Chapter 21 - Stable
Holed up in the alleyway, it didn’t take long for us to realize that we were at a slight disadvantage, here.
We couldn’t take off the chain that connected us at each of our front forearms. My magic had run out, so I couldn’t change into a pony, much less do anything else. We had no idea where we were, nor the hospital or the prison. We weren’t even sure if Wheat Flour was in the hospital or in the prison with Fairweather; we had neglected to check that while we were there. We were also fugitives on the run, and probably being hunted by every other available guard in the city. Not to mention any citizen would scream at the mere sight of me, giving away our position.
Okay, we were at more than just a slight disadvantage. We had a worse chance of rescuing our friends than a little league team had at winning the World Series.
But it didn’t stop us from about half an hour of working out what to do next. We started by deciding to go for Wheat Flour first, since she was more in need of rescue. Fairweather was only in jail and could wait for a trial, but Wheat Flour might’ve been dying, and we had to act as quickly as possible.
However, we couldn’t rescue Wheat Flour without knowing for certain where she was. She was taken to the hospital, yes, but she could’ve been moved to the prison, a dungeon below the prison, or somewhere else we hadn’t thought of. The worst possible scenario was that we picked the wrong place, broke into it, and wasted all that time and energy only to find out our princess was in another castle.
So that was step one: try to gather intel on Wheat Flour’s likeliest whereabouts.
To do this, we would need disguises. Whole Grain wouldn’t require much to change her look, but it was going to take more than a moustache to hide that I was a changeling. We’d need a full costume for me, as well as something to cover up the shackles that connected us.
“There’s gotta be a clothing store nearby,” I said. A city this big must’ve had a mall of some sort.
Whole Grain bit her lip. “Even if it’s across the street, you could still be spotted. We need something to cover you up until then.”
I looked around the immediate vicinity. We were in an empty alley, and the only things around us were barrels, grass, and walls. Whole Grain rubbed her chin for a moment, then said, “I think I have an idea.”
~ ~ ~
This was Whole Grain’s bright idea: find an empty barrel, stuff me inside, and roll me down the street. It was a fair idea at the time. We didn’t have much choice, and this way seemed to be the most inconspicuous. But in practice, it was the worst idea ever.
It hadn’t been fifteen minutes, and already I had felt like throwing up. I had, twice, but since I had emptied what little was in my stomach the first time, the second time was just convulsing and gagging. Not my idea of fun, exactly. It didn’t help that the barrel reeked of fish.
The world stopped spinning, but not my stomach. Whole Grain stepped into view and said, “You okay?”
I moaned in complaint. She shrugged and said, “Okay, two minutes.”
Whole Grain stood guard at the mouth of the barrel, ready to step out of the way if I had to throw up again. “We’re almost there,” she said. “There’s a shop up ahead.”
“Good,” I said between pants. “Let’s go. All the way. Rest later.”
She nodded and started to roll the barrel again. I braced myself as the green grass and the white shops spun like a washing machine. I had to hold my arm up so the cuff was free to rotate. We had learned fairly quickly that if I didn’t, the chain would get twisted from all the rotation.
Not half a minute later, we stopped again, and Whole Grain indicated we had arrived. “Don’t move,” she told me. I had no such ambition in the near future, so I stayed put.
I focused on breathing, and trying to stop my head from spinning. I closed my eyes and took slow, deep breaths until my brain no longer felt like it was twisting inside my skull.
Whole Grain’s head appeared at the mouth of the barrel. “I’m not sure about this.”
I held up my hoof to signal her to wait, needing just a little more resting. When I was able to speak, I rolled over onto my stomach and stretched my back. “What’s the matter?”
She frowned and straightened back up, turning the barrel a little more towards an alley. When she came back into view, she sat down and crossed her arms. “I hate all this scheming. We were about to steal. That’s not right. Why can’t we just ask if we can see her?”
“Because they’d notice right away that I’m a changeling,” I said.
“But why do you have to see her?” she said. “Why not just me? The point was to see if she was alive or not, right?”
I mulled this over. Yes, that was the point, wasn’t it? All we needed to know was if she was still alive. Imprisonment was one thing. If she was in jail, we could fight for her in court. But if that was the case, at least there’d be a defendant. If she was in the hospital, that could mean she was dying, or worse.
However, the fact still stood that Wheat Flour was a changeling. I was arrested just for being a changeling. If Whole Grain walked in asking to see one and claimed to be her sister, that might do more than raise some eyebrows.
I relayed this concern to Whole Grain, but she still wasn’t convinced. “I only want to see her,” she said. “It’s not like we need to rescue her.”
“Okay, well,” I said, “if you can figure out a way to unlock this chain, you can go ahead and ask for her.”
She lifted up the cuff on her hoof and frowned. “Right. We could ask a guard.”
“And get thrown right back in jail. There’s no way around this, Whole Grain.”
“So what if we’re thrown in jail? They can’t keep us in there for long. We’ll just ask to see her once we get out.”
“Then what?” I said. I hated to take the conversation in this direction, but it was inevitable. “We don’t know how Wheat Flour is doing. We don’t know how long she’s got. What if tomorrow comes, and she dies, and we’re sitting in jail, thinking, ‘If only we had gone to see her while she was still alive and—’”
“Okay, okay!” Whole Grain said. She closed her eyes, shook her head, and inhaled. “If only we could see the princess, she’d—” Her eyes got wide. “The princess, of course! She could fix everything!” She sprang to her feet and vanished.
“Wait a minute, Whole GraaAAAAaaaaAAAAaaaaAAAAaain!” The barrel rolled again, faster than before, and I braced myself for the impending nausea.
~ ~ ~
“We’re here!” Whole Grain said, I think.
I would’ve muttered something sarcastically, but I was beyond sick at this point. My body felt like it had simultaneously slammed two bottles of vodka and a bucket of sea urchins. The bright side is that everything that felt sore was starting to go numb.
Looking past the spots in my vision, I reached for the light at the end of the barrel and pulled myself forward. I lay on the ground and breathed. Breathed and hoped that Gandalf’s eagles would carry me all the way back home.
After a minute, my eyes adjusted halfway to normal, and I was able to make out the whitish-gold blurs bordering the sky. A group of guards had formed around me. They didn’t pull me up or anything. They just watched, expecting me to perform a magic trick or something.
With fresh, cool air in my lungs, I tried to say, “Could someone help me up, please?” Instead, I slurred and gurgled something like, “Cuh suwuh hemmph pnns.”
Again, no response. Thinking something more physical could work, I stuck out my hoof, accompanied by more slurring and gurgling when attempting to repeat what I had said before.
