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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Chapter, go! Seventeen minutes late, too. For shame!
Forgot to capitalize 'it'.
Okay! let´s set the mood for this story and read this s**t!
Damn! Very nice chapter. I liked what you did with Luna.
Alright, this is getting really, really fascinating! And also, it is now far less morally difficult to side with Twilight in this conflict! The offering of the choice is very nicely done in both cases, and I look forward to the decisions of the other ponies. Honestly, I hope at least one of her thralls chooses to leave. It would feel like a cop-out otherwise.
My favorite part is definitely the last paragraph or so. Luna will make an interesting conscience for Twilight.
"Who should the Great and Powerful Trixie fuck?" That one line alone was enough to make me fall out of my chair laughing. I love it!
6430829 at the end of that chapter, I pressed my face into my palm for several minutes, and eventually sighed...
"I can explain!"
"Do."
I love what you've done with Trixie here. If Trixe is to be enslaved, then she is going to be the most obnoxiously subservient servant to ever serve.
I enjoyed the chapter right up until Twilight turned Trixie into... that. The fact that it was supposedly in retaliation for a betrayal that both hadn't and couldn't happen does not excuse her so utterly overwriting Trixie's personality, particularly in light of her supposedly giving everyone a choice in their service of her, and the fact that Trixie was brought there against her will in the first place to Twilight's benefit. I hope Luna actually convinces Twilight to undo those compulsions, at least the ones not directly related to better understanding the spell, or Luna's reasoning to stand by Twilight will have also been a lie. Great chapter, it's just the last bit that left a bitter taste in my mouth.
The right thing is often the hardiest thing to do, because temptation and the eviler deeds are so much easier for most. Power corrupts, but the effect can be minimized.
Just to say evil and good things are different even when it comes to the right things to do, it just commonly goes with good deeds rather then evil deeds, however at times both are necessary.
This part felt awkward for some reason. After stumbling over Trixie, The last thought I would have ins Luna, but the fact that I´m now having grass in my mouth or something. You don´t have to take my advice in this regard, but this train of thought was just out of place. if you rearrange it a bit, it might jist be more fluent.
Despite this, The chapter was glorious. I had to laugh so hard about some situations. That ending had me literally rolling on the floor, laughing with tears in my eyes. I love Trixie already
That ending XD
Why does doing the right thing have to be so... right?^^ I just hope this wont make twilights sex scenes any less perverted and hot^^ I was really enjoying the old "corrupted" Twilight playing with those other mares^^
Holy crap I love Trixie in this chapter, there's just something endearing with how she acts (and the way she refers to herself after Twilight's commands is unf). Every single one of Trixie's overly verbose statements and attempts at lying were some of the hottest dialogue I've read. I was somewhat afraid Twilight would just leave it at the original idea but then Trixie's betrayal gave her the will to go further and I'm absolutely in love with this Trixie, though she might just steal the show from anypony else in the scene .
I'm a bit upset with Luna because she has basically set herself up as a cockblock for Twilight, and I hope Twilight will still be able to have fun with the spell even if both she and Luna are attempting to reduce temptation. This makes for a somewhat interesting dynamic though with Trixie encouraging tempation and Luna discouraging it, like a literal angel and devil on Twilight's shoulders, if this were a video game these two would be the ones you use to get the Good or Evil endings xD.
I reaaaalllly hope Luna accepts Twilight's reasoning behind what she did to Trixie because goddamn it I love Trixie this way T.T. Thanks for keeping this story so interesting and dynamic, you're doing an amazing job!
aww I'm going to miss eagerly loyal servant Luna.
That was fun, may I have another? Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
PLEASE!!! NEXT CHAPTER I WANNA SEE SOME TWIXIE ACTION!!!!
This is the worst, because it is now the longest time before I can read more new content. What is your schedule for releasing these?
The Slutty and Submissive Trixie has been the most intensely erotic part of the story to me. Well done.
Also... I suspected Luna would come to this conclusion. Logically, a majority of Twilight's friends will not. Fluttershy has a high chance of wanting to continue, Pinkie probably doesn't care as long they're all having fun, but I doubt Rainbow and Rarity will. Not even Applejack, who finds the idea of being trapped, bound, and humiliated hot, because she's straight, unless being with Twilight suddenly made her realise she's actually bisexual. Which might be a just a tad contrived.
