tailsopony
Joined 20th May, 2012 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- libertydude · 8k words · 40 13 · 838 views
- Arkunus Stilshire · 39k words · 32 9 · 1.1k views
- tailsopony · 12k words · 111 14 · 1.5k views
- PLAYBRONY · 8.7k words · 28 33 · 722 views
- Pillowfight · 35k words · 100 38 · 2.3k views
- Pillowfight · 3.5k words · 32 16 · 1.1k views
- Skyreads · 2.4k words · 26 12 · 634 views
- Violagameboy · 137k words · 52 7 · 1.2k views
Featured In29
Clopfics11,546 stories ·15,815 members
Dark8,311 stories ·3,763 members
Twilight is Best Pony6,373 stories ·3,071 members
Twilight Sparkle12,272 stories ·4,755 members
Spike Fanfictions5,587 stories ·2,955 members
Twilight and Spike2,222 stories ·966 members
Hypnosis and Mind Control1,612 stories ·3,852 members
Anthropomorphics7,626 stories ·5,017 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.144 seconds
Total duration
993 users online
1,622,655 hits today, 2,244,100 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
It was a joy to pre-read this dark, fucked-up fic. Patiently hoping for a sequel
What in the name of celestia did I just read??!
11747169
And thank you for reading it! I appreciate your input a bunch!
11747237
A totally ethical scientific research journal with no issues whatsoever. Everything is fine.
Twilight's slow corruption was so good! I loved seeing poor little Gabby get tied up more and more into this mess. Especially the relapse at the end.
11747320
Thanks! Yeah, it took about 10 months, but she's, uh, got different priorities by the end. She's made some sacrifices, and they didn't exactly pan out the way she planned, but she likes how it's going, and that's really the important thing, right? A lot of the story is her pursuing dead leads and making mistakes that make sense to her at the time. That's why she keeps reviewing old entries, she's trying to do better. But somehow, she only seems to do worse. I think I like this one more than most of the readers will. lol.
It's killing me that at least 70 people skipped the middle chapters and went straight to the end. November is like the hottest chapter, IMO, but it's the least read by a wide, wide margin(56 in November vs 130 in the back cover chapter... wtf?). The data here is rough to see.
Your writing is inspirational. This was an exquisite blend of erotica and thriller, masterfully presented and absolutely gripping. You should be very proud of yourself for this.
11747590
I wouldn't say I'm proud of this, but I enjoy it! lol. I'm amazed you have a 2 million word an fiction based in a D20 world. That's something actually unique, and at the very least you should be proud of the effort you've put into it! Also, I had a lot of help from Equimorto and Oblivion 2k on the proof reading section. This one had a lot of small errors when I was ready to post, and they helped me clean it up.
I'm glad some people are enjoying it, and I'm kinda surprised it made it this high in the feature box with the mandatory explicit non-con tax. I have a few other stories people have said are good mixes of erotica and "some other genre", so it might be worth checking my stuff if you liked this.
I love getting comments and hearing what people think, especially the negative comments! Please let me know if you felt anything was lacking. (For instance, in Keep it in the Closet, the negative comments convinced me to change the tags and add a trigger warning! And the comments on Silicon hearts really made me think about the characters.) Thanks for the comment, and thanks for reading!
Quick question, Spike's seed actually is dangerous to other creatures that are not dragons or alicorns it seems. So realistically the relationship was doomed from the start. But I love the elements of forbidden passing secret lust and desires. You sprinkled on the story that already had such an interesting premise
This was fucking harrowing and remarkably well done. Really, kudos. This was so tense and I couldn't take my eyes off of it for one single moment.
The tone and pacing are fantastic and it made me fucking squirm with how uncomfortable it was. Really really really great job.
11747628
Yes and no. Yes his seed is dangerous. I think it was interesting that dragon physiology was so very different than anything else in the show (bathe in lava, breathe fire, eat gems, etc. The next closest thing from the show is griffons putting rocks in their food.) So I figured a creature that breathes fire and bathes in lava probably had dangerous bodily fluids to the "normal" creatures. And since no other dragon lives with Equines, they'd never know about the semen issue.
However, Without her intervention, he wouldn't have pursued anything sexual for a long time. Dragons live for hundreds of years, so Spike probably has a few stages of his life to go. Now Gabby might have got herself in trouble though. She likely would have tried to do something dicey with him eventually. However, the first instance would have been a small amount, and probably only caused a nasty burn or something. Twilight's, uh, training, built up his load size to truly dangerous levels.
