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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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So this story involves Twilight Sparkle raping her friend via mind control. She is brainwashing them into being her sex slaves and there's nothing they can do about it and she's so far gone in the head that she apparently doesn't realize that she has pretty much become the worst monster in Equestrian history... Why does this story have a Romance tag, again? And why does it not have a Dark or Tragedy tag?
It certainly isn't a Romance (unless you consider date-rape and enslavement to be romantic, which you really really shouldn't), it is certainly Dark as hell, and there's no way this can't end in Tragedy. The best possible ending at this point is probably Twilight having an epiphany at what a monster she has become and killing herself in justified horror and self-loathing, and that's still pretty tragic.
So can you please adjust the tags so that they fit the story and so that I don't keep seeing this in my search results when I am deliberately trying to filter out stuff like this?
5750152 Added Dark tag as requested.
5750191
Woah. I did not really expect a response like that, or so quickly. As you can tell I was not the calmest when I wrote my original comment and I worried after I posted it that it might spark an argument. I am glad to see my worries were unfounded.
Thank you, I really appreciate it.
5749991 glad you enjoied!
5749991 I'm glad you enjoyed our debate and i really hope for this story to have a good ending.
(in the less tragic way possible, good or bad)
Heh, Applejack almost talks her down. If she wasn't already attracted to Twilight she probably would have... Or just panicked Twilight into crossing the line into no longer worrying about consent.
I suspect any "checks" to make sure ponies are willing will be as coercive as her sell to Rainbow Dash.
I have little trust in Applejack's decision here, with all those pleasant feelings being thrown on her as well as being pressured then and there so not exactly the most level-headed at that moment. If Twi wanted Applejack to really think about her choice she'd probably want to give her a day or more to do so, but Twilight didn't and she got the answer she wanted so she's happy which is really all that matters .
I'd be very interested in how this scene would play out differently if Applejack said no, Twilight seemed pretty decided that AJ would be hers no matter what and so I'm unsure if this was ever a real decision to begin with. Applejack is Twilight's now and I doubt she's going to let her go.
Twilight did manage to take a step back from the edge by allowing Applejack to decide against following her commands, and she has gotten pretty darn good at wording those commands. Twilight then took another half-step towards that edge by not being entirely forward about all of her commands there at the end, she certainly doesn't seem to have any doubts that she'll be adding more ponies to her harem and I wonder who she'll choose.
As always an awesome chapter and thanks for keeping this story going!
P.S. A fun idea for a future chapter might be Twilight using the spell to make herself invisible to two or more ponies and seeing just what sort of entertaining situations she could get them into.
For some reason or another, anthro fics have a strong tendency for me to give them a pass, as I typically can't get immersed in the storyline because of it. I don't fully understand why that is, but on some level it bothers me just enough to be distracting from the narrative.
...this fic, however, is one of the very few exceptions to this I've come across. I've been following this story for a good while, and I'm enjoying the crap out of it — keep up the amazing work, and I can't wait for more!
I'm also curious if Twi's going to 'focus' someone whose personality and perceptions are left completely unchanged, but are powerless to do anything about it. "How would this be possible", you say? Well, I'm glad I implied you asked!
For a bit of backstory, I used to play in an evil campaign of D&D where I was a Mindbender - a spellcaster prestige class that gets special bonuses pertaining to mind control and behavior-influencing spells and abilities. The last level of the prestige class's path gives you a permanent thrall as a servant. I decided to employ the "mind controlled, but fully aware" mentality for that servant, because it would be more fun to RP a very begrudgingly obedient individual than a befuddled brutish character. Naturally, the lady Elf Ranger I enslaved hated my guts as a result, but she couldn't do anything about her predicament. I explained this unique mental state by my character having devised a set of guidelines, which are well-known outside of the D&D universe, but here were used in a different context...
...Isaac Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics.
Here's how these lovely rules work in the case of a mind-controlled servant, as opposed to their original intent for an artificial intelligence:
1) A robot slave may not injure a human being their master or, through inaction, allow harm to befall a human being their master.
With a slave's personality and perceptions left completely intact, obviously they're going to hate their slaver's guts with every fiber of their being. The First Law ensures that they cannot directly nor indirectly attack or harm their controller.
2) A robot slave must obey the orders given to it by human beings their master, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
This might seem superfluous at first, but this law is necessary to ensure that even while lucid, the slave is compelled to obey commands issued by their master, regardless of their poor regard for him/her. Secondly, if their controller is somehow influenced in behavior, the conflicting clause acts as a safeguard to prevent him/her from ordering their slave to attack them — the slave will be unable to. In addition, if their master issues a command for the slave to follow orders from another, the secondary controlling person similarly cannot issue an order to attack their true master.