6432357 Well, every day I write at least 500 words. Some days, I'll write more, but 500 is the minimum. The chapters turn out to be as long as they need to be, rather than a fixed length, so it's a product of how long the chapter shakes out at and how much extra I put in when I'm on a roll in the evening. There isn't a fixed schedule, though I do try not to go more than a couple of weeks without a chapter.
This chapter has made Trixie my favorite in this fic. Her arrogance and boastfulness even in the face of mind control makes her all the more endearing.
A long glance through the window proved that Luna hadn't stirred. Fine. That was fine. She had to make sure Trixie was going to behave anyway. "Trixie, do you intend to serve me willingly?"
......That bich! Oo
*continue reading*
no....no twilight don't go that path....we remenber what happen to that ponie in that book....haahahah...AHAHAHA...yes,yES, YES!
I'd like this whole post Celestia plot be set up for her to lose because she wants Twilight to dominate her
Well, at this point the fic has two roads it can go down:
Road 1: Twilight learns to stop using the spell and becomes a better person.
Road 2: Twilight says 'fuck it' to any pretence of morality and goes full domination, and wins at winning Celestia over and takes over Equestra. Massive amounts of kinky sex ensue
Oh my God, this was so worth the wait. I can't decide whether I'm more jealous of Twilight for owning Trixie... or more jealous of Trixie.
6433979 "And then everyone fucked. The end."
It has a nice, concise ring to it. xD
There could have been no better way to end this chapter.
Man, I didn't know I needed Twilight to have Trixie as a sex slave as I do now. When Twilight was considering pulling down her panties and having explicit fun, I was nearly screaming "yes" :p
6434629
don't read the below unless you want to have something spoiled
Celestia was in the room with Twilight and Cheerilee and did charm Cheerilee
Trixie is glorious.
Couldn't arousal.
Too busy with laugh.
Maybe you can't awaken anybody while you're awakened. We already know that voice recordings don't work - maybe a similar restriction applies to anything an entranced person says.
Edit: Which clearly doesn't mean that you can't order someone to give orders to someone else (or even yourself, like Twilight did with her contingency plan). You just need to have them recite the order after they leave the trance.
(Editing your own mind by proxy would have a hell of a lot of perks, even as dangerous as it is. Getting rid of anxieties, irrational fears, bad habits...)
Oh no Twi, you're not doing it again.
Twi, what are you doing.
TWI, STAHP
Edit: On re-reading, her original intentions look less bad now, though she crossed the line after Trixie's confession. If she really does want to be a better person, she should undo the "funny" orders and just leave Trixie unable to use the spell or otherwise harm her.
In fact, she should probably give up on that relationship. Instead of punishing Trixie by forcing her into a different deal she didn't agree to, Twilight should block out Trixie's memory and let her go. It's the only option that's both safe and in line with the morals Twi and Luna just agreed on.
Hey, you know what would be even more messed up than this gloriously mind-screwing fic is already?
A song.
An MLP-style song, with Twilight singing about how good it feels to bring people under her spell, make them her salacious, sensual, sexy slaves...
Someone. DO IT.
If I'm not mistaken, Luna is now free to research a counterspell for the charm.
6438762 ...that's tempting. I wonder if it'd fit with the mood of the piece. Still, sudden breaking into suspiciously choreographed song is canon...
It seems that Twilight and Luna now have some kind of implicit agreement not to use the charm on each other, even though they're both able to do so.
I wonder if they could actually come with a way to mutually ensure this and prevent either of them from saying "Awaken" in each other's earshot. (Because if it comes to it, right now any conflict would come down to who can yell "Awaken" first.) For example, they could write down a "program" for Trixie that involves giving the "non-betraying" order to both Luna (after Trixie uses the spell on Luna, of course) and Twi, then forgetting about the spell herself. It'd be pretty complex though, and would probably have loopholes (eg. causing a third party to charm the other) no matter how carefully they plan it.
Edit: Wait, I missed Twi already forcing Luna to be unable to charm Twi. I guess now it really comes down to Twilight sticking to her newfound ethics...
Wait... did Celestia give that order before Twi ordered her to lie (so that Twi's order wins due to recency)? Or does "fully and descriptively" not cover "truthfully"?
6439992 Celestia gave that order about a thousand years ago, and it's why she answers questions fully in trance, and doesn't just say 'yes'.
Boo hiss at the decidedly unsympathetic Trixie portrayal, especially seeing as she's been effectively imprisoned for two months. She really ain't this bad, even less so when you compare it to what Twilight actually has done in this fic and Twilight certainly wasn't wearing a nasty corrupting artefact at the time.
