• Member Since 17th Dec, 2019
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago

Grand-Galvatron


Greetings all of Fimfiction, I am Grand-Galvatron, Equestria Girls Fanfic writer, and supreme leader of the Decepticons Descendants, The Predacons. Yeeesss!!!

T
Source

In the town of Canterlot, on a very stormy day, Sisters Celestia and Luna are trying to get home to escape from the storm, that was until Celestia heard the sound of a baby crying in the distance. The sisters came to see what it was and it was in fact a little infant, who was drenched from the rain and crying uncontrollably. Celestia's maternal instincts kicked in and they brought the little child into their home. Since Celestia saw that the infant was inside of a cardboard box, meaning the child's parents must have left her there, the two sisters decided to raise the child as their own, and after the storm ends, and they see the suns rays, they name the child Sunset Shimmer after the shimmering rays of the sunset. Since then, they have been raising a very friendly and energetic little girl. Now come, and listen to the journey of the human world Sunset, from childhood to adolescence to her college years, to her adulthood. It's going to be a wild ride.

I have changed it's rating to T because in future chapters there's going to be a lot of curse words and a little violence, but not a lot.

All credit goes to Grand Galvatron and Indigo Lightning Strike. Thank you Indigo, stay awesome. :scootangel::scootangel::scootangel:

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 85 )

Ooh! Interesting! Can't wait for more!

the cover makes me think this will include Sunlight shipping despite the lack of a romance tag

...unless it'll be added later

10324754
I'll be sure to add that, the romance stuff will come much later in the story since this is a Sunset coming of age story. :twilightsmile:

10324756
oh so the cover was intentional. that just cinched it for me, I'm definitely keeping an eye on this.
any chance of the events from the movies being included in this universe? In ANY capacity?

10324766
Later on in the story, there will be a moment where Human Sunset encounters the equestrian Sunset. Chaos and Hilarity will ensue.

10324789
I'm glad you love it.

BTW, Be sure to write a comment telling me why you liked it. :twilightsmile:

Man, it is so much easier to make these cutesy slice of life fics than crossover fanfics. I'm definitely making more of these for now on.

First off the feels secondly just how small is sunny for her to fit in what I am guessing is a shoebox at largest but then that would have to be some big jacket pockets. Digressing the feels are nice although kind wish we knew a bit more as to why exactly Sunsets birth parents cant support them and a baby but, that's just a small nit pick really looking forward to more.

10324932
Don't let go to your head, Scare.

It’s an interesting start. I’ll have to stay tuned to find out if I continue to like it haha.

She's small enough to fit in a box that can fit in a coat pocket, yet she can speak and clap? Something isn't adding up. The tone if the parents would imply she only a few weeks, maybe a month old at best, which would like up with the box thing, but a child that age shouldn't be able to speak, even a prodigy like the Equestrian Sunset.

You need to remember to form separate paragraphs if two people are talking. You did that twice, once with the abandoners and the other withe Celestia and Luna at the end.

Also I think it’s weird that baby Sunset would instantly adjust to two strangers so quickly. Especially if she’s old enough for her to talk.

This is an interesting idea...

But the part with the parents arguing is a bit weak. It would've been more...mysterious if Luna and Celestia found Sunset alone.

And the dialogue is a little clunky to boot.

You've got a good idea, but you need to do less with more.

I liked it a lot, i am very fanatic of reading comics online, and i must say that I really liked your story.

The part with the parents arguing is a really amazing, keep letting out your creativity I'll be waiting for the continuation

10327467
Thank you for your kind words. I will be continuing this great story. :scootangel::scootangel::scootangel::scootangel::scootangel::scootangel:

intrestingt start i look forward to more please update soon

Dialogue is a bit clunky, especially for the arguing couple. Might consider reading it aloud to see how it sounds.

the man got out a little cardboard box from his coat-pocket,

The only way this makes sense is if the father is a wizard. Harry Potter tie in and they had to abandon the baby to hide her from death eaters maybe? Babies are small, but not that small, and if she can already talk you're going to need a slightly bigger box than what'll fit in a pocket without magic. :unsuresweetie:

10371690
Don't worry, I'll change it so that it makes more sense. I'm trying not to include any magic in this story.

Preferred the previous cover art and is the current one even made by Rockset?

10381347
I know, but I saw another fanfic that had the same exact cover art.

10383335
Oh okay. It's just that the current one makes it look like a story only focusing on childhood.

*chuckles to himself*

little did they know, that first playdate kickstarted events leading to their children's wedding.😂😂😂😂😂

at least I'm assuming.

10391293
i sure hope so. i can see Celestia, Luna, and Twilight's parents reminiscing how that playdate led to them becoming in-laws.

A five year old wouldn't sleep in a crib, ya know. In two months, all you could manage was four paragraphs? If the chapter has no substance, don't post it.

Um...you should reduce that number to half a year later.

10391435
The drooling and biting on toys usually stops around one and a half year later....ish.

10391445
Its just to inform you, so you don't mess up big time.

10391449
I have decided to combine both part 1 and part 2 together so It will be more convenient.

I know that sourcing on FimFiction is *ss, as much as not being able to find an easier way to post a damn picture any tiime than having to insert an url, but why am I not getting the source with the link https://cdn-img.fimfiction.net/story/24kh-1597544824-472536-full ?
Thanks.

please, create a new paragraph whenever a new person speaks:

"Hello, this is Velvet, how may I help you?" Velvet said.

"Hello Velvet, this is Celestia," Celestia said.

"Oh Celestia, oh my gosh how have you been? I haven't seen you around for a while now, tell me, how was your trip to the beach?" Velvet asked her.

"Oh don't worry Velvet, we had a good time over there on the South Manehatten coast. I was wanting to call you so I could ask you to do a little favor for me." Celestia said.

"I still say no," Luna said. "Then you leave me no choice than to activate my secret weapon, "The Puppy-Dog Eyes," Celestia said as she gave Luna her puppy dog eyes. Luna tried to stay strong, but in the end, not even her will-power could defeat the power of the puppy dog eyes.

"UGGGGHHH, Fine, we'll take the child in, but you're paying me back big time for this," Luna said as she sulked in defeat. Celestia then ran over to the soggy box, and sure enough, there was an infant who was nicely wrapped up in a blanket that was getting soggy from the rain. Celestia then, picked up the child and carried her right back to their apartment.

Feel the wrath of puppy dog eyes Luna! :rainbowlaugh:

Awww how sweet Twilight and Sunset playing together.

It lives!!!!!!!!!!
I’m very excited for the next chapter

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