One guard reached out and shook it. That threw me off. There were friendly ponies among the guards, at least. Where was he when I was pleading and begging for mercy that morning?
I swung my chin down in an attempt to swing my body forward and up, but I slumped back down. I decided to say something much simpler, clearer, and easier to say: “Help.”
There we go. All the guards bent forward and supported me, lifting me back up to a standing position. My head swam a bit as it adjusted to the new orientation, but I got used to it. Two guards helped me stay standing, too.
There was more awkward silence as the six or seven of them stared at me. I hoped they weren’t thinking about locking me up again. Slowly, possible excuses shuffled through my head. I’m sick or injured. I didn’t get a fair trial, nor my phone call. I need a lawyer. I am a lawyer. I’m an ambassador for the changelings. I was enchanted to look like a changeling.
One guard cleared his throat and stepped forward. “State your business here.”
I picked one, carefully articulating my words, though some still sounded slurred. “I’m an ambassador. I’m a changeling ambassador.” I puffed up my chest, as if I was wearing a supplementary uniform. “I’d like to speak with the princess. To discuss...” I eyed the group as I thought of what to say next. “…Terms.”
The guard nodded and said, “Uh, right. Follow me, please.”
I looked at Whole Grain. She gave a disapproving frown, but I could only shrug. Whatever works, right?
The guards led us in procession to the castle. After passing through a gate and over an actual moat, we entered a grand courtyard that gave us a clear view of the castle. It was huge. It was kind of like a Kremlin meets a less symmetrical Taj Mahal. The whites, purples, and yellows were bright but still managed to be warm and inviting. The tall doors at the entrance swung open, and we walked in.
The inside was surprisingly warm, too. Usually, castles use dull or cold colours combined with cathedral-like ceilings that give off some sense of superiority, or even condescension. This one didn’t. The walls and tapestries were warmer and more colourful, with smooth purples and reds and yellows. Tacky, sure, but more welcoming and definitely more creative than the castle stereotype.
The tapestries stifled the echoes of chatter and the clip-clop of our hooves. The lead guard stopped us in the middle of a large rug in the foyer. “Wait here,” the guard said, and he beckoned two of his comrades to follow. We were left with the three remaining guards in the large atrium.
Occasionally, ponies would stare at us as they walked by. Well, not so much stare as steal a glance, then another, then another, and then it became awkward by the time we had made eye contact several times. I was scared. One sudden movement and I could throw everyone into a panic. Which, to be clear, would not be a desirable outcome.
“Say, um,” one of the guards said, rubbing his chest plate, but the guard next to him jabbed him in the shoulder.
Guards wanting to speak with us? Based on our experience earlier that morning, I had barely been able to get more than two words out of them despite my barrage of pleas. Now they wanted to talk to us?
Well, these guards had been unusually considerate towards us. I could humour him. “What was that?” I said.
“No, it’s nothing, never mind.”
He looked away, but I could tell he still wanted to ask. I was curious now. “Please, ask away.”
He turned around and coughed. “Well, uh, I heard a rumor that changelings see using sonar. Is it true?” He tapped his hooves together.
I can’t say I was expecting that. I glanced at the other guards, but they were also looking at me, awaiting an answer. “Uh, no.”
“How about that you can walk through walls? Or that you eat love? Or that you can read minds?”
“The love one’s true,” I was quick to point out. “Not the other ones.” Although walking through walls seemed to only be possible in the dream world, it definitely would’ve come in handy.
“Soldiers, enough.” The three other guards returned, and the leader motioned to me. “This way, please.”
Resuming our procession, we passed through what looked like an intermediate hallway, lined with doors on either side. In between each door was a small stained-glass window, depicting what looked like important or special ponies.
There was one with a group of six surrounding a heart-shaped campfire. Another one showed a white pony and a blue pony pointing horn-flashlights at a black unicorn. Another depicted a pony with a really, really big white beard. It took up half the window, not even kidding.
“Wheat Flour!” Whole Grain blurted.
Startled, I looked around. Sure enough, there was Wheat Flour, or the changeling that used to be her. She was lying down on a stretcher, sleeping. A guard was pushing her right past us.
Whole Grain bolted after her, yanking me on the cuffs that connected us. I stumbled after her as she ran up to the side of the stretcher. “Wheat Flour, is that you?”
The changeling stirred, opening her eyelids halfway and setting her deep blue eyes on Whole Grain. She looked hypnotized and weak. How long did she have left?
“Hey, stop!” a voice yelled behind me.
No. Not fair. I knew where this was going to go. If we went back to that dungeon, we’d be done for, no Fairweather to bail us out. I couldn’t let her saving us be for nothing. I would not let us get caught again.
I grabbed the stretcher away from the guard pushing her and ran down the hallway with it. Whole Grain caught up with me and helped push.
“That way,” I said, pointing to the nearest door. We heaved a hard left as ponies jumped out of our way. The stretcher clattered and squeaked in complaint, but with only a moderate bump on the door frame, we made it through.
We halted almost as soon as we entered. I was expecting another large room like the atrium, but this was small, with no doors or even windows. I turned around and slammed the door.
There was no lock on the door, so I looked around for something heavy to block it, and sure enough, an upright piano sat right next to the door. I tried to pull it, but I couldn’t. Then, using a stray flute on the ground, I did the next best thing and wedged it into the crack between the door and the door frame. Better than nothing.
I looked around the room. The grey walls were lined with assorted black instrument cases, either in racks or leaning against each other in rows. High up near the ceiling, a single square window let sunlight through, illuminating a small swirling flurry of dust particles.
“What were you thinking?” Whole Grain said between pants.
I blinked. “Uh, you helped me.”
She scoffed at me. “I followed your lead. I didn’t think you were gonna hole us up here.”
“I didn’t expect this.” It was a small room, cramped, stuffy, and most importantly, without exits. We had nowhere to run in here. I backed up against the piano, trying to dig myself out of this hole. “You ran to her, and you—”
“But I didn’t want to kidnap her!” She crossed her arms. “I just wanted to see her.”
I nodded to Wheat Flour. “Here we are.”
Whole Grain looked, unfolding her arms. There Wheat Flour was, in a hospital gurney. She was so neatly tucked into the pale green sheets, it was like looking into a coffin. Her hair was in slight disarray but still smooth and shiny, like little brooks of deep blue water running down the sides of her face. Her eyes were half open and her chest rose and fell silently.
I got a better look at her hair from here, too. Long and deep blue, and spotted with holes, just like the holes in her arms. I wondered how strands of hair could part that neatly to form circular holes like that. Then I remembered not to question cartoon physics.
