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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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New chapter, go!
I hate you because of this story. It makes me clop, which I dont like.
But I love you for all these scenarios, the way they talk, the realism of Twi slowly falling, the lovely way you describe each and every intricate and intimate detail. And it it the best story for hypnosis/mind control fetishes that I've seen anywhere! So new chapter to read, *squee*
FiMC is featured again!
I hope there'll be a good explanation for why Celestia used the charm to fuck her own sister. That seems... strange for her.
And there it is! The evil laugh! Oh, baby... this is HAWT.
Wintermist, you beautiful bastard.
The plot thickens...
5977717 It's making me lean a bit closer to the theory that Celestia may have been the one who created the spell in the first place. There's a possibility that Equestria may not be the grand utopia that it portrays itself being, when its current state may be attributable to a certain spell's influence on the populace. Celestia is a very well loved ruler — who's to say that said love is genuine?
After all, you know what they say: Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
First off excellent job writing Zecora's dialogue it was perfect.
I was very surprised by the twist that Celestia was already using this spell on Luna and this story now has a proper antagonist to Twilight which should make things very entertaining. I also loved the way you introduced Celestia using the spell as well, I didn't want her to just suddenly control Twilight like a few of the comments have mentioned but this way was fantastic. The way Celestia made her sister speak and act was very vulgar and I don't usually think of Celestia as the vulgar type so I'm interested in seeing Celestia show her 'true' self if the one we usually see is just a facade. The entire scene of Luna reenacting her submission was incredibly hot as well.
Twilight has already learned to use Luna's abilities to be able to take control of anyone anywhere and using her spell to alter Zecora's feelings is a very interesting way to do it. I very much enjoy the altering someone to think that being altered was what they wanted all along method of mind control. Also of course Zecora having nipple-rings is a requirement and you filled that very nicely.
As for whether Twilight is under control I still hope not, its possible that Celestia set up this entire situation but if so I'd hope Twi could manage to break free and gain the upper hand. It would have required Celestia to be pretty thoughtless though if she set up this situation and didn't put in commands that just prevented Twilight from even acknowledging Celestia as an option.
Also surprising that Pinkie somehow realized what was going on, I wonder what tipped her off since I thought Twi did a decent job of locking the doors and closing the windows and such. Looking forward to whatever you've got planned for her!
All in all another fantastic episode, I enjoy how you've changed to almost having like two chapters in one with the first half going over Luna's explanations and fun time and the second half using Luna to take Zecora (and last episode starting with Fluttershy and ending with Luna's enslavement).
P.S. A fun idea I'd love to see if you find a spot for it would be Twilight X Nightmare Moon (since Luna has shown she can transform into NMM on the Nightmare Night episode), basically a roleplay of their encounter in the Everfree castle but with Twilight instead getting her with the spell though Twilight still needs Pinkie before she could have everyone there.
Wow just wow. I have to say that this story really gets my heart racing at how wrong yet so exciting it is.
You know what, I wasn't really surprised that Celestia had used the charm before. Heck, I suspected for a while that she was the creator. I do hope to see that Twilight eventually charms Celestia and asks her if she was ever charmed in a similar way, now that would be interesting to see play out.
I can't wait for the next chapter!
Well, I had guessed Celestia was involved, but I love how you introduced her use of the charm. It also raises questions. It seems reasonable to conclude that the spellbook Twilight got the charm from was once Celestia's; so was it lost during Nightmare Moon's first rise? Was it deliberately left behind when Celestia moved to Canterlot? Or was it planted more recently for Twilight to find?
All we know right now is that Celestia has used the charm on Luna at some point. Twilight didn't think to ask of when Celestia took Luna. I'm inclined to think use of the charm is ongoing; Celestia would surely worked out how to remove her old instructions from Luna, so Luna's current set of charmed behaviours were either installed fairly recently - or they're much older, and Celestia's just never had reason to change them.
