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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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There are no brakes on the Twislavement train.
No Brakes! No Brakes!
This is like watching a trainweck. Just to be clear: I mean the effect, not the writing.
No, not a trainwreck. That's like, bam! and then it's over. This is more like watching a bulldozer coming at you through a very narrow street. Slowly.
One of my favourite aspects of the story so far is the level to which these artificially induced states feel natural! You can see it with Rarity. Leave gaps in her conditioning and her mind will fill them somehow. It's something evolving, actions and commands have consequences and ponies have lives outside Twilight's happy place. They feel alive and growing, and the mind effects grow with them. Twilight testing the boundaries of the spell also feels quite fitting!
I wonder how Spike would react if he knew what Twilight's about to do. Well, he's not around and won't be for some time. Humm, I pretty much expect Twilight to try to find out her other friends' sexual orientations as well. Maybe even before deciding to make them her permanent slaves. I mean, she's already not really caring with either Applejack or Rarity—who are both straight—so I could see that being an important factor pushing her into it. Frustration and exasperation at how her friends aren't attracted to her as she is to them, like it happened with Applejack.
Oh, that's another point right there! Twilight might want to find out if Applejack now considers herself straight, bi, gay, or simply Twilight-sexual. Let's not forget, Applejack and Rarity actually like the D. Whether or not that changed will be an indicator for how deep her control truly is. Plus, well, I'd personally still like to see Twilight host a party where little Applejack can have studs use her like in her fantasies as a gift^^
The hill is at its peal its time to slide down into debauchery!
I'm looking forward to Rarity's reaction to being 'chosen' I guess, but I'm mainly looking forward to the inevitable discovery by her other friends. Not because I want them enchanted but because I want to see how this will get undone, as I'm sure it will.
This is going to,get kinky... And it's like watching a snowball roll down a hill... I wonder what it'll hit
i would like her to try the spell on someeone totaly unwilling, hoping it would fail
As it is I wonder if Twilight could just tell Rarity to be her slave without actually using the spell, she seems perfectly accepting of Twilights need for control so if Twilight just asked I feel like Rarity would just accept it.
5476024 isn't that what just happend to Rarity in the last chapter?
after all she realized that Applejack was under the spell and by the glow of Twilight she might guessed that it was the spell that she used the spell in Applejack.
I must say I really like how Rarity behaves in this. Though she is in an altered state, due to her instructions and her mind's own reasoning, it feels natural, and that feeling of it being natural is what makes it so contrasting since the readers know of the alteration. Her conversations with Twi and her friends really show an interesting case, she is herself yet subtly different because of how she views what's going on with Twi.
It also seems that Twi is really digging her own grave here. First her curiosity get's to her, then Rarity's encouragement, now Applejack is pushing her further in. Let's just hope she stops herself from jumping off the slippery slope down past the moral event horizon.
Well, this isn't tagged 'Dark' yet... Who knows how this will end. Not... Sure how to feel about the concept, though. There's something really unsettling there. The spell does not enforce things as much as blend them in. If one is to remove the effect completely, what will remain?
On a side note, I'm honestly suprised Pinkie didn't react to the situation somehow. The 'they'll marry and leave us' nonwithstanding. Quite underwhelming from... pretty much omniscient being. Would it mean she doesn't see it wrong?
On another side note... I actually do see a 'good' ending here. Maybe a bit on the gray scale side, but certainly not pitch-black darkness. Long as the hope remains, this will be interesting.
5475238 calm down, Ray .
She forgot to try having one of them say a keyword to the other while neither are in trance, didn't she?
5475403
It's already bitten Applejack in the ass youknowhatI'msayin.
31.media.tumblr.com/ab4e19b4c0467b4a05a3ab70445bee39/tumblr_inline_ne9r2jxAPa1se8uxx.gif
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I am really interested in if Twilight will let Rarity know about her enslavement before being awakened.
"Actually, Rarity, you've been under my control for a few days now!"
"Really?!"
"Oh yeah! In fact, it's only due to my control that you have been under the impression that this is all perfectly normal!"
And then Rarity still isn't bothered because her conditioning makes it "normal" for Twilight to have manipulated her into being a willing accomplice.
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Agreed, the characterization and behaviors are very well-done. It all feels very natural, and that's the best part, because it's so completely unnatural. The charm's effects are all very insidious.
I have this horrible feeling that when this all blows up in Twilight's face, and she's sobbing in front of Celestia, ready to take whatever punishment is deemed appropriate for her little mind-control rape spree, the first thing Celestia will say is:
"Twilight? Awaken."
5477365 Ditto. That would be... almost expected, but definitely deserving a 'Dark' tag.
5477365
That gave me shivers.
5477775
Same here. Possibly even with a follow up lament that Luna wins their bet (that Twi would go this way) again?
I like!
It's just a matter of time before everypony is Twisexual!
(Ooooh... warped thought.
Spike: "Twilight, I'm home!"
Twi: "Great! Come upstairs, I have a present for you!"
