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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Annnd up into the feature box! Yay!
I feel like you're beating your estimated release dates by weeks.
Or mind controlling everyone to think you are...
6395564 Had a good day yesterday! Wrote six day's worth of scheduled writing in one afternoon.
MORE. MORE. MORE!!!
Fascinating plot developments, and it's interesting to see how quickly Celestia succumbs to old temptations. Now the only question is, how in the blue blazes does Twilight propose to catch Celestia this time?
6395564 Did...
Did we read the whole story already, and we just haven't realized it this whole time??!??!
...I need to go find my tinfoil hat.
At any rate, great chapter, Winter! I'm always excited to see a new chapter get posted from ya! Keep up the great work!
Incoming final battle, let's go.
Yay! My favorite! I have been eagerly awaiting this. I'm only sorry there wasn't more!
Take her down Twilight! Teach her what happens to creatures who strive for chaos/conquest/domination over you and your friends! I'm curious though, when Celestia remarked about telling Twilight about her hair in thousand or so years, was that just an offhand comment made in the moment, or does Celestia even now still have plans to ensure Twilight ascends? It's insignificant to the story, I know, but I couldn't help but to latch onto that. I suppose it's because I wonder if she still thinks Twilight has earned it/is still useful for saving Equestria from future threats. Of course, that also assumes you ascribe immortality to Twilicorn in the first place. Anyway, great chapter!
um, is the end of the battle the end of the book, or is it going to be going after
6395751
The show has not so much as hinted that their immortality has some source distinct from their Alicorn nature. Ironically it is Luna rather than Celestia who displays seemingly unique magic (dreams), but otherwise there is no indication beyond floaty hair that there is more to them than Cadance/Twilight.
Speaking of... I wonder where Cadance and Shining Armor will fit into this story.
And on a somewhat related note I found it funny that Luna had implied to Twilight that she needed no sleep but does in fact fall asleep in bed with her despite saying she wouldn't.
That morality, though.
Okay one little point of critique or maybe two.
The first is, the first few paragraphs, describing the situation and enviroment Twilight was in, was already covered in the previous chapter. That made the beginning a little weird and redundant.
The other one . . . Damn it! I forgot to mark the typos. Well I´ll get to those when this story is done, the hype is over and I can review it without interruptions.
And even though you managed the flashbacks just fine, I wouldn´t have needed the last three. After the beginning, walking through 6 naked guards, I would have slapped that aside, grabbed my mirror and said: "F*** this! Celesetia is going down!" Just a personal note.
6395778
True, and the show probably never will, nor should it. If they were to say with any certainty that Celestia, Luna, and Cadance were immortal, or that Twilight became immortal herself through magic, that would probably kick up a shitstorm with some parents, and maybe even bronies. On the other hand if they said that they weren't, it would be a gut punch to others. Leaving it to the viewer to decide is pretty much the best option. But for my part, I don't think it's unreasonable to notice a correlation between the fact that Celestia and Luna seem to be ageless, and the fact that they are both members of a rather exclusive club.
Not to mention that in many stories on this site, Alicorn Twilight being immortal seems to be a fairly common trope, which is closer to what I was referring to, rather than the actual source material. Of course, I have also read stories were Twilight as an alicorn still wasn't immortal. I have to admit though, I don't know what to make of Cadance in this regard. She did, after all, just sort of spring into existence one day with no prior mention of her. She also appeared to be younger in a flashback to Twilight's foalhood...
What was I talking about again?
6395841
Agreed. I know everything Celestia and Twilight have been doing is pretty much rape, but that came off as particularly rape-y.
Aw, I was hoping to see a full sex scene with Celestia. I really love these "you perceive everything as normal" scenes though; Applejack, Fluttershy, and now this, although Fluttershy's was the best.
6395881 My issue is not that it sounds more rape-y. Don´t get me wrong I am not on Twilight´s side here. Everything she did was wrong. Every argument about her behavior having developed out of a huge pile of accidents is invalid. My problem is that Celestia not even tries to resist. She had 1000 years to grow up and come to terms with living as an immortal.