This assumes Celestia created the spell, of course. If she didn't - then who did, and for what purpose? Sombra's a possibility, as is Chrysalis. The latter is doubtful, though - if she had a charm this powerful, she'd have used it in the assault on Canterlot.
Celestia, Pinkie, Discord, Cadance remain on the board. I assume Pinkie will have to be the next target, as soon as Twilight remembers to ask Zecora exactly what Pinkie suspected.
Love love love this story.
5977867 it must have been those combos that alarmed Pinkie.
Twitchy twitch.
my reaction of the Celestia part.
Am starting to think Spike is with Celestia right now...and charmed, I wouldn't put it past her.
Am also sure she has a basic charm on Twilight, Cadence, and possibly Shining Armor after all if even only to keep herself safe or possibly the kingdom it would be both prudent (and fun) to keep some of the most powerful at heel.
I wonder if the charm affects the caster as well. Possibly, it prevents from acknowledging itself and encourages to use the charm on other ponies and use them in a sexual way. In such case it might be that a) Celectia only used the charm on Luna to prevent her from becoming Nightmare again and b) cleaning the charm would be even more difficult.
Anyway, thanks for the chapter. What will unlucky 13th number will bring?
Now to wait for FutaTwi, dood. I was right to watch this one carefully.
reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/stop_penis_erect_archer.gif
It is impossible to overstate how supremely sexy it is to see Luna, a literal Goddess(/demigod), be brought to the level of willing servant/slave.
It is the ultimate Mind Control fantasy for me. Not only have you managed to capture the feeling flawlessly, but you did so with an adequate amount of buildup to make this moment really feel special. Lots of stories have the main character just instantly walk into the throne room, flash their power, and become overlord, which completely kills the significance of things. But this story treats the Princesses with the "respect" their position deserves, and the end result is so much more impactful.
The revelation regarding Celestia is really interesting, and adds a scary dynamic to this story. Celestia not only used the charm on her own sister, but seems to be happy to enforce a mentality upon Luna that even Twilight has not done yet. It seems entirely likely at this point that Celestia is the creator of the spell; it's ridiculously powerful, capable of working through dreams (which is something that probably only the Sisters know how to do), and of course the book was found in their old castle. Twilight is going to have to move quickly to take down Celestia before she realizes what has happened; Luna is a dangerous loose end until then. I predict that Twilight, once she has finished analyzing the spell, will make a move on Celestia. She'll probably try and do it in a dream as a surprise attack. I wonder if she'll try teaching the spell to Luna and having her do the deed, as a method of keeping herself safe from a possible counter-attack. Maybe use the Mane 6's harmony power in some way? A Charm-infused Harmony beam straight to Celestia's face!
I also love that you gave Twilight a moment of existential dread, where she wonders if she herself has been charmed. Too few MC'ers wonder about such things, but it's totally what someone should fear in this situation. Twilight knows the insidious power of the Charm, she knows that if she was charmed, it'd be instant game over and she'd never even have the chance to know what happened.
I wonder if she could figure out a method of properly defending against it. Perhaps once she fully understands the charm, she can develop an effective Ward to place on herself/harem, to protect against Celestia.
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That's a really good point. When I read this chapter I assumed Luna's story was from after her return, but now I'm not quite so sure. Given Luna's description of her demeanor before Celestia awakened her, not to mention her speech patterns (including Celestia's imposed awakening speech) being archaic(!), it seems likely that this was from before Nightmare Moon. Maybe Celestia wasn't able to simply awaken Nightmare Moon because NMM wasn't technically Luna at that point, and thus the charm failed. Celestia lost the spellbook in the old castle when she was grieving, and perhaps it has been forgotten in the time since.
I seem to recall somewhere Wintermist said that in this story's timeframe, Discord is still in stone (mid-S3).
But of course, Twilight could probably make Luna unlock him if she really wanted to take a gamble. Discord is the one creature who I'm really not sure about, as far as the charm goes. He's chaos incarnate, could a spell about control really work on him? Maybe with some extra power, like what Twilight did to hit Luna.