Whole Grain’s eyes didn’t stray from the changeling on the bed. She moved forward, one hoof in front of the other, edging up to the side of the bed. She sat down and brought up her hoof, precariously.
I sat down, almost hypnotized, watching the scene unfold. Her hoof extended over, across the spotless bed sheets. I thought I noticed trembling in her hoof. Gently, she brushed back a few stray strands of the changeling’s hair, tucking them behind her ear. She stroked her sister’s hair, the quivering in her hoof fading with each brush.
She straightened the already-tidy sheets, tucking them further into the corners of the bed. Leaning down, she whispered something into her ear. I didn’t pay close attention to it, as it probably wasn’t my business. Whatever it was, Wheat Flour responded by wrapping her arms around her sister. I blushed and looked away. I felt embarrassed for watching, and let them have their moment.
To think that not days before, Whole Grain would’ve beaten the living daylights out of a changeling, me included. And now here was her sister, a changeling all along, the sole thing Whole Grain had set out to protect her from. I was glad they were making good like this, and proud of Whole Grain that she had sorted out her feelings that quickly, for the most part.
“Sawyer?” I barely heard it.
I turned back to Wheat Flour. She was looking at me now, smiling. She patted the side of the bed, barely moving her hoof, but perhaps because that was all she could manage. I came closer. If she was dying and she wanted to see me one last time, how could I deny that?
Her smile widened as I approached, her teeth showing. They were pearly white with tiny, barely noticeable fangs. Incisors, really, like a human’s. She gazed into my eyes. “Hello.”
“Hello,” I said. “You okay?”
“I’m fine,” she said. She stirred and sat up. Whole Grain tried to stop her, but Wheat Flour shook her head. “Tired. I was sleeping. And happy to see you both.” She stretched, yawning dramatically, I think to prove to us that she was indeed tired and not fatally ill.
“Well, we’re glad that you’re okay,” I said, rocking back and forth a little on my feet.
“Sawyer, come closer.” Wheat Flour raised her hoof, tipping it towards her. I glanced at Whole Grain, as if I needed permission to go any closer. She shrugged.
I came closer, and she brought her hoof up to my face. She gazed at me, her eyelids relaxed. She was happy, and I could feel it. I felt good. Warm all over. Pleasant. A fuzzy feeling, right at the centre of my heart. I relaxed, too, staring into her deep blue eyes.
She brought her hoof up to the top of my head, stroking my webby hair, then proceeded to scratch behind my ear like I was a dog. Normally I might feel offended or even disturbed that someone would think that way of me, but I felt so good, the thought just made me laugh.
“Woof,” I said, unable to stop a stupid grin from spreading across my face. Wheat Flour laughed too and took her hoof away, resting it back down on the sheets.
Our laughter subsided, and we looked at each other for a moment. She loved me; that’s why I felt so good. It felt like stealing, taking all of this good feeling she had for me and not giving it back.
“I know you don’t love me back,” she said, still smiling.
I faltered, a little confused. Was she reading my mind?
She shook her head. “No, I can’t read your mind.”
Um. “But see, the thing is, I was just thinking that.”
She waved it away. “I can read love. Love is but one word to describe it. Romance, affection, care, all different types of love. You do not love me the same way that I love you.” She shrugged. “Simple as that.”
I was shocked. She seemed so nonchalant about it. I thought she’d be more offended I didn’t love her. How was I supposed to respond? She was right; I didn’t love her, not in that way.
I fumbled to say something in response. “You seem so okay with it.”
“Because I am,” she said, relaxing her shoulders to show me that she was. “I’ve had time to think about it. We don’t belong with each other.”
I said nothing. It was true. I’d been thinking it all along, and I was somewhat relieved that she realized the same thing. Her maturity both impressed and pleasantly surprised me. I gained a refreshed respect for her.
She rubbed her eyes and continued. “Do you remember when you found me in the middle of the woods?”
I nodded. I remember tackling her, but “found” was apt enough.
She continued. “I knew you were different right then, different from any other changeling I have met.” She looked at me, almost in wonder. “You told me you wanted to go home. No changeling ever calls their hive ‘home’.”
I looked down at the grey floor. “You can’t say that not even one did.”
“No, I mean it. No changeling I have ever met in my own hive.” She shook her head. “It should not have surprised me that you weren’t of this world.”
I still didn’t quite understand, but I could only nod and take her at her word. “Thank you, for understanding,” I said.
I was impressed. I admit, I had thought she was hopelessly in love with me. However, she was mature enough to tell me that even though I didn’t love her back, she wouldn’t hold it against me. I was partly ashamed, but also in awe. I thanked her again, smiling as I did. Then Wheat Flour looked at her sister and they shared a hug.
I looked around at the dusty, cramped little room we were holed up in. There we were, on the run, being treated as criminals, when these ponies deserved so much better. Not only could they not do wrong, but they did so right. They treated me and each other with such care. I couldn’t let anything bad happen to them again.
Bang! The door rattled. Guards. My heart jumped. They were coming for us, here to take us all away, throw us back in prison.
No, not again. We had to find a way out. Now.
I turned to Whole Grain, standing guard at the bed. Wheat Flour looked worried. “Sawyer, are you all right?” she said.
I looked around for a back door. “We need to get out of here,” I said.
Whole Grain, confused for only a passing moment, stood her ground. “What are you doing?”
Bang, bang! For a moment, I imagined the door threatening to leap off of its hinges. Fixated on the door, I replied, “They’re gonna get us, Whole Grain. We have to run.”
“Why, Sawyer? We’ve seen Wheat Flour. She’s fine,” she was saying, but I stopped paying attention. We had to keep the guards out. The flute wouldn’t hold forever. I put all my faith into Plan B. It would have to work.
I summoned all the magic inside me. Though I physically felt nothing, I imagined reaching into the deepest parts of my body, gathering that energy, and focusing it all into my forehead. All I needed was for all the green goo in me to work its magic, literally.
And it did. Ooze shot from my horn, sticking to the door. I swung the beam around the frame of the door, sealing the gap between door and wall. If it had the strength of concrete or silly putty, I didn’t know, but it would be better than nothing. My head started to hurt again.
The banging continued, but the rattling did not. The goo held, and the door refused to budge despite the beating it was sustaining. I exhaled in relief.
“Sawyer, what are you doing?” Wheat Flour asked.
“Are you out of your mind?” Whole Grain yelled, pulling my face to confront hers. “You just sealed us in here. We’re trapped now!”