Leaving that aside this fic continues to be an utter delight with some wonderful twists given the subject matter and I'm fascinated to see where it is going next.
6439582 I wouldn't mind a song piece, but maybe it'd fit better as just like a bonus chapter after the main fic is over? Just my first thought on the matter.
6439582 You shouldn't have Twilight singing, you should have Twilight command all her slaves to sing about being under the trance and loving it on Twilight's command as she watches her puppets dance in glee, I mean if you ever decide to go with something like that.
'Maybe a song piece twilight realize the spell ad after all this and is trying to make sure she a better person then the inventor of said spell and try to save Celestia from the corruption as well.
Alright, I'm mad. Fell asleep at around five in the morning finally while reading this chapter, and had a dream that could've helped you make another story like this, except mixed with a war, and twice as badass, but the dream has faded so much I can only remember scraps. Only real line I have burned in memory is Luna's perspective, where she was telling herself that she had to date the mare, no matter how funny the idea was to her, to make sure Celestial hadn't altered her with the spell. I THINK they had found a way to allow those who'd been affected by the spell to retain very important pieces of memories and feelings. That or it was because since Luna walks amonst dreams and the spells tendency to not cover those means she had a modicum of natural resistance which allows her to ignore memory commands if she really tries. That's my guess at least. Really irritating that's all I could remember by the time I found my phone to tell you.
I want to be upset with Twilight for charming Trixie the way she did, but she did agree to the terms Twi established (even though she was lying) and considering Trixie's intentions being what they were, it is understandable that Twilight would want to keep her close. If someone was that devoted to destroying me and everything I stood for and desired, I wouldn't want that person going around freely and keeping her on a short leash is preferable than letting her go.
I really do love how Trixie had the guts to try and do that. It's cowardly and more than a bit evil, but I cannot help but feel admiration for her attempt and intentions. Even still, I really enjoy her personality; easily surpassing Rarity for being my second favorite character in the story. She's ambitious, scheming, deceptive, vengeful, and a bit evil but all in an endearing way.
As for Twilight herself, it seems that her break from herself has done some good and that she is working up to redeeming herself. Especially with Luna at her side to keep watch over her. Sure she enthralled Trixie, but she is still trying to not be completely evil. Considering it took me around half of the story in to consider Twilight to be Evil, and only two chapters to make me consider Celestia to be an evil that has to be stopped, things may be looking up to have this story end with what can be a traditionally considered a "good" ending. But as I've said before, I am still completely fine with Twilight ending as the evil overlord, though that may be strained considering how things develop with Luna.
Try a ring gag, dear. Trixie can't keep her mouth shut anyhow, so why not humiliate her a bit by turning everything she says into drooling garble warble?
This chapter makes me curious about something. It's a possible plot oversight, though it doesn't necessarily affect the outcome of the story.
In Chapter 20 'On Reflection' Twilight recalls being 'awakened' by Celestia. She is instructed: "I've released the door. You will open it, and recite: 'Awaken. Act normally, stay here, and wait for further instructions.' Then you will speak the command to end their trance, close the door and return to me."
Twilight does so, presumably to prevent her friends from taking any action besides waiting at the door for her or for Celestia.
However, in this chapter's experiments with Trixie, we learn that charmed ponies cannot be triggered by a caster currently awakened. The awaken command simply has no effect unless the caster is in 'slumber' mode.
So Twilight would have gone to the door while awakened, said what she had been told to say, and the other ponies would have been left unentranced and free to act. How would they have responded to Twilight's odd behavior? Did anypony make a break for it?
Since Twilight does not recall being made to reprogram her friends, my assumption is that Celestia went and charmed them herself. Is this true? Did she have to chase them down? Was there a fight?
Just food for thought. I'm curious if the author has considered this.
For those who saw this unedited, I apologize for leaving spoilers. This should be fixed now.
6435214
Except that Trixie so enchanted and present is a comedy goldmine...
6452038 A wild plot hole appears!
Amended chapter twenty, by having Celestia do it herself. Really good spot, thank you!
6452958
Bummer, I kind of liked that part of the scene. Oh well. Can't wait for more.
6452958 I'm not convinced that a change was needed - the experiment only established that you can't awaken the person who awakened you while you're awakened. What happened earlier pre-retcon was that Celestia used Twilight to awaken the rest of the mane 6 - which is consistent if an awakened person can awaken others provided there's no loops involved - which also keeps things safe.