• Member Since 28th Dec, 2014
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

Wintermist


Writer of long, character-driven smut of astounding filthiness, lesbian mind-control a speciality. Short-Fic Commission Slots Now Closed

Comments ( 24 )

You mention alot of penis based tags in the description, yet I see no futa tag.....

10021537
Strap-ons are magic.

10021538
But that isnt mention either. Nor dildos. I'm just saying they probably missed a tag, being futa or dildo.

10021537 10021538 10021543
You make a fair point. I hadn't thought of those as things that required warning tags, but based on the conversation you're having, the lack of them was confusing. I've added them now.

Wait, wait, wait....
Two Wintermist fictions within a month?

WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!!

10021712 You'd be amazed at how much more productive I've been while I... y'know, haven't had to work all day. Back to work today, alas. Boo! But still intent on doing more, as the blog post that just went out lays out.

10021719
Yeah it's good. But I've been looking for a reason to use the "what sorcery is this" phrase for a few days since I saw The Heavy Flamer Heresy came out, and this seemed to be as good of one as any.

i get its a commission, but chryssy seems kinda stupid in this fic

10021738 Well, for a version of this where the subject isn't lying in wait because she can read her enemy's dreams, you might enjoy Celestia Kneels Before Her Queen and its sequel, Twisting Twilight :twilightsmile:

I love all your work of course, but this felt a bit rushed. Like you had a limited length to work with and a lot of ambitious plot to pack in. You’re very competent at the smut but where you really shine is in character and motivation, and that felt lacking here.

Chrissy seeks power and security for her hive and herself, but it’s never clear how she feels about NMM as a person. Perhaps she has an insectile inability to feel anything about any other person, but her mammalian lust is kindled easily enough. Bugs are always very businesslike about that. NMM must react to this surprise attack, but later when she’s victorious her motivations are also ambiguous. She cares enough about her new Chrissy to make her a perfect sexpet instead of a (far more practical) perfect prisoner. Does she take that sort of time with every creature that opposes her?!

The mention of Celestia is interesting, I'd like to see that dynamic. I'll admit though, I'm not a Bimbofication man. But as always, the world building through dialogue is excellent.

Dark is good. Dark is best. All things in moderation though.

Your Nightmare Moon is an interesting take, one I'd love to see explored more in future stories perhaps.

And a welcome return to body modification! Nice to see it come up in stories every now and then.

10021738
So true to the show? :trollestia:

I normally prefer Chrysalis winning but this is an exception

I like the story though I think you should pick another title and panel. They make it obvious who is going to come out on top.

Rereading this while logged in, so I decided too comment.
Luna is great! Fun fic. In case you don’t hear it enough winter, I love your writing.

is it wrong when you feel satisfied that a bad mare wins over another bad mare, because if you ask me I'd take Nightmare Moon's rule over that of Chrysalis's

This is your official review from Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
Remember to vote in the contest's poll -- voting closes at midnight, June 6th.
And make sure to allow notifications from the contest group and/or follow Dirty Little Secret to get the full results and the awards show post on June 9th!

------ Review ------

Please keep in mind, I know I can be overly critical and negative at times. I can always find something to nitpick, even in the greatest works of literature ever written. Please don't take it personally!
-Great idea to have these two try to control each other.
-Interesting to see the bimbofication fetish along with your more usual mind control/domination.
-Your nightmare moon was a wonder to behold.
-I do wish we could have seen the end with Rainbow dash and perhaps some others.
-Cutting out before the final orgasm was kind of a cheat -- I wish she could have orgasmed fully and felt Nightmare cum inside her before passing out. That hurts the cloppability score a bit.
-It is kind of odd that of all the things Nightmare could do with Chrysalis, she'd choose this ... but that's definitely an acceptible level of porn logic.
-a bed like a quilted continent -- this phrase alone is worth bumping the Prose Quality score up a little bit. Great figurative language and the rhythm combined with consonance makes it poetically pleasing to say.

------ Scores ------

To clarify what these scores mean, check my judging rubric.
Cloppability: 85/100
Allure: 89/100
Enticement: 94/100
Immersion: 96/100
Prose Quality: 97/100
Total Score: 461/500
The more specialized scores for individual prizes, as well as the results of the community poll, will be published when the full results are announced. If this story wins any awards, there will be another post in the story comments sometime after June 9th announcing that this story has won.

Thank you for participating, and thank you for contributing to Fimfic's collection of clop!

10246186

-a bed like a quilted continent

Niiiiiiice! :coolphoto:

Congratulations on winning Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
For the full results, check the Dirty Little Award Show.

This story won:

The Grammar Dominatrix
You've whipped every subject-verb pair into agreement, you’ve strapped your word choice to the bed with chains of good syntax, and you've crushed every typo under your high heels. You leave grammar and style mistakes crying and whimpering for more. Your clopfic was the best written one from a technical standpoint, with the highest quality prose.

Goddammit, Nightmare Moon. You have horrible taste in body types.

Oh well. The mind control stuff is still hot.

nice work

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