Thanks for the comment and the question!
11747630
I like to make things a little uncomfortable. lol. I actually do put a lot of work into these weird stories, so it's nice to see when someone appreciates them. Thank you for the comment!
The only part that pulled me out of the story was Twilight's corruption. I was hoping it was internal. That she was letting the situation get out of control because of her desires. Once the source was confirmed I lost interest. It became less about the characters and more about the source being a magical macguffin.
Overall this is an amazingly well written story and did enjoy it alot. Am I happy with the ending, not really, but that’s because I’m a sap who love a positive outcome. Really just bumps the story down from an eight to a seven for me though, so not saying much.
Would I have been happier if Twilight overcame or learned to control herself? Yes. Do I want the story to change? No.
Though after reading this story I do look forward to stumbling across more of your works in the future and will be diving into what you have written after I finish my comment.
May good fortune be plentiful and writing blocks scarce.
is this lovecraft? I'm scared
I haven't felt this uncomfortable reading something in a long time. Gross, grim, and enthralling in all the worst ways.
Well done.
11747599 Thanks for the kind words about my story; I really appreciate it!
In terms of what was lacking in this one, I usually don't focus on the negatives if I liked what I read. The overall goal, after all, is enjoyment, and if the work in which I partook succeeded in that regard (and I'm driven to give feedback that isn't a full-on review), then I prefer to focus on that fact that it accomplished what it set out to do (i.e. be a worthwhile investment of the time spent on it).
Having said that, I can certainly understand wanting to know where your weaknesses are (so as to better address them next time), so since you asked for it, I do have a single criticism with regard to this story, which is that the lack of presence of other characters beyond the principle three (i.e. Twilight, Spike, and Gabby) becomes notable after a certain period of time.
Part of this is in the premise. Twilight wants to test dragon semen, and notes early on that Spike is the only such dragon she can collect samples from (and that there are no female dragons for her to contrast his sperm with). However, this fic seems to take place after (or at least, in and around) The Last Problem (season nine, episode twenty-six), when Twilight has become the sole ruler of all of Equestria. At that point, relations with the dragons seem to have become at least somewhat normalized (judging by the dragons who showed up at her coronation, and who we see (I think) at the School of Friendship during the musical montage that ends the episode). Why can't she just teleport to the Dragonlands and ask Ember for a sample, or give a couple of handjobs to Garble? Even if we presume that her initial focus on Spike (before her corruption) was because of some deep-seated desire for him that she couldn't admit to herself, it still seems like she should have at least addressed why she wasn't going further afield for a sample, since doing so was entirely viable for her.
But really, that's a lesser concern than how no one else – none of her friends, family, associates, etc. – apparently noticed anything was wrong for months on end. That, when you stop and think about it, begins to strain disbelief. The Last Problem called out that friendships can fray over time as people move on in life, but it also expressly had Twilight and the rest of the Mane Six going out of their way to say that those friendships can still be actively sustained if you put in the work to do so, and that they had. That by the time November is over, no one has noticed how Twilight's behavior has changed, is hard to believe...and that's doubly true for Spike, who apparently has little in the way of dissembling skills, and is supposed to be an ambassador anyway; someone should have noticed something.
This is especially true when you realize that it's not just limited to the Mane Six. Gallus is one of (captain of?) Twilight's guards. Luster Dawn seems like she'd probably run into Twilight at least as often as when Twilight ran into Celestia back during the early days of the show. Presuming Luna still looks in on dreams, wouldn't she notice when Twilight's become disturbed? What about when Twilight and Spike are expected to show up for a birthday party for Flurry Heart, or Little Cheese? This fic addresses Hearth's Warming, saying that Twilight dodged everyone there, spending the holiday by herself (with Spike and Gabby), but that's not the only social event she'd be expected to attend over the ten-month period which this fic takes place; even if she was relatively normal during the earlier months, there'd still be things going on toward the end of the year which should raise eyes among the people who know her and Spike.
