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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Ooh, I really like the way you did Rainbow Dash, letting them keep their personality and making them completely aware and accepting of their minds being manipulated is just so wrong yet so sexy.
It's nice to see Twilight really seems to be working the kinks out regarding her commands compared to when she first started messing with AJ. Also fuck yes to Twilight testing the charm to cause realistic visions, that was fantastic! Rainbow also adds a more spirited member to the group and I'm sure she'll spice things up quite a bit.
Twi has now obtained an earth pony, unicorn, and pegasus so she's got a nice variety of friends to play with. Loving all of it so far!
It is official. Twilight is now tripping balls on the dark side of the Force... and I'm okay with that. She has yet to reach the moral event horizon just yet but she is definitely close. She definitely should be looking to buy some black robes. Heh, maybe Rarity will make her a nice evil overlord getup.
I really do like Rainbow Dash here. I think I liked Twilight's interactions with her better than her interactions with Applejack and Rarity. I'm not sure if that's due to Twilight's active seducing and manipulating of Rainbow or if it is due to Rainbow's own personality coming through the filter of the spell. I think I have said this before but I really like how each of the girls maintain a distinctiveness in how they act and behave while under the spell. It is just too easy and common for a character's personality to be suppressed through mind control that I have to praise it when it isn't the case.
I wonder when Twilight is going to go big and go after Celestia with a surprise charm, or Find out that all of her friends just wanted to get in her pants and just played along for the luls and chance to bed Sparkle But.
Will it matter to somepony notice this beacuse it's not like going directly to the confrontation to end up in the manipulation..
(Suck it Zecora)
Awesome chapter as always hope to see more soon.
I suspect Luna may find out before Celestia, due to her friends probably having a dramatic change in move. I suspect also that the spell has a minor add-on to it that presses the user, that and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Though I'd hope this gets the mane 6 at least before it ends this is just to good!
so far very good story that keeps geting better. also like how you did rainbow dash in this chapter. on a side note Twilight should so go after one of the princesses soon.
5646314 she doesen't seemed curropted beacuse she would go and "charmed" all her freinds (including the princesses) at once withou consent ment or permission,
5647925 corruption isn't always fast sometimes its a slow process she did push for Rainbow soon, that and shes getting addicted to sex and add to the fact she is in control which is kinda her thing it has a way in, that is simply taking a part of her and bringing to the surface. however this is only a theory so take it with a grain of salt.
This is, by far, the greatest lesbian mind-control horse pornography I have ever read.
That was a joke, but it is also true - your writing really is fantastic. And I'm not even a mind-control aficionado! I also can't help but speculate on where the story might be going next. If you're taking it to a dark place you might emphasize the comparison between Twilight and Sombra (my crystal sssslaves!) by trancing Cadance. Or she might make her way to Canterlot and become God-Empress Twilight Sparkle - ruler of Equestria and the Divine Harem! Either way I'm looking forward to whatever comes next.
5648092 but it's not like she is losing control of things beacuse she is careful and taking things slowly and with permission, for example remember tha episode when Squidward tasted his first "cangreburger" (sorry i don't know the name of the hamburger in english) he lost control and end up hospitalized.
Besides she is making sure that everypony is happy, unless she is cuaght by someoe watching from the window.
5648951 I don't really watch THAT show (I shall never say its evil name!) but i get what you mean. I think we can agree to disagree on my theory abit ha, thanks for the talk though i enjoy it~!
5649812
Well i'm sorry the use of that example, but the thing is that Twilight might well know when to stop with or without consentment.
Your welcome, and when you need to talk ransom stuff you can count on me.
5650382
rs1img.memecdn.com/ronald-ransom_c_476823.jpg
...I couldn't resist.
5655110 oh i'm glad that you take advantege of it.
(I shall kill the one who switched the buttons on my keyboard)
I do like the way you handled Rainbow Dash here; she's much less 'compliant doll' and much more 'enthusiastic participant.'
inb4 the mind control spell works just as well on the princesses as it does on anyone else
inb4 the princesses are already using the spell on the entirety of Equestria
inb4 they taught Twilight the spell on purpose, instructed her to use the spell on her friends one by one, and then told her to forget those instructions but still act on them
inb4 they're watching all of this, in person, but instructed everyone to not notice them unless they need help
5664926 "inb4 the princesses are already using the spell on the entirety of Equestria" Well of course. How else would anyone believe there was a creature so powerful she can raise the sun and moon?
