• Member Since 28th Dec, 2014
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Wintermist


Writer of long, character-driven smut of astounding filthiness, lesbian mind-control a speciality. Short-Fic Commission Slots Now Closed

Sequels1

Comments ( 1872 )

I really like this. The build-up and pacing is great, and you pay good attention to the little details, which really make the story. Twilight as an accidental dominatrix is adorable. :)

The mindcontrol gener needs more storys like that.

5437008 I'm very pleased that you've enjoyed it so far! Next time: a new subject!

Mmm, delicious! Two things I'd like to note here:

One, it would be wonderful if Twilight went into Applejack's fantasy a little more as well. Like, find some stallion to abuse her exactly like she craves for a day or so. That would align very well with Twilight's idea of doing this for AJ's sake as well. And, from a certain standpoint, she's in the very best position to do this, since she can always make both her victims forget about what happened. Heck, she could organise a bondage gangbang for Applejack if she put enough effort into it and nopony would remember afterwards, except if she wills them to.

Two, and this might be a sign of Twilight's control not being so tight more than anything else, she told Applejack to keep her hands on her ass until she tells her otherwise. But Applejack did move them later on without having been given permission. Maybe "Pleasure my breasts now" was vague enough to circumvent Twilight's orders, in which case she needs to be very careful how she words her commands in the future.

5437531 You're absolutely right, the vagueness of the wording caused AJ to move according to what she thought Twilight's intent was, and she was right - this time. Unclear instructions are going to cause more trouble ahead!

Hm. This should get interesting.

Author's Note:

Oh, Twilight. You have a good heart. But more pertinently, you've got a taste for this now.

Like a fetish?

5437952 I think of her as having a latent kink for this sort of thing, something she'd never really conceived of before due to her absolute inexperience with the ideas involved. Now though, they're rapidly becoming a fetish she can't ignore.

Hmm....
Perhaps, if the story continues, Twilight could use the same spell on the rest of the Mane 6. Possible orgy.
Would definitely read if that was added.

Clear instructions needed.

Good story. No grammar or spelling issues seen, but some parts could be changed, and more description of characters. 4.5/5

I'm very much enjoying this story so far, you do a great job with pushing Twilight down that slippery slope and making it believable/fit in with her personality. I hope to see this continued with many sexy shenanigans! :twilightsmile:

Hot damn, that was good.
Both the mind control and clop is wonderful, I love everything that's happened so far. This is exactly the sort of MC I'm really into, the altered perception and all that. Making people think things they didn't before, instead of simply making them do what they're told.

I look forward to seeing where this goes. Especially since you've spent time with Twilight's inner moral dilemna. Mind Control is often all the sweeter when the controller develops over time, pushes the limit, struggles with themselves over what they're doing.


5437520
Place your bets here, folks! My money is on Rarity. She's already been concerned about Twilight's recent activities, I bet she'll be the one to show up looking to help, and get zapped for it.

EDIT: one more thing I forgot to mention before. A big part of what I love that this story is doing is Twilight's extensive 'experimentation'. The way she keeps testing out the different capabilities of this charm, putting Applejack through many mindsets and triggers to see what happens. The variety here is great. I hope Twilight continues to do this as the story unfolds.

Liked and tracking, I'm definitly interested in seeing this story continue.

Also... what is Spike doing, actually? A dragon vision quest? That's... the first time I hear of such a thing. :derpyderp2:

5438704 Spike is proving himself! Being the best dragon he can be! Somewhere safely out of the way of the plot. I'm sure Rarity will be very impressed when he comes back, exactly as he's hoping.

I get the feeling this is why Trevor keeps waking up half dead, on the edge of a railing in his Y-fronts:rainbowlaugh:

tracking for the comedic aspect

5437965 I point you to the "What I learned today" video, specifically the lesson for Lesson Zero: "Why does Twilight know a mind-rape spell anyways?"
Around 1:33

By Velestias beard this story is amazing obviosly i'm tracking this one. :pinkiehappy::rainbowkiss:

You know, it's possible that if Twilight resored Applejack's personality to normal but left her memories intact that Applejack might forgive her. She might even ask her to do it again. I don't think we can rule out the possibility that AJ has some attraction to Twilight. Yes, Twilight made AJJ think she was the most important person in her life, but she didn't command AJ to find her beautiful, just saying.

Oooooh dearie me.

You know, Twi... it *is* entirely possible that this *actually* is something Rarity would consider perfectly normal... if consented to.

Though suggesting your other friends for this does indicate that you've unlocked a monster. Just imagine what could happen if you taught *her* the charm!

Why, all of Canterlot could be your indirect little servants.

If not all of Equestria itself....