Speaking of Spike, why didn't he call on Discord when he and Gabby tried to make a break for it? Sure, he'd be embarrassed talking to anyone else about what was happening, but I can't see him at no point saying "Hey, Captain Wuzz, I need you to do me a major solid by removing the chastity spell on my dick and not ask me any questions about who put it there or why." Heck, he's seen Rarity fall under the sway of dark magic in Inspiration Manifestation (season four, episode twenty-three) not to mention his own experience with "greed-induced bigness" in Secret of My Excess (season two, episode ten); even if he can't see an obvious cause for it, by the time he sees Twilight eating gems it should be enough (in conjunction with her behavior) to convince him that he needs to tell someone that something's seriously wrong with her; whether it's calling Celestia out of retirement, sending a letter to Starlight Glimmer at the School of Friendship, asking Thorax to make sure she's not a rogue changeling in disguise, something.
Heck, why didn't Twilight ever ask Celestia or Luna if they'd had a dragon lover over the course of their lives? Sure, that'd potentially give away her feelings toward Spike, but given that Equestria is in a new era of international relations, she could conceivably say that a dragon from somewhere else caught her eye and have that be the end of it.
Obviously, any of these had the potential to undercut the story (which, again, I very much enjoyed), but at the same time the sheer degree of absence of anyone else beyond the three major characters is notable, with only minimal lampshading to explain away. There are simply too many people in Twilight and Spike's lives for things to go so badly over so long while drawing so little attention.
Oh, and also, Twilight mentions stimulating Spike's prostate exactly once, and then (from what I can tell) the story never alludes to her doing that, despite it being a staple of femdom fics.
Oh, this is so damned good. The tension, the road to hell paved with good intentions. Just brilliant. :D
11748070
I also have to add small thing onto this spike did leave to go to the dragon Land, which I assume he has a plethora of dragons to talk to about the situation including dragon. Lord ember former dragon Lord torch and smolder. Even if he chose not to give any details, he's to the came back with something. At that point I'm pretty sure they would have been able to sense something was wrong.
Oh, man. Slippery slope and we all know what that slope's covered in. :D Great work!
11747863
Realistically a happy ending would have been all of her friends charging the castle to try to get rid of her corruption a battle. So great. It would probably destroy ponyville. That would have probably been the best outcome.
Good lord Twilight you've done fucked up.
Fascinating how the sample sizes keep getting bigger... :D
Very, very erotic and, no pun intended, hot. Then again all of this has been erotic and hot. :D
That was slowly perfusive corruptively brutal.
Wouldve been intresting if Discord had been asked if he could help and he had done one small capability ajustment because of all the chaos it would cause?
But that likely wouldve taken th story in a totally different direction, and thats not this story.
This is complex and unpredictable and sexy and vile. You've got a real talent with storytelling and planning. I think it's great. Each twist was unexpected and satisfying.
fuck, she's turning into a dragon. Brilliant!
Yay for a happy ending! :D
This is 'slippery slope' and 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions' all mixed into an erotic, sexy and corruptive mess and I am HERE for it! yeah, just brilliant. And considering she was doing it to help her bestest buddy, this is another time where her actions make sense. Bravo! :D
12/10 this fic is MINE and brilliant and if you don't agree I'll YEET my MP-05 Masterpiece Megatron at you. :p
11747766
Thanks for the comment! Yeah, the reveal near the end isn't done quite right, but if it makes you feel better she still hasn't nailed it down. Sorry that you lost your interest there. I figured it shouldn't be completely unresolved, though! I am doing a few other stories that are but about straight degeneracy though...
11747863
I have a pretty decent list of stories that involve story and erotica in some way. Might be worth checking out! I'm definitely adding a sequel to the list of possibilities for this. Even the author's note should hint at it. "The pages after the last entry are blank, but the ink is still wet. The journal seems to be over, but perhaps the experiment is not.". I'm just not sure how interesting it will be. For me the fall is more interesting than the bottom, but sometimes the climb up can be neat. Thanks for the comment!
11747926
Not exactly? lol. But I can see the similarities in a lot of ways. Wasn't explicitly shooting for it, but now that you mention it, it's better than my specific attempts at homage to lovecraft. oof. Thanks for the comment!
11747962
Excellent. Thank you for the comment!
11748070
Thanks for the critiques! I appreciate them!
I will say that the lack of other characters is a direct result of this story being an "in world" research journal where she attempted to stay mostly on topic, although I should have made her slip more at the end for sure. She only mentions her friends when they are relevant to the journal topic (mouse from Fluttershy, comments on Rarity) and includes Gabby because Gabby is the real "the problem" in the back of her mind. She also mentions how her relationships with other people are mostly fine, just for some reason Spike is different. (And later Gabby). It's because Gabby and Spike were added to her Hoard. She is capable of interacting with others mostly normally. The problem at the end is that she's getting worse, and it is gettting out of control by then. But that's at the end of this journal, and she hasn't addressed it just yet. Even if others may have noticed, but are being polite/afraid of the Princess.