“No,” I said, panting a little. “No, escape. We can escape.” There was always another way out. I started looking behind some of the larger instrument cases. “Maybe there’s a trap door hidden somewhere.”
“What?” she said. “Are you serious?”
I looked up at the window, the small square thing. None of us would fit through there, even if we changed into children or something. I stared at that window, expecting it to tell me what to do.
My side panged for a split second. I remembered the sledgehammer of a kick that Whole Grain possessed. I pointed to an open spot of wall. “Kick the wall.”
Whole Grain followed my hoof, blinking. “Excuse me?”
“Kick the wall,” I said, sticking out my back leg to help demonstrate. “Make a hole. We can escape that way.”
Whole Grain’s eyes shot wider than a deer’s in headlights, and she sat down. Holding up a silencing hoof to me, she put her other hoof to her face, taking short breaths. Wheat Flour shifted. “Sawyer, are you all right?”
Bang, bang! “Whole Grain, we don’t have much time.”
“Stop!” she said, then advanced, her neck muscles sticking out. “What are you thinking? Where in Equestria would we go from here?”
Bang bang! “Sawyer, you’re not stable right now,” Wheat Flour said, an edge to her voice. “You need to calm down.”
I turned to the door, spraying it with more goo. I went back over the gaps around the door and crossed the middle. My minor headache quickly became a migraine. I could barely hear Whole Grain over the throbbing.
“This is insane!” Whole Grain yelled. “This is insane and you know it!”
Bang! Ow. Bang! Ow! Every loud impact on the door felt like a shot through my skull. “Do it, Whole Grain!” I said, panic growing in me like a fire, fuming up from the tinder to the kindling. Bang! “Do it!”
“Fine! Fine, Sawyer! Fine!” Whole Grain yelled.
She ran over to the wall, reared up, and sent a swift kick to the wall with a sharp crack. It sounded like the wall was made of stone. Nothing came of it, not even a pebble.
She wound up and kicked harder this time, grunting. Crack!
“Again,” I said. “You’ll get it!”
Bang! Mmm, ow. Sawdust and splinters misted onto me from behind. I turned around and sprayed more goo on the door.
“Please, Whole Grain, Sawyer, stop!” Wheat Flour yelled, but Whole Grain howled in reply as she let loose on the wall once again.
Crack! The noise was loud, now, and even more biting than the door. I winced as the high sound cut through my brain. To cover my ears with my front hooves, I had to kneel down. But Whole Grain was making progress. A small crack had appeared, some dust billowing from it. Bang!
“Keep going!” I yelled. Since my voice sounded muffled, I probably yelled louder than necessary.
Whole Grain screamed something. Crack! The pain increasing, I pressed my hooves harder into my ears. Bang! The sharp edge of my hoof was cutting in somewhere in a tender spot in my head, but I kept it there.
There I lay on the ground, head about to burst, tasting sawdust or rock dust or whatever dust was filling the air. Whole Grain’s crack and the door’s bang became distant and muffled as my hooves and my heartbeat clogged my hearing.
This is what it had come to. There Wheat Flour was, reduced to tears, helpless on the gourney. She was trying to get up but couldn’t. Sobbing, she was saying something to both of us, pleading maybe, but I couldn’t hear a word. Whole Grain was whaling away at the stone wall, making next to no headway. Her face was bent in anger, but mostly in fear, her eyes wide with it. She wiped her mouth and coughed from the dust. Raising her shivering right leg, she let yet another kick into the wall.
Crack!
A yellow hoof hurtled past me, millimeters in front of my eyes, and planted itself firmly against the wheel. I immediately halted, and turned to see a very stern-looking Whole Grain. She spoke slowly and calmly, but firmly.
“It’s great that our Aunt is generous enough to offer you work here, isn’t it, Sissy? However, if I hear one more word come out of that grotesque mouth of yours, I’ll buck you so hard in the face that your eyes will pop out the back of your head.” She leaned in close, drilling her stare into my soul. “Got it?”
She was angry, yes, but afraid, too.
All those nights ago, I had hoped to break the monotony with small talk. That’s what I had told myself. In reality, I had meant to provoke her. That was when I was ignorant, before I understood her and why she was so insistent in protecting her sister. Before I had realized what changelings had really done to them.
What changelings were still doing to them.
I felt terrible. My head hurt like the dickens and my heart even more. Of all the ways to pay them back, this was the worst by far. This was so frustrating. Tears burned at the corners of my eyes. This had to stop.
I looked at Whole Grain, mouthing the word “Stop.” She was so concentrated on that wall that she didn’t see me. In went her knee, and out with another crack!
Taking my hooves out of my ears, I summoned the strength I needed to shout, “Stop!”
She was halfway to winding up again, but she halted. She looked at me, scared as ever. Slowly, she set the hoof down and waited, muscles still tense. She was ready to do whatever I said, as if I was a bank robber holding a gun to her head.
I blinked my tears away and writhed there on the ground. “I—gcch.” I tasted dust, sputtering to spit it out. Instead I let my mouth lay open, my throat scratchy and dry, but I didn’t care. I needed to speak.
“I’m sorry,” I said. I spoke shortly so I could breathe. I glanced at Wheat Flour but looked away almost immediately. “I’m so sorry. I tried to fix this. I can’t. You’ve done so much for me. But I did this to you both. Go home.” I felt choked, ashamed, frustrated that I had done this. “I’m sorry.”
Whole Grain stayed where she was, eyes still wide, muscles still tense. Wheat Flour wiped away her tears, but never took her eyes off of me.
My body relaxed a little. Breathing came a little easier. I tried to pull my body up, to turn around and face the door. I had to cut down all of the slime. I couldn’t stand being the bad guy.
What was left of the door was a mess. The door had been broken up into large wooden pieces, each held in place by the slime. Some of the slime had dropped out and fallen to the bottom, though, and a head-sized hole had formed in the middle.
A blue pony was watching us, and I couldn’t quite recognize the face. She stared at me for a moment with concern, then stepped out of view. “Clear the entryway,” she said.
I exhaled. Please, let it be over, I thought. I can’t do this anymore.
Within a minute, all the goo was pulled back from the door. Then, guards filed in, followed by a few medical personnel. I put up my hooves in surrender. A nurse slowly laid me down. I stared at the stone ceiling and answered her questions. Are you okay, what’s your name, what hurts, does it hurt when I touch this, how about this, and such. She flashed a bright light in my eyes. Then more poking.
I couldn’t bear to look at Whole Grain or Wheat Flour. I’d done so much damage. I had to stop pretending this was repaying them in any way. I had to get out of their lives. I needed to go home.