Why do I feel like her friends are literally just playing around not actually hypnotized. Or if they are then they were hypnotized before twilight got to them.
I'd like to see some "Humiliation Play" I think Twilight would have a mile long grin have that kind of control.
Only a suggestion...
5694000
I concur. I'd love to see Twilight humiliate her friends. Perhaps even just Applejack, who we know admitted to fantasising about being humiliated even before Twilight hypnotised her.
5648809
Mentioning Cadance brought me to another possible application of the spell, you know. Cadance's special talent is spreading love and affection and smoothing conflict.
Twilight Sparkle here has the ultimate tool for both.
What if she decides to emulate her good friend and favourite ex-foalsitter? If she sees a couple really tearing into one another, it would be simple to put them both under and order them to be all lovey-dovey again. Considering Twilight's own proclivities, it'd probably go along the lines of her 'playing' with the female a bit while the male does nothing (or using him as another toy), and then giving her standing orders to be submissive to him; she's attracted to females as well as wanting to see them in a submissive position.
Or she could just leave her a lesbian. Not sure if Twilight is truly ready to destroy a relationship like that, though.
This is the most erotic thing I've read in months. I can't wait for further chapters. Please, oh please keep up this awesome work!
This was probably the best chapter yet, and that's saying a lot. The scene with Rainbow playing a prank on Twilight was perfect and shows that there's more to this story than just senseless clop.
I really liked Rainbow's pretend-slave personality, doing whatever Twilight tells her while still seemingly being the dominant one. I liked even more how she reacted after Twilight woke her up; It's hard to see Twilight as an evil overlord when her friends are all reacting like that.
Another thing I love is how organized Twilight is. She's not just getting more experienced, she's actively learning; taking precautions, trying to be as clear as possible and even going so far as to make checklists and write out the commands before she gives them. Giving your characters a lucky break in this kind of story (like Rarity implying that Twi and AJ have a crush on each other instead of outright blocking off the topic and rousing suspicion) is one thing, but it gets tiring if characters keep being obvious and overconfident and I'm glad that this story isn't like that.
As a final note: don't listen to them! Those commenters who want Twilight to enslave everypony (or at least the Princesses) and become a mind control overlord. There's more than enough stories like that and far too few stories like this, and I very much enjoyed seeing Twilight care for her friends and doing what she can to take their feelings and (general) right of freedom into consideration.
5741663 I feel like maybe you're looking at this the wrong way. For me it's not about seeing her become an evil mind control overlord, it's seeing what she does, to who she does it to, and how she rationalizes doing it. Obviously the princesses are like the final bosses and so I want to see how far Twi is willing to take this fetish of hers. (The clop is a big bonus on top of all that)
The characters in this story are well written and we see everything from Twilight's point of view. So while Twi doesn't seem like an 'evil overlord' to us, if we look at it from any other ponies POV she's doing something morally reprehensible taking away free choice like this and they'd probably lock her up for it.
Her friends have been very much rewritten to like and enjoy whatever Twilight wants them to so their reactions aren't the most reliable, thus I'd definitely place that under the not a very good (morality wise) thing.
So yes Twilight isn't being mean spirited but she's still a powerful mage using what's probably a forbidden spell to enslave her friends and she might be becoming addicted to it.
I don't know about that, If you know of other stories where Twilight uses her magic to enslave her friends into sex-toys with fantastic characterization to back up her actions like this fic please link them.
5742452
That's what I get for writing idealistic comments after midnight.
I'll admit that that whole thing I wrote sounded (slightly) better in my head. As for those other stories, I was talking more in general about somepony getting hypnosis powers and immediately going out or making plans to make ponies into their toys. At least in this story Twilight is apprehensive and retains her sense of moral, tilted as it might be.
