Love, Interrupted By A Thousand Years

Uz Naimat #1 · Oct 5th, 2023 · 13 · 2 · Love ·

Absolutely beautiful.

This is so good. One of the best romance stories here on this site. The evolution of Flashʼs and Properʼs relationship in the first chapter, their heartbreak an utter sorrow in the second, and sweet, satisfying reunions in the third.

Phenomenonal stuff as always, TCC56. All the best for the contest!

EileenSaysHi

EileenSaysHi #2 · Oct 5th, 2023 · 14 · 2 · Love ·

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Feels safe to say this will be the entry to beat for this contest. Damn good work.

ThatBatJess

ThatBatJess #3 · Oct 6th, 2023 · 10 · 2 · Love ·

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What a wonderful story! Excellent work ❤️

TitaniumTao

TitaniumTao #4 · Oct 6th, 2023 · 6 · 2 · Love ·

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Great Golly did this make me tear up and smile. Loved it.

Mix-up

Mix-up #5 · Oct 6th, 2023 · 5 · 2 · Love ·

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Nice whimsical stylistic writing used, I loved Proper Portal's design in his mail pony uniform. Great story dude keep it up.

TCC56

TCC56 #6 · Oct 6th, 2023 · 13 · 2 · Love ·

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11714457
It's weird being the first one out of the gate for a contest. But also kinda fun? Being able to go 'come at me' feels neat, and I'm looking forward to see who gets over the bar I set.

lucifyrfallen

lucifyrfallen #7 · Oct 6th, 2023 · 12 · 2 · Love ·

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there's something just so... satisfying about a romance story being short and sweet, and i definitely shed a few tears

it's a ship that doesn't have any weight in canon but yet, i yearn for more. i really really really like your writing style, and i hope you continue to write more beautiful stories!

NueGirl

NueGirl #8 · Oct 6th, 2023 · 9 · 2 · Love ·

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Ah there's always something so nice about lovers finding each other again despite seemingly impossible odds

I love the rest of your stories and this is no different, good luck in the contest!

a creature

a creature #9 · Oct 6th, 2023 · 4 · 2 · Love ·

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excellent words thank you for them

NightFlame389

NightFlame389 #10 · Oct 6th, 2023 · 1 · 7 · Interruption ·

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Flash Magnus should have been the first one to disappear

When Celestia and Luna fought Sombra, they were basically the same sizes as they are now, but Starswirl mentioned they grew a lot in between the Pillars going to limbo and their return

Just a nitpick

TDR

TDR #11 · Oct 6th, 2023 · 5 · 3 · Love ·

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M4M is not really my thing, but I do love the plot hook of time displacement.

evelili

evelili #12 · Oct 6th, 2023 · 8 · 2 · Love ·

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this is incredibly well done, my gosh. the concept!! the tragedy!!! their undying hope and the way love bent the rules a bit for them to be together in the end!!!! this was such a sweet read and has touched my heart so deeply; i rlly hope to see this place high in the contest, if not win it entirely ^^ amazing work!

Daedalus Aegle

Daedalus Aegle #13 · Oct 7th, 2023 · 5 · 2 · Love ·

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Excellent

Llyander

Llyander #14 · Oct 7th, 2023 · 2 · 2 · Love ·

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Short and sweet. Thoroughly enjoyed it

Savant Sentral

Savant Sentral #15 · Oct 7th, 2023 · 3 · 2 · Love ·

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this is so cute i love it aaa

Thought Prism

Thought Prism #16 · Oct 8th, 2023 · 7 · 1 · Love ·

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Cadance kinda stole the show at the end there for me.

Keepcalmandcupcakes

Keepcalmandcupcakes #17 · Oct 9th, 2023 · 1 · 1 · Love ·

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Adorable

axxuy

axxuy #18 · Oct 10th, 2023 · 4 · 2 · Love ·

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First of all, props for using Proper Postal. He's a background character I've had my eye on. And I quite liked Flash Magnus' dialogue. It had a distinct flavor to it without ever being obscure.

Also it occurs to me that an olive tree lives a long time and could last that whole thousand years just as well as their love

spoonlol

spoonlol #19 · Oct 10th, 2023 · 2 · 2 · Love ·

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A lot of ponies are gunna freak out when they open their doors for a letter only to see Cadance.
This was a beautiful little story, very nicely done

Gavier

Gavier #20 · Oct 11th, 2023 · 3 · 2 · Love ·

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Very sweet, very good. It had been a long while since last a fic made me cry

Leventego

Leventego #21 · Oct 14th, 2023 · 1 · 1 · Love ·

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This is was so sweet I was literally giggling and kicking my feet while reading

Leventego

Leventego #22 · Oct 14th, 2023 · 1 · 1 · Love ·

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This was one of the beautiful fics I've ever read and it was only 5k words
I would love to see some sort of follow up to their romance, but this story is perfect either way.

P.S Whoever keeps disliking the comments should swallow a cactus.

TCC56

TCC56 #23 · Oct 14th, 2023 · 4 · 1 · Love ·

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11721759

P.S Whoever keeps disliking the comments should swallow a cactus.