The blue pony then stood over me, little lights in her blue hair sparkling like stars in the night sky. “What do you have to say for yourself?” she asked.
This was it. I’d earned myself ten years in prison for harassment or disorderly conduct or false imprisonment or whatever they could pin on me. “It’s all me,” I said. “It’s my fault. Please let them go home. They didn’t do anything wrong.”
She glanced around and looked at me with her mint green eyes. “You were the one hurt most; your companions barely even have scratches. The total damage you’ve caused amounts to a broken door and a crack in the wall.” She narrowed her gaze at me. “What do you think you did?”
I shrugged. “I just wanted to protect them. Please let them go.”
Her jaw tightened a little, and I could see her brow furrow a bit in thought or in anger; it was hard to tell. She stepped back for a minute to speak with a guard. The nurse came back for more poking and questions. I think she poked every point on my head at least twice. She put something ice cold on my head, probably for the headache. It helped.
The blue pony came back, her hair perpetually flowing, like Celestia’s. “What’s your name?”
Might as well tell the truth this time. “Sawyer,” I said.
She relaxed at this, but also seemed a little sad. “Well, Sawyer, you came to see Celestia, so that is what we will grant you. If you would come with me, I will personally escort you and your companions to her.”
Finally. Please let this be over.
~ ~ ~
The nurse wrapped something around my head, slipping the ice pack under the wrapping so it stayed there. The wrapping made sounds more muffled, but I could still hear okay. A doctor there recommended that I rest for a bit, but I insisted that I could walk.
After the medical team released me, I followed the blue pony with the guards. Pushed by her sister, Wheat Flour sat in a wheel chair, at the insistence of the nurses. I kept glancing to my right to make sure the wheat sisters were still there.
The hall opened up to a room the size of a ballroom, the ceilings stretching as high as thirty feet. The stained-glass windows here were much larger than before, illuminated by plenty of natural light. If the ponies on the windows before were special, these must’ve been super special. I noted more groups of six. Must’ve been a lucky number here.
We were led inside the massive doors to the throne room, even larger than the previous room. I immediately recognized it from the dream Lucid had shown me. A simple red carpet led up to an ornate throne on the other end of the room. There sat the princess, exactly as I remembered her. The blue pony walked up to the princess and spoke with her for a few minutes out of earshot.
My hooves became clammy. I couldn’t think of what I was going to say. Should I tell her the truth? Should I stick with my lie about being a changeling ambassador? How firm of a ruler was she? What would appeal to her, and what would lead us right back into prison again?
The blue pony motioned for us to join them, and the guards let us forward. We stopped around twenty feet away from Celestia, where Lucid had been standing at the beginning of the dream. Celestia glanced at us, then spoke. “Guards, you may leave us.”
Somepony that looked like a higher-ranking officer stepped forward. “But, Your Highness, if I may—”
“I have been fully informed of the situation. I understand the risks.” She inclined her head slightly. “You may leave us.”
The guards turned around and filed out of the room, the doors creaking closed behind us. I tried to move past the nervous lump in my throat to speak, but the princess looked like she was about to say something, so I waited.
“Well, what a welcome to Canterlot, mm, Sawyer?” She laughed a little, not with contempt but in a subdued, almost nervous way. She stepped off the throne and walked towards me. “I sincerely apologize for the way you’ve been treated today. I chose not to inform all of my guards of your arrival. I see now that that was a mistake.”
What? “My arrival?”
“Indeed. I suppose you wouldn’t have known that, though.” She extended her hoof, capped with a sparkling golden shoe. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Sawyer. I’m Princess Celestia. I rule this land alongside my sister here, Princess Luna.”
I reached out and shook their hooves automatically, one after the other. It still seemed surreal to me that they had been expecting me. “You knew I was here in this world?”
“Only since a few days ago,” she replied. With a magic poof, she made a scroll appear. She unrolled it and floated it over to me, placing it in front of me. “Professor Lucid and I have been keeping in touch. This was our last correspondence.”
Lucid? I said nothing and read the scroll.
Dear Princess Celestia,
I was ambushed here in Fairflanks by a changeling who claimed to be from the same hive as the human (who has now revealed his name to be Sawyer). After wrapping me into a cocoon, this changeling audibly vowed revenge on Sawyer before I lost consciousness. As soon as somepony found me and freed me, I wrote this letter to alert you.
Sawyer might now be travelling with a changeling disguised as myself. I will do my best to catch up with them, but as of now, he may be in danger. I must ask that action be taken for the sake of his protection. He is unfamiliar with this world, and although he seeks the castle in Canterlot, he only has a vague notion of where that is.
Below that paragraph were brief descriptions of me (my changeling form and my aliases, Gouda and Copper), Whole Grain, Wheat Flour, Fairweather, and even 6 F 26. At the bottom was his signature: “Regards, Dr. Lucid”
The blue pony, Luna, spoke up. “In response to this, we did take action. I visited your dream that night to see if all was well, and it was.”
Visited my dream? This was starting to become both overwhelming and creepy. “Whoa, slow down, please. You visited my dream?”
She nodded. “It is within my power to do so. I was able to find you last night by locating your dream.” Her eyes glistened a little in marvel. “I saw many unfamiliar creatures there. I assume those were the ‘humans’ your friend Lucid described, yes?”
“Yeah,” I said. “That’s us.” Strange creatures indeed, says the seven-foot-tall horse with wings and a horn.
I looked down at the scroll again. I skimmed the corners for a date or a day, but I couldn’t find one. I then realized that would be useless, since I had forgotten what day it was anyway. “How long have you and Lucid been sending letters about me?”
She poofed out four more scrolls and laid them out. “Since four days ago, when he met you in Vanhoover.”
So Lucid had been pen pals with the princess this whole time? Why didn’t he tell me? He could’ve written a much more concise letter saying, “Hey, the human’s here in Vanhoover or Manehattan or Fillydelphia or whatever the city of the day is, come get him. XOXO.”
I didn’t bother reading the rest of the scrolls. “Why didn’t you send somepony to get me then?”
“Lucid described you as a being from another dimension, and asked me what I wanted to be done,” she said, pointing to one of the scrolls I hadn’t read yet. “I wanted to determine whether your kind was friendly or not. Lucid followed you partly under my direction, mostly under his.” She smirked. “I could tell from the enthusiasm of his first letter that he was beyond curious about you.”
Hence the barrage of questions about my world. I could see why he’d follow me, then, but still not why Celestia didn’t send anyone at all. “You could’ve sent somepony, at least. For protection, maybe, like Lucid said in his letter.”