I would kill myself if I ever found out age wouldn´t affect me, to be honest, but that is beside the point.
Sure she is now confronted with this all new temptation, but after living a thousand years, she could at least be that much in control not to pull in others just because she can. Those six guards really bothered me.
God damn! I love this story so much!
6395919
Well, I'm with you in that Twilight's excuses were always bullshit, though I am on her side in this story despite that, simply because I'm invested in her point of view. They're both perverted hypocrites of course. As to Celestia's lack of self control in particular, I was under the impression she mastered herself the first time when she had the effects and knowledge of the spell purged, with the obvious condition that should it be used against her, she'd remember. Now it's a combination of no longer being able nor willing to resist a second time, and the somewhat reasonable fear that this could happen again, if the spell were to ever again be discovered. Though that second bit might've just been a bit of flimsy justification on her part, I can't be sure.
For the maid scene, I knew Celestia had something to do with it! To war, my friends, and down with Celestia!
Well now, nothing to start the day like jerking off some mindcontrolled thralls and tossing yourself down the slippery slope.
(Darn, I love unaware hypnosis...)
6395950 To be honest, I wouldn´t use this to tkae advantage of anyone sexually. I would use this to make tons of money.
Of course this is flimsy. The only being old enough to even have the knowledge to put together such a spell is Discord. And I highly doubt that he will play a role in this story.
She should have burned the book when she was trying to purge it from existence. She had her failsafe build in with her immunity to it. That should have been enough, even without a switch to give her back her memories.
I know I am often rooting for the bad guys, but here, I hope Twilight just makes the right choice to do what Celestia couldn´t and in the end mens-up to get what she wants the old-fashioned way.
Of course I wouldn´t mind some Twixie before that
I smell a battle brewing, between Celestia and her charmed and Twilight and her charmed friends.
I only have one complaint about this.
I wish the Twilights merging part went further than it did. That said, it was still super awesome.
In case you haven't noticed, I long ago ran out of constructive things to say about this story. At this point, I'm just along for the ride.
And I couldn't be more content. :D
6396122 I honestly hope that it goes on for a good deal longer. I really enjoy the slow burn the plot has been taking.
Shit's gonna go down now!
Someone asked about what would happen if two people who had charmed one another awakened one another at the same time.
Well I think I've figured it out. Essentially, they -would- sit there just staring at one another forever.. if allowed too.
However, just like how Luna, Zecora and the rest of the Mane Six would, if contacted from far away and told to come to Twilight, -seem- totally rational and aware but just driven too come rapidly to her presence, if you simply pulled the two individuals far enough apart, they would both come back into their senses.
However, they'd still be driven to quickly come back into eachother's presence as fast as possible, meaning you'd have to go to extreme efforts to both keep them apart, -and- convince them somehow to listen to reason.
This chapter was surprisingly straightforward. Still good, though I had hoped Twilight had been taken advantage of by other members of Ponyville. Ah well, onto Twilight bulldozing her way to victory/sex/victory-sex.
I think Twilight has been converted from Lawful Good at the start (before ever using The Charm) to Lawful Neutral when she was first studying the charm and using it on more ponies than just AJ. When she started imagining herself as Empress Twilight she'd basically gone Lawful Evil. When she discovered Luna had been Charmed by Celestia she went to Neutral Evil. When she was Charmed she was forced to a True Neutral state. Now that she's relearned all this history I believe she's reached Chaotic Neutral with a heavy risk of returning to the Evil side of the Good vs. Evil Axis.
If she does go Chaotic Evil she'll have been 8 out of 9 possible alignments. The only one she'll have missed being Chaotic Good.
I know you ended the chapter before she could really do anything, but instead of saying 'right' I would have thought that the first thing she would do is cast the charm on Trixie. Because until she does and wipes Trixie's memory of the charm, she is the most insecure thing about her situation.
