• Member Since 15th Mar, 2016
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Remember. We're the good guys | The Death Writer | Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/lewdchapter

Comments ( 23 )

Welp, the ponies are totally f****** screwed, literally!

They SHOULD have listened to Twilight. :facehoof:

"As you wish, my Queen!" Chrysalis fell back onto her flank and, bizarrely, slipped a hoof between her hind legs.

Change Chrysalis to Cadance. Also, her name is spelled Cadance, which is different from the musical term cadence.

Ah, I always fuck up on names that are similar

You're wrong about the Cadence thing though. Both spellings are valid, and the reason I go for Cadence (besides habit) is that it's a shortening of her full name, which is Mi Amore Cadenza. Not Cadanza. Therefore Cadence is more logical of a spelling

Cover is 2678717 on Derpibooru

Hmm, it's actually a different pic?

Need sequeeel~

Just waiting for the check to clear

Its gonna be story with Celestia?

Is words English with grammar?

Sorry dont understand what you mean. English not my native language

I was just having a bit of fun with you. I don't completely understand your question.

If you're asking whether Celestia will make an appearance.... Probably.

Yes thats what I mean

Damn, that was good. :D

Thank you for your kind words

great story it would be interesting to see each of the other elements of harmony get transformed

You might wanna follow me and the story, then. More is likely to come

Well, that was... kinda gross. But I was curious, so I read it, and I suppose we all must reap what we sow. Now time for the review!

I found the story was fairly well written, with only a few noticeable errors (like: "Once I’m done with your sister-in-law, I’ll be sure yo give you a reward for your continued obedience."). I probably missed some less obvious examples because I was kind of just trying to get through it... Hehehe. I don't think there's much of interest to say about the story content: it's minimal, it serves its purpose, and we can all see the [Porn] tag up there!

The story did, unsurprisingly, fulfill its purpose as a clopfic. I am a child of the internet, and a horny little rascal besides, so I've read and seen enough weird shit that the oviposition and transformation stuff didn't faze me much. However, the consumption of vaginal discharge really caught me off guard, and was by far the grossest part of the story to my eyes. I'd honestly recommend putting something to that effect in the warnings list, for all the good that'll do - I don't know if I would have read the story if that exact warning was in the description, but, if I did, I would have had a better idea of what I was getting myself into.

Overall, not bad, not great, and not exactly my cup of tea, but I'm sure you've made some rich, anonymous weirdo very happy. Thank you for your service!

PS: I almost wrote a big ass paragraph about the transformation element, and my ideas for it. I figured I shouldn't post that in public, for sanity's sake, but... DM if interested 😉

Cool, unsolicited reviews from a guy who went into the story with his mind made up about not liking the story before even reading it! My favorite!

I'm being kind of shitty, even though your review was fair and mostly constructive. Can't say I disagree with anything you said, I just don't know why one would seek to extensively review something like this that you knew wasn't to your taste from second 1.

For the record, I try to review every story I read, and I keep it in mind not to judge a story too much before I read it - and I didn't even dislike this one! I thought it was fine! Sorry if that came across as unfair.

If you'd like me to delete my comment, I'll do that.

Nah you're good. I was in a bad mood, I took your comment perhaps a little more negatively than I should have (it was the gross comment that really got me, but you're 100% right to say that)

Basically, you're all okay. It's been a rough few days.

Going to do the other Elements of Harmony? I'd love to see Fluttershy willingly ask Chrysalis for this.

How about another alternate?

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