“We didn’t have an urgent reason to act until Professor Lucid sent that letter.” Celestia nodded to Luna to continue, who stepped forward.
“We arranged to have a group of guards greet you at the train station here and lead you to the castle. That is, until an emergency stop was reported at the base of the mountain. Eyewitnesses told us that you and Whole Grain here were heading up to Canterlot. The guards at the train station were then repositioned to the front of the castle, and here we are.”
This was all a little too much for me. I sat down, rubbing my eyes. “Yes, here we are.”
Whole Grain spoke up. “How did Wheat Flour end up here?”
“I wanted to test you, Sawyer,” Celestia said.
No, I couldn’t have heard that right. The bandage over my ears must’ve affected my hearing. “Excuse me? You wanted to test me?”
“Yes, I wanted to pass your friend by you and see what would happen. I had enough of a description of your world and your people from Lucid, but I wanted to see what your values were.”
Okay. Okay then. They made me go through that whole ordeal in the storage room, thinking all of us were in danger of incarceration or worse, holing up the wheat sisters and making them feel captive, and exhausting my magic and health to protect them from the guards, just to test my values? “My values? I could’ve died there!”
“Yes, you injured yourself saving your friend. An extreme reaction, and an irrational one at that, but an admirable one.”
Yeah, I injured myself and I could’ve died, all for some test. Was that something to be taken so lightly? I fumed, fighting the urge to punch something, namely the princess in the face.
A sullen look flashed over Celestia’s face. “I’m sorry, Sawyer, but I wanted to know,” she said. “That’s the only time I’ve ever tested you like that.”
I heard an apology in there, at least. Still, that was not a considerate thing to do. Normal people don’t test other people like that. I no longer wanted to punch her, but I was still mad. “Just tell me that the test is over.”
She nodded. “It’s over.”
That would be good enough for now. I exhaled and nodded, tired. I felt very much like sleeping, even more if it was in my own bed.
“Did he pass?” Wheat Flour asked.
“Well, it is apparent your kind values friendship as much as we do here in Equestria,” she said, smiling again. “Perhaps our worlds can meet and make peace one day.”
Oh, well, um. “Not anytime soon, but yeah, sure, in the distant future, maybe.” Colourful, talking ponies running around cities and humans not freaking out was hard to imagine. “The way distant future.”
~ ~ ~
Afterwards, the princess pardoned us of any crimes we were accused of that day. Soon enough, Fairweather was released, and we were all sent to a sitting room to rest, recover, and eat. Flowers never tasted better. Okay, not really, but there were fruits and vegetables too.
We waited there for another day. After multiple apologies on my part, the wheat sisters were eventually able to put the whole storage room incident behind us, and so was I after a time. We were safe now, at our destination, with all the amenities we could ever ask for. At least any and all “tests” were over with for now.
Wheat Flour was worried where she might go after revealing herself as a changeling. She didn’t want to be a pony anymore and was worried that others in Vanhoover wouldn’t accept it, but she didn’t want to offend her sister by not going back to the wheat farm. Whole Grain assured her that she understood.
Fairweather suggested Hollow Shades. Then, as soon as she came up with that idea, she immediately started to babble about how she could move there too and sell her inn because it was old and falling apart anyway and out in the middle of nowhere and she’d rather be living with good friends, etcetera. Wheat Flour stopped her there and said she’d definitely think about it, which merely set Fairweather off again. It was a pleasant kind of annoying.
Lucid came on the early morning train, satchel and all. Celestia had sent him a letter catching him up on everything. He was quick to apologize about our disagreement in Fairflanks, but I had long since disregarded it by then. He wished me luck going home, briefly suggesting that he wanted to come with me, but I was just as quick in dissuading it. I’d had enough adventure to last a lifetime.
Soon, Celestia invited all of us into her throne room, and through the secret passage to her hidden study. It was exactly as I had remembered it in the dream, with the semicircular row of bookshelves halfway filled with tomes of all types and ages, the cleared-off desk in the middle of the room, and the ominous yellow orb in the middle. There were many more candles this time, at least.
There the orb was, humming low, shining a soft luminescent yellow and spinning a little. My ticket home, finally. “There it is,” I said stupidly.
We all stared at it for a minute. “What is it?” Fairweather piped up.
“It’s how Sawyer came here,” Celestia replied.
I realized something that had been burning at the back of my mind since I’d seen it in the dream. I turned to her, almost afraid to be so blunt. “Why did you bring me here?”
She looked down, her voice dropping in volume. “I didn’t mean to. It was an accident.” She walked around the orb to the desk, and sat down beside it. “Long ago, my sister, Luna, was overcome with darkness and became Nightmare Moon. I had no choice but to banish her for a thousand years.”
Right, the thousand year thing. I remembered Lucid mentioning that. Still awfully long for a time-out.
“I searched for years for a way to bring her back to Equestria before then. At one point, I had considered time travel. If I could go back in time and convince my younger self to be more patient and understanding with my sister, maybe she wouldn’t have attracted the darkness in the first place. She was resentful because I was arrogant.”
She sighed, but a solemn Luna walked up to her and offered her a hug. Celestia gave a small smile and continued. “Time travel was not possible at the time, however. Not until recently, when Lucid published his research suggesting otherwise.”
Lucid stepped forward, glancing between the princesses and the orb. “I found a way to traverse dimensions through dreams, like I showed you, Sawyer. But while you only went back a few days or so, Princess Celestia wanted to go back over a thousand years. I’d never tried anything on that scale before. But, as we discovered, the farther away the dimension, the harder it is to pin down.”
Celestia nodded. “I saw many strange worlds, none of them my own. It was a very surreal experience, and I tried to focus on the time I wanted to go to, but I couldn’t. I imagine you got pulled through with me, somehow. That’s the most reasonable explanation we could come up with,” she said.
Lucid nodded at that. “When she added more magic to the spell, she could have more than a ghost-like presence and be able change the past, which was her aim. We figure that’s how she accidentally pulled you here with her.”
So it was indeed an accident, in a very roundabout and convoluted way. I honestly didn’t care a whole lot at that point, as long as the reason wasn’t “for the fun of it”, or “to test you” again.
I said my goodbyes. Celestia and Luna both wished me well. Lucid told me to take care of myself, and thanked me for playing along. I thanked him back. Fairweather hugged me and told me several times how much she’d miss me, each time punctuated with an extra squeeze.
Whole Grain shook my hoof. I thanked her for the twentieth time since yesterday. She waved it off and smiled. “You would’ve done the same for me. You’re a good pony, though a crazy one.”
