• Member Since 1st Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen Apr 5th, 2015

Soniclink137


E

Scootaloo's Family Trilogy Story 1

Takes place a few years after Sleepless in Ponyville. Rainbow Dash has taken Scootaloo under her wing and has started teaching her how to fly. However through those few years she has grown suspicious over the parents that never bothered to teach their filly how to fly. She goes to Twilight to satisfy her curiosity, and she learns something shocking there. Now Rainbow Dash feels she has to take Scootaloo in, and fight for custody. Will Rainbow Dash be able to muster up her own courage and overcome her shortcomings to help out Scootaloo?

Meanwhile her Coltfriend Soarin' wants to help her. However that means Soarin' has to do something earlier then he wanted to. Can Soarin' find a way to get Rainbow Dash to agree with what he is going to ask her? Will Spitfire be able to help give him that push he needs? And why is Spitfire so interesting in what is going with Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo?

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 122 )

:rainbowkiss: NOM NOM NOM I eat your story up! Yum

I really like this idea! PLEASE keep writing this! I enjoy it immensely. :twilightsmile:

Good start, will up vote and follow. Only two nitpicks, first use of Sweet Apple Acres, Murphy hit your key board and spelled it (Acers). the other one is (what patents) I think you meant [parents]. looks like this is going to be a good one looking forward to the update.

2202061 I'll take that as a good thing. So thanks :twilightsheepish:

2202075 Oh trust me I will. The next chapter will hopefully be here soon!

2202106 :facehoof: Great, I made that mistake again. Fixed it.
And thanks!

It's obviously a god thing :rainbowlaugh: oh and apparently I'm ninth highest in posting comments :rainbowkiss: soon a shall take over Regidar, MWUHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :pinkiecrazy:

MOAR!

One question, is Twilight an alicorn here or not? Kinda wondering about that.

2202176 Good luck with that.

2202283 Well while it won't be evident and used in this fic because of a bunch of reasons, in my headcanon Twilight can transform between her Alicorn and Unicorn forms using the Elements of Harmony. So in this fic she is a Unicorn, but she can transform into an Alicorn whenever she wants to...so long as the rest of her friends are their.

2202327 It shallst comith (I don't even know if that's good old engilsh) soon.

Cliff hangers are suspenseful but if to much suspense is there it's just ANNOYING fortunately the perfect amount of suspense is present. Please please please please PLEASE add more soon:raritywink:

woaaahhh finally a story, part shipping, part unknow, part COURT, and part awesomeness!!

Good start! I've only got a few little nitpicks:

You don't need to capitalise Pegasus, Unicorn or Earth Pony.
The plural of pegasus is pegasi (unless you're Pinkie Pie, then it's 'pegasuseseseses').
Keep an eye on your tenses, you occasionally slip into present tense.

But those are tiny problems and it's an enjoyable story. Looking forward to more!

<<<Is loving how I can reply to multiple comments at once.

2202379 Next chapter is coming

2202386 Thanks!

2202558 You don't need to capitalise Pegasus, Unicorn or Earth Pony. Really? I thought I did. Well that's good to know. Now all I need to do is get it out of habit.
The plural of pegasus is pegasi (unless you're Pinkie Pie, then it's 'pegasuseseseses'). I did hear about this but I wasn't positive. Thanks for clarifying.
Keep an eye on your tenses, you occasionally slip into present tense. Ok that'll be something I try to keep an eye on.
And thanks!

Wow this updated fast :rainbowkiss:more?

Just like rainbow, jumping now, thinking later. (Kudos to you if you get the reference!):twilightsmile:

More. This has got to be the best bad idea i have ever encountered. I am actually starting to doubt if this is a bad idea.

i have no clue what theyre talking about xD..yay

2202800 And more shall come eventually.

2202825 Yeah, well I will admit something. I have already finished this fic, but I'm fixing them up to the best of my abilities before submitting them here. So while normally you would see them when I finish the chapter, for now until I'm done giving you everything I've already finished I'm submitting them as soon as I'm done rebuffing a chapter.