That being said, it's a problem in a lot of my stories! I usually trim the characters down to just who is directly relevant to the plot, and it can become... obvious... in some cases. Thanks for pointing it out here!
As far as the dragon thing, I actually had a letter for Ember as one of the things, but I dropped it from the story. It made the situation complicated and not as interesting. The answer she would have gotten from Ember would be a minor spoiler : Ember has no idea what's happening to her. She has a very good idea about what's happening to Spike, though, even without Twilight explaining what she's exactly doing. Dragons strongly adapt to their environment, which is why Spike is humanoid in this world. She has no record of any dragons trying to mate with equestrians, but then again, dragons don't keep records.... She also would identify that dragon hierarchies are a real thing, and that Twilight would be a power player if she was a dragon. Strong enough to be a contender for Dragon Lord based on hoard size alone, and as a result, could subjugate lesser dragons. Especially if she was confiscating their hoards...
I totally forgot about Smolder and the rest of the Young 6. Oof. BRB in the sequel. Gonna add Smolder to the gang.
Celestia and Luna had content that was also cut, as they had major spoilers about Twilight's nature. Also, she's horrified that they'll find out what she's done to Spike, frankly, so she's keeping as much of this on down low as possible. So far, it's mostly working.
As for not seeking help, Spike is embarrassed as hell about everything that's happened to him and canon Spike is obsessed with being Macho. This Spike does not have the emotional capacity to approach anybody about this on any level. He's fucking his mom, and she's literally his mommy dommy. But I really should have included some comments about that from Twilight's understanding of his behavior. It feels a lot like a plot hole, so it probably is.
Prostrate stim was absolutely intended, but ended up being, uh, not included. I should have cut that little bit, or had her properly follow through. lol. Good call.
Thanks a bunch for the comment! It's interesting to me because I specifically thought about most of this, and cut a lot of this content to keep the story focused. Maybe I shouldn't have. Extended cut time? lol.
11748071
11748079
11748108
11748146
11748199
11748211
11748214
Thanks! Glad you liked it! lol. I appreciate the comments and your thoughts on the chapters. I laughed that you started with the road to hell reference as that was the inside cover (last chapter) point. I always love your strings of comments. Don't let the downvotes deter you! lol
11748082
11748166
Thanks for the comments! Yeah, I didn't want to take the story that way just yet. lol.
11748181
I love when you call my work vile. You get me. I also love when you (my favorite author on the site) post things on my stories. I wouldn't say each twist was completely unexpected and satisfying, but I wrote a lot of it, so my opinion is perhaps influenced.
Think I got everybody. Thanks for the comments!
Twilight's cum sauna.
So. Does he melt her later?
I'm sure some ponies with heat resistance casted onto them will love it.
What is Twilight doing with all those samples?
I forgot it was anthro and thought she was already transformed.
Try adding other species to the mix. Changelings have an insatiable hunger. Sounds fun to experience!
So, how many creatures in the end did she add to her hoard to experience mentally?
11748534
11748536
11748543
11748548
11748560
11748566
11748570
Thanks for all the comments! I appreciate them!
1. not a sauna I would go to. lol.
2. Yes
3. Heat resistance does nothing. It's a magical reaction that disassembles things, violently. It just acts like burns. Maybe some are into it, but they're kinky.
3a. Hoarding them.
4. I was as going for that thing where you trace over a word 100 times or more, and get some really thick, heavy, and messy writing. It still looks a little too zalgo.
5. Anthro story problems 101.
6. Yeahhh..... about that....
7. At the end of this story? Just 2. At the end of the experiment? That's another story.
Super dark and a decent into madness. I dig it. I wouldn’t a sequel unless it was something like from Spike or Gabby’s perspective. This one would be Twi going mad with power and control. Theirs would be about them breaking down and submitting. I saw some other comments about adding new characters and personally I feel like that would take away from it and just make it kind of silly smut ya know?
