• Member Since 26th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 14th, 2022

Enter Madness

I'm just a guy. Who likes ponies. And fan fiction. Why not both?


Rainbow Dash was born as the daughter to a Duke of Canterlot, who denies her her freedom and keeps her confined to her tower at almost all times. Applejack is a poor apple farmer from Ponyville who goes into Canterlot to sell her wares. When the two ponies meet during the Summer Sun Celebration, they fall in love. But with an Equestrian class struggle threatening to boil over, their fledgling love will face the ultimate test. AppleDash AU ship.

Pre-reading/Editing done by the ridiculously cool and devastatingly good-looking Eldorado.

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 111 )




Also, this fic has a nice premise.

Always good to see a shipfic trying something a little different.

Hmm. This is different.

Bring home the... bacon? They're herbivorous.
"had forbidden" -> "forbade"
Oh, but they’re so much more than that! -> needs open quote.

Sounds like a cross over of some sort

1793140 Nope, just an idea I had.
1792954 Thanks for the fixes! Should be right now.

I really wouldn't call this a shipping fic. Its a fic with a ship, and even a fic about a ship, but from my perspective I would argue it as a story about intrigue, youthful rebellion and (hopefully) some action too.

That being said, its a reasonably interesting version of this ship, well written and more importantly readable with few SPAG errors, and had some good throwaway gags (Jazz ftw!)

I therefore say

:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache: "One to watch"

At a more personal level, *strokes* :moustache: "do continue, Mr Madness"

Shipping is good. Me gusta.

A fic doesn't need to be about the ship for it to be a ship fic. A ship fic is when the two most important character are in a romantic relationship that is important to the story. This fits that criteria.


Hmm. Perhaps. I certainly find that in general "ship fic" means the (normally tiresome) business of two characters finally admitting what we (the audience) knew all along about their feelings, particularly when described as one in the story summary. I would also argue that a ship fic is a vehicle for a ship and not much else (swp - squee without plot, if you will) where as there does appear to be more than just angst and googly eyes to this tale.


My comment might make more sense if I reveal that in the summary at the top I remembered the admission as bad at writing ship fics not bad at writing romance, and I was attempting constructive criticisim of a rather nifty story. Yes the romance was a bit rushed (but frankly romance is hard to write about) none the less there is great deal of romance and warm fuzzies just waiting to be bought into existence with a key stroke. Write on, sir, write on!

1796613 I think "nifty" might be my favorite word used to describe any of my stories so far. Thanks for the feedback! Also, I sorta tricked you (accidentally). I changed the description from "shipfic" to "romance" after reading your original comment, so you did read it correctly the first time. I still think it's better to just say "romance" there so as to avoid confusion.


... and I begin to understand your nom de plume just a little more :pinkiecrazy:

This is great! Well written, too. I like the way you mixed their real personalities to one of as if they were royalty (Dash) and 'peasant' (AJ); it has that touch of the show and your own way of it. Please do continue writing this, it's wonderful! :ajsmug:

As I move onto a different subject, I spotted some mistakes that I think you would like to fix:
Everypony knew that apple pie was the best, and Applejack was determined to show these stuck-up city folk just home good down-home cooking could be.
-I think you meant "how"
Standing behind the cart were two ponies with wide-brimmed hats and slicked black red manes.
-Their manes are white and red (make sure to add a comma in the middle of these two adjectives)
The pony wearing the pink jumpsuit was pink herself, with an out-of-control mess of mane atop her head.
-I think you meant "Pinkie"
Her eyes were a striking purple color, huge, adorable orbs that stared with wide-eyed wonder at the dancing ponies.
-Her eyes aren't purple, they're either fuchsia or magenta (I prefer magenta)

P.S. I love what you did with Cirque du Ponè!

1796740 Thanks! Most of those things are mistakes, and are now fixed, but for the thing involving Pinkie, I was just saying that her coat was pink, implying that it was Pinkie Pie without outright saying it. Also, I'm glad you got the Cirque du Ponè thing.

A ship fic can also be during a relationship. It doesn't have to be the start of one.

Feudal Equestria... Intriguing.

You have a fantastic premise here and I look forward to seeing more. :twilightsmile:

Well something different but fore sure something that is worth to give it a chance. :ajsmug:

Im gonna wait for story updates until I will judge this story.

Dash acting fancy? This is new.