I honestly find it pretty funny. It's such a sad statement about somebody (and probably their alt) that I can't help but laugh at them.

Reily

Reily #24 · Oct 17th, 2023 · 1 · 1 · Love ·

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Excellent job on the story. :)

mm3100

mm3100 #25 · Oct 22nd, 2023 · 1 · 1 · Love ·

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This was amazing. Took me by surprise, loved it all, from the way they spoke to their simple dreams. Lovely story, great work.

alafoel

alafoel #26 · Oct 26th, 2023 · 4 · 1 · Love ·

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Then there was the soft touch of a primary feather on cheek-fur and the ghost was real.

There is something really special about this line, able to make some abstract, impossible concept so simple and understandable in just four words. The ghost was real. It's really good.

AltruistArtist

AltruistArtist #27 · Dec 6th, 2023 · 3 · · Love ·

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You paired a fantastic concept with a beautiful execution, amazing work.

There's a lovely mythic quality to the first section that makes Flash and Proper's lives at that time genuinely feel like it's taking place in a foregone era. I think a lot of this comes from how their love of one another extends into the associated love for one another's cultures. It sets such a beautiful tone after Flash's description of the many forms of love; we get to see them move through eros to xenia as they prepare to build a life and home together. I love thematic details like this and you gave me enough to feast on to rival Proper and his grove of olive trees! I'll be thinking about this story for a while.

TCC56

TCC56 #28 · Dec 6th, 2023 · 2 · · Love ·

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11768224

There's a lovely mythic quality to the first section that makes Flash and Proper's lives at that time genuinely feel like it's taking place in a foregone era.

This is one of the parts that made it fun to write. Getting that vibe down took some work, but it really made it sing to me.

I'm glad you enjoyed!

Bicyclette

Bicyclette #29 · January 15th · 1 · · Love ·

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Their arrival was greeted with joy by the crystal ponies - Princess Amore herself welcomed the delegation. Among her honor guard was Proper Postal, pressed into action at the last moment. The Crystal Empire had few guards as the Heart's magic protected them, so she had brought other ponies of the government to stand beside her. He would only be able to serve for the morning, lest his afternoon rounds of delivering the mail be late - but he took position without complaint at his Princess' orders.

aww lovely little bit of worldbuilding! Proper Postal and Flash Magnus are from two different worlds in multiple ways

"But even moreso, you are cousins. A harsh lesson was taught to us not long ago that we are ponies rather than just pegasi. Yet we have no records of you. No stories. You are a mystery, and knowledge is the most valuable ally of all."

really love this, feels like a line from a historical epic about the early days of Equestria

Deep in Proper's breast, a trace of the Heart's warm light burned.

love using bits of the setting like this as alternate ways to describe a common thing, really feels immersive

So Flash tried to elaborate. "It is said there are six types of love, like there are different kinds of flowers. What you likely think of as love, we describe with the old Pegasopolian word éros. It's romantic love; love of passion and beauty, not merely physically but from heart to heart and soul to soul."

love that Pony Greek is Pegasopolian! and of course the classification of love is a great thing to bring into a world where love is literally energy

Proper stayed silent, eyes firmly locked ahead at the snows.

that says it all doesn’t it?

And Flash Magnus answered. "If to speak of philia between us would make my heart light, then éros would allow it to soar."

damn that is smooth! zero notes for Flash here

"But such must be mutual," Flash continued, words coming quick and almost apologetic. "Shared between souls éros is a thing of great beauty; alone it is the source of many of the greatest tragedies."

so true

"So it shall be," gently declared Flash before their lips met.

love this melding of Greek epic vibes and shipfic beats

Food crossed both ways - gifts of berries and fruits in great variety. Exotic breads baked over heated crystals. Savory oils filled with soaked herbs. Sweet ice wine, vinted from frost-kissed grapes. And olives, for that strange fruit had struck just the right spot of Proper's palette and so Flash spoiled him.

even the material culture here just feels like something from Equestria’s Classical Age past

Flash shook his head. "I wouldn't ask it. There are too many dangers along the route. Even with a trade caravan, it would take many days in the deepest wilds." A feather brushed Proper's cheek, making the stallion's nose twitch. "As time passes and the roads become better-trod, it will grow safer. Then we can talk of it more. But until that day, I could not bear to see you harmed."

augh, so even here in this idyllic beginning there is this sense of tragic separation, by distance. and it makes a lot of sense that the links between old Equestria and the Crystal Empire were always tenuous, dependent on pegasus flight. fits both how distances impact an ancient setting and how marginal the Empire is in Equestrian culture

Proper nodded. "There will be a day when my service to Princess Amore ends, and it shall likely be before yours to your Princesses. We cannot exist on only a day or two once a moon, book-ended by you flying through night and storm for endless hours." He placed a hoof in the middle of Flash's chest. "So you will show me the emerald grasses and the stars that cannot be counted. I shall have an olive tree, and you shall have crystal in our home."
The kiss they shared was sudden but not short.
"So it shall be," said Flash when their lips finally parted.