11748518
If you really think about it, I can understand. Spike not wanting to tell anyone what's going on but I think two people he would talk to about this no matter what because they would not judge him and it would be discord or Big Mac these two people are quite literally spikes friends and they're outside of twilights circle even though we can all say Twilight is friendly to them. Even outside of their dungeons and ugliant games, they have a connection in the same realm of Twilight in the girls. So even in this situation I think spike would tell one of them or both of them if it got too bad and if he suddenly stops hanging out with them, they would become curious enough to find out what's going on themselves.
11748634
Sequel working title: Twilight's Greed Journal (PRIVATE). Though you may be on to something. Dragons don't take notes, though, so Spike's perspective would be hard to capture. Ooh. Maybe a 4th character's investigation into something where they slowly discover the depths of what's happening and get sucked in somehow? Dunno which characters would take good enough notes to be interesting to read as a story. Hmm... Gotta think more about this.
Wait. No. Sunset? Trixie? Oh god. It could be Trixie's performance notes, and she could fuck everything up. This could become a comedy as she narrowly avoids things and makes everybody else's life a living hell. Actually, that could be a pretty good story. End of the world thing going on, and Trixie is just trying to do something simple and keeps fucking up the big bad's plans. Trixie is entirely unaware, and ends up saving the day when she finally manages to successfully perform her once in a life time coffee cup bonanza! (No freebies!). But that's probably an entire different story. lol.
Thanks for the comment! I'll think about it.
That's kinda fucked up yo.
*favorites*
11748673
You get me.
What a creepy fucked up tale. I think I like it. I admit, I wouldn't mind getting a more traditional first or third person chapter showing us how exactly she plays with Spike and Gabby together.
11748595
derpicdn.net/img/view/2018/4/1/1696549.gif
11748643
11748644
I mean…it doesn’t HAVE to be a journal format. Although I’m not gonna lie that delivery format was amazing. It’s not what I was expecting when i just saw this story and gave it a read. I was just expecting silly smut but there’s a real story here. Even though it’s obviously sexual in nature it doesn’t read like your regular fap and scrap quick smut. Like I said personally I think more characters would take away from it. But it’s your story and you obviously have a good idea and know where you want to take it. Im sure the next installment will be just as good
11748518 To be absolutely clear, the issue of "where was everyone else? How come they didn't notice what was happening and intervene?" really isn't an issue at all in terms of narrative cohesion. This story is exceptionally well-crafted in that it has very clear goals and achieves them artfully. In that regard, adding more characters likely would have done little except dilute it (thought that's not necessarily a given).
It's just that, due to the story being set in a preexisting world with a large number of characters who have close relationships with this story's cast, it can't really be helped that there's also an angle of contextuality that's largely orthogonal to issues of narrative cohesion. That's not the story's fault, but it is its problem, in other words. That said, I'm not sure that it's necessarily something that needs correcting; what you've written is still truly excellent, and in a very real way doesn't need to justify itself in terms of how it fits into the larger world of the show (which would be hard to do without breaking the tone you've set here, I suspect).
If you make a sequel, are you taking suggestions for who joins and how Twilight breaks them in?
11749148
Probably not explicitly, but I do look at comments to see what people are thinking. Thanks for the comment!
11748713
Hmmm... I don't think I have anything to add to this book, though that would be interesting. I'll probably save it for on one of my future stories. Thanks for the comment!
11748735
I mean, my goal is to make it exist. We'll see how long that takes.
11748886
I think it's a valid point all around. I'll try to be at least as conscious of that as I was here in future stories! Thanks for the input!
Feel almost as guilty reading this as she felt writing it.
Yowza, what a gripping ascent into madness.
(Her notes on the inside back cover of the journal sound like me cooking.)
11749538
You should. It says PRIVATE. How dare you invade her privacy? You're a monster.
11749581
Thanks! I'm glad it grabbed you enough to read through the guilt. I can't comment on your cooking, but I definitely have a scratch pad page on some of my journal type books, and that's sort of what I was going for with that inside cover. I could see something like that on a personal recipe book. lol. I appreciate the comments, and any insight you have as for how it could be better! More guilt inducing? More saucy? Less sauce? More explicit semen? lol. I just realized that I missed out on a semen testing entry in the very beginning where she goes over the consistency of it, the smell, the viscosity, the density, the flow rate, reactions with various chemicals, etc. to make a semen quality scale so that she can judge the quality of Spike's ejaculations with an empirical numeric scale (1-10 Semen Quality Quotient--SQQ). Then I could have had the SQQ listed after her extraction entries when she managed to actually test the stuff as an indication of if she was doing any actual research on a given day. Darnit!