Also, if I recall correctly, Zecora heard someone approach the door to the bedroom. What if Twilight was too late and Celestia had already discovered Zecora before she got back home?
This was pretty much what I was hoping for and you even managed to squeeze a tiny bit of Twilight selfcest in there and for that you have my eternal gratitude!
I guess it's a good thing that Twilight doesn't know about the possibility of becoming an alicorn or she might finally have to realize there is no moral high ground for her, only a series of sand traps. I'll be a bit sad if Twi doesn't become an alicorn in this universe but if that's how it has to be for her to feel morally superior then alright.
Anyways Twilight has finally accepted the fact that she will totally abuse the charm and she'll do so until she dies! Now Darth Twilight strike down Trixie and your path to the dark side will be complete, muahahaha!
6396999
It's possible that once she has Celestia and Luna both under her thrall, they might work together to ensure that their Mistress never dies.
Celestia tricked Twilight into becoming an Alicorn in the normal-verse, so why not in this 'verse as well? Just because she'd be mind-enslaved doesn't mean that she wouldn't be capable of worrying for Twilight or acting independently in some regards. She'd totally work for the benefit of her beloved Empress, even if she had to do so in secret.
Okay, that wasnt what I expected to happen in the chapter^^ And it totally ruined my own little theory about who's the "villain" here... but it was still a very interesting read^^ God to know that Twilight isnt the only one who knows shes too weak to resist using the spell^^
6395763 6396122 6396246 Let's see, what can I say without spoilers. There's a definite arc underway, and the story does have an end. It's not going to be in the next couple of chapters though, I have plenty of events left to work through. Eventually, when we do reach the end, I'm quite likely to tack on a couple of bonus chapters as well to further explore the aftermath. I guess we're not ending anytime soon!
Is just me who read celestia with the voice of nightmare moon?
Aww, that first scene with Celestia and the 'date' just breaks my heart. It's like a single, bittersweet glimpse of an entirely different story where the Celestia and Twilight could have been happy together if the charm had never been. But, such a world will never be, the charm's existence demands that they be adversaries until one wins it all.
Yeah, good idea! What would Rainbow do?
Shit, never mind, bad idea!
This killed me, that was absolutely hilarious.
Celestia made Cheerilee teach Twilight a fictional story as history? The horror!
Okay, Celestia has gone too far this time. She needs to go down.
There can be only one.
That bit of Twilight/Twilight dialogue at the end gave me shivers. Great way to end the chapter.
6395751
I would imagine that Celestia still intends to 'Upgrade' Twilight into an alicorn Princess. This story takes place after the first couple episodes of S3, which means events are already in motion towards introducing Twilight to Starswirl's unfinished spell (at the ending of the S3 premier, we briefly see Luna holding the book of spells). Whether all alicorns are immortal is still up in the air though.
Now, whether Twilight will be satisfied with a mortal existence once she has all of the Princesses under her control is another matter entirely. Personally, I think she'll eventually make Celestia and Luna grant her immortality and all the powers that that entails. It would be embarrassing, after all, for an Empress to be less powerful than her subordinates.
6395896
Those are my favorite, too.
6397018
That sounds like the most likely way things will go down.
"Oh, Empress, I've got a surprise for you~! Just stand over there on that big red X."
I've got my fingers crossed for a charmed Trixie, she'd look good as a footstool or coat rack lol.
That chapter was just perfect.
The way that Celestia dismissed the idea of a romantic relationship with Twilight after Twilight made one mistake really upset me. I really dislike people who lose all respect for you after one screw-up, and this just furthers my desire for Celestia not only to be enslaved by Twilight, but to be put into a particularly uncomfortable position as a slave.
Honestly, at this point I don’t really care who’s going to win. At the end of the day, both Twilight and Celestia used that spell on people who trusted them and abused them for selfish reasons. At least Twilight acknowledged that she’s only doing it for herself because she wants to be the controller and not the toy.
