• Member Since 19th Aug, 2011
  • offline last seen Aug 4th, 2015

solsticebrony888


20 year old musician from Vegas that enjoyed writing about colorful equines.

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BonBon and Lyra always have considered each other the best friends that they would ever have. However, when Lyra starts dating somepony else, this brings up feelings BonBon didn't know she had for Lyra.

After 6 months, BonBon's feelings have only grown, and knowing Lyra didn't feel the same way broke her heart. To help with these feelings and that sadness that they brought with them, BonBon sees a therapist, which is where the story starts off.


Author's notes:
*Artwork by: http://kunaike.deviantart.com

*This story takes place before any of my other stories, none of which are required to read this one.

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 138 )

Oh, goody....Bon Bon versus The Abusive Jackass. Hopefully in this one, she can enlist the services of the :derpytongue2: from Equestria: Total War to kill his ass.

Pretty good so far! There are a few typos, but nothing major. I feel bad for poor Bon-Bon...

I swear to god if you call Lyra blue one more time....

uhhh lyra's green not blue...

That was a pretty nice start, not spectacular, but certainly setting the stage and worth following. The constant "blue" spam is aggravating, though, especially when Lyra's blueness is up to debate. At the very least, try to mix up the descriptors a bit. She can be described as teal, minty, torqoise, or you can just comment on something other than her coat. You also seem to have a little issue with the italics there at the end. Other than that, very readable, and I look forward to more.

Let's see where this goes

78371 I must have been thinking of her mane I noticed her slight greenness afterwards and it'll be fixed now.

78542 Will do, because I want this to be a spectacular start before I add to it.

78467 She's like a combo of both, I'll add better descriptions of her right now.

3.7 after 10 ratings? A bit harsh don't you guys think? If the ratings stay terrible after chapter two is added, this story will be deleted so I can focus on my other stories.

Eon

To me, this story is looking really good! I shall track it -click- Done! :eeyup:

79094 Thank you very much! I was worried it wasn't going to be received well because of some mistakes I forgot to fix, and me describing Lyra as blue instead of the teal color she is. Thanks brony!:pinkiehappy:

You may wanna fix the formatting. It's a little hard to follow...

79794 This is the best I could come up with for a story that has flashbacks. It does need some tweaking, however, and I'll do my best to find a better way to know readers understand when there is a flashback or not.

79797 Well, it's not the Flashbacks. What I meant was keep a space between paragraphs, and indent the first sentence of a paragraph. It flows nicely, and the sentences work well but the actual structure threw me off a few times; made me remember I was reading.

Great story though! Your work is really amazing! :)

79807:pinkiehappy: Thank you very much! I think I know what you mean, whenever I use italics for whenever BonBon is thinking about something, I didn't know where would be best to place it, in other words, I tries to place her thoughts separate from dialogue and paragraphs, which may have made some a little bit 'off'. I'll scan through right now and adjust what needs to be adjusted. Thanks again! :twilightsmile:

Wait. I liked the story but at the same time the summary confused me. Is this a Lyra/BonBon shipping or is that going to happen in the future after a few more chapters.?

79827 Well I don't want to spoil the ending before it's even published! A romance tag doesn't necessarily mean that BonBon is with Lyra, but I already have the ending in my head, I just have to write it now. If you'd like, message me and I'll tell you.

Congratulations on the feature!!!
I know this mean a lot to you, even if the story that got featured was not the one you initially thought would!
:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

79852 I randomly started getting a lot of emails about people tracking this story, and none others, so I checked and almost passed out. I'll use this as motivation to make this story as amazing as possible, but I won't sacrifice on my other stories either. Thank you :) :pinkiehappy:

Congrats on the feature!! I really like how this is turning out so far! Lyra and Bon Bon are 2 of my favorite background ponies! Can't wait to see how this turns out :pinkiehappy:

When Lyra opened the door I was expecting her to have a black eye. Also, who the fuck yells at someone for an hour for accidentally spilling juice on them?

79909 Thank you so much! I'll try not to disappoint.


79949 This story was inspired by a real life event with some friends close to me. The yelling over spilled juice event actually happened...

79858
As others have said, there are typos here and there (a few instances of blue still remain, for example), but overall this is very well written. You've got a lot of creative liberty when you write for background characters, even more when you write for an original character (I'm presuming the coltfriend will actually appear. My character-development senses are tingling!) It sounds like you have a definite idea of how you want to portray them, so go for it! :yay:

80022 I still consider Lyra blue, although it's a very greenish blue. I will address that and fix it before I release the next chapter, which should be tomorrow. Clearly Lyra shouldn't JUST be described as blue, and I will adjust it accordingly. Thank you for the kind words! :pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

80026 "the next chapter, which should be tomorrow."
:yay:

Anytime, brony! Always happy to cheer on a fellow artist!

