously insulting.
At the same time, I’m not sure Luna-tic Scientist could have had it any other way. After all, this AU is grounded in the idea that the MLP universe was crafted by a heartless entity of pure arithmetic whose only goal was the comprehension of all that is, i.e. knowledge above all else. If I remember correctly, it made the Elements not to maintain Harmony but to protect its pristine Order, which is a wholly different thing. Knowing this, I’m not inclined to take offense to the depiction, even if it ruffles my feathers a bit.
Another curious element is how Luna-tic Scientist views the nature of the races of Equestria as naturally geared towards peace. Celestia and Luna strive for a time when the people can thrive in harmony without their guidance. Personally, I find the idea ludicrous. But the story pushes for this end point even in the conclusion. Frankly, I am convinced they’ll either be forced to come into leadership again the instant the ignorant masses run into another Great Threat or, should they decide not to, all of their world will be conquered/destroyed. I suppose that makes me a cynic. At the very least, I’ll acknowledge that the author depicts ponies and the other races as being biologically and socially different from humans, and this could make all the difference. But it still feels far-fetched to me, and I fully expect Celestia’s and Luna’s decisions to cause pain and suffering rather than a lasting peace.
But all of this is beside the point, which is that A Method to his Madness is a compelling story. Sometimes emotional, sometimes disturbing, but always leaving me with an intense desire to know what’s going to happen next – even as I question how what happens next could possibly be positive. It’s a terrifying depiction of Discord at his worst, a demonstration of a sister’s love and desperation, and a constant battle for the minds and safety of an entire world. It might start off a bit slow, but once the problems start things shift to high gear rapidly and it becomes hard to look away.
To top it all off, there’s not an absolute need to read the previous stories. You lose a lot of context – the reinterpretation of the Elements’ nature, for example – but in terms of understanding the plot from beginning to end this is a standalone piece. Quite a good one, at that. I greatly enjoyed this revisit to the AU, which I suspect will be our last. A nice send-off for this world’s Celestia and Luna.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Days of Wasp and Spider — WHYRTY?
Final Solution — WHYRTY?
The Thirty Minute Dash
23,286 Words
By Esle Ynopemos
Sister Story to Party Every Day, Thirty Minutes Shy, An Apple A Day, and Thirty Days, Thirty Twilights
And so we return to Esle Ynopemos’s Thirty Days collection, this time with Rainbow Dash as the centerpiece. For those of you unaware, these are anthologies, each story written in thirty minutes or less once a day for a month. In this instance we have all sorts of Rainbow-centric tales, ranging from near-death experiences to strict flight school tests to extremely turbulent (to put it lightly) romantic relationships.
Naturally, I had a lot of fun. The stories run the full gamut of genres, from comedy to romance to dark. In some ways you can see them all as a combined character study of our favorite speedster. I couldn’t pinpoint a favorite this time, although as a romantic I couldn’t help but enjoy the occasional back-and-forth RD went through with Rarity. Her reaction to being rescued from imminent doom was also quite entertaining. And let us not forget her teaching Scootaloo the proper requirements for a good nap!
If you want to see some snippets of Rainbow just being Rainbow, then here’s your fix. Esle Ynopemos once again demonstrates a great awareness of character and has fun doing so. Only one anthology left!
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Thirty Minutes Shy — Pretty Good
Party Every Day — Pretty Good
Thirty Days, Thirty Twilights — Pretty Good
An Apple A Day — Pretty Good
Stories for Next Week:
She Kills Monsters by chiko
The Evening Sonata by Daniel-Gleebits
Aitran by CTVulpin
Rainbow's Factory by AuroraDawn
A Most Unusual Charm by Autumn Wind
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Firstly, great reviews. Secondly, 82?!? Sweet Jeebus!! You should be so lucky! Here in Michigan, we've already had multiple inches of snow and multiple days of 20 degrees or slightly warmer so far in November/December alone!
Columbus, Ohio reporting. We've just had a pathetic little snowfall, and it's slated to reach 60 degrees by the weekend. And there's been rain. Lots and lots of rain. It's been playing hell with my (numerous) Christmas lights, because apparently "for indoor and outdoor use" means "for indoor and outdoor use only when the outdoors isn't doing anything particularly outdoorsy".
Gonna have to bookmark that DIscord 'fic, when the time comes (in the not quite as distant as could be expected future) to handle Discord's reappearance myself.
If it makes you feel any better, knowing Texas it'll drop into the 40s like two days later. Winter here is absurd.
Why does Alberta have to be exactly like Texas in every way except our weather?
We had a foot of snow last week. It’s been -15C all week.
Would you consider a trade?
5615322
-15C? As in five degrees Fahrenheit? Yeeeeeah, I want it cool, but not that cool.
5615308
What are we on now, our fourth Autumn? I love living in the subtropics generally speaking, but I wish we could get, y'know, a full month of stable cool weather. I know, I know, it's a pipe dream.
5615284
Yeesh, sounds like you need to find a different brand of Christmas lights. I don't think I've ever heard of them acting up because of weather down here.
5615274
S... Shn... Snow. Ah, yes. That mythological thing people insist to me exists. Meanwhile, down here we've yet to have the temperatures fall below 40, and even getting to the forties has been uncommon.
5615559
Oh it exists! A truly mysterious thing. Both calming and pretty, but mobility and temperatures make it hard to get around. This is why most Midwesterners prefer to stay indoors whenever possible in Fall/Winter. Sure we can occasionally get temps in the 50s (and that's rare enough for say...February. Not so much in December), but mostly 30s, 20s, teens or below. Plus the inevitable blizzards of January.
80 degrees? I'm feeling an unusual urge to go visit my sister in San Antonio...