Well, while it would be interesting to see other ponies under Twilight's control, I really hope this story will continue to focus mostly on her relationship with Applejack! :rainbowwild:

Really, this story is getting better and better with every chapter. I can't wait to read about AJ wearing that outfit Rarity made for her. Sounds like a very hot idea. And Twilight's reactions and thoughts are just perfect.

Rarity thinks mind controlling someone you like is normal? Makes you worry that she'll get up to no good herself; she's already had multiple problems with corrupting magic...

I knew Twilight's wording was wrong the moment I read it. Absolutely loving this. :)

And we have an enabler! Wonderful!

5450043
No, she thinks Twilight mind controlling anyone she likes is normal. Anyone else, and she'd probably react the same way she originally acted when she found out what Twilight was doing with Applejack.

Remember, it isn't the computer's fault if you screw up the input and you really screwed up the input here Twi.

Oh man, if Twilight ever comes out the other side of this, she is going to hate herself.

5450520
Arzoo does have a point. Like you noted, Rarity's already spun "it's okay for Twilight to magically enslave Applejack" into "it's okay for Twilight to magically enslave whoever she likes". Worse(?), she's even hinted that she wouldn't mind being enslaved by Twilight herself. It's entirely possible for her to decide that enslaving each other is the best way to establish a relationship in general. With how generous she is, she might show up one day with a list of best possible slaves for Twilight.

Or heck, if Rarity's convinced royalty has a right to enslave ponies they're attracted to, she could show up at Blueblood's doorstep and ask to be put under. Remember, her problem with Blue was that he treated her like a slave—if she doesn't consider that a problem anymore, there's not really anything still in the way of a relationship, right?

5452645
Hmm... This is true. Twilight just told her "What you saw is normal." There's no telling what all about that she thinks is normal.
Though she did call Twilight "a very special person," gives the impression that she thinks only Twilight is allowed to do that.

Oh well, I suppose we'll see what comes of this in due time.:raritywink:

5452769
It's true, she did say that. She didn't specify what it is that makes her special, though. Could be that indeed she only meant Twilight as a person.
On the other hand, this is the same mare who did this:

Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised at all if a little nudge to her brain is enough to make her think being enslaved by royalty is simply right—the kind of nudge Twilight just gave her...

Awwww yeah, Rarity chapter!
I love this wonderful little avalanche of conflict Twilight is getting herself into. The slow, steady escalation, the ever-more-tangled web of commands and charms that are building up into a truly intense chaotic mess.
Twilight is gonna have to start laying on some serious Lawyer-Speak right now, or things are about to spin completely out of her control. Why, she'll have to mind control just about everyone to keep things under wraps! Her friends, the Princesses.... I can't wait.

I also really love the stuff about Rarity and Applejack perceiving things as normal when they clearly aren't. The bit about Applejack carrying a normal conversation while Twilight goes full lewd on her, and then Rarity's nonchalant "it's normal for you to be enslaving people, why would that be weird?" bit. Awesome moments.

5452645

Or heck, if Rarity's convinced royalty has a right to enslave ponies they're attracted to, she could show up at Blueblood's doorstep and ask to be put under. Remember, her problem with Blue was that he treated her like a slave—if she doesn't consider that a problem anymore, there's not really anything still in the way of a relationship, right?

i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/559/008/0cd.jpg

Now you've really done it, Twi.
Y'all done fucked it up real good!

EDIT: Actually, I just re-read the scene, and I think Rarity should be fine.
The exact quote was: "Everything is perfectly normal between Applejack and I, so you don't need to tell anyone about it."
So, Rarity should still react and think normally about any other person. She probably is justifying it in her mind as Twilight being a "special person", and therefore exempt from normal rules of conduct.

5452894
Gosh, I can't believe you just reminded me of that freaking scene.
Now I kinda hope that some Rarity hoof-worship finds its way into FIMC...
If I could choose a prize, I'd want it to be that.^
:pinkiecrazy:

5453445
Well, yeah. That's entirely possible.
However, Rarity is also the one of Twilight's friends who would be first to jump at the idea of Twilight Sparkle the princess having special rights due to her status. She does note that repeatedly, such as during Twilight's Kingdom. And she doesn't need to tell anypony that Applejack is Twilight's enthralled loveslave, she just has to mention something like "Royalty is about taking command, is it not? I know your kind enslaves those he or she cares for, therefore, my prince, take what is yours!".

Who know..? It would be an intersting twist^^

5454016 As Twilight's still in her treehouse, we're not up to date with the end of Season 4. She's in fact pre-Princess at this point, and doesn't yet have her wings. Not royalty yet!

5453445
One problem with hoof worship is the heavily anthro nature of these ponies - they have feet! There's a couple of images that inspired me to start this story, and each one will show up as an event in the story. I'm looking forward to it!

