• Member Since 1st Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

Beware The Carpenter

What looks white when it's glad, red when it's sad and transparent when scared; sleeps through the night yet hides from the sun, won't give its name but pretends it's a bee and enjoys rollerskating?


Most people wouldn't think that a pet rock could have many adventures.

Most people would be wrong.

FIMfiction says that the sad tag contradicts with comedy. I disagree.

Satellite story to Limits of the Horizon

Picture by Awalex

Chapters (14)
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Comments ( 46 )

5732257 I'm so sorry. What was his name?

This is such an assanine story that you've somehow made into a thrilling story that I cat help but want to read more, but also gouge your eyes out for how ridicoulous this is. Time to check out your other stories.

5733423 That's so tragic! I'm sorry for your loss.


I'm glad you're on that side of the computer screen, and I'm on this side :scootangel:

Dude, this is serious; we need to get on their mare’s trail pronto
Your right; let’s go
as they sped towards Blueblood Manner

1. That. Unless Stoner already knew if she was working for someone else. Conspiracy.
2. You're.
3. Manor.

Topics changes to this and that

1. Changed.

I'm kinda wondering why Stoner never mentioned about the cutie mark she saw on the mare. Irrelevant? Can't be. Normally.

Behind Bluey, Stoner saw Kravennar’s eyes widen some, convincing him that Soarin must have gotten something really cool. Soarin lifted the chain around his neck, which then seemed to clasp by itself, and then red-hot pain went searing through Stoner’s spine, his hoof went numb, and felt as though his green mossy mane had just withered and died.

Woah there, what? When did Stoner evolve?

Sugar High. That, or some sort of super expresso I've nevere heard about. Logical explenation. Can't be an evil amulet, nope.

Stoner knew he was meant to be routing for the Wonderbolts as always
With its focus won, The Rocketeers shot off, draying the dragon ever higher
The cloud went nuts; even Stoner couldn’t contain himself anymore

1. Rooting. Routing means to divert.
2. Err... Draying? What? You lost me here.
3. Crowd.

making it all the way to Blueblood Manner by himself

1. Manor. Again.

And thus, the reason for forty pet rocks is shown here. That's as much as ten fours. Granted i read the satellite story first before this.


Think of this story as being Soarin's retelling of what happened after the event; but from the perspective of Stoner. In story time, Stoner can't know anything that Soarin doesn't.

He's a rock.

Soarin is such a bizarre character. I'm constantly having a love hate relationship with him. Scootaloo was a nice inclusion, and it was funny to see her throw Dash's comment back at her. THe pet rock is a pet rock that is oddly intrinsic to the story, but at the same time not there at all. So bizarre.


The first story I ever did was Storm of Secrets where Dash quits the Wonderbolts. I'd gone overboard making all of them utterly unlikable and part of this was a challenge for me to say, 'yes Soarin is a selfish idiot but there's a lot more to him than that and there are understandable reasons for some of the 'crazy' stuff he does.'

Of course, once he'd being controlled by the Alicorn Amulet Soarin is just off the bat; and Stoner represents his more inner values that Soarin would usually have.

I also have a tendency of basing a plot line off the personality of the main character. If Twilight's the main character it will be meticulously logical and thought through. If Pinkie Pie is the main character I can take whatever leaps of logic I like. Soarin's a rather odd guy so he needs an odd story.


Of course Stoner has a spine; all people have spines.

... You're not accusing Stoner of not a person... are you? :fluttercry:

Pssh. It's not that dark of a plan, especially with how zany you'll make it.


Thanks :pinkiehappy:

I didn't think it was too horrible either; but I'm also working on the Limits of the Horizon, and have people complaining at how dark it is; so I was hoping to keep this one a comedy.

This was awesome!

You better do MOAR!


5752440 I'd argue that Stoner is more Sedimentary than having an actual back bone right now. And the hooves part just threw me for a loop.

I guess Stoner and Soarin are in for a... Rocky ride.

He chattering quietly to himself
A few kernels fell into Stoner’s bag, and be pecking at them ravenously
Button’s eyes opened a wider as he began following a trail
Soarin was hoof mashing the last consul into submission

1. He chattered/Was chattering quietly to himself.
2. A few kernels fell into Stoner's bag and he began pecking at them ravenously.
3. Extra A.
4. Console. Consul is a royal advisor. Unless he decided to pick on royal advisors that is.


There was a consul playing the game when Soarin got there and he wouldn't give up the controls :unsuresweetie:

5759794 I guess you could say that the consul is... In royal pain now

and rammed it through the Smash Bronies consul

1. Console. Again. Or was it a Royal Smash Bronies advisor? If it was, get him a medic.


The consul had been hiding underneath the air hockey table after Soarin beat him up the first time. :trollestia:

5766900 I guess you could say that was his... Consulation prize.


Don't worry; Stoner's brain is made of solid rock. This means he thinks really hard before putting any of his plans into action. :pinkiehappy:


Of course... even Stoner needs to take a chance once in a while... :moustache:

Scootaloo Snickered
he was having too much fun and left to himself he would continue his game of catch

1. Extra capitlaisation.
2. Err... The latter half of the sentence somehow fudged up and I cannot understand it... Oh wait. Now I see. Maybe adding an If before your Left would make the sentence flow better.

Seems that Soarin got a face full of... Stone Cold Justice.

Looks like Stoner... Rocked Soarin's mind.

I'd say that Soarin is stuck... Between a rock and a hard place.

I have got to stop thinking in puns. What do you think?

screaming as the space them separated them from the earth 
Stoner felt he amulet pulse 
Is shouldn’t have even been carrying him

1. Extra Them.
2. The.
3. I.

This was really heartwarming.:heart:.. So are you making a sequel or not? I dint really got what you were saying...

Anyaways , awesome story !


Yes there will be a sequel. :pinkiehappy: Though probably not for a while :fluttershysad:

Storm of Secrets finished with Rainbow Dash quitting, and Spitfire saying she was going to hire the the Flim Flam brothers to help manage/ promote the team, and I've always been curious about how that actually went; and there's a reasonable chance that a middle-aged Soarin playing a role in my Limits of the Horizon series which virtually all of my other stories revolve around.

Basic idea of it is that Button Mash developed severe acrophobia and aviophobia (Fears of heights and flying) after this. His (single) mom is greatly upset about this, but Spitfire pays her a visit, pays her off, and makes some implications that trying to take this too court would be bad for her. :pinkiecrazy:

Button Mash's mom keeps silent for a while, but after a year or so, and Mash still terrified of heights, she gets fed up and plots a vendetta against Soarin, which may involve kidnapping Stoner for ransom. :flutterrage:

5889411 awww okay. I get it now!

can't wait for the sequel, because I absolutely adored the story.:raritystarry:

That's rough, buddy.


In a high school spoof unrelated to any of my other works, Pinkie has a mad crush on Soarin who has a mad crush on Maud, who is going already steady with her lab partner Sombra.

They all go out on a double date. It does not end well.

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