“You too,” I said, and we chuckled at that.
Then it came to Wheat Flour. She had been out of the wheelchair since that morning. Standing at full height, she was tall, halfway between her sister and Celestia. I was almost intimidated, but her smile relaxed me.
I thought about everything she had done. In Vanhoover, she had invited me into her home and insisted she accompany me to Canterlot, and she had every step of the way. She blew her multi-year long cover as a changeling and almost died trying to save me on the train. Words couldn’t truly express my gratitude, but I tried anyway.
“Thank you,” I said. “So much.”
She smiled. “You have a good heart, Sawyer. We’ll miss you.” She glanced behind me. The reflection of the orb shimmered in her dark blue eyes. “Will we see you again?”
I looked down and shook my head. “I don’t think so.” I couldn’t leave on something negative like that, though. “But I’ll remember you.”
She pulled me into a hug. “Me too.” Her warm love surged through me one last time.
We backed away from the hug, smiling. I turned around to face the orb, the bright yellow glow almost blinding. Finally, after all this time, I could go back home. I gave everybody one last wave before walking forward, into the light. My head touched the orb and I entered the dream world.
So many worlds passed by me, but it was less chaotic than the last time I’d been in this state. I was calm, not having to worry about where I was going—the destination was set. I was going home. The erratic colours started to get darker, and my body felt heavier and heavier.
Then I woke up.
I opened my eyes slowly. The dull beige of my ceiling greeted me. I stared at it for a minute, wondering if I was still being transported through space and time. But I felt my hands, I knew they were there. I stretched out my fingers and felt the soft sheets of my bed. This was home.
I pulled back the sheets and got up. My hands were back, and my feet, and my clothes, and my human skin. After putting on a shirt, I continued through the rest of my house, stumbling a bit as I got used to bipedalism again.
This was my bedroom. This was my kitchen, my stove, my clock. My living room, my television, my recliner. I ran outside, this was my house, my lawn, my street.
No one else was outside. It was an hour or so after dawn, the sun peeking over the row of houses. I stood there, alone, in my bare feet, my shirt half tucked in to my boxers. It was chilly outside.
I checked the calendars on all my digital devices. They told me that yesterday, Thursday, September 20th, I had gone to sleep. It was as if nothing had happened.
I took the week off of work. Soon, I started to write it down. Unlike a regular dream, I remembered everything clearly, like it had all actually happened within the past week. I wrote for the next five weeks or so until it was all down on paper.
Now here I am, sitting in front of my desktop at one-thirty in the morning, in a sweater and boxers, having almost forgotten about how it felt like to have fingerless stubs for hands. I’m also drinking a cup of coffee. I’ve had two every day since I came back.
It took some getting used to, sitting at home and wondering whether or not it really was a dream, and occasionally, whether what I was experiencing right now was a dream. The more time went on, the more I doubted if it had all actually happened.
I miss it, though. Even though I hated the unfairness of it, all of the drawbacks along the way, I can’t say I didn’t like the adventure. As much as it was inconvenient, it was somewhat exciting. And now, thanks to the wheat sisters, I have a new appreciation for good friends.
Would I do it again? Well, maybe, now that I’m more familiar with the world, and that I know a few ponies there. And Hollow Shades is a hell of a place. But I’ll steer clear of trains, thank you. Walking suits me just fine.
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T'was quite the journey, that one.
I peeked into this adventurer here and there on google docs, I read a few chapters of the beginning and a few in the middle. Its an interesting story. Maybe I'll read the sequel.....should you choose to make one.
Man this has been a long time running. I remember first catching this on EqD and reading it on Google docs. This was an amazing story to read and I enjoyed every minute of it. Personally I love this world and would love to see a sequel!
It's over? It's over...
Well, it was a fun journey, and I thank ya for it.
Maybe.
5494770 Glad to hear you enjoyed it!
As far as a sequel, I do have a few ideas for one, but I think I'm going to put that on the way back burner for now. I'd like to work on other stories first, then I might consider doing a sequel, if at all.
5494817 Glad to hear it. Thank you for reading, sir. ^^
Was anyone else hoping he stayed one way or another?
... I'm not sure what's going on with Wheat Flour.
On one hand, it looked like has been living with Whole Grain since they were both young fillies.
On the other hand, in this very chapter, she says stuff about typical changeling outlooks, which implies she had enough of a life before Whole Grain that she knows common outlooks and is cynical about it (typically you don't get that sort of feeling until adolescence...). So... either she's not been living with Whole Grain the whole time, or she was already old enough to have clear memories beforehand, and could be much older than Whole Grain, then?
And, presumably the switch happened when Whole Grain was attacked by changelings... did Wheat Flour exist before that? Was there a kidnapped filly that is being ignored? Was Grain too young to not remember Wheat Flour didn't exist before the attack?
Not to mention that the question of whether or not Whole Grain accepts or rejects Wheat Flour lying to her all their lives was left open ended.
I otherwise did enjoy the ending, even if it was a little abrupt.
5496041 Yeah, that's something I didn't explain very well within the story.
Here's what happened: Wheat Flour escaped her hive in her teens. Once in Vanhoover, she changed into a filly and ended up at an orphanage. When this story takes place, she's actually in her early 30s, although posing as a pony around Whole Grain's age, whom I consider to be about 20. I put some of the pieces of the puzzle there but not enough, I don't think.
As for the second point, the pony that Wheat Flour changed into didn't exist previously. Changelings can only copy an existing pony, but I barely (and poorly) hinted at one point that with the right kind of love, a changeling can change into an original pony, picking whatever colour, mane, etc. they want. So Wheat Flour didn't take the place of any filly at the orphanage; she just made one up and stuck with it from there.
Again, these were both poorly explained and Wheat Flour isn't well-developed as a result, I think, but you were intuitively correct. Also, the open ending is intentional. I feel at that point, they would realistically need more time to sort out their feelings about the whole thing.
I thought this story sounded familiar, then I realized I read half of it over a year ago. Glad to see it finished, author.
A bittersweet ending. Thanks for taking us all on the adventure to get to it author.
Me likey.
My god, this was so slow...but the ending of it was satisfying. I'm never going to read this again, it was exhausting and I don't particularly care for Sawyer's character. ...But I have to admit it was good,
Good luck on your next story..
The story was very interesting. Though I can't help but find Celestia to be a bitch. I mean, she drags a creature from another dimension with her, she KNOWS he's there, and she decides to "test" him? That's really goddamn arrogant. YOU took HIM out of his dimension. What the hell do you want to "test" him for?