I suspect the charm tends to caster as well, but that is still a unknown.
I also suspect the charm tends to lean towards very, loving direction... wink wink nudge nudge say no more say no more! (i had to do that) :yay:

Gentle breeze guide you path a warm smile welcome you back. :twilightsmile:

5454325
Ah, so she is! Going over the chapters again, even the word 'Unicorn' appears to have been used exactly one time, which is probably why my mind shifted gears to Alicorn Twilight.
Not that you should change the way you write, mind you! Lavender Unicorn Syndrome is a serious disease, after all. It's only a good thing you haven't caught it.

I shall try this spell now... Luna?
Luna: yes?
(Casts spell)
Luna: (eyes glaze)
You will present your plot to the next being you see that isn't me
Luna: I will present my plot to the next being I see that isn't you.
When I say Charlie, you will slumber
Luna: when you say Charlie I will slumber
Charlie, how do you feel?
Luna: fine, why?
Here comes derpy
Luna: (presents plot) ... Does my plot look bigger than when we met? I am thinking about trying to remove a pinch of fat and collagen for cosmetic reasons... And I find my butt-fat and the like a good fire starter... Well?
Derpy: (stuck) wooks fihne to meef
Ponies, so fun to play with

This... This is really fucking good.

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But seriously, I am enjoying this story a lot, and can't wait for more updates!

I forget if you mentioned when this fic takes place but I'd love to see you do your own spin on a canon episode, after all why solve things through friendship when mind control can do it better?
Edit: Oh I saw your comment about this being before Princess Twilight, which is great because there is plenty of room for how you want things to go.

Hahahaha holy shit everything's going to Pony Hell I love it.

I'm interested to see when, or if, this all crashes down on Twilight.

5454329
Indeed! I hadn't thought about that!
Well, foot worship is just as well, I'd just love to see Rarity bowing down no matter the anatomical details!

Ooh, visual inspiration? Awesome!
Just a guess, but is the uncropped version of your avatar one of them?
:trollestia:

5459850
Well, after all, what is more harmonious than perfect obedience?
:scootangel:

5474814 Ding! We have a winner. It was the original inspiration for this whole tangle.

There are no brakes on the Twislavement train.
No Brakes! No Brakes!

This is like watching a trainweck. Just to be clear: I mean the effect, not the writing.

No, not a trainwreck. That's like, bam! and then it's over. This is more like watching a bulldozer coming at you through a very narrow street. Slowly.

One of my favourite aspects of the story so far is the level to which these artificially induced states feel natural! You can see it with Rarity. Leave gaps in her conditioning and her mind will fill them somehow. It's something evolving, actions and commands have consequences and ponies have lives outside Twilight's happy place. They feel alive and growing, and the mind effects grow with them. Twilight testing the boundaries of the spell also feels quite fitting!

I wonder how Spike would react if he knew what Twilight's about to do. Well, he's not around and won't be for some time. Humm, I pretty much expect Twilight to try to find out her other friends' sexual orientations as well. Maybe even before deciding to make them her permanent slaves. I mean, she's already not really caring with either Applejack or Rarity—who are both straight—so I could see that being an important factor pushing her into it. Frustration and exasperation at how her friends aren't attracted to her as she is to them, like it happened with Applejack.
Oh, that's another point right there! Twilight might want to find out if Applejack now considers herself straight, bi, gay, or simply Twilight-sexual. Let's not forget, Applejack and Rarity actually like the D. Whether or not that changed will be an indicator for how deep her control truly is. Plus, well, I'd personally still like to see Twilight host a party where little Applejack can have studs use her like in her fantasies as a gift^^

The hill is at its peal its time to slide down into debauchery! :pinkiecrazy:

I'm looking forward to Rarity's reaction to being 'chosen' I guess, but I'm mainly looking forward to the inevitable discovery by her other friends. Not because I want them enchanted but because I want to see how this will get undone, as I'm sure it will.

This is going to,get kinky... And it's like watching a snowball roll down a hill... I wonder what it'll hit

i would like her to try the spell on someeone totaly unwilling, hoping it would fail

As it is I wonder if Twilight could just tell Rarity to be her slave without actually using the spell, she seems perfectly accepting of Twilights need for control so if Twilight just asked I feel like Rarity would just accept it.

5476024 isn't that what just happend to Rarity in the last chapter?
after all she realized that Applejack was under the spell and by the glow of Twilight she might guessed that it was the spell that she used the spell in Applejack.

I must say I really like how Rarity behaves in this. Though she is in an altered state, due to her instructions and her mind's own reasoning, it feels natural, and that feeling of it being natural is what makes it so contrasting since the readers know of the alteration. Her conversations with Twi and her friends really show an interesting case, she is herself yet subtly different because of how she views what's going on with Twi.

It also seems that Twi is really digging her own grave here. First her curiosity get's to her, then Rarity's encouragement, now Applejack is pushing her further in. Let's just hope she stops herself from jumping off the slippery slope down past the moral event horizon.

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