I haven't really looked through the list of stories like that in a long time, though, so that might only be what it feels like to me. I do remember seeing some stories where Twilight is corrupted a lot easier and proceeds to built a harem, but then again I avoided those and didn't actually read them; I might have a completely wrong image of what actually happens in those stories.
Pre-chapter comment!
5645056 5645135 5647140 5663678 I'm really delighted that so many people liked Rainbow Dash's personality under the charm. She's a lot of fun to write, and certainly took Twilight by surprise. Even when she's a sub, she's in charge! Twilight does have intentions for her that will put her in her place a little, and the plot is heading for a serious dose of humiliation play so 5694000 5733083 - there's definitely some of that on the way!
5649812 5656594 - I had fun watching you debate. So long as you find it plausible that this might just be Twilight's natural reaction to ultimate power over her friends, I'm doing my job right!
5743942 Don't worry, I'm not intending to make Twilight suddenly leap off the morality cliff to become a cape wearing supervillain. That doesn't mean she won't eventually end up there, though. She's certainly finding that you can get almost anywhere so long as you take it one step at a time.
5648809 You made me laugh. #1 in super-specific genre!
All in all, I'd really like to thank all of you for commenting on my writing, and saying such kind things. I'm overjoyed that it's being well received, and I hope you stick with this story all the way to see where Twilight goes, and how she gets there.
Why is it, that now when I can see Twilight finally meeting Celestia... and this being admitted to her.... I can just see Celestia sighing (or maybe smirking...) and the fiction ending with Celestia saying... "Twilight, Awaken" and just fading to black as she complies....
I can just imagine it now:
Twilight Sparkle is sitting on her throne wearing a dominatrix outfit, one leg crossed over the other, a stern and superior look on her face.
Applejack is wearing the outfit tailored for her by Rarity, sitting on the floor, her head resting in Twilight's lap, her Mistress idly stroking her mane.
Rarity is in her skimpy maid outfit, standing to the right of the throne, offering a tray of tea to Twilight.
Rainbow Dash is wearing a tight tank-top and short shorts, standing at attention to Twilight's left.
And her harem will only grow bigger, I presume?
I'm curious about one thing why leave Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy out of Twilight's fun?
Oh wow, that got a laugh out of me.
I noticed something. Where's Spike in all this? He'd be a constant "He could walk in on me at any second!" thread to Twilight which would make things even more interesting than they already are^^
6112845
It was stated that Spike is on a "dragon vision quest", essentially a journey of self discovery. Or he's just wandering around Equestria for the fun of it. Who knows?
How did I feel about this chapter the first time...? Well, it was the first one I found myself waiting for. I originally came in when the story only went up to Rarity getting focused, so this wasn't the first one to need an update before I could read. But between Rarity mentioning things and Twilight Twilight's morals already starting to crumble, I was really wanting to see what would happen to Rainbow Dash.
I was not disappointed. I still felt like she tricked Rainbow, but thought it was a really interesting way to 'convince' her to join. And yeah, at this point I figured Twilight was building a harem out of this.
I also started to realize how well the development of Twilight was being done. To paraphrase Rainbow, "When did Twilight get so sexy?!" But while this was different than anything seen out of Twilight from the show, it still seems like her, because we are watching her fall into this new temptation, this break-down of her morals.
Already felt like this author needed major kudos, and it turned out he was just getting started!
Oh, also found 'training time time' to be an interesting concept. Kinda surprised it doesn't show up more often. I guess Twilight just prefers to use her main reset button of "Awaken!"
Normally I wouldn't comment on stories like this because I really don't like to admit I read clop sometimes, but... holy shit, Rainbow in "training mode" is awesome and hilarious.
So far the rest of the story is good too, it's just that Training Mode Rainbow was finally enough to get me to comment publicly.
I get the feeling that if Discord found out, he'd be so proud of her and it'd be a Your Approval Fills Me With Shame moment.
Huh?
First quote is from the chapter seven, second's from this one.
Maybe change "woman" to "mare"? After all, this's anthro fic, not human.
Btw, about "ma'am" and "my lady"... well, the former irkes me a bit, given circumstances it's used under (although, I can justify the use of it for both Dash and Applejask), guess it's just personal preferences, while the later's certainly a good idea
So far, so good, and I'm off for the day
Almost immediately upon starting the first chapter, you'd convinced me you had no idea how to write the characters.
