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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I really like this. The build-up and pacing is great, and you pay good attention to the little details, which really make the story. Twilight as an accidental dominatrix is adorable. :)
The mindcontrol gener needs more storys like that.
5437008 I'm very pleased that you've enjoyed it so far! Next time: a new subject!
Mmm, delicious! Two things I'd like to note here:
One, it would be wonderful if Twilight went into Applejack's fantasy a little more as well. Like, find some stallion to abuse her exactly like she craves for a day or so. That would align very well with Twilight's idea of doing this for AJ's sake as well. And, from a certain standpoint, she's in the very best position to do this, since she can always make both her victims forget about what happened. Heck, she could organise a bondage gangbang for Applejack if she put enough effort into it and nopony would remember afterwards, except if she wills them to.
Two, and this might be a sign of Twilight's control not being so tight more than anything else, she told Applejack to keep her hands on her ass until she tells her otherwise. But Applejack did move them later on without having been given permission. Maybe "Pleasure my breasts now" was vague enough to circumvent Twilight's orders, in which case she needs to be very careful how she words her commands in the future.
5437531 You're absolutely right, the vagueness of the wording caused AJ to move according to what she thought Twilight's intent was, and she was right - this time. Unclear instructions are going to cause more trouble ahead!
5437952 I think of her as having a latent kink for this sort of thing, something she'd never really conceived of before due to her absolute inexperience with the ideas involved. Now though, they're rapidly becoming a fetish she can't ignore.
Hmm....
Perhaps, if the story continues, Twilight could use the same spell on the rest of the Mane 6. Possible orgy.
Would definitely read if that was added.
Clear instructions needed.
Good story. No grammar or spelling issues seen, but some parts could be changed, and more description of characters. 4.5/5
I'm very much enjoying this story so far, you do a great job with pushing Twilight down that slippery slope and making it believable/fit in with her personality. I hope to see this continued with many sexy shenanigans!
Hot damn, that was good.
Both the mind control and clop is wonderful, I love everything that's happened so far. This is exactly the sort of MC I'm really into, the altered perception and all that. Making people think things they didn't before, instead of simply making them do what they're told.
I look forward to seeing where this goes. Especially since you've spent time with Twilight's inner moral dilemna. Mind Control is often all the sweeter when the controller develops over time, pushes the limit, struggles with themselves over what they're doing.
5437520
Place your bets here, folks! My money is on Rarity. She's already been concerned about Twilight's recent activities, I bet she'll be the one to show up looking to help, and get zapped for it.
EDIT: one more thing I forgot to mention before. A big part of what I love that this story is doing is Twilight's extensive 'experimentation'. The way she keeps testing out the different capabilities of this charm, putting Applejack through many mindsets and triggers to see what happens. The variety here is great. I hope Twilight continues to do this as the story unfolds.
Liked and tracking, I'm definitly interested in seeing this story continue.
Also... what is Spike doing, actually? A dragon vision quest? That's... the first time I hear of such a thing.
5438704 Spike is proving himself! Being the best dragon he can be! Somewhere safely out of the way of the plot. I'm sure Rarity will be very impressed when he comes back, exactly as he's hoping.
5437965 I point you to the "What I learned today" video, specifically the lesson for Lesson Zero: "Why does Twilight know a mind-rape spell anyways?"
Around 1:33
By Velestias beard this story is amazing obviosly i'm tracking this one.
You know, it's possible that if Twilight resored Applejack's personality to normal but left her memories intact that Applejack might forgive her. She might even ask her to do it again. I don't think we can rule out the possibility that AJ has some attraction to Twilight. Yes, Twilight made AJJ think she was the most important person in her life, but she didn't command AJ to find her beautiful, just saying.
I have to say, while I've seen a lot of mind control, this is the best I've seen.
One thing I've always hated in most mind warping I've seen is that it's used as an excuse for OOC behavior, and the character in question ceases to be themselves. This way, however, keeps them mostly themselves, while at the same time allowing some freedom from normal behavior.
And there's the simplest way for Twilight to put in a good safety measure. When AJ's awakened...
Twilight: Applejack, this order is to supersede all others, no matter what I say. If, according to who you were before I cast the spell on you, I am going too far or something more important has to be addressed, you are to tell me so and ignore all orders related to the focusing charm's effects until the issue has been addressed.
If she implants that into anypony she puts the charm on, she's safe. She'll still have AJ - and whoever else - under the spell, and have them keeping her in check.
...if this goes on until Spike gets back and Twilight ends up confiding the mess she's made to him, I'd find it hilarious if he suggested that as a solution.
And while the story's only tagged Twilight/AJ/Rarity, any chance of anyone else getting involved?
5439764
"Scratch that! Buy our toys!" XD
This story is hysterical
Wow. That's mostly what I thought on this chapter. It's cute how Twilight is acting like she's discovered her first crush. And then, BAM! She gets Applejack alone for five minutes and it goes straight into having sex. At this point I was thinking, "Twilight, you got a problem."
I need to get some sleep but this story is just so gripping! I can't stop myself from just reading one more chapter.
i came here expecting porn and i got emotions instead
goddammit
7962079
Ya got both.
Well, at least they snuggled afterwards.
5617329
Re-reading, and paying attention to all the comments this time, and I found this:
Just a simple safe word, just a simple stoplight system.
We learn as we get older and play more, and learn from people that have been through things before. Too bad there's no one that has ever used a spell like this before to teach her, right? :-).
(Ahem. Where did all the mind control in this universe come from? When foals get a Hearts-and-Hooves day book with instructions on how to make a lust potion; when Starlight can rattle off the names of half-a-dozen types of mind control; when even Sunburst knows a bunch, and heck, who can forget want-it-need-it? This is a universe full of mind control, this is like the primordial spell that everything else came from. Found in the castle of the two sisters. Thousand year old book needing restoration/preservation spells. Twilight, did you ignore the obvious "who to ask for information" for the entire story?)