• Member Since 11th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 12th, 2023


An off-again-on-again writer and father of a pony-fan. Incessant poking will make me write more/faster, by the way. (That's not sarcasm—I need reminders to write.)


As an unstoppable hurricane bears down on Manehatten, Rainbow Dash has to face the unpleasant truth that not all of life's obstacles can be overcome. Sometimes you just have to do your best to get by. And when Dash gets the opportunity to become a Wonderbolt for a day, doing her best takes on a whole new, unexpected, meaning.



Editing provided by: Spabble
If you like this, try: Words Failed Her

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 173 )

Save THAT for chapter three seven. ;)

favorite dragon force song lol

Oh, lighten up everypony! She's just taken the first big step toward fulfilling her life's dream, and considering the level of manic excitement she usually exhibits when anything Wonderbolts is involved, I'm not at all surprised she's not quite thinking straight. Dash all but spazzes out just from talking to the 'Bolts, so how freaked do you think she is to be hanging out with them as another member of the team? Her head's so in the clouds she probably doesn't remember her own name, at this point.

Have you been reading ahead? ;)
Seriously, you probably have it spot-on, as chapter 2 should reveal - Which I am just about done with now.

And for those that haven't read my accompanying blog post about this story, this is my first foray into writing since... Well, probably college. Which for me was a long time ago. So I'd appreciate any and all feedback on how I'm doing so far. I'm trying to stay as show-cannon as possible, while still adding something new and a bit more deep than the show can easily go.

Can't wait to share the rest of the story with everypony. And actually, though I have the whole thing basically mapped out, I can't wait to see how it actually flows out of me, myself. Writing chapter 2 has been quite a surprise so far, even to me! :)


:twilightblush: What kind of brony would I be if I didn't know my waifu as well as she knows her favorite Wonderbolts routine, assuming she has a favorite and isn't just madly in love with the whole lot of them? :rainbowkiss:

A sucky one, that's what!

Chapter 2 is up! I had to fight with it a bit... It wandered away from my outline quite drastically. But I got it reeled back under control at the end, and without doing anything that felt unnatural. At least to me. Time, and reviews and feedback from you fine folk, will be the true measure.

Time to start in on Chapter 3!

Oh, and spread the word around if you actually like what I'm creating here. If this story drops into a bottomless pit with nary a splash, I may give up on the whole thing from lack of interest. Yours AND mine.

But as long as people are reading, I'll keep writing! :rainbowlaugh:

Awwwww… Soarin's sooo sweet with Dash…
Gd job so far, keep up the good work!

You see this?

This and Wild Sky Yonder are how to write Wonderbolts fics.

WELL DONE. FAVED. :rainbowdetermined2:

Hmm. This chapter TOTALLY had 3999 words when I first saw it on my updates.

:rainbowlaugh: You totally added a word to make it even, didn't you?

I didn't do it just to make a round number, I promise! :rainbowderp: It was an edit for clarity. Actually several edits that averaged out to one word more, I guess.

I just want to give you guys the best story I can, so I'll keep fixing every bug I see.

(Hmmm... Did that last statement out me as a programmer, not a writer?)


I've got an 8-hour plane flight today... I'll see what I can do. :pinkiecrazy:

My daily dose of adrenaline :rainbowdetermined2:

Ooh, this is getting good! Can't wait for the next bit, keep up the awesome work!

This is just... amazing. I DEMAND MORE! :flutterrage: ...Please? :fluttercry:


Oh, if you insist.

*whips up another chapter from moon dust and gossomer* :moustache:

There ya go. Enjoy!

Yay! Oh, you. Always going out of your way to make others content. :raritywink:

All joking aside, this truly is an amazing piece of literature. There's so much attention-grabbing detail! Please continue writing marvelous stories such as this. I look forward to the next chapter. :heart:


Another chapter??? Okay, now you otta give me some time. :rainbowderp:

You just got lucky this time. :rainbowkiss:

I. Can't. Believe. This. A new chapter!!!! YAY!


Oh, take as much time as you need. I'm patient. :heart: But don't take too long. :ajbemused:

OH MY GOD :pinkiegasp:

No... don't tell me this is the end :fluttercry:


Oh, it's not the end! I know I said it would have five chapters, but chapter three became three chapters all by itself. And I'm still not quite done with it. Writing... It has a will of it's own, it seems. :derpytongue2:

More to come!!!

woohoo, cant wait for next update

Soon she's holding Dash's upside-down head in her hands, stopping her slow rotation.

:pinkiegasp: Oh no! Applejack! What did that fall do to you?!

"HURRICANE!" her bellow rocks the car like the thunder that punctuates it.

"Yes, Rainbow Dash?"

Rainbow falters, eyes widening slowly. She wisely decides to stop trying to talk to a storm.:rainbowderp:

Oops! Thanks for the catch. Applejack has now been shoed. Pay no attention to those fingers behind the curtain!

Hmmm... Was that too corny? Maybe I should have sat on that for a bit before releasing it...


Not gonna sugarcoat it, that part was a bit corny. Not bad, mind you, just... yeah, you get what I'm saying. :rainbowwild:

I'm with you. I think this will be my first big post-publication edit.

"BAD ENDING!" I yell, "You're going DOWN!"

I'll preserve this rubbish in the blog for historical purposes, but expect chapter 6's ending to change very soon...