3) A robot slave must protect its own existence, so long as such self-preservation does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
The Third Law does a number of things: the slave will willingly sacrifice themselves to protect their master in dire circumstances, will also do so in the event of being ordered to sacrifice themselves, and will not resist their master if he/she decides to inflict physical punishment to their thrall. Lastly, by being forced to preserve their existence, the Third Law eliminates suicide and self-harm as avenues of escape from the slaver's control.
Whether or not you decide to do something on this level of grimdark is up to you — it's a pretty sadistic thing to (theoretically) do to another thinking individual. It's still a pretty thought-provoking concept, though! Do with this information what you will! I certainly had a lot of fun in the D&D campaign with this.
5752913 They're an interesting set of guidelines, though open to abuse in many ways that Asimov found out - deliberately indulging paranoid fantasies of harm to prevent their Owner leaving the house, for instance, or restraining them in case they were about to do something 'dangerous'.
Currently, Twilight is unlikely to enslave someone in a way that results in them being unhappy. It's their manufactured delight with the situation that keeps reassuring her that she's not really doing anything wrong.
5752929 I suppose that's fair.
It is good to see Twilight being smart here in updating her previous commands. If I can take anything out of this, it is in ways to better utilize mind control in games and story telling. I am still impressed with Twilight's ability to set her commands with logic and not being lazy or short-sighted with them. I especially liked the outlines of her contingent orders. That Twilight is still concerned for the happiness (and not just pleasure) of her slaves and that she knows that this habit is becoming a problem shows she hasn't become a monster yet.
It is a bit of a shame that AJ didn't shut down Twilight's behavior when she could, but it seems AJ is being set up to be the angel on Twilight's shoulder, to Rarity's devil. Or at least, provide some stability to keep Twilight from falling too fast. I still want to see Twilight dressed up in black robes like Palpatine.
Twilight's becoming a twisted villainess and I'm loving every moment of it! Today the Mane Six, tomorrow all of Equestria!
Well, this is just a deliscious fic that makes me feel horrible about myself :p
I hope against hope for a good ending, but with what Twilight has done, it would be near impossible to accomplish. Unless her actions weren't her own and she was affected by the charm herself (Like, the charm wants to spread itself, so it seeks to influence the original caster to then want to cast it more) but I don't know.
My emotions are in turmoil
5752913 what campaign was trhat?
5762941 It was anything specific, just a 3.5 homebrew campaign a friend of mine did. We kinda flew by the seat of our pants in it, but it was fun.
The premise was that we were a group hired by a criminal syndicate in a big city to to jobs for them to help increase their influence, such as raiding dungeons for riches and powerful artifacts before adventurers with a better moral compass than ours could get them, assassinations and heists, etc. etc.
We eventually ended up founding our own organization (a smuggling company) and did our own thing after we got bored of the syndicate stuff - and a couple months after that, our party couldn't keep up a consistent schedule to meet for the game and we ended up calling it.
.....
.....
This is relevant to my interests.
(No, but seriously, MOAR PLEASE!)
.....
.....
This is relevant to my interests.
(No, but seriously, MOAR PLEASE!)
5751244 Applejack almost got to her, didn't she? It's a tough one as to how close she actually was to giving over. Right then she might have agreed to stop, but a little time and boredom, and temptation setting in...
5751285 Yep, this was totally coercive. Twilight didn't want an honest conversation, she wanted Applejack to agree with her.
5751991 A couple of people have speculated that one! My lips are sealed.
5754710 If there's anything that defines Twilight, it's that she tries to learn from everything, and does things methodically - or at least notices when she hasn't, and works to improve. Even slowly turning into a puppet master with a deep fetish for controlling her best friends can't touch that one!
5774363
She seemed to waiver just enough that Applejack might have talked her into going to Celestia about it. Though it's possible she would back out at the last minute. Likely, even, since she could make Applejack forget about it and she's terrified of disappointing Celestia. I almost wonder if that's the endgame; the stress of coming clean to Celestia push her to act irrationally and decide that controlling her makes disappointing her go away as a problem.
What are you doing to me with this fic. It's hitting oh so many buttons of mine, while making me both terrified and anxious to further check it out. I had to work up the courage to read another chapter for half an hour.
Hey twisted thought, if Twilight has complete control of the mares minds when their awakened, does she also have control of their bodies? For example if Twilight told them every time they head her make a certain noise, they'd have an instant orgasm, would it happen?