2203366 The idea of Rainbow Dash becoming a parent? Well yes, while as Rainbow Dash is now, she would not make a good parent at all, what she needs is something to force her into gaining the maturity and essentially growing up. Which was why I made this fic in the first place, to allow Rainbow Dash to grow as a character into somebody who would be a good parent.

2203603 Umm...ok? Well...it will be revealed in the next chapter.

Man stuff is moving a bit fast. You would think Dash would at lest confront Scoots on the subject.

2203821 Well she already has tried, and it's implied that she has tried several times, but Scootaloo always attempts to change the subject. Also Rainbow Dash is brash but loyal, so when she sees the possibility that one of her friends are in danger she is going to charge headfirst and ask that friend questions later. She will talk to Scootaloo in a later chapter though.

I'll say this was good and awesome.:rainbowkiss:

I'd say this was well done, though there were a few spelling issues here and there.

However, there is definitely room for improvement, especially in the area of character development and interaction. While I can say that you probably captured Rainbow Dash and Twilight pretty well, I think you could've done the others better. With Rarity you used the term "darling" way too often, and Pinkie Pie....well, actually, you did pretty good with her, but whenever she says something, you need some adverbs and stuff to go along with the spontaneous things that sprout from her mouth. That also gives her character and allows the reader to see what she's doing more clearly, which is crucial with Pinkie Pie, seeing as almost everything she says has a movement to go with it. Applejack I think you did okay with, but again could use more character development. Fluttershy I can't really judge, because she didn't say much in this chapter, but perhaps that was the point (what with her being Fluttershy and all).

So there's just a few things that I thought could help improve your story by a lot. Also, an art cover would be beneficial to you. Do you have one that is currently being done for you?

I laughed my head off at the Apple pie.:derpytongue2:

So far it's okay but there's one big thing bothering me, what about Scootaloo herself? Where's her say in all of this?

2205113 That is the million bit question, as is the issue of the fact that we've had no interaction with Scootaloo's parents whatsoever over the course of this story. It's hard to believe that anypony would even attempt to start a custody battle over Scootaloo without actually meeting (or perhaps covertly observing) her parents to determine the level of care that they actually provide her. The big thing is that the characters are coming to a lot of conclusions about Scootaloo's parents without actually investigating them directly. So things are looking kinda shaky. At this point, I'm suspecting that the author may be deliberately keeping them out of things to keep us in suspense as to the true degree of their negligence or mistreatment of Scootaloo.

I'm enjoying this! Still a few issues with grammar, but nothing major. Although it's 'Cheerilee', not 'Cheerlie'. :)

I'm just wondering what's gonna happen when Scoots finds out about all this. ^^

So many comments to reply to!

2204552 Thanks

2204923 Would you mind pointing some of the spelling errors I made so I can fix them?
Good to note for when I continue writing.
And no, I don't have any cover art being made for me.

2205025 I was thinking of the song lollipop while writing this so...

2205113>>2206380 Scootaloo will be told in the next chapter. So Scootaloo's feelings will finally be revealed.

2205276 You may or may not be right. You'll just have to see :ajsmug:

have u ever watched the pheonix wright/Rainbow Dash thing on youtube???

Very well done. I especially like how you are handling a complex issue in a sensitive manner. I really like how you have Rainbow making some serious mistakes as she keeps going as it keeps things up in the air as to whether or not she'll be able to succeed. It's also good that you have Spitfire there to call her out on this. Well done. :twilightsmile:

Like Spitfire, I also thought RD was getting ahead of herself there. All we're really dealing with is neglect, not abuse. It won't be as easy of a case to prove if it's Scoot's parents word against hers.