The dialogue was all wrong, they were acting in ways they'd never do, and so on.
I kept reading, though, as I figured I could just treat it as an all-original-character story - those can be good too, after all.
By now?
I've no idea what was going on in the first chapter, since you're one of the most accurate-to-character writers I've read lately!
Situations that far outside of the 'norm' for the characters, and yet they keep acting accurately enough I've no trouble imagining it happening on a perverted version of the show.
Hopefully there's more 'simple' control going forward; Forced obedience makes me kind of uncomfortable (though obviously I'd not be reading this kind of a story if I was entirely uninterested), but forced loyalty/desire/whatever you want to call RD's (and kind of Rarity's) state, is a lot 'sexier'.
Obviously, the story's already written, so it's not like what I write'll change anything, but in terms of letting you know what readers are wanting (for future story-writing reference) I'm still hoping they (especially RD and potentially Pinkie. I'd have thrown AJ in, but she needs to be 'fixed' at the moment) keep their 'core' personalities going forward.
TwiDash is a rather fun pairing, even non-romantically, even if I usually prefer RarityDash in terms of Dash shippings - but I guess what Twilight ultimately needs is AppleJack's advice... Such a shame she got turned before Twi knew the right way to phrase things.
Hmmmm. I LIKE IT! *throws phone on ground* MORE!
Actually, despite this having so much fucking clop/sex in it so far you could fill 50 fuck warehouses designed for blimps to the brim and still have a metric fuckton leftover, I don't fucking care. I still fucking like this, and I'll fucking continue reading. This is how my fucking mind normally fucking speaks, but I censor the living fuck out of that shit the majority of the goddamn time, but here, I'm just fucking saying it.
The more I think about it, Dash's servitude seems to be the least controversial or forced. That's nice since I'm beginning more and more to ship Twidash.
Here's the momentum. Three down two to go and with do little time. I'll bet Twilight's still able to control Celestia by the end of this.
You know, that's a really interesting question...
Go for her, Twilight! Inquiring minds want to know!
5841465
Spike is on some quest adventure thing.
Well, ...
I give Twilight points for:
1. Finding out that Rainbow was interested in girls first,
2. Using the spell -- very carefully this time -- only for visualizations, to show Rainbow what was possible,
3. Getting Rainbow's approval
She failed to consider that maybe, just maybe, being under the spell causes ponies to agree to whatever she suggests in the first place, so that Rainbow would not have said no, no matter what she thought of it.
Or, perhaps she did.
Was this actual consent? It's certainly the closest we've seen yet to actual consent.
Does that make it right?
Serious, deep question there. Part of me says that no, mind control isn't right; part of me says that if Rainbow is willing, and wanted this, and agreed knowing what it would do ... ???
At least she questions a bit of what she is doing
9900944
Well there is the issue of forcing RD to decide quickly. Rushing her into a decision. That's a big no-no in the world of consent, still very nonconsensual in effect. People frequently make decisions they otherwise wouldn't simply because of a lack of time to consider things. Still you are right. This is the closest to actual consent we've gotten so far.
10598829
Oh, a new reader! Welcome. Enjoy yourself.
You'll find this story gets more and more interesting as you go. Just focus on the story, let it pull you in. Just awaken to the complications and learning that Twilight goes through.
You will enjoy this,I'm certain.
(slumber)
The joys of the re-read.
So, what I'm noticing is, Rainbow is doing a lover scene with Twilight before the command, like she's actually doing it of her own choice, and then on top of that she has the special command.
But in actuality? She accidentally said "you are mine" without even meaning to give a command, and she has compelled Rainbow to treat her as a lover even when not in training mode.
She is trying. Absolutely trying. Of course, to try implies to fail.
5645135
Oh no, she's well over the moral event horizon. As soon as she said "I can't let the princess, my mentor, know about this", she crossed over.
Go Twilight! That was almost ethical!
…Of course, technically I think all of this is ethical, at least more so than not using the spell, because it makes everypony happier than they were before. But that’s probably not a popular interpretation of mind control.