- Member Since 2nd Nov, 2012
- offline last seen March 14th
sun tzu
Writer of "Saga of Soul" and "Where I Watch: My Little Pony"
sun tzu
Joined 2nd Nov, 2012 ·
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It's kind of a difference to see the mind control story start out with Twilight not mind-controlling someone first. :) I do like how you've tied it to her history... I'm interested in seeing what's next.
This is actually a really nice description of Mind Control Fetish in general.
You have my attention.
This looks really promising.
I'm actually happy that Twilight understands that non-consenual hypnosis is very morally wrong. It's also very refreshing to see something where the whole thing is explained.
at first you had my curiosity, sir. But now you have my attention.
Okay, yes, I want to see more of this.
I am starting to wonder if there even is a dom!Rainbow fiction out there, or if it is a strange exception to Rule 34.
6884183 oh...there is..in fact, one got featured not even a week ago
6884278 which one is that?
6884336 https://www.fimfiction.net/story/309621/the-perils-of-pornographic-paperwork
I like where this is going...
*pulls up a bed and hides in the covers* I now watch this VERY intently!
Please continue this. This is actually a very nice idea and for somebody like me, who has a big hypnofetish, this presses all the right buttons.
I was almost expecting Cadance's decision to reveal some of her friends' fetishes to be because Twilight had just subtly used mind control on her. Wouldn't be in-character, but that would have been a pretty epic twist. :P
Celestia.... ever the observant pony^^ Who else to realise what Twilights kink is than her?^^ I can already tell that this will be a pretty damn good read^^
6885109 and I think it also describes really well how most people with a hypnofetish feel about it. I can tell that this wont be just another every-day hypno clop fic^^ Me gusta mucho
Also... I really do like the idea ofRarity being a switch.
*Did you mean to say "more"? Because World Wide Web doesn't really strike me as sinister.
>>Wintermist Coming from you, that's encouraging. I doubt I can match the awesomeness of your Friendship Is Mind Control, but it's the story that inspired me to write this.
>>duke86fan I'll try to be quick about updating... But, between "Where I Watch: My Little Pony", my "Worm" fanfics, and "Saga of Soul", I'm juggling a lot of projects.
>>Artemis Fowl II Imagine a giant spiderweb that covers the entire planet. Sounds sinister enough yet?
Consider me intrigued with this story. I'm looking forward to more.
Also, at the start of the chapter, you wrote that Cadance was Twilight's 'step-sister', when she's actually Twilight's sister-in-law. A step-sister would be someone who is the daughter of someone your parent (mother or father) remarried after separating from your other parent.
6888405 Whoops. Fixed. Thanks!
Hey, Twilight can moonlight on the side of her Princessly duties by running a fetish matchmaking service in the name of 'spreading friendship'!
You have my curiosity.
Rainbow Dash likes being a sub (no surprise there), Fluttershy wants to be a dom (but is too shy to even fantasize about it) and Rarity can be either/or (depending on the pony). I want what Applejack's and Pinkie Pie's fetishes are?
You're doing a pretty solid job with this one, my cultured author
6884126
Janger Unchange
6899022
(These are just my ideas) Maybe Applejack has a bondage fetish and wants to be coiled up by a snake/Lamia while hypnotized, so Twilight transforms into one. I know, some might not like the concept, but it's an idea. :P
6899022 It's not written in stone, but for the sake of this story, I picture Applejack as "purely vanilla, not interested in the weird stuff", and Pinkie Pie as "I'll try anything once!".
6899493 I can see that. makes sense.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Sorry, uh, its just Rainbow is really cute here. ^^
Aww, so unless Twi is wrong about her sexual orientation, we're not going to see Twi and Dash slowly fall in love while doing kinky mind control. Oh well, still good.
The last spell seems familiar
Excellent chapter.
Looking how Twilight has (controlled) fun with her friends is something I like to read...
But, how long will this (probably?) last?
Loving this so far. Is it going to stick to slice of life sexy shenanigans, or is there a deeper plot planned? Either is great; just curious.
Would be pretty funny if Fluttershy was the one to go villainously mad with power.
I'm really rather enjoying this for its refreshing consensual-ness. Well, among other reasons.
That was a very sweet chapter, way to ho dude.
If I may add, since you're quite into Discussion of the eethics of this relationships, it could be worth adding something on some sort of safety features that would reduce the risks of abuse by Twilight, accudentql or otherwise.
I see a nice running gag starting there^^ I look forward to see more of it in future chapters^^
Very nice beginning, handled quite discretely and wisely by Celestia.
Damned nice to see the characters in-character and not doing a 'Clockwork Orange' here. ;) Also, Shining Armor and Cadance there, too damned funny. :D Excellent work!
Great job, I loved the back and forth between Twi's and Rainbow's perspective, both were really interesting in their own ways. But I have to wonder if the last spell Twilight used can really be legal, because it seems like it can be easily abused. I think that's also something worthy of exploring a little more: How strong are illegal mind control-spells in Equestria, and will Twilight dare to cast them?