2240024 Yes I have seen Turnabout Storm

2240492 Thanks

2240731 Well Rainbow Dash is brash and cocky but loyal, so naturally when she gets the suspicion that a friend of hers is in trouble she is going to go off without thinking.

2240240 Yeah Rainbow Dash isn't perfect. She will make mistakes. Which I like doing. Fics where Rainbow Dash is suddenly a good mother seem sort of out of character. I mean yeah they happen when the kid is like 4 or 5 so maybe she learned as she went along, but I'd rather actually show that character development first. And of course her possibility of success or failure naturally has to be kept up in the air, or this would get boring.

And as for Spitfire, I use her in a much different way then most SoarinDash fics and I like using her this way. She isn't the jealous main antagonist but instead the helpful but strict support character that is there to keep Rainbow Dash from going in over her head.

great story and what an evil cliffhanger

I want to hurt dust storm so baddly right now:flutterrage:

Um yeah...I don't really see the cliffhanger with this. Once it gets out that Dash let the fillies go with Dust Storm so she could keep the timberwolves off their backs, it's going to show everyone that she has the maturity to put Scootaloo's welfare ahead of anything else, which is pretty much a clincher as far as things go in this sort of situation. It's gonna take one doozy of a reversal to prove otherwise. :duck:

2242653 Thanks.

2242692 Well he definitely isn't the nicest person I've ever made. Yet he isn't the evilest either.

2242877 True, but the problem is Rainbow Dash, Dust Storm, and the CMC (or former CMC since they do have their cutie marks in this story) were the only ones to witness it. All Dust Storm needs to do is find some way of taking the CMC out of the equation and that just leaves his word vs Dash's. And he was the one that brought Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Bell out. So while yeah, Dash does have a way of winning this, but she needs to find some way of overturning Dust Storm's claim.

Time to chop some wood. :rainbowdetermined2:

ooo waka waka!! for one part dash could of said she wais the element of loyalty..and went through with the discription...but dash can say she fought of timberwolves for them, while the dumb dad just carried them away..dash was there first, and there is 3 honest wittnesses

lol...since u know about pokemon..HOW THE HELL TO I BEAT THE ELITE FOUR!! (leaf green) ive tied eveything!! i got up to the fourth person..then loss.

2245098 Grind money and exp from trainer rematches and buy lot's of Full Restores and Revives. If you want to use a Revival Herb you can, but I wouldn't suggest that if you are using return. Beyond that I can't help you much since Leaf Green is the Pokemon Game I know the least about.

2245142 ive tried that...there is no one i havent battled... i do have 2 bird legendaries.[zapidose n articuno]..i found ditto but never caught him...umm i have a giga drain which is on my best poke...lol, my friend said i needed the starter but thid guy kovontae set it free'.' ...lmfao

I like your Phoenix Wright refrence. I need to go check out the channel on YouTube now.:derpytongue2:

Sweet LUNA spitfire was scootaloos biological mom that is awesome

Sooo.....That's the personal reason.. And why the wife was never called mom and also very willing to let go of the filly

Damn. Didn't see that one coming. O.O

Love that implied shipping. A Spitfire was the mom!? Holy guacamole.

2255636 Yep fun all around
2256258 I tried hinting it, but of course I still wanted it to be a surprise
2256212>>2256457 Now just to clear something up since I don't think I was very good at explaining this in the fic, Dust Storm is not Scootaloo's biological father. He was an old friend of Spitfire's, however they had no romantic interactions. He was just given Scootaloo because Spitfire thought he would be able to raise Scootaloo better then Spitfire ever could, being that as will be explained in a later fic he was married at the time Spitfire had Scootaloo.

So then who is Scootaloo's biological father? Well that...will be explained later. I'll leave you in suspense when it comes to that for now.

Also you get a Twilicorn reference in this fic. Long story short, she can transform between being an alicorn and unicorn using the Elements Of Harmony.

I was gonna ask, it sounded like Twilight was suggesting they use the power of the Elements to win the court case. XD

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