Any plans for additions to the harem other than Pinkie? Twilight did mention a certain Great and Powerful magician not to long ago.
This chapter was very good, but also chilling. It looks like Celestia has been using this charm to fulfill her power fantasies, and believing that wiping her victim's memory means that there are no consequences of her actions as long as no one finds out. But the mind doesn't work that way. The consciousness is only the surface of one's mind, so even if those memories are kept from surfacing the subconscious still receives and reacts to them, meaning that the person is affected by it like how Applejack started to fall for Twilight because of her visits. However, I suspect that the spell doesn't actually rewrite memories, but simply alters what the conscious mind "views" when it looks at them. It may also be possible that Luna didn't get possessed because of jealousy but because of the undirected misery left over from being used and then reverted to normal by her sister. It's also frightening to consider what else Celestia may have done to her considering that mantra and all of Luna's talk about degradation.
And that's just the stuff with Luna! Who knows how many others Celestia has taken. The implications of what she may have done to Twilight are even worse. What if Twilight is only loyal to Celestia because she was ordered to be? If she charmed Twilight, she probably did it while she was still very young. Did Celestia force herself on a child? The worst part about all of this is Twilight's terror that upsetting Celestia will somehow lead to her getting an absurdly disproportionate punishment and major humiliation, even though most of the time this comes up in the show there doesn't seem to be a legitimate reason to believe that. Could that have been what happened to her in a session if she angered or embarrassed her Princess somehow?
Watching Twilight struggle with her past and morality while still getting off on her dominance and bad behavior have been a ride, and while she has been coercive and deceitful about how she's taken her friends, she still has genuine concern for them despite her corruption and the relationship feels more like BDSM to me than anything else. Even with her taking Luna and Zecora without giving them a choice, her behavior towards Luna shows that she still cares, even if she may occasionally forget that they aren't just toys for her. The reveal of Celestia and the hints that she might be enchanting Twilight (and possibly other past students like Sunset, which may have led to her betrayal) was actually horrifying and on creepy-stalker-rapist levels.
Cannot wait to read more.
By the way, do you have any plans to do some bonus chapters, such as Twilight taking some characters that aren't important to this story, letting some of her friends (like Rarity or Luna) dom some of the others, or perhaps a bad end where Celestia wins and makes Twilight serve her willingly and help her figure out how to use the charm more effectively?
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If Wintermist has plans for bonus chapters, I'm hoping for Octavia, Spitfire (fun with Dash!), Cheerilee, and Nurse Redheart. Just to name a few that could be fun.
I'm sure that the author already has plans either way though.
Oh how I love stories that can remind the reader that mind control isn't the easiest thing in the world to master, and definitely one of the harder things to prevent others from learning about. Twilight isn't walking into this like a sex crazed fiend or someone with a lust for power, she's going into this like a scientist who got too wrapped up in the experiment.
Plus the more I think about it the more horrifyingly clever it is to have Celestia know and master the spell. This puts a lot of past events into the spot light with the new knowledge of this charm. There is one thing that stands out to me however....
Celestia is terrifying subtle, she's able to plan things in advance, so why would she blunder up and leave the spell book in a castle she told Twilight to grab books from? This is playing out sort of like a game of chess, except Twilight doesn't know if she's a pawn or a player. Do note that Celestia could easily command Twilight (if she is charmed) to not see her at all.
But, as someone else said, Spike is with Celestia now. If Twilight were to make the connection and/or start believing that Celestia is using her assistant as a slave.... Well, Twilight has know to blow up before.
Twilight has successfully awakened Princess Luna and worries she'll be discovered by Princess Celestia.
Solution.... Awaken Princess Celestia.
5980185 I don't believe it was mentioned anywhere where exactly Spike is, only that he is on some sort of quest, which I imagine means he's simply traveling Equestria not necessarily with Celestia.
I haven't read it yet, but I can tell from the title alone that this chapter will make me love you forever. Be back in a few minutes...