You better finish this story! I've got my eye on you. :ajbemused:

1798545>>1800892 Working on the next chapter right now. Probably going to continue publishing chapters of this story as soon as I'm done with them, as my pre-readers are tied up with some other projects (mine and otherwise).

Just going to agree with everyone else, this is a nice change from yer typical aj-and-rd-have-loved-each-other-for-years-and-kept-silent-until-this-outbreak-of-passion fic. :P It's different, can't wait to see where you go with it :D

And I feel it necessary to mention... about halfway through, I was like omg this reminds me of romeo and juliet o.o I don't know why, but it just strikes me. Sering the story name and the insta-love, actually...
Are they gonna elope and die a tradgic death when you end it?:D

Tldr: awesome fic, update soon xxx

I liked it for the Romeo reference. Please, do continue.

1806442 Yeah, the Romeo and Juliet vibe wasn't totally intentional, but I noticed it too while I was writing it. I guess great minds really do think alike. (Did I just compare myself to Shakespeare, basically a writing god, in terms of literary ability? Will someone shoot me please?)

>Duke Ellington
Good one :raritywink:

I love this story. I must continue on to the next chapter :yay:

I require more substance
You must provide

heh, its weird, cause I'm working on a story that's a bit like this... Y'know with the father forbiting Rainbow from seeing Aj and everything. So dont think i'm copying when my story comes up, i've actually had the idea for a while now :twilightsheepish:
But this is awesome. I'd give you several thumbs up for this story, but sadly i can only do one vote per story :applecry:
Commencing next chapter! ...DAMN IT!!!

1810283 Don't worry, I won't think you're copying or anything. There are only so many ideas floating around in the... um... idea library? Yeah, let's go with that. Also, I should be able to get the next chapter up sometime next weekend, so make sure you track the story for the updates!

Love it so far! Good pacing and dialogue. I love the Appledash stories that make Granny Smith awesome and accepting- that's so much more in character for her. Can't wait for the next chapter! :twilightsmile:

1810310 I love the story ^.^ It is a perfect love story, and I would love to see it continued! When do you think you will get the next chapter up?

1838770 he said he would be able to get it up next weakend (or she. i'm not sure which the creater is)

Heh, I was about to ask when I next chapter will be. I guess it's around today or tomorrow :rainbowkiss:
Also, I've spotted really minor errors, nothing to worry about. I'll be sending you a PM.
Anndddddd, ya need a pre reader? :pinkiehappy: I could happily preread for you i.imgur.com/TAf9J.png

I might not be able to send those pre read stuff I did... my sister carelessly deleted the document when she "accidentally" shut down the computer :ajsleepy: Nonetheless, if you need someone to preread, let me know :raritywink:

All my yes. :rainbowkiss: This is amazingly written, and an idea that I haven't seen before. AppleDash is my 2nd favorite pairing, so it's nice to see someone trying something different. I will have to admit I don't like ponies falling in love with each other from the first chapter, because I prefer something slower and more gradual. But this is in an alternate universe, and so different, that it did manage to appeal. :raritywink:

I'm getting a Romeo and Juliet vibe...?

TOTALLY FAVORITED AND TRACKED THOUGH. I'm looking forward to more, and as quickly as possible. :heart:

Forbidden love eh? nothing says hot like two ponies who are forbidden from one another. I just hope this story doesn't end tragically like Romeo and Juliet did.:fluttercry:

ainbow Dash’s father, Duke Ellington Dash IV, was the foulest sort of royalty.

you fat basement dwelling beetfaced child with severe fetal alcohol syndrome i like duke ellington's music

but i like this story too
it's good
so you get a free pass :twilightsmile:

Wow, just wow.:rainbowderp:
this 'rewrite' really did improve the story a lot! And it wasn't bad to begin with.:ajsmug:

I hope to see more, do continue:pinkiehappy:

>Story 69696

Seems legit

“You’ll still get to see her. We just have to careful. It
You forgot the be (We just have to BE careful) GREAT STORY KEEP WRITING!

Thanks for the feedback and the mistake! Fixed now.
Also, I plan on working mostly on this for a while, so the next chapter should come out a little faster. (Sure, I say that now.)

2016824Hahaha I'll hold you to that! (for now) :twilightsmile:

And here I thought there were gonna be cliff hangers :ajsmug: Even if cliff hangers can be a little frustrating at times, it keeps up that suspense and the readers trying to sense what's next. Overall, great chapter!

All sacrifices are worth it for your loved ones; as for this story, it's a lover :heart:

This was worth the short wait.:twilightsmile:

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