5795956 That's completely possible. She hasn't used it to produce such direct physical reactions yet, but her accident with Applejack's fast-forwarded memories has certainly made it obvious she could.
It's already been established that Twi can't alter the "Awaken" trigger directly (as showcased in Chapter 5), but would she be able to generate new trigger phrases unique to each individual that produce the same effect?
It still seems like it would be useful to have the option to trance just one of them, if she wanted to.
5822501 That's my quest, to make others laugh and also maybe write something good.
And find out if the ponies around me are figments of my imagination or I am actually seeing, talking to, and interacting with actual ponies that only I can see, hear, and sense... I hope it's the latter, that would be sweet
Good, Applejack is, er, "fixed"... for lack of a better term... Newbies. They're always so messy. With practice comes experience, though, as is evident.
*Laughs like a really skinny old lady who wants to make a coat out of your dalmatians.*
This is a great series, I really enjoy reading each new chapter as they come out.
5822981 Rarity's reaction to Twilight about to charm her might be my single favourite line in the entire thing.
5841465 Spike is off on a vision quest! While it may seem he's been gone a long time, the whole duration of the story so far is fairly short - a few weeks at most.
5852014 I'm really glad you're enjoying it! I'm well into writing the next chapter.
Pre-chapter comment! Most specific comments have been addressed, other than the one I left alone for spoilers:
5823731 You were surprisingly close to what I had in mind with this.
Beyond that, I just wanted to say how happy I am that you're all reading and enjoying! Do keep guessing where things are headed, it's fun!
This is starting to get out of my comfort zone......
Wow. This was a heavy chapter. It got really emotional, and for the first time I realized that I was reading this for the story now, instead of the clop. This is also the first point where I felt the story could end, if it needed to. An incomplete ending, perhaps, but a kinda sweet one. And we could have used our imaginations to continue on our own. (still thankful that you didn't stop!)
Also have a couple epic lines in here.
Oh my gods these made me laugh so hard!
ON DRAGONBALL Z! Oh don't give me that look, it was hard enough to resist this far and you just gave me an opportunity I couldn't resist.
i.imgur.com/LZvFzpi.jpg
6657975 s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/22/9f/90/229f904d90b96597d619919992e05a8d.jpg
6729686 The image is broken for me and I'm really curious. What is it?
5823731
I would draw that, but I suck at drawing anthro.
7108544 Imgur doesn't like fimfiction anymore, so open the image in a new tab. You might then need to reload it. That should let you view it.
I could have sworn AJ would say no to Twilight. But, you can't go wrong with a pony orgy.
6729686
Wonderful use of an ERB line XD It even kind of works in the original sense of it o.o
Está sí es una historia erótica
Oh dear. Twilight, you have gone full CelestAI now. We need a CEO of Hoofvar industries named Hanna to stop you, and that no longer exists :-)
Alright, this is really interesting:
So for everything else this spell does, Applejack's real personality is still there, somewhere. And it has now come out.
Yep. The one that has really changed here is Twilight. Moreso than the others, even if they were temporarily, as AJ put it, sharing their head with a copy of themselves.
Oh dear ...
How do you prevent power from corrupting? By making sure you've got someone checking you that can override you. And she knows that she can, and should ... and won't.
Slippery slope? Naah, this is now over the cliff. Bye-bye Twilight, force of Good. Hello Succubi Evening Light.
10669151 I'm afraid this correction isn't correct. She is specifying to be attracted to Twilight, and to all ponies that Twilight enchants in order to make them hers. The line is as intended.
5752913
My favorite abuse of the three laws is just that a robot/slave can intentionally not know about something that is going to happen.
Talk to someone else, get them to set something up, and don't tell you any of the details. You don't know about it, and can avoid doing anything, and someone else will take your revenge for you.
Of course, if you knew for certain that something was going to happen, that would be one thing. But you don't know, do you? Naah, all you know is that someone has an issue, and that's normal, right?
I adore this, and it shows exactly why 90% of people would end up in this situation. Can you imagine never risking anything in social interaction ever again? Being able to take control and make sure things worked out manually?
It’s like turning on commands in a video game. Once you use them, you can’t ever go back.
No, she would’ve become Daybreaker and had a harem fifty times the size of yours in a day. Someone hasn’t gotten rid of their mentor blindness goggles yet.
(To clarify, I am not judging future Daybreaker. She deserves some sex slaves after a thousand years of the worst job on the planet.)