That's it. There's nothing else to see. This story has gotten as good as it'll ever get without ascending to some higher plane of existence.
Unfortunately, I don't think I have any particularly meaningful words for you at this juncture. This story, up to and throughout this chapter, has been one of my favorite reading experiences ever. Not only is it ludicrously sexy, but you find some way to keep it fresh chapter after chapter. You don't let things stagnate, which is a feat after 12 installments.
On top of that, you supplement the clop with an actually worthwhile story. Hell, you could do away with the clop and just have Twilight on a power trip and still have a pretty good story here. (note: Doing away with the clop was by no means a suggestion. Merely an observation.)
The Celestia revelation is shocking, but not wholly unexpected. Luna's past experiences however, caught me with my pants down. (Laugh it up. I know what I said.) Princest is another of those things for me.
One thing I particularly liked was that you remained faithful to Zecora's speech pattern throughout, even going so far as to question and explain it in a satisfying way. Far too often, I see authors write Zecora's speech the same as anypony else and handwave it by saying that it's something she just sort of stopped doing. That was the one thing I was afraid might happen here, and you assuaged that fear nicely.
All in all, you have given me a massively appealing gift by posting this chapter. I'm not nearly vain enough to think that that was your intent in writing it, but I thank you for it nonetheless. Though I swear to god if there's a lactation scene later, I'm going to start looking for spy programs on my computer.
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Although I don't think this is coming, just the tease of this gave me the shivery goosebumps. I'd love to see that.
I think this is the first time Twilight's consciously and deliberately abused her power isn't it? She's surely just crossed to the dark side. And yet, with Celestia confirmed as the instigator of the charm, it kind of vindicates Twilight, because... well, there's no higher authority than Celestia. If this is okay for her, then it's okay for Twilight. At least I think that's how Twilight would see it.
5979861 that could be very interesting.
for example some dark chapter where Lyra has become Twilight's plaything and bonbon is there for the watch.
Yep. Been expecting this. Now all that's left is "Twilight, awaken."
Wonder if she'll remember to ask important questions to determine if Celestia uses the charm on others, or when she used it last (or the first time she used it).
That was fun, may I have another? Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
The real twist is this is all just a dream land that was created when Nightmare Moon succeeded in conquering equestria and she is slowly preparing them to live in a world that she controls... Lronably not, but you cant stop my pointless speculations.
I don´t know what it is, but something is bothering me about this line. Why does Zecora ask for that?
Maybe I´m just imagining things, but this would be a good point to . . . well . . . F*** up Twilight´s perfect-streak.
6008386 Let's see. I put in 500 words per day on FiMC, more if I hit a good stretch. It obviously depends how long the chapter is, but I'd estimate maybe two weeks from now. That's much more of a guess than a promise though.
Oh we had an evil thought. Twilight knows the charm. Celestia knows the charm. Twilight knows Celestia knows the charm. Celesta doesn't know Twilight knows it. Celestia visits and Twilight tricks her. Royal orgy ensues.
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That's taking some rather big risks that someone who has been using the spell longer than she has isn't ready to defend against it somehow.
6023061 You can always risk it all and still win if the more experienced one underestimates you. I never said it would work either just that it could. The key is for Celestia to not know until it is too late to defend. Luna is proof of that.
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Twilight doesn't really seem the type to take that kind of risk. I think she's more likely to try and consolidate her position; make sure Pinkie isn't going to out her and capitalize on the fact that no one knows she's doing this and gather more slaves/information.
6027060 6024507 I agree with Arzoo here, but there's also another detail that is worth noting (again):
There's always the possibility that Celestia already charmed Twilight, before any of this story's plotline happened. Theorizing on taking the risk is completely irrelevant if the battle is over before it even starts.
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Twilight already noted that she has to hope she's not charmed because she can't do much about it anyway.
I guess she could go into hiding or otherwise avoid contact with Celestia, though.