Ooooh, I don't like him already, the swine. Fingers crossed for the lovely Bon-Bon.

Love it. Hope it develops more!

-Track + 5 stars-

Oh, my, so glad to see this doing so well! :rainbowkiss:
Ciao!

i see what you did their
"Lyra......
If only.......

pieces of the puzzle (i just infer, i hope it is, if not i feel silly)

5 star's

80022 I challenge you, show me at least two typos or even one.

this is really interesting! can't wait for more!! :pinkiehappy:

Poor Lyra... It's men-Er, Colts like that I just want to punch in the face. Love is something to be cherished, not tossed around and screamed at. People who can't appreciate love fully for what it is are just sick.

Forgot to say this: The fic title reminds me of an Eric Whitacre song by the same name. At the risk of rehashing old news, there's a PMV of it - just search "pmv what if"

Fantastic, I can't say I've seen anything like this on here yet. Very original! Definitely tracking, just like all your other fics, heh. :pinkiehappy:

80214 Thank you very much!

80661 Thank you! The next chapter should be up by tonight, barring any late changed made to it.

80753 I agree totally. That was part of my inspiration for this fic. True love.

81306 Thank you very much. All these good comments inspire to make this my best fic yet!

81531 SHOOT! let me fix that real quick!

Listening to dubstep totally ruins the mood, haha. Nice story though. I'm not much of a critique, but you can take my five, unless my mouse misclicks and I get four and a half. In that case, I apologize.

Well... the story is fine. I am only picky about the therapist's attitude.
Being a psychologist or a psychiatrist means that you have to be impersonal with your patients. I know- it sounds strange, but it's what the 'Medical Speech' demands of one. I am really against this; but the doctor, judging by his age, is old-school.
There's a fight to break that train of thought, though. Gestalt.

And I feel that the therapist's role in this fic is highly unnecessary. Bon Bon said and thought about everything by herself. She seems self-sufficiency enough.
But I guess we do need to be told what we already know... sometimes...

81605Well, this fic was meant to be much shorter, but as I kept writing his role in the story a little bit bigger than it maybe should have. Also, I've never actually seen a therapist so far, so I was basically going off of an educated guess of what they do. I'm sure not all are the same, and some may be like the one I portrayed, but I agree to some extent. BonBon would have never came to the conclusion without his advice, which gives him a bigger role to be seen in the next chapter. Thanks for the comment. :twilightsmile:

good story, i like it very much.

keep it up! :twilightsmile:

While there's life, there's hope.~Cicero

awwww:applecry:

very good!

I love it so far, can't wait for the next update.

81611
If you plan on keeping the therapist here's some advice.

You take a knife out of your pocket and yell to the man in front of you "I'm going to open your guts and rape your organs!"
If the man is a psychologist: He'll try to argue with you, convince you not to, etc.
If the man is a psychiatrist: He'll look you deep in the eyes and ask: "And how would that make you feel?" Without the slightest bit of emotion.
Ultimately, if you really planned on killing them; they will defend themselves, of course.

I know this is an rather extreme example, but It's what we Med students are taught...

82081The therapist is gone after this chapter, though BonBon does continue to reminisce. (I didn't want to add too many flashbacks, but adding just one more helps the flow of the last few chapter+the epilogue I may make.

Killing would be pretty dramatic, I must admit. (Maybe that's why BonBon went to see a therapist in the first place...?) :pinkiecrazy:

82090
*eagerly awaiting sounds* :pinkiecrazy:

This was a great chapter, although it broke my heart as a reader to see such a development with Lyra. :applecry:
My only complaint is that you could have left a sentence out: "This was the breaking point for Bonbon. [not looking at text; sorry if misquoted]" If you remove that sentence, it's still clear that she's broken, if for no other reason than tears are streaming down her face.

This chapter still needs a good bit of prereading, albeit mostly just for some small grammar mistakes. In the flashback scene in particular I remember there being multiple instances where a missed comma or apostrophe had me looking back and trying to figure out what had just been said. It's a bit distracting, is all.

That being said, I'm definitely looking forward to see what happens next!

8414 Ugh. That sucks. Maybe I rushed the chapter out a little bit. I'll do some editing when I get the chance. That's what I get for working on 3 stories at once.

suspense! :pinkiegasp:

awesome chapter!

Hm. Octavia being Lyra's older sister is a nice touch.

Also awesome story ^^

How can Octavia be Lyra's sister? They aren't the same species.

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