Spike: "What is it?" *opens door to see Rarity in Princess fetish wear*
Rarity: "Why, me, Master! Do you approve?"
Spike: "SPIKE WANT!"
And that's how Ponyville became a dragon brothel....)
Place a guess, Good ending or bad ending. (By bad I mean go full batshit crazy and good is not doing that.)
I'm enjoying this for the clop as much as I'm enjoying it for how much thought is put into how the spell works. Clop and consideration of in-world mechanics! Fantastic
This is some good stuff. Loving it so far!
I kind of expected Twilight to force Rarity to watch, I was a bit startled that Twilight let her leave.
The possibilities of what she could do with this spell is endless, she could make someone get insanely horny if she clapped, get her friends to expose their darkest secrets, or even get someone to masturbate in front of her without realizing it.
5475240 - Twisexual. XD
Applejack's concern for Rarity's feelings is adorable. In a rather strange way.
I absolutely love this story. It's a good clop, wonderfully written and Twilight's conflict between choosing what she wants and what is right is not only interesting, but also believable. I wonder what plans you have for these characters, especially for Twilight and AJ. While reading it I thought about all the fetishes you might use. If I could suggest something - it would be interesting if you considered pet play. More precisely, pony play, though I'm not sure if we can call it that, considering that they ARE ponies.
yes YES this is fucking gold XD , booo there's only 1 more chapter currently made though :c .....
5475238
That's... a word?
Rainbow gave her a sceptical look, but held up her hands. "Okay, okay. I'll hold it in."
You be missing a K in skeptical.
"I'll help her into it, of course. You must see only the finished vision." Rarity declared, gesturing grandly with her cup
Pretty sure vision is 'sposed to be version.
Okay, so this chapter made me less confident in my theory about how simple the counter could be. But I absolutely love this so far! It's so tragic, yet alluring! I'm almost afraid to keep going, for fear of witnessing the backlash... Almost...
wouldn´t it be easier to gasp out words?
So the main thing in this chapter was how in character everyone was. It's the first time we have all six girls around and conversing, and the characters feel spot on, especially Pinkie. And doing Pinkie right is harder than you first think! So this was the first point where I thought, "Wow! This Wintermist is a really good writer."
That was epicly funny.
It's lines like these that make me appreciate the effort going into this, this IS another mind control fic, but the characters feel in character and Applejack is still the same she's always been, she just desperatly needs to be controlled by Twilight.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/33893/tarnished-silver
The next morning.
"Hey Rarity! I've come to make you my next sex slave!
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4554-my_body.JPG
This chapter's title is way too innocent.
It just strikes me as odd that (and I've been thinking this since the first chapter or two) that Twilight never thought of issuing the command of "You will no longer react to me ordering you to awaken. You will no longer react to any triggers I have given you, nor will you remember doing anything that you wouldn't have normally done before I first cast the spell on you." and spend some time confirming the story of everything AJ's mind was making up to fill in the gaps before commanding her to slumber once more.
If successful, AJ would return to normal, have no memory of the events, and Twilight would know how her mind was filling in the blanks and would be able to play along, all while the command of no longer reacting to "Awaken" keeping her from causing further damage, as since Twilight would no longer be able to awaken her, she would also no longer be able to issue new commands. In this way, AJ would TECHNICALLY still be under the effects of the spell, possibly for the rest of her life, BUT it would be in such a way that she could no longer be manipulated as a result.
Of course, I realize that this would make for a very short story, and for the sake of the story I'm glad she didn't, but still...
[EDIT] *Facepalm*
I actually wrote that before finishing the chapter. Then a few paragraphs down I see why it would never have worked. Awkward timing, that.
7118214 that is so wrong yet so funny.
The sex is fun, but I think the rationalizations are my favorite parts. There's just something about the compulsion to willful obedience that's just somehow endearing. Its the perspective of the subjects being controlled, I'm starting to realize, is what really elevates a mind control story.
This fic is now my new favorite clop fic. The way the mind control elements are used are simply awesome. I can't wait to see what happens next.
5478405
There is porn of that
Dis is gonna get baaaaad.
Poo, fan. Fan, poo.
So Rarity is just talking to the other 3 like it's nothing, normal, etc.
And Twilight ... I really think this spell is affecting her. Between "instinctively" casting the charm on Rarity, and now as soon as Applejack makes the suggestion, she is going to full-charm Rarity ... yea, I think this spell is a two-way thing, just weaker on the backchannel.
Which brings up some questions: Who came up with this, and why? Why was it put into that book she read in the first place? To what extent did it behave as expected vs being unfinished -- and did the original maker have a counter spell?
7429956
Yeah if the author ever finishes the sequel then she might want to make a counter spell.
5477365
5477413
5478405
All told, I think it's pretty interesting how close you all were to how the first half of the first story ends. (I've often thought that this story is basically Code Geass plus well-done porn.)
I especially love the use of "again" there :-)
NOT ALLOWED dumps corruption kink juice all over Twilight