Oh my gods! Again! How do you keep doing it, you freaking glorious bastard?!
Twice now I have found this story to come to a point where I thought, "This would make a good ending." Not that I wanted them to end there, but they could have, and left anything that came after up to the imagination of the readers. But you didn't. You kept going. I had another thought at both of those points, "Man, but if he does keep going, he'll probably reach a point where the story just isn't that good anymore, where he's pushing himself to do it because others want it, not because he feels there's still more story in him." That was a serious worry of mine, and I've seen professional writers fall into this trap, not to mention a bunch of authors on this site.
So how? HOW DO YOU DO IT?!? This freaking awesome story with the clopping that still gets me going on re-reads, and you keep making it better?!
.... How?
The worst part of this is I'm NOT a fan of mind-control. At all. That tingly feeling Twilight keeps talking about? Nothing. No effect on me. But oh my gods! The things she does! And has them do! So yeah, I came for the clop, and honestly the first thing that put this story in my viewing was a routine search for "anthro/sex." I stayed because the writing was miles above the average found here. I desperately checked near-daily for updates because THIS STORY HAS TAKEN OVER MY LIFE!!! The twists and turns, the mind-trips and mind-fucks, and worst of all how every damn part of it is so plausible! You, sir, are amazing on so many levels, but the part that really makes me want to bow down in homage to you is that you get the characters. Not one pony in here behaves in a way that I find to be totally out of character. And that's just freaking amazing, because this scenario could not get any farther from the usual source material.
And I have to warn you, I withheld my comments before because as amazing as this story was, just being able to make comments wasn't a sufficient reason for me to register with the site. Now that other, totally unrelated things have forced my hand, be prepared for a blizzard of comments for my intention is to go back and re-read the entire story (for, like, the 11th or 12th time) and post a comment on each chapter detailing how I felt at each twist and turn, for there is FAR too much to cover in just one lonely comment box.
And still, how do you do it?!? I don't even LIKE mind control stuff, yet it's happening all over the place in this story, and it's like I just don't care....
... oh, crap. You got to me too, didn't you? Is it a subliminal message in the first chapter? The story description?! Are you going to change my thoughts again as soon as I fini-...
Yes, a lovely story for all to enjoy, sir. Have a nice day, sir. I look forward to seeing you again.
The YouTube playlist I was listening to rather appropriately began to play "I'm My Own Master Now" as I was reading this. I do not know if there could be a better choice of music to listen to.
This chapter rather horrified me, but in a good way. It really goes to show that as corrupt as Twilight is, Celestia is worse and will be worse for far longer than Twilight can. Celestia has to go down.
I feel tricked. I went into this story thinking it would be just an interesting little diversion, I didn't think so much heavy and creepy dramatic stuff would happen, but now it's too late to leave since I've been pulled in enough to where I have to see this finished. The scene with the soldiers somehow unsettled me more so than the Cheerilee one and it wasn't even as graphic. Here's to hoping Twilight comes out on top, I don't think I could handle a bad ending where Celestia wins.
That was fun, may I have another? Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
6402812 more than likely, its the very Charm this story talks about...the only problem is, we have no idea who all has be Awakened to liking the story, and we have no control at all...oh well, when in Rome...
6415240 Molestia lol that's a really good name for her at the moment lol
This was well worth all the time I spent reading it tonight.
the scene where Celestia brought in the guards was the first time I've felt angry while reading this fic. Huh.
Good morning, everypony! Chapter 22 of Friendship is Mind Control will be released today at 6 pm GMT, 7 pm British Summer Time.
6429733 Going all kinds of fanboy on this one!
Well, there was most of the answers I was still waiting for. As it happens, I DID notice in the earlier chapter how Twilight mentioned her sex being shaved, and had wondered when that happened.
Really, REALLY wanted the next chapter to hurry up since this was a very unsatisfactory place to be left off at. That and I still had one major question left: Did Celestia ever focus Luna during all this?