• Member Since 25th Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen Wednesday


I write in my spare time, as a hobby and I would appriciate some feedback on any stories I write here on fimfiction.


  • ESea of hypnosis
    Bolt and Ruby take a short holiday to the beach to enjoy the cool water, warm sun and sweet drinks... But Ruby has another treat for Bolt to taste of her own creation.
    THEJamiboi · 3k words  ·  29  5 · 2.7k views
Comments ( 293 )
Comment posted by Elric of Melnipony deleted Feb 21st, 2016

5321917 Ugh... double o isn't it *facehoof* sorry about that, I'll fix it, thanks.

So. I've been reading the story.
It is over all well done! So far, that is.
I did spot some mistakes but i can look away from them.
Even though its a OC story its well done. Good work.
It also reminds me of "spice and wolf"
Continue the good work :3

5358316 Why does everyone say its reminds them of Spice and Wolf, is that bad pun so well know? XD

If you spot mistakes can you copy the line and tell me what's wrong, I want to get better at spotting and fixing mistakes and that only happens if people show me them, I try my best to find them but as my own editor I sometimes miss them.

Thanks I will continue, glad you like it! :)

5358345 i'll be sure to do that the next time i read a chapter :)

Didnt spor any errors, good chapter :)

5359683 YES! WOOHOO! Sorry, just glad I managed to find them all! :) Or at least the majority that people will notice, it seems.

Also is spor a joke? or did you hit the wrong key?

5359725 writing on a phone is hard, but lets say it was a joke ;)

Awesome chapter, glad your back :)

I really want to see how the lamias eat their food now :twistnerd:fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/339/d/9/finals_are_coming__by_senxshine-d6wwc4o.gif
love the little filly part:heart:

5462316 Well I'll probably go into detail later in the story when, ah, Bolt has a 'scientific' experience with Ruby! :3

5461238 I never left, life is just being a very big hammer, thankfully I make a good shield. :)

Also thanks, glad you enjoyed! :D

Yay amazing chapter! Only minor mistakes here and there i think i found 2 but anyway.
This story is turning out really nicely, it has a very good pace. Do continue writing.

(( I gently pressed my lips to the front of her hoof and Ruby gasped, freezing up
“Consider yourself under my spell"))
Nice quote :3

5495570 Dead obvious! XD Also I put that in cause of you saying if it was inspired by Spice and Wolf, first to say it but not the last! :)

Well it just reminded me of the anime, but i really love the quote, fits in nicely to the story, looking forward for more spirals and spices :3

5496441 Thanks! :) Spoilers for next chapter: They kiss! :D

Exciting chapter with lots of buildup!
Cant wait for the arena fight :3
keep on writing! :3

5520620 I will thanks, and you view on Bolt's kiss, what did ya think, supa smooth! XD

5520644 sooo smooth hehe ;3
I rather enjoyed that moment (not his first kiss, ew.)
I also really liked the hypnosis part... Alot :rainbowderp: :rainbowwild:

5523448 Yes I really liked writing that, can't wait for Ruby to use her powers for sexual-er I mean... other purposes! :3

5524762 your story is gonna have that kind of purpose in it owo
*pomf* sounds fun :twilightblush:

Soo uhm i was just wondering :3
You got a certain tag on your story, and i havent seen anything related to that certain tag yet.. :3
Any teasers for when this certain tag is gonna
Come in?
*whispering* so smooth twiggy. So smooth.

5579263 *bursts out laughing* yes so smooth! XD Answer: I'm not sure, I don't want to rush it because it's actually kinda important to the story (Irony) and I want Ruby and Bolt to have built a real relationship before I... Ugh... Make them move up a step, but it shouldn't be too far off... Tell you what I'll spoil when I'm planning to write it so you can look forward to it! :3 And annoy you the longer it takes to reach! >:)

After they Re-Enter Equestrian soil, they'll stop on the road for some quality time together... Alone! :3

I kept hoping to see core in this! X3

5595116 Core? Do you mean vore? Cause if so yes it'll happen! :)

5595125 Yes I meant vore. I should learn not to type comments from my phone. It autocorrects. X3

5595149 That sounds worse than windows thinking it's should always be its, so damn annoying never makes up it's stupid mind.

Wait, two sets of Everything?! So like down there as well? Hmmm, wonder of the second set is cloaca? Guess it wouldn't be as widely used as it would not be as pleasurable. If so, I wonder if that means the Lamia can have live birth or lay eggs.

5596254 She said internal, as in organs not... That. XD

hey that's an organ, and it's mostly internal. Why wouldn't they... lol.

besides the secondary (primary considering the first is mostly vistigial) stomach needs an exit vent. If the mammalian reproductive organ is in the upper body it doesn't have to be near any exit vents, but the cloaca is all three in one on a reptile so it would stand to reason the Lamia could have both.

5596316 Hmmm... Guess it would make sense. But I'll probably not write about it, but I won't shoot down this theory, cause it's pretty cool! :)

Ruby tapped a segment of her tail then grinned at me “The first one doesn’t have any digestive acid so it’s like a storage tank, we can eat something, feel full and not kill the inhabitant. A lot of lamias do that. It’s usually a test of trust.”

Jesus Christ:pinkiesick:, that's one hell of a trust fall.:eeyup: I'm just gonna turn around and nope the fuck out! lo

5599661 XD Well lamias see trust in a VERY different way... Plus I could think of any other excuse to include vore in this story other than this, sorry. XD

And noping the fuck out is probably a good idea, if you can't stand this it'll only get kinkier! >:3

5599703 don't be sorry, I'm all down for deepthroating, I just didn't know it would be this deep:rainbowlaugh:

5599741 It's not actually that deep... Just stomach wall deep! :3

Soft vore... Me like :3
Dat end though! Cliffhanger D:
Dosent bolt have a passport or something?...
Oh i hope it ends well for them ^^

5606300 Even if he does they'll want to check... We'll just have to see how it goes but I'll give you a little something to think over:

It escalates quickly and we meet our first cannon character interaction! :3

Yay! Sounds exciting.
Its a really great story by the way, so i'll probs give a follow and fave ;)

5609342 Thanks glad you like it! :)

YAY RUBY! Get your stallion! :pinkiecrazy:

Noooooooo!! the tease

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