In my head, I keep thinking of an omake of this scene, where Rainbow flies above the cloud layer and she and the Hurricane end up having a friendly chat, even as the weight of the train and its passengers finally breaks the bridge altogether and they all plummet to their deaths.

As is the way with the MLP fandom, all things friendship must lead to shipping, so eventually Rainbow and the Hurricane end up making odd stormpony babies together. Somehow. :rainbowkiss:


Gah!!! You're making me cringe! New ending! New ending!


Ah. I only hope this one is better... :)

Take it from: "...Hurricane..."

I can only apologize to everyone that read the original ending for chapter 6. I beg that you read its new ending instead, and burn that previous foulness from your memory. (I know a guy that writes Sunshine of the Spotless Mind fanfic that could help there.)

I may put the original drivel in the blog, if I can find a <quarantine> tag strong enough to hold it...


:rainbowderp: It's nowhere near as corny, true, but you kinda killed the dramatic tension by having them talk it out like reasonable ponies. Like before, everypony probably knew what Dash was about to do, but she took off before anyone could say anything, right? There's a lot of tension in that kind of situation, because you know her friends would not be happy with her decision to throw herself headfirst into this killer storm. Having everypony talk about Rainbow going to break up the hurricane isn't too bad in itself, really. It's mostly their acceptance of her crazy idea that makes it fall flat. I know that sounds horrible, and it is, but that extra level of conflict on top of the overarching issue of the storm itself really lends a lot of weight to this particular scene. And considering Dash is about to try and clear what is potentially the worst storm Equestria has ever seen (on her own, no less), that ending scene should be rather heavy on the dramatic tension. Am I making sense? :rainbowhuh:

Kinda makes me wish I hadn't commented in the first place; somewhat-corny with adequate tension is better than non-corny with lacking tension. I dunno, maybe I'm just nitpicking--it is nearly 3AM.

I'm thinking there's still more dramatic tension in this version, but it's quieter, deeper. The first take was all about rage, revenge. I hadn't intended that at the time - That's not how she should be reacting.

Every new moment in a story should be driven by what came before. And if there's anything I've been trying to drive into poor Rainbow Dash's head through all the hell I've put her through, it's... Responsibility. I see that as her greatest hurtle to becoming a Wonderbolt. (So its the one thing in the series she can never really acquire.)

And so here we have a scene of utter dispair. There's nothing she can do to end the despair, but there is something she, and only she can do to reduce it, and that's give them hope. Whether she succeeds or fails in the next chapter (I ain't sayin') she has at least given them all hope. Not a bad thing. I'm proud of her, now. :)

Edit: Oh, and as the writter, I'm pretty sure Applejack twigged on what she was doing, and more importantly, why. She probably actually doubts Dash can do anything to stop the storm, but by supporting her in front of everyone, she helped spark that hope. Which it seems she felt was worthwhile as well. But then, Applejack has the market cornered on responsibility already. :)

Screw the part about chapter endings and the lot. :raritywink:

She's going to go BREAK UP A HURRICANE! :rainbowdetermined2:


Organized chaos. When I read that, and the part about the enemy at here back every step of the way, for some reason Discord popped into my head. That would be cool... hope I didn't just give away the ending lol

I'm not saying anything definite here ("Spoilers!") but which seems more dangerous, Discord, or this?

...Just askin'. :rainbowderp:

I see, you make a fine point. I guess that does look more dangerous than chocolate milk rain:rainbowwild:

My thoughts exactly.


Well. I have no one to blame but myself. I wrote the title, after all. It's not like this was a surprise. :facehoof:

Hey! I think I've FINALLY got a synopsis I like!

Rainbow Dash... Sometimes reckless, often daring, always loyal. Her one goal in life is to become a Wonderbolt, and with a little help from a hurricane, her fondest wish may come true. But storms are unpredictable, and a monster of a storm is the most unpredictable of all - and the most dangerous. The plans of a brave little pegasus mean nothing to a hurricane, and Rainbow Dash may end up facing far more than she can handle.

How far can you push a Rainbow?

What do YOU think?

another for the favorites list. thank you so much for sending this to me, i enjoyed the read.:scootangel:

Thanks for reviewing it! I made some changes at your suggestions. :)

ok, i'll read it again. but i won't be able to respond to anything untill 6:30 tomorrow. it seems i have a 24 hour ban

Oh, you don't need to re-read. The changes were quite tiny. I'd rather you move on to chapter 3, if you feel in the reading mood. :twilightsmile:
"...take up positions at one end of the grassy field dotted with two-story-tall slalom poles..."
"(Though actually it’s just Pinkie Pie dropping her popcorn.)"
Subtle change to the description of the poles, hopefully making them seem heftier, and the tense change to Pinkie's comical aside.

There's no light at the end of this tunnel.
i see watcha did there:ajsmug:

"Fly fast Wonderbolt..."
Every time I read that I am reminded of this: http://youtu.be/qVCFV7jT9ho

i see watcha did there:ajsmug:
How could I NOT drop that line there? :)

Every time I read that I am reminded of this: http://youtu.be/qVCFV7jT9ho
"Fast-Forward Rainbow Dash Is Redundant" :rainbowdetermined2:

I know exactly what you mean. my latest fanfic, while currently sitting at 9k words, has yet to reach even a reference to the original inspiration. It's all still chapter one lol

Login or register to comment