That was my only problem with this story, to be honest. The rest was pretty good.
Great story, and quite nice interpretation of yhe changelings. I liked the characters and the flow of the story until the end, it surprised me that it finish so suddenly. It quite remembered me to the neverending story (the movie)
5826085 *Looks at the lyrics and hums the tune* You know, that fits surprisingly well... xD Could definitely work for a tune. Didn't have that one in mind when writing it, though. If anything, I emulated the "down by the bay" bit from "Down by the Bay", but that's about it.
5776176
That doesn't surprise me. The Neverending Story movie is just the first half of the book (and the second movie is a divergent mess). The ending was rushed because they had to cap off a story arc that was aiming to be twice as long.
5877072 we agree
...huh.
I guess sometimes the adventure ends and you just end up back at home.
No epic resolution, no grand finale or 'happily ever after'.
Just your old life... just like it was before only now you're different and nothing quite feels the same.
This was an interesting experience. It started generic and acceptably underwhelming but around halfway there I realized how invested I really got into everything. Nice work!!!
I don't like the ending. I hoped I would have, but I don't. Still, this is going to be one of my favorite stories (even though it makes me feel so sad), just because of how it hit me right there in the chest with that ending. I won't forget the feeling.
5495730 And heck yeah! The guy just left a flippin' fantasy world literally filled with magic and magical flippin' creatures for a normal flippin' life on Earth! Of course I was hoping he'd stay...
Finally I finished it! Good story. There was some drag at times, but it was definitely an interesting read. If you'll ever write a sequel, I'll definitely read it.
It has it's flaws but overall, a decent story.
This has a lot of potential, Great work for a first fiction
And finish, I'm disappointed that he chose to come back, reality sounds so dull in comparison to magical rainbow ponyland, but i guess some people just prefer this way. I am interested to know what happened to Wheat Flour.
Also, the princess was trying to time travel so she attempted to go into the past, and when she came back she brought him with her, so does that means he lived in the past relative to Equestria?
7495843 It's sort of stated in-text, but probably not as clearly as it could be. The idea I had in mind is that it takes as much energy to travel back in time as it does to travel across alternate universes without changing time. So when Celestia tried to travel back 1000 years, it was so unstable that she reached a human dimension in the present time.
Gosh darnit Celestia!
Well, he never did return that blanket, or the hockey mask, or the... You know what, doesn't matter. At least he made it back cleanly, despite all the loose ends he left behind.
Good job!
7722605
Some people didn't like where they thought that scene was going.
8183563 I know that this fic was written before that, lol, I was just throwing that out there.
And actually in his first episode, Thorax was on the verge of starvation, and said to Spike that he hadn't eaten love since the invasion. He stopped feeling hunger after he got a few friends (AKA carb-free love substitute, lol). Not that this affects the fic, just correcting you about Thorax's hunger.
Wow these ponies are super chill. I did not expect this.
...
Overall I really do like this fic, it's one of the better ones I've read. I don't personally understand Sawyer's decision to return at the end, though. Maybe I'm just really detached from this world.
"And that, is how I became a 'Brony'"
Just a little pointless criticism here;
Story was rushed,
Not much character development.
Random things happened at random places at random times because they either werent't written well or well thought out.
Other than that, an ENJOYABLE marathon. Now excuse me while I go to sleep and get up in 2 hours for work. Worth it.
8227663
Here-here!
All right. Overall, writing was excellent. You make great characters, and great situations. It was quite enjoyable.
But at the end, the overarching plot is a bit unsatisfying.
You see, there really isn't that much achieved through the plot of this story. So there is no real resolution.
He made some friends, but that doesn't really matter, as he is never going to see them again. His life was not particularly improved overall at the end, and in general, it was just an experience. Like a roller coaser, you end up right back where you start.
There are two main ways this could have been fixed. Either he stays in Equestria, and you actually write in that teased romance thing, or you highly develop exactly what great things he is missing in the human world.
As it is, you already asserted how he didn't really love his job, or anything, his only sibling is estranged, and he never really talked about his parents. The only thing tying him to the human world is the lack of good experiences in Equestria, and a sense of "home." As if he couldn't make one with all the friends he was growing attached to.
Oh, another ending that... isn't quite as good, but would have at least done something is if you did something like let him keep his changeling powers or some such nonsense. It would at least distract from the empty feeling of losing friends.
This may sound like I hated it. In fact, I had a very good time reading this. But it left a feeling that everything was all for naught. And the fact that I liked it means that I fight to make it better that much more.
(I understand that there is only a very slim chance that you edit this particular story. But my advice may make future stories better. That is my end goal. I have no animosity whatsoever towards you or what you wrote.)
8628699
Yeah, the chances are quite low that I'll go back and change this story. However, I do appreciate the feedback here because as you say, it helps future projects, so thank you very much :>
I think you hit the nail on the head.
You make a very good point, that overall, it didn't quite go anywhere. I think my main problem with this story was as I wrote it, I only looked ahead as far as the next chapter, rather than keeping an overarching plot in mind. I wish I had put more development in that regard, that he more tangibly changed by the end, and had more solid reasoning / motivation to either stay in Equestria or go back home.
Looking back on it, I think motivating him to stay home would've meant putting more focus on and more direct comparisons to the human world, which I think would've detracted from the focus on Equestria. So really, if I were to go back and change this, I'd write it so it'd make more sense for him to choose Equestria. But, shoulda coulda woulda. I've got other projects on my plate that I'd like to get to too, lol.
Anyway, thanks again for commenting, I always find it helpful to go back and revisit stories like this :>
8636563
Thanks for the response, and I'm glad I could help!
I loved this story it was great loved the adventure in it.
TBH if I went to equestria id explore and id be fun to make some friends along the way.
you know I wonder what would happen if all the good bronys in the fandom (as in no assholes ) come to equestria
I wander what everyone would do? I think a lot of people would be exploring like me id be fun to meet some others and explore with them I think id be really cool.
I love the story overall, a really great read. If I'm being objective, this is really worth the read. The author did a good job in creating various emotions through words, especially suspense. The pacing is good and consistent, too.
Personally though, I find the ending a bit weak. I don't know why, but I feel like there's so much more that could've been done. A pet peeve of mine is when everyone just went and dropped larger glaring issues away in favour of completing the story. Actually, I think that 's why I'm a bit disappointed by the ending; it rushes to complete the journey, and the pace lurched forward too fast, too sudden.
Aside from that, totally a good read. Highly recommendable.
Wow! I really liked this story! It’s got some nice character and rather charming air about it. Nothing too fancy but it was a delightful read