augh such a beautiful vision to end it on! but of course the rules of storytelling demand that this beauty will become the sharpness of the knife to cut the reader with in the following acts. love it

Bicyclette

Bicyclette #30 · January 15th · 1 · · Interruption ·

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Proper Postal had just enough time to panic before there was a flash of sickly green light.
Then he thought no more.

oof, i knew that the Crystal Empire’s disappearance would be something that comes in between them but i totally forgot all the awful tragedy that could come of the part where Sombra turns all the crystal ponies into mind-controlled soldiers

One of the three Hearthswarmers looked up from the scroll on her desk.

ooh “Hearthswarmer” is a good name for that group of six ponies

For a moment, there was a flicker of something in Pansy's eyes. Pity, perhaps. "Give me the letter once you have written it," she said. "I will take personal responsibility for it."

and oof… easy to imagine Flash Magnus missing this

The Princesses' feared attacks never came, and Flash Magnus had spent an entire season leading guard over a peaceful land.

this does make it seem all this was just to prevent Flash Magnus from embarking on a suicide mission had he learned of what was going on up north. exactly the kind of thing i expect to go on in the court of the early Diarchy

Princess Celestia held up a hoof to silence him. "Fear not. Princess Luna remains with Equestria and was not harmed. No, the cost was the Empire itself."

love this ironic foreshadowing of Celestia’s own tragedy as she delivers the news of Flash’s

Flash Magnus set his head high, the first to respond. "I shall do what must be done for Equestria. There is nothing for me to leave behind."

this tragic backstory adding the context for this decision is just perfect. i imagine that, somehow, all the other Pillars also have their versions of it

Bicyclette

Bicyclette #31 · January 15th · 1 · · Love ·

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Unlike Princess Amore, Cadance preferred one of the more intimate sitting rooms rather than the throne room. From what little Proper had learned of her, she was shockingly casual for royalty.

ah these Millennial princesses, am i right?

Proper wanted to object as she was very obviously not like him - but disagreeing with royalty was also not something one did, so he stayed quiet.

oof that is quite the paradox. surely everything like this is yet another reminder of the weight of those thousand years

"Deliver mail," he said with a lackluster shrug. "There isn't much else."
Cadance pursed her lips. "Didn't you say that you planned to move to Equestria with him before everything happened?"
"With him," Proper noted darkly. He bowed. "Thank you."
And he left, allowing the Crystal Heart to dim slightly.

i just adore these lines they are perfect

Returning from Limbo was surprisingly easy. It was as if Flash Magnus had never left. One moment they were facing down the Pony of Shadows; the next they were… also facing down the Pony of Shadows, but along side Princess Twilight and her cadre of friends.

love this rhyme of Proper’s return proper

But it also felt wrong to not feel joy at living another day. The relief of seeing the Sun when you expected not to was as instinctive as breathing.

was this to explain the canon Flash not being a hollow shell of a stallion in the episode he’s revived in? a great way to explain it if so, but it is funny the little ways the canon gets in the way of our tragic gay romances

Princess Luna had become key: in the two weeks since their return, she was tutor and guide to the Pillars. While Princess Twilight and her friends meant well, it was Luna - similarly displaced in time - who was able to understand.

so true, Luna is the perfect bridge for the Pillars in this way

The old mustachioed major domo Kibitz cleared his throat. "ANNOUNCING THEIR ROYAL HIGHNESSES PRINCESS MI AMORE CADENZA AND PRINCE SHINING ARMOR OF THE CRYSTAL EMPIRE."

yay Kibitz is in this one!

She kissed him on the cheek before grabbing Flash by the shoulders. "We have to go to the Crystal Empire right now."

could there even be a more exciting moment for the Princess of Shipping?

Right now was unfortunately longer than Flash Magnus would have liked. The train carried them in hours where it would have taken days on hoof, but it was still too slow.

oof that touch of awkward realism

They kissed in a way each thought they never would again.

hell yeah

Cadance looped the bag across her barrel. "I will complete your route. Go home with my blessing."

aww love this little touch

The house was small, but they needed little more. Walls of crystal sparkled under the Sun and reflected the uncountable stars under the Moon. Boxes of crocuses blossomed under each window. And the path that cut across emerald-green grass to the front door was lined on both sides by olive trees.

and augh, a perfect way to end it! brings a tear to my eye.

truly, magnificently written. the first chapters truly feel like they were taken from the early days of the Diarchy, and the characters from then carry that through to its beautiful end. i couldn’t ask for a better way to open up the contest. thank you so much for writing!

TCC56

TCC56 #32 · January 15th · 1 · · Interruption ·

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11799543

this does make it seem all this was just to prevent Flash Magnus from embarking on a suicide mission had he learned of what was going on up north. exactly the kind of thing i expect to go on in the court of the early Diarchy

This is, in fact, exactly what it was. Because he would, and the Princesses know it. And he wouldn't stand a chance, and the Princesses know it.

TCC56