5977717 I think strange is too nice. I Prefer crazy as hell!
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This is the most likely course of action, unless something unexpected comes along which forces Twilight to improvise (which is exactly what occurred with Luna).
Though I can't imagine Twilight would want to wait too long. As soon as she's MC'd Pinkie and figured out the charm, she'll make a move. Probably not purely her own decision, but I suspect Luna and Rarity to lend encouragement.
6041039 To point out my view even if Twilight is charmed she can be able to charmed Celestia, (even though there might be a detail that Celestia made Twilight to find the spell book from the begining) after all Luna being charmed by Celestia didn't apply some other effects when she was under the spell by Twilight.
Pre-chapter comment time! Wow, there have been some really interesting guesses, some of which are right, some wrong and some intriguingly nibbling at the edges of plot yet to be revealed. I have a lot of fun reading them! One in particular asks a crucial question which nails a tell tale inconsistency exactly. Naturally, I'm not going to confirm which one it is yet!
Zecora is a fun character, and I enjoyed constructing her rhyming speech. She definitely wouldn't feel the same to me without it. I do have plans for fitting some of the background ponies in, whether in bonus chapters or other ways. It would be a terrible shame if I didn't write something involving the Great and Powerful one, wouldn't it?
Twilight has slid pretty far down the slippery slope by this point, leaving her kind, loving, and a terrible person. It's a fun mix to work with! I'm really glad to see so many people enjoying the story (my first fanfic, and it's reached 95,000 words and still not finished! Good grief) and I hope I keep making it interesting!
I just had a fascinating... and kind of scary thought about Luna....
Also, Zecora and Lna together as Twilights mindless slaves.... And Luna even serving her with such devotion even when she's not und the spell.... RDdeMC may still have the better plot... but this is SOOOO much hotter!
Man.......There's you broke my score of mustaches to give for what you did to Zecora in that comic...... 6/5.....Already your fan, await a subscribe
u know that Zecora is a Zebra, and not a Pony right? that much is cannon in the show, season one episode Bridle Gossip
6215865 A zebra is still an equine, which means that they are, in fact, a type of horse, or in this case, a type of pony.
Precisely.
Hang on a second; Twilight didn't tell Luna to talk like this. Something is fishy.
So, first time through here, mind blown. Celestia using the charm? No big surprise. Luna telling one of her depre... OH YE' GODS! What the hell, Tia?! And many of my burning questions are answered... and several more rise to take their place. Also found out that Wintermist can write a good Zecora. Very nice, and not too easy.
So all in all was a very nice chapter to get to read.
For reasons that others have summed up as well as I ever can, this is amazing.
And insanely sexy.
And horrifying.
Just how long ago was the last time Luna was Awakened by Celestia, anyhow? Has Celestia Awakened her sister at all since Luna's return?
Because I'm willing to bet that the Nightmare Moon is the end result of conflicting desires and personalities caused by the charm crashing into each other in the most violent fashion. If Luna somehow found out about her other, brainwashed self, she could very well remember the experience as something horrific, a process of watching her identity slip through her hooves like loose sand as she was effectively killed and replaced with something different.
If that is the case...no wonder she went crazy and tried to kill Celestia.
Okay, i cant just keep reading more chapters before i make atleast one comment. This is a great story, possibly the best clop i've read, now that that's out of the way.
Here is my three possible ending to this masterpiece(are they good or bad, you decide);
1:Twilight makes a great dictator, Luna does secret police(see what they think in their sleep and bring in Twilight if there would be upprising).
2:Conserted opposition from Cadence, Shining, dragons, griffons and others to try and oppose her.
3:It was all a simulation from Discord trying to corrupt Twilight or a dream from Luna trying to do the opposite, possibly with a real Luna doing everything orded for kicks or that the other mane 6 is having the same dream to make them be able to see the signs of an evil(or corrupt) twilight.
Numbers 1 and 2 could be the same, 1 could make a great spinoff, how do you overthrow someone who knows what you are dreaming about.