Again, really enjoying this so far, and I'm looking forward to more
Not gonna lie. I laughed my butt off at this part. :p First time for everything, Twilight? ;) But most/all kidding aside, again, very well-written. Quite hot, too. It's nice when it's in-character. :) As for proofreading, I'm near-certain I can help out next time.
Wonderful characterization of the characters again in this chapter, and true to the originals. (Especially after reading several other stories lately that started strong in that regard and then took the p... plunge.)
I also love all the little jokes and details. And I even spent a couple minutes just picturing Twilight's next meet-up with their friends, tearing apart the techniques in that book on seduction with them.
The experimentation begins!
The tension between Rainbow Dash's strong self image and kink is interesting. She's more easily embarrassed under these circumstances than I think she would be generally, because of the slight shame she feels about these desires. A lot of the chapter, she's a little scared and definitely conflicted, but being brave and putting up a front.
Twilight, on the other hand, is trying to be careful. She has procedures - every iteration of Twilight has safety procedures of some kind, I think. Their effectiveness may vary. She's researched, understood the way that attractiveness changes when overlaid with her kink, and it's interesting to see her separation of romance vs. attraction. I do wonder whether it will shift with time. The list of symptoms of arousal she unreels is super appropriate.
Despite her preparation, however, I think she messes this up quite a bit. Twilight pushes Rainbow very quickly across a real range of emotions, from slightly embarrassing to - in some ways - deeply humiliating, making her pretty emotionally vulnerable. Darn it Twilight. You should have been frank before making her obsessed with your body. That was not playing fair.
Overall, I think it shook out okay, but Twilight definitely got too impatient for serious progress. She should have used a few gentle things that didn't involve focusing Rainbow on worshipping her, then given Rainbow time to process the experience before calling her back another day and having a frank talk. Luckily, it went well in the end.
Other notes: Even ponies have pick up artists. Bleg. Crystal Skull joke! Hadn't thought of the want-it, need-it spell cast on a pony before. Better make sure you're alone with someone, because multiple people getting that way over a single pony could go really bad. Rainbow is surprisingly okay with a harem. Wonder who else might be pulled into this, if anyone.
Finally, that focalization charm. This is known enough to be tried at school by average unicorns and isn't illegal? I can only imagine it's not illegal to use on yourself, but uses of it on other ponies is restricted, else there are going to be cults all over Equestria where unicorns have used it to dominate everypony around them. Unless ponies in general are just good people and it takes a super-rare pony like Starlight Glimmer to actually abuse it. I'm interested to see if we get any further detail on that.
6905766 While this fic was definitely inspired by Wintermist's "Friendship Is Mind Control" (which I cannot recommend enough), this particular spell wasn't, really. I mean, it's basically "insta-hypnotic trance with magically supercharged suggestibility" - fairly vanilla stuff for a mind-control story.
6909043 1)Yeah, I was definitely going for a "Rainbow Dash's self-image clashing with her submissive desires" angle.
2)Twilight absolutely screwed up in a couple of ways, which I figured was almost inevitable - I mean, this is her first attempt at seducing someone. I figure shenanigans are to be expected. XD
3)Want-It-Need-It being cast on another pony? Wellll...
4)On the hypnotic charm: Remember, Twilight went to a school for magical prodigies. I figure the overwhelming majority of unicorns can't cast anything like it (heck, I don't think most unicorns can do any magic beyond telekinesis and their one signature spell. Rarity can't, as far as we can tell). And I figure there are general catch-all laws against magical abuse.
What I am enjoying about this is that unlike most stories like this you aren't just being explicit, you actually have a story going and the focus (at least currently, don't know what your plans are) is on the hypnosis and not the sex
6944722 Truth be told, I tend to be borderline-asexual outside of the fetish. I find sex itself less attractive than the mind-control aspect. XD
6945964
The fetish is definitely what I'm after in these stories. Sex is just one interesting activity to do with it.
6945964 ...Are we related by any chance? Because that is very similar to how I feel about such things.
6945964
That's pretty similar to my own feelings. And hearing it makes me only looking forward to the next chapter more.
(Also, I think Rarity is actually a lot more of a magic prodigy than she lets on. She can levitate dozens of fabrics around without getting them tangled, and we've seen her use a spell to fix a cart wheel, for example... whether that's just her natural aptitude or also Twilight's influence is up to interpretation)
Masterful!
Mr. Author, you've done something I've been trying to do for years; you just wrote a gateway fic powerful enough to give me a fetish I didn't have before I started reading it. God damn, I'm going to be spending the next week trying to figure out how you did it. If you happen to have any pointers about that in general, I'd love to hear them; "write a fetish fic that can give people a fetish